name: Liz

age: 45

current city: Memphis

living situation: I share the home with a husband, a dog, and two sons: Gus, age seven, and Solly, age two-and-a-half (listed in order of arrival).

occupation: I’m a freelance food, family and travel writer. My regular gigs are blogging at GoWithFamily.com and writing a monthly family food column for Memphis Parent.

how do you structure your time and space? My office space is in a nook between the kitchen and the dining room, which is great when I’m writing about food or cooking from a recipe I’ve gotten off the web but lousy when my desk is messy — which is most of the time — and the kids start fooling around with my stuff. To structure my time, I’ve tried everything from hour-by-hour scheduling (I still have “shower” listed on my iCal daily plan) to caroming intuitively from one task to the next. Right now, what seems to be working is establishing a set of general priorities and making lists. On the top of my list these days is to write for at least a couple of hours and then spend some time managing and promoting my blog.

Then comes home stuff. I’m always motivated by food, much more than by housekeeping, so I usually write a plan for the week so there’s no last-minute shopping and brain-racking. We sit down most nights to a pretty good home-cooked family meal.

However, there’s a part of me that feels uneasy folding clothes or organizing our belongings. I actually think that’s kind of messed up. There’s a toxic stew of self-denial and feminist angst that makes me feel like ironing is retrogressive, time-wasting, and even frivolous, when it’s actually productive and meditative.

I have trouble taking time to meditate, even though I know it enriches me. The best compromise I’ve come up with is running without my iPod, which is pretty close to meditating. In fact, the best thing I can do for myself is simply to monotask — to do what I’m doing without distracting myself with podcasts or Facebook. Sometimes this includes music and other times it’s just quiet. Otherwise, my self-care consists of regular exercise and trying to connect with other people who are also trying to be present, patient, and useful.

Both of my kids go to a school that I love for its community and what my kids learn there–so much beyond the ABCs. After teaching for ten years, I began to question the way conventional schools — even the really good ones — function. I thought about homeschooling when the older one was little, but there’s a reason I have to work on being present, patient and useful. It doesn’t always come easily to me. So homeschooling was out. But I found a school that nurtures their inherent desire to cooperate, learn and grow.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m tempted to say it’s the tired season right now. Having two young kids and being a freelancer is busy and exhausting in a way that’s very different from other tiring, busy times I’ve had in my life. It’s different from the laser-like focus on reading and writing of my grad school days, for example. It’s not all about me.

Taking things a day at a time is important to me whether I’m packing lunches and laundering diapers or trying to pull in a few more readers each day for my blog. But for the most part, my life is the result of my choices, which means that I’ve signed up for both the pluses and the minuses. I have to review that fact periodically so as to remember how lucky I am to have choices.

The highlights are pretty great. I get to do fun stuff with my family — eating, traveling, exploring, playing, reading — and then write about it. My kids try my patience, but that’s how they teach me patience. I get to grow up. And they are lovely, affectionate, original, and so utterly themselves.

-what season(s) preceded this one? There was a waiting season while the adoption of our younger son was processing. But of course waiting wasn’t all we did. You don’t live your life waiting, especially if you already have one bright shiny kid in your lap. So it was also a time of exploration. With just one kid, I was able to volunteer at Gus’s school, at the Farmers’ Market, and take on projects that seemed like they might contribute to the community, even if just in a small way. With two kids, I’ve had to shed most of the extracurricular stuff.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I have mixed feelings about entering the period when my boys will become more independent and I’ll move back into putting more of my energy into my writing, teaching, or community work. (I didn’t have the stamina to teach and raise kids, and am seriously amazed by people who do.) But a friend of mine was reflecting on how she keeps herself in balance, and she said that it was necessary for her to avoid hanging her identity on any one of her roles — mom, worker, wife. Because it’s almost guaranteed that things will change. Well, not even ‘almost,’ in the case of the mom role.

favorite family activities: I love exploring with my kids, biking, hiking, camping, trying new foods, and visiting state parks and weird places no one else ever visits. My husband and I have to compromise, because he’s not so crazy about camping and its discomforts, so we find budget-friendly ways of staying in hotels and cabins. At home we do a lot of lying around and reading.

favorite solo activities: lying around and reading, cooking, eating, knitting, killing plants, and traveling alone (one thing I miss about my single life)

When you travel alone you can stand in front of a picture in a museum for as long as you want, or read a book in a cafe if you like. It’s just a different kind of adventure.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by my grandmother, who co-owned a travel agency in the ‘70s and ‘80s. She traveled by herself to Austria this summer, weeks before her 91st birthday, to go to a friend’s wedding.

Another source of inspiration is my dad, who reinvented himself as a poet and then started a post-retirement career publishing an Edible magazine. He’s got enormous integrity.

best MakeShift moment: The other day when the kids were extra-wild, I bought myself time to cook supper by letting them entwine all of our downstairs furniture in a giant yarn spiderweb. It’s taken me a while to recognize that messes like that don’t matter, especially when they allow me to get something done with the kids nearby.

check out liz’s blogs:

• http://gowithfamily.com
• http://peachesandbuttermilk.blogspot.com/

follow liz on twitter: @GoWithFamily

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

a few weeks ago, my friend maryann reminded me of this wonderful quotation about motherhood and ministry, found in the equally wonderful book listening for god by renita weems. i think it can be easily stretched to speak to all mothers who are modifying and trying to integrate their visions of vocation and motherhood. i forgot to breathe while i was reading these words: 

“i will never be the writer i would have been had i not become a mother. nor will i be the minister or professor i could have been if i hadn’t had to suffer the interruptions of a sulking child or the vibes of a brooding husband transmitted under the door of my study. i give up writing the book i might have written or the sermon i might have preached every time i wander out of my study and follow the smell of popcorn wafting in the air, follow it in to the family room, where the rest of the family is watching the lion king for the forty-second time. i’ll never be able to recapture the fine sentences swirling in my head, or the fresh revelations that were about to lay hold of me. but for the joy of getting down on the cold hardwood floor and singing, “hakuna matata,” i’ll settle for bits and pieces of revelation god sends my way, and see what, if anything, i can make of them when i can. because today is today, and that’s all i have.”

and now, in light of a restless night with the bird and the inevitable morning-after fog that now surrounds me, i’m going to “wander out of my study,” as renita writes. happy thursday!

and p.s. renita still managed to be a wonderful professor. i was lucky enough to have her for hebrew bible at vanderbilt.

[the source for this post can be found on the bibliography page located in the sidebar to your right.]

name: Betty

age: 56

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband Larry. My daughter Lulu (19) lives with us when she’s not at college. My stepson Tyler (19) just moved back to PA with his mom, and my stepdaughter Lindsay (23) just moved out into her own apartment with her boyfriend.

occupation: I am a writer. I currently run a blog called What Gives 365. Every day for 365 days, I give $100 to causes, people, and organizations that I believe are doing good work and are worthy of support. And every day, I write about why I chose to give– which hopefully will inspire other people to give a few bucks of their hard-earned money, too. I’ve also written two tragi-comic books on motherhood: I’m Too Sexy For My Volvo: A Mom’s Guide to Staying Fabulous! and The Agony and The Agony: Raising Your Teenager without Losing Your Mind.

how do you structure your time and space? I work at home. I’ve converted the third floor bedroom into my writing lair. I love it because it’s far from the kitchen, and I can’t find anything to clean, eat or distract myself with up here – plus I have a great view of the trees. I generally come up here with coffee at about seven or eight a.m. I stay up here writing until I post my blog  (about noon). Then, I’ll go to tennis or just eat something. I return to work during the afternoon and sometimes at night as well. When my kids are home, I’m much less of a workaholic. When they’re not, I’m working pretty much all the time, at least for now.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I guess I’m in autumn. I am winding down in the parental role, having to figure out the next scenario with my husband, figuring out what to do with my talents and abilities in the next stage, wanting to earn money without being a slave to it, and negotiating my independence versus my need for intimacy. I spend time wondering who I am when I’m not a day-to-day mom anymore, and wondering if the best part of life is behind me. As I try to get okay with being older, I wonder if this is the stage of life when everybody starts to die on you. I am happy and often even exhilarated, but I also kind of wait for the ax to fall or the frost to come. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer. It was the end of having the kids living at home. It was a time of a lot of activity, the frenzy of coming changes, sweetness, ripeness, and the sense of things ending. I wanted to hold on and not let go because I knew that things would soon be colder and emptier. I had the feeling of impending loneliness, but with this came a greater appreciation of the beauty of the moment. And there were a lot of episodes of feeling very hot. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? Winter, death, the end. The only good news is grandchildren! But, there is always the possibility of rebirth!!!

favorite family activities: traveling, entertaining, going to movies and college events, watching television, playing board games, going to church, getting together with friends, going shopping or to the movies with my daughter, visiting with my step-kids and seeing them grow, cooking, and talking, and laughing

favorite solo activities: gardening, tennis, reading, visiting with girlfriends and family, writing, traveling, and taking courses at the college where my husband works.

source(s) of inspiration: The New Yorker, the Bible, music, poetry, books, movies, the Internet, nature, my church, other people

best MakeShift moment: For some reason, a couple of years back, my home got chosen to be on the Tour of Homes in Brookhaven  in the “garden” category. Given all the ultra fancy backyards in this area with gobs of landscaping, ours is pathetic – no pool, no grand sculptures, no mazes or topiaries, nada. So my friend and I decided we were just going to go with the kitschy look – and since it was late October, I created a scary haunted house thing with hanging spiders; cobwebs; lots of skeletons; a sitting Freddy Krueger; a dried ice fire pit; creepy lighting; and tons of flowers, haystacks, and pumpkins. It ended up looking really cute and fun — not glam, for sure — but definitely creative, and entertaining, and cool. I was kind of proud of that.

find betty on the web:

• blog: http://whatgives365.wordpress.com/
• the agony and the agony: http://www.amazon.com/Agony-Raising-Teenager-without-Losing/dp/1600940749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282134454&sr=1-1 
• i’m too sexy for my volvo: http://www.amazon.com/Im-Too-Sexy-My-Volvo/dp/1593375026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282135806&sr=1-1

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Kathi

age: 38 (ouch!)

current city: Hermosa Beach, CA

living situation: I live with my husband, Sean, our four year old daughter, and our two year old son.

occupation: I am what Mary Allison calls “a part-time hybrid mother.” I work full time for my family and part time out in the world as a designer.

how do you structure your time and space? I see the balance challenge as two different ventures. There is the mental balance and the actual logistical balance. The two are intertwined of course, but it is easier to answer this question if I separate them.

The mental side of this equation is the hardest for me. When I am not with the kids physically, I think about them and want to be with them. When I am with the kids physically, I am thinking about what I will accomplish next time I have some “coverage.” It was this way when I worked 40+ hours per week and it is this way now that I work part time. I am not sure if it is innovative or creative, but I am a firm believer in my mommy natural cocktail to help with the mental balance and focus. A morning dosage of peppermint essential oil under the nose forces me to wake up and start the day with a deep breath, mid-morning and afternoon shots of the amino acid L-Theanine really keep my head above ground, and an evening serving of melatonin helps to get me to sleep early. This is a formula that really helps me along with a decent amount of protein and a dash or so of caffeine.

Regarding the logistical balance, until December of ‘09, I worked more than full time outside of the home as a marketing consultant. So for the first four years of motherhood, the balance was entirely different than it has been for the last six months. We now have a nanny who comes ten to eighteen hours per week, depending on my needs and deadlines. I use those hours now to work part-time as a designer and writer. For the last five months I have been working in my home office to design a line of children’s clothing. I blog about these design escapades and my journey of “owning my own motherhood” at www.semi-handmade.com .

The one approach that I use that could seem a little innovative, is that I try not to spend any time away from my kids (while using any sort of paid help) doing something that someone else could do just as well. I’ve had my nanny run one last errand, address envelopes, iron seams, cut patterns, et cetera while I take over with the kiddos.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlights of my current season are definitely the increased quantity and quality of hours I am able to spend with my kiddos. I am savoring the sweetness of this stage in our lives before the kids are both in school more. I am ever so grateful to be away from the corporate world for a while to enjoy being an integral part of the things they are learning and exploring, the questions they are asking, and the emotional intelligence they are building.

Challenges include staying focused and slowing down. After working in a fast-paced, demanding, and results-oriented career for so long, the new pace of my days can sometimes make my brain feel quite fuzzy. I have to try really hard to not measure the day’s success by what we have accomplished, what I can cross off  my list, and how much closer we are toward our “quota.” It took me three months to stop the habit of checking my blackberry at 6:00 every morning and to stop looking for the meeting or client who “needed” me right away.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The first four years of motherhood (2006-2009) were a mixture of pure bliss and great turmoil; I definitely would call that winter. I vividly remember running through airports with bags of breast milk in hand, anxious to get home to see my kiddos before they went to sleep. Sometimes those airplanes were delayed. Sometimes those airplanes were ahead of schedule and I did indeed make it home before they shut their tired eyes. I also will probably always remember being on a business trip for my little guy’s first birthday. Sure we celebrated later that week, but missing the actual date was physically painful for me. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? Literally and figuratively, I would call what lies ahead summer. I think the last time I had the summer off from a full time paying job was in 1986. While I do have a bit of work to do on my designs and writing, the next eight weeks of summer will include a lot of beach days and exploring around our tiny little seaside home and greater LA. I would love to call it an “endless summer” ahead for us, but I am not sure.

favorite family activities: The kids and I love to walk along the beach boardwalk, meeting as many dogs as we can and asking what the dogs’ names are. I am hoping that this summer, stand up paddle boarding and kayaking become a favorite family activities too, as I think this may be the summer of water for us.

favorite solo activities: I love any yoga class that is 65 minutes or less. Any longer than that drives me crazy. I also am enjoying a cardio core class at the gym right now, mainly because there is great music, it makes me sweat, the 55 minutes are a really good use of the time. I really enjoy sewing and knitting as well. I take a lot of photos and I enjoy that, and I am enjoying the results (not the actual process) of learning a bit more about Photoshop.

sources of inspiration: I do not have what fellow Mother of Invention, High Heeled Mom, calls an everything mentor .

When it comes to parenting, I am inspired by my daughter’s teachers at del sol, Janette and Cecilia. I am also inspired by quite a few of the parenting educators at the Center for Non-violent Education and Parenting.

When it comes to design, I am inspired by very random things. Right now I am completely fixated on this old wooden dilapidated bench I saw in the alley behind a Cajun restaurant near our house. I am not sure why but this bench, with its wood that is falling apart and beautifully bleached by the sun, is really sticking with me. It is terrific balance of modern and organic, this bench. Certain fabrics, such as Anna Maria Horners Little Folks Voiles also send me off and running with ideas.

I am also constantly inspired by contrasts. Contrasting colors, textures, lighting, moods…

My children and their friends inspire me in many ways. Their joy and honesty inspires me to find that within myself and tap into my own inner child.

best MakeShift moment: Juggling the corporate career and motherhood made for many MakeShift moments, mostly around breast pumps and conference calls, or breast pumps and public facilities.

Closer to home and more recently, I have had several MakeShift Moments as I balanced the needs of small people in our house with my desire to have a “designer” home, worthy of a “Coastal Living” center spread. A girl can have dreams, right, even if some are materialistic in nature? As function surpasses form these days, I pause, laugh, and try to remember that Martha Stewart’s Crosby-home-visit is not scheduled for some time yet.

When I took down the dining room table in order to make room for a play and art area that was closer to the kitchen, I conceded to the notion that I could have it all, just NOT all at the same time. It hit me that day that I was not going to be having sit down dinner parties while small children where in this house. While I carried the very heavy dining room table to the garage, I knew I was treading in the middle ground. This was the balance appropriate for our stage, and it did not include a dining room.

I had a similar MakeShift moment when we disassembled our bed frame and put our mattress right smack on the floor. This allowed me to stop using up valuable head space visualizing my monkeys jumping off the bed and needing stitches at the ER. A similar MakeShift moment that involved function over form took place just last weekend, when we butted a full-sized mattress right up to our California King-sized mattress. I have never seen that in Coastal Living magazine spreads, have you? But this is our balance. This is who we are — the Crosby Family — as we shift and “re” volve.

check out kathi’s blog at http://www.semi-handmade.com/.

first name: Tiernan

age: 34

current city: Denver

living situation: I live with my husband, Cody, our three children (ages three, four, and six) and our seven year old Yorkie, Mabry. Mentally, I have one foot in the country and one foot in the city at all times.

occupation: Writer/Small business owner/Mom

how do you structure your time and space? Only my oldest is in school right now (only half day), we don’t have any family in town, and we don’t do daycare. Consequently, I am with my kids ALOT. I love it but it can be exhausting. I am a writer for a number of online magazines, as well as a blogger and a small business owner (with my husband).

I just got a day planner and I don’t know how I lived without it. It was so liberating to transfer all of my commitments from scraps of paper in my purse to the planner. I feel so official and organized now! We are about to move into a new (for us) house that has a huge office, and I found a vintage double-sided post office desk that my husband and I are going to use. I cannot wait!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I am Colorado autumn right now. One day it’s 80 degrees and sunny, the next day it is 40 degrees (still sunny but cold), the next day it is snowing, and then it’s sunny again. I actually relate to Colorado’s climate quite well because regardless of the current conditions, sun is inevitably right around the corner. With the kids being so young right now, I am in a constant maelstrom of child-related chaos. With one hand, I’m stubbornly holding on to my individual identity, but the other hand is in the grip of thirty sticky fingers (and ten not-so-sticky, but rather large fingers), which are pulling me in the other direction. Sometimes I feel like standing my ground is futile, and I give in to the world of sweatsuits, pony tails, and mini-vans. Not that there’s anything wrong with those things, but if you don’t step back every once in a while and remember who you are and what you love, you will be swallowed up. Mothering presents the constant challenge of finding balance between who I was, who I am, and who I want to be.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Glorious summer! Kids make you realize how easy life was before they entered the picture. Honestly, I look back and realize I was practically on vacation up until 2004 when my first born arrived. All I needed was a mojito and a bathing suit! Don’t get me wrong. Of course, my children are my greatest blessing but life has just transformed. One day, summer will return. But this time, it will be a family beach vacation rather than a girls’ trip to Cabo. I’m good with that. The promise of summer represents the dreams I have for my family.

-What season(s) might your future hold? SUMMER! I’m counting on it (yes, I notice the trend).

Favorite family activity: Hiking, riding bikes/scooters, playing board games, movie nights, picnics

favorite solo activities: My two greatest passions are books and horses. Few things make me happier than riding or curling up with a cup of tea and a book. Horses have been a part of my life since the age of five. I love the smell of wood shaving and manure.

As far as books are concerned, I admire the dedication and creativity involved in writing fiction. Even if a book isn’t stellar, I respect the fact that the author’s emotional sweat is poured out on the pages. I also practice yoga three to four times a week and love to run and cook. 

sources of inspiration: Women who are willing to mentor other women. Sometimes all you need to reach a new level of success is a little guidance and someone to believe in you. Too often, we are too busy to reach out and give of our time, but some women will go above and beyond to help another recognize a dream. Also, I admire anyone who trail-blazes in any forum. If you do something unexpected or against the grain and just keep moving forward in the face of adversity, I am inspired by you.

best MakeShift moment: My son had been begging me for months to use a box of paints that his nanna gave him. I kept putting if off because, well, paints makes a huge mess and I didn’t want to deal with it. This week, I finally gave in. I put a craft mat on the front yard, pulled out the dreaded paints and went to grab some paper. Small problem: no paper. Three eager faces stared back at me, so I went to my husband’s dresser, grabbed three white t-shirts and told them to get to work. They painted each other, and then they painted some moving boxes. They had so much fun doing it! 

check out tiernan’s blog at www.tiernanmckay.blogspot.com.

first name: Stacey

age: 37, soon to be 38

current city:  Memphis

living situation: Husband Warren Oster, sons Satchel (7) and Jiro (5)

occupation: I work in Community Relations at Memphis Light Gas and Water, but most people think I make a living as a freelance writer.

how do you structure your time and space? I have a basic 8:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. job, but I have the option of a compressed work week (four ten hour days). I prefer the four day week, but I can’t always make it work. My husband is an archaeologist and a full-time student getting his masters in Elementary Education. He actually has a much more flexible work life/schedule than I do. He ends up taking the kids to work with him or staying home with them if they are sick, he shuttles our younger child to four speech therapy classes every week, et cetera. He also does the bulk of grocery shopping and cooking! This allows me to get my work done at the office and then have time to do interviews, and related work for all of the freelance writing assignments I take on. I used to stay up really late at night (like 1 a.m.) getting everything done, but six months ago I started getting up at 5:30 a.m. to work out. Now I’m lucky if I can stay up past 10 p.m.! Most of the freelance work I do (as well as special projects like Rock-n-Romp) involve my kids. This, along with my husband’s awesomeness, is the only way I can fit in extracurricular activities.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I’m stuck in spring, which I guess is a good place to be. For instance, if you ask me what the date is, I automatically think it is March 26. Isn’t that weird? It’s the day my dad died and also the day Warren and I decided to get married, so it’s kind of a pivotal day, but still, I’m mentally stuck there. Luckily spring is a time of renewal and I seem to always feel like the possibilities are endless and the future is bright.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Winter, maybe? I feel like I was hibernating most of my life, waiting for my big awakening.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I suppose someday there will be an autumn for me, a time to rest and enjoy all of the pretty colors. 

favorite family activities: We love going out to eat, which is evidenced by my Dining with Monkeys blog. We’ve covered about 200 restaurants and are always on the lookout for new places to try. Also a week doesn’t pass that we don’t go hike in the Old Forest of Overton Park. When it’s nice outside, we like to ride our bikes/roller skate/skateboard around town. Swimming at the Memphis Jewish Community Center is another big summertime activity for us. We never miss a Rock-n-Romp. Team Oster (that’s what we call ourselves) also loves a good road trip.

favorite solo activities: I really like my 5:30am workouts, but I don’t do them alone. I have an awesome workout partner, Ashley Harper. Every Tuesday I have roller derby practice (I’m a referee now after skating for two years) followed by drinks at the Cove. It’s one of the highlights of my week. My only truly solo activity would be writing, which I do every single day in some form, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

sources of inspiration: Definitely my kids. 100%. They provide me with never-ending subject matter!

best MakeShift moment: The Hot Pink Paper Clips were scheduled to play Rock-n-Romp last August. The band is composed of four middle school girls. They had been practicing all week in preparation for the show, for which they were SO excited, but three out of four of them came down with the swine flu and had to cancel the night before the show. I remembered that my husband’s boss’s son was in a band at White Station High School, but I wasn’t sure if they were any good. I called my husband’s boss and ran the idea by him. He made some calls and by 9:00 on Friday night we had the Theoretical Monkeys scheduled to play at 3:00 the next afternoon. Luckily, they turned out to be really good. (And they were absolutely darling!) My husband’s boss was especially thrilled, and things really couldn’t have turned out better. The Hot Pink Paper Clips returned to health and played our November show.

find stacey on the web at: 

• www.fertilegroundzine.com
• www.diningwithmonkeys.com
• www.memphisrocknromp.blogspot.com
• www.overtonparkforever.org

first name: Sarla

age: 58 

current city: Memphis

living situation: Married with one adult child, 24, now living at home.

occupation: Yoga teacher and studio owner

how do you structure your time and space? I spend a lot of time at home alone, at least until recently, when my son came back from New York to do a show at his father’s theatre, Playhouse on the Square. At this point in my life, I feel that my career has replaced my job as a parent. I recently stopped working seven days a week. There is a fine line, for me, between work and play. Since I am a yoga teacher, and I love yoga, it is often fun to practice and teach. It is also just as often a chore. I have recently given up two private clients and one of my public classes so that I could focus more time on being artistic and creative. I practice mediation everyday, as it is the  source of all my intuition and the foundation of my life as a wife, mother, friend and business owner. I cannot imagine life without meditation.  I sit for at least 30 minutes every day. Oddly enough, my meditation space is in my home office, which also serves as my yoga studio. I think that this combination makes my workspace more sacred. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? At 58 I am challenged by the fact that I have fewer years ahead of me than behind. I feel wiser and more aware of the fragility of life and the tendency many of us have to work too much and play too little. I have worked full time since I was 16. I find that as I get older I want to work less, but work more because I have more time on my hands. 

It was incredibly challenging for me when my children left home.  Family is very important to me and I treasure every moment that I can spend with my adult children, of whom I’m very proud. (My daughter, Katie Nichols Cook, is a highly successful realtor at Marx and Bensdorf, and my son, Jordan Sinclair Nichols, is an actor and choreographer extraordinaire.) However, I want to do some things that I have been putting off for most of my life. One of these is writing. I have always sensed that I have a novel somewhere in me and I want to give it an opportunity to emerge. My challenge is setting aside the time each day to write.  To that end, I am now doing The Artist’s Way for the fourth time, and I saw this questionnaire as an exercise in creativity. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Prior to this season, which I would call “the golden years,” I had “the season of malcontent,” a childhood fraught with violence, confusion, anger, addiction, and what seemed would be a never ending battle with depression. In 1990 I stopped drinking for ten years, a time I would call “the season of re-birth.” I left my marriage to be with the man who is my present husband, started teaching yoga, and established my meditation practice. In 2001, I opened Midtown Yoga, which began “the season of manifestation and hard work.” Nine years later, I feel confident as a woman, a mother, a wife, a homemaker and a very good business woman. I also believe that I am now the yoga teacher I also dreamed of being. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? “The season of  self-acceptance and limitlessness.” I want to take dance lessons. I want to write and sing. I want to give myself the gifts that I have so freely given to my children.

favorite family activity: We love to play scrabble and other board games and to watch movies together.  My favorite thing to do with my family is to go to Florida. I have gone every year since I was 18. We all love the beach at Seaside. 

favorite solo activity:I’m presently working on that. I love to read, but spend very little time doing that recreationally. I also love to take long, solitary walks. I like to swim laps and I enjoy crime shows. 

sources of inspiration: Rod Stryker, my yoga teacher, Swami Rama, Meditation, yoga, friendships, sunshine, good books, the ocean, the sky, and the never ending gift of life.

best MakeShift moment: When I was 40 years old and doing The Artist’s Way for the first time, I got a wild hair to travel across country by myself, from Memphis to Seattle. I did it and stayed there for a month with my then yoga teacher, Felicity Green. The entire trip was a makeshift moment. I never planned where I would stay along the way or where I would eat or what I would do. It was the best thing I have ever done in my entire life, besides having my two amazing children. In retrospect, I think that my whole life has been a makeshift moment. I am not a planner. I am spontaneous and have my best ideas on the fly, including seeing Midtown Yoga full blown the day I walked into what was then The Jett College of Beauty.

Sarla is married to the love of her life, Jimmy Lewis. When she is not tending to the tasks associated with owning and directing Midtown Yoga, she may be found working on her memoirs. 

first name: Melissa

age: 34 

current city: Memphis

living situation: loft apartment with husband and daughter (3 years old)

occupation: professional photographer, freelance writer

how do you structure your time and space? Currently we live in a loft, which makes the division of labor a bit tricky. When mom is on the computer, she is also in her daughter’s play space, so it makes working from home challenging. My daughter attends a daycare twice a week for a 6 hour stretches; even with his help, we often find ourselves doing our work after she goes to bed, so I often feel like I never see my husband even if he’s just across the living room! We have ultimately decided to send her to school everyday; she is intensely social, so I don’t feel as guilty about this decision as I once did. I’ve made sure to spend an hour out of her school time for pilates; that’s my church. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? trying to stay present as my daughter’s creativity and imagination blossoms; often she wants to play some hybrid role playing game, and I’m trying not to think about client emails I need to return

-what season(s) might your future hold? Spring – renewal for both of us. Also, my husband and I are blessed with fairly flexible schedules (read: no schedule) due to our freelance jobs. But the flip side of this is little structure and chaotic child care. A lot of my day consists of trying to steal time to edit photos while playing dress up with my daughter. I had always envisioned having two kids, but now I can’t imagine willingly inviting more chaos into our lives. We both have siblings we love dearly, and I’m saddened by the thought of my daughter not having a brother or sister, but I get secretly giddy by the thought of how much more we could do as a family of 3: travel easier, afford to travel easier. Our daughter would be that cool kid who gets to bring a friend along for awesome excursions. We wouldn’t have to split further our already fractured attention spans between 2 kids. Even better, more time with the husband, and time to revel in being his girl, not just the mama of his kids. But even the act of writing this makes me feel guilty. Another awesome kid? Why wouldn’t we try to move heaven and earth and our schedules around to have one of those?

favorite family activities: walking by the river, Rock N Romp, going to Miss Cordelia’s for groceries and a cookie 

favorite solo activities: pilates, writing at Republic Coffee, taking pictures of downtown Memphis

sources of inspiration: dinner with friends, a glass of wine while cooking dinner

best MakeShift moment: Typing an entry for a fiction contest one handed while rocking my daughter and my dog throwing up at my feet. I can’t say handled the situation gracefully, but I got the sucker done, rocked the kid to sleep and cleaned up the puke. All in a day’s work.  

the first picture was taken at a book signing for melissa’s first book, Veiled Remarks: A Curious Compendium for the Nuptually Inclined. check out melissa’s blog for her fabulous photography and well-crafted tales: http://www.modernmedusahead.blogspot.