lest you be misguided by yesterday’s blissful notes on camp, i must add the following observation about traveling with small children:

vacations are not really vacations. they are simply the act of schlepping all of one’s stuff, one’s kids, their stuff, and all of the responsibilities related thereto, to an alternate location of one’s choice. kids still hit each other, wake up in the middle of the night, refuse to eat growing foods, and stack chairs in the kitchen in pursuit of chocolate. it’s just that on vacation, parents have the pleasure of looking at the mountains or the beach while they are dealing with the aforementioned issues.

however, july in montreat offers a bit of a vacation from the vacation in the form of “clubs,” a kids’ day camp that meets on weekdays from 8:30 to noon and 2:00 – 4:00 in the afternoon. this is the first year that both of my children have attended both morning and afternoon clubs, which officially makes july of 2011 the most time i’ve had away from my children since they were born. i was musing to my friend, anne, about how this absence was affecting  me, and she (the mother of two grown children and three grandchildren) summed it up well.

it’s all about energy. the more energy we have, the better parents we are. when we don’t have energy, we are simply muddling through.

having my children in other people’s care gave me more energy for the times that i was with them. for example, on the saturday when the bird tee-teed all over the dining table and the monkey promptly covered the rest of the table in glue, i reacted with an uncharacteristic sense of calm likened to that of the dalai lama.

when the bird spent thirteen solid days clamoring for his daddy, who was in memphis, i was able to laugh and not get my feelings hurt as i usually do.

the kids did eventually wear me down though. by the end of the trip, even with the added childcare, i was muddling through. the grand finale, marked by two sleepless nights hovered over a croup-plagued bird, returned me to my familiar listless state.

if only there were a couple of extra hours in the day for sleeping or a couple of extra parents in the household for trouble shooting! in the absence of these wish list items, i can offer you only this: my recipe for muddling through in style (adapted from design sponge):

summer elderflower cocktail

ingredients

• st. germain licour
• club soda
• lime
• mint
• gin

directions:

• muddle mint and juice from half of lime in the bottom of a low-ball glass.
• add ice and throw in the squeezed lime.
• add the desired amount of alcohol (about half st. germain and half gin).
• top with soda and stir.

you might want to purchase one of these.

every muddler needs a muddler.

yesterday, the monkey and i spent all day like this…

so that we can spend all week like this:

we arrived in the florida panhandle just in time to pick up andy and his charge, the bird, who really prefers to fly. let the fun begin!

first name: Tiernan

age: 34

current city: Denver

living situation: I live with my husband, Cody, our three children (ages three, four, and six) and our seven year old Yorkie, Mabry. Mentally, I have one foot in the country and one foot in the city at all times.

occupation: Writer/Small business owner/Mom

how do you structure your time and space? Only my oldest is in school right now (only half day), we don’t have any family in town, and we don’t do daycare. Consequently, I am with my kids ALOT. I love it but it can be exhausting. I am a writer for a number of online magazines, as well as a blogger and a small business owner (with my husband).

I just got a day planner and I don’t know how I lived without it. It was so liberating to transfer all of my commitments from scraps of paper in my purse to the planner. I feel so official and organized now! We are about to move into a new (for us) house that has a huge office, and I found a vintage double-sided post office desk that my husband and I are going to use. I cannot wait!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I am Colorado autumn right now. One day it’s 80 degrees and sunny, the next day it is 40 degrees (still sunny but cold), the next day it is snowing, and then it’s sunny again. I actually relate to Colorado’s climate quite well because regardless of the current conditions, sun is inevitably right around the corner. With the kids being so young right now, I am in a constant maelstrom of child-related chaos. With one hand, I’m stubbornly holding on to my individual identity, but the other hand is in the grip of thirty sticky fingers (and ten not-so-sticky, but rather large fingers), which are pulling me in the other direction. Sometimes I feel like standing my ground is futile, and I give in to the world of sweatsuits, pony tails, and mini-vans. Not that there’s anything wrong with those things, but if you don’t step back every once in a while and remember who you are and what you love, you will be swallowed up. Mothering presents the constant challenge of finding balance between who I was, who I am, and who I want to be.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Glorious summer! Kids make you realize how easy life was before they entered the picture. Honestly, I look back and realize I was practically on vacation up until 2004 when my first born arrived. All I needed was a mojito and a bathing suit! Don’t get me wrong. Of course, my children are my greatest blessing but life has just transformed. One day, summer will return. But this time, it will be a family beach vacation rather than a girls’ trip to Cabo. I’m good with that. The promise of summer represents the dreams I have for my family.

-What season(s) might your future hold? SUMMER! I’m counting on it (yes, I notice the trend).

Favorite family activity: Hiking, riding bikes/scooters, playing board games, movie nights, picnics

favorite solo activities: My two greatest passions are books and horses. Few things make me happier than riding or curling up with a cup of tea and a book. Horses have been a part of my life since the age of five. I love the smell of wood shaving and manure.

As far as books are concerned, I admire the dedication and creativity involved in writing fiction. Even if a book isn’t stellar, I respect the fact that the author’s emotional sweat is poured out on the pages. I also practice yoga three to four times a week and love to run and cook. 

sources of inspiration: Women who are willing to mentor other women. Sometimes all you need to reach a new level of success is a little guidance and someone to believe in you. Too often, we are too busy to reach out and give of our time, but some women will go above and beyond to help another recognize a dream. Also, I admire anyone who trail-blazes in any forum. If you do something unexpected or against the grain and just keep moving forward in the face of adversity, I am inspired by you.

best MakeShift moment: My son had been begging me for months to use a box of paints that his nanna gave him. I kept putting if off because, well, paints makes a huge mess and I didn’t want to deal with it. This week, I finally gave in. I put a craft mat on the front yard, pulled out the dreaded paints and went to grab some paper. Small problem: no paper. Three eager faces stared back at me, so I went to my husband’s dresser, grabbed three white t-shirts and told them to get to work. They painted each other, and then they painted some moving boxes. They had so much fun doing it! 

check out tiernan’s blog at www.tiernanmckay.blogspot.com.