first name: Selena

age: 39

current city: Memphis area

living situation: I live with my husband, Paul, and my two sons, ages two and a half and four and a half.

occupation: I juggle a few projects to keep things interesting, but not a full-fledged “occupation.” I’m taking time to enjoy my boys while they’re young. 

For the past three years, I’ve been volunteering on the Board of Directors for COMEC (The Commission on Missing & Exploited Children), the organization that issues Amber Alerts for the region and provides child safety programs and counseling for at-risk kids. Before motherhood, I was an event planner, caterer, and food service director, so I use my skills to plan fundraisers for COMEC. Our next event, the 4th Annual COMEC Treasure Hunt at the Pink Palace, is on Sunday, June 6th from 1-5. It’s the best pirate theme party in town and such a fun family-friendly event! Check out our COMEC Treasure Hunt Facebook event page or website, www.comec.org.

Swashbucking fun at the 2008 COMEC Treasure Hunt

Recently, I started selling sponsorship ads for my friend Tran’s new TV show, Traveling with Tots, which airs on ABC 24 on June 26th at 6:30 a.m. I love that her production company is called Grumpy Pants Productions! It’s marketed to parents with young children, and such a great show!

I also help administer a group called Moms of the Midsouth. Groups like this are SO important! I joined when my first son was three months old and I was new to the area and had no family in town. This wonderful group of women gave me the support I needed to find myself as a mother. I’ve made some very dear friends and enjoyed playgroups and “moms’ night out” events. I’m also a member of the meetup.com “Moms N Munchkins” group. Networking with other moms has been my lifeline! I adore my two book club groups with these women, since we need to make sure we can actually have some discussions that involve topics other than babies, childbirth and potty training.  

how do you structure your time and space? I’ve never been good at organizing my projects. If there’s a way to feel on top of everything and be the superwoman of paperwork, it eludes me! I consider it a huge step that I now have a small accordion folder to trap the donation request letters, event fliers and project papers I’m working with. I carry it around with me, and make calls when I have time. We’re always on the go, and busy ourselves with play dates, trips to the zoo, Kindermusik, and activities. I make my best phone calls in the parking lot of the preschool waiting to pick up my older son, while my little one sleeps in the van. Having a home office doesn’t work for me. When I need to tackle really important tasks, I depend on my friends. We’ve worked out a “swap sitting” plan where we depend on one another when we have appointments or just need a few hours to ourselves.  

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m in the springtime of motherhood. My boys are young and are constantly surprising me with silly observations and amazing me with things they’re learning (and teaching me!). I enjoy the new projects I’m working on and everything is fresh and blooming! 

-What season(s) preceded this one? I feel like we hibernated during a very long winter. I had my little ones close together, and there was a long period where I was the momma bear, cuddling up with my babies in a cave, nursing them and protecting them from the cold. Now they’re young boys, full of energy, wanting to run around in the sun! I am constantly chasing them, wondering how to keep up, and watching them grow at warp speed.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I love working with COMEC, and I enjoy making a difference in such a small organization. I plan to get my master’s degree and officially find my way back into the workforce when the kids are both in school. I’d love to figure out what I want to be “when I grow up” to fill out the rest of the seasons. 

Favorite family activity/activities: My husband and I love those weekends where we have no obligations or plans, and we can goof off and play with the kids, do small projects around the house, and just relax. The best times are those spent outside while the kids play at home, riding their bikes, playing in the sand, or running through the sprinkler. I spent Mother’s Day in my backyard playing with a toy golf set, teaching the kids how to hit the ball, and taking cute pics as they ran around the trees and picked leaves for me as gifts. All the while, my husband grilled steaks! It doesn’t get any better than that!

favorite solo activities: I love reading and catching up with friends on the computer, and I’m a sucker for playing word games with my friends on Facebook. I’m a word nerd! I also spend lots of time editing pics and making little movies of my kids on my new Flip camera.   

first name: Tran

age: Very close to 40 

occupation: 

• I have over 15 years of tv news experience. I left a position as anchor/reporter at ABC 24/UPN 30 when my first child was eight months old.
• Freelance television host and producer, currently hosting and co-producing a tv show titled “Traveling with Tots,” set to debut on ABC 24 on June 26 at 6:30 a.m.
• Contributing writer, Family Fun Spots Magazine, “The Go To Mom”

tran shooting a commercial for hormel foods while her kids watch from the stairs.

how do you structure your time and space? The freelance business is very unpredictable. Some weeks are jammed packed with jobs — writing columns or stories, hosting a tv commercial, producing a web video, field producing for a major network, or being interviewed for a story. Some weeks are completely open. I am grateful that my husband is able to provide for us and afford me this opportunity to have quality time with my little ones and still pursue my professional goals. After working crazy hours in the tv news business for more than 15 years, I can fully appreciate this freedom and flexibility and try not to take it for granted.

I’m very much an organizer so I have tons of “to-do” lists, and I carry my paper calendar (not i-phone or Blackberry) with me everywhere. Everything goes in that calendar (play dates, trips, dinner dates, and the planning steps needed for each). I considered getting one for each family member but decided against it because I didn’t want to have to keep up with all of them. I pack, prepare, and lay out everything we need the night before. Since I consider my five-year-old son to be bright and capable, I made him responsible for getting himself ready for school every morning. I put a clothing organizer in his closet and wrote in the days of the week on it so he can dress himself in the mornings, no questions asked. I love, love it! What a time saver for me in the mornings.

I’m finally in a good place with child care. My son goes to school everyday, my daughter, twice a week. I have two great babysitters we trust and adore. I also love using Kid Station, the drop-in child care facility in East Memphis. It was rough with child care in the beginning. I  was always stressed out and scrambling at the last minute to find someone.

It definitely wasn’t easy trying to juggle it all at first. Until a year ago I was also chairing non-profit and networking boards, organizing fundraisers and attending a ton of events. It was a bit overwhelming at times, but eventually I learned to say no and prioritize. I was taking my babies with me to many of these meetings, events, and even freelance jobs. It was time to cut back. I started giving more quality time to friends and family, teaching my children to be more self-sufficient, and choosing to do things that truly give me joy.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Now that my babies are five and two, I feel a little more organized and more rested. We have fun together and even work well together. They are big helpers. It’s so cool to see them growing and changing so much, however, it’s also really tough for me to see my babies become a “big girl” and a “big boy.”

-What season(s) preceded this one? The previous season was a bit stressful. I felt I had to do it all — work, lead, take care of my babies, be involved in the community, socialize, network, et cetera. I thought I had to be Wonder Woman and Supermom.

-What season(s) might your future hold? As my children are spending more time away from me at school, I am spending more time pursuing my other passion — creating a television program for families. “Traveling with Tots” has been in the works for a year and a half now. My partners (who are also parents) and I are ready to take the next step. We don’t know what the future holds, but we are grateful that we have had the opportunity to do this while maintaining quality time with our families.

Favorite family activity/activities: I love doing anything that involves all four members of our family. It’s so great experiencing things together, whether it’s a meal at the dinner table, a play date at the park, or an out of town trip (my favorite was to see the shuttle launch last summer). Even simple things like playing in the backyard together makes me so happy. The kids don’t care what we’re doing, they just like being with their mommy and daddy. 

tran and family enjoy a late-night shuttle launch.

favorite solo activities: When I get some time to myself, even if it’s just for an hour, I just want to sit in front of the tv and watch mindless shows, read magazines at a book store, or surf the net and actually take time to read blogs or stories. I just want to be comfortable and not feel rushed.

sources of inspiration: I draw strength from my husband, Scott. He is such a kind, giving, and thoughtful person. He grounds me, lifts me up and gives me wings.

When I am feeling sorry for myself, I think of my parents. They fled Vietnam with three toddlers during the Fall of Saigon in 1975. They escaped by boat to the United States and started their lives all over with nothing. I will never, ever know what it was like to feel that kind of fear, sadness, hope, relief and freedom. They are remarkable people and I am eternally grateful to them for the life they have given my siblings and me.

best MakeShift moment: I do most of my work at home on the computer so I often send the kids to their playroom and let them do whatever they want — as long as they stay in there. I’ve even put down a big beach towel and packed a picnic so I don’t have to stop and make lunch. They love it!

Rather than buying expensive or ordinary artwork for my son’s bedroom, I bought a blank canvas and some paint at an art supply store and let him create his artwork. His face lit up when I told him what he was going to do, and he was so excited to see it hanging p in his room above his bed.

Toys, movies and coloring books will only keep my kids preoccupied for so long on trips. I like to turn off the radio and spend some time talking with them. I let them make up travel games, we sing songs and I like to play reporter and interview them by asking them lots questions like, “If you could have one superpower, which one would it be?” or “What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?” This may sound silly, but I feel like I’m actually getting to know them better.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process details on the sidebar to your right.]