elizabeth agonized over her decision to return to full-time work in 2010 as a certified financial planner. she feared that her children would not transition well to aftercare, and she was right. seven-year-old A confessed that she “has never felt so lonely in her entire life.” W, age-five, regressed and started wetting his pants at school every day. “we were all grief-stricken,” elizabeth laments.

in her book perfect madness, judith warner describes the silences that fell in her interview groups with mothers because,

“there are things that are sayable and unsayable about motherhood today. it is permissible, for example, to talk a lot about guilt, but not a lot about ambition.” there is an underlying assumption that we “cannot really challenge the american culture of rugged individualism… we lack the most basic notions now of what a different kind of culture might look or feel like” (31-32).

elizabeth broke the silence and confided both her guilt and her ambition to her dear friend angela, a teacher by trade, who was working part-time in addition to the full-time responsibilities of raising her two nine-year-old boys. together, the two hatched a plan that does challenge the american culture of rugged individualism. elizabeth withdrew A and W from aftercare, and angela quit her part-time job to integrate A and W into her family’s weekday life.  

 elizabeth admits that she did not put much stock in the initial chatter about such an arrangement. “how would this mother of two be able to go to three different schools every afternoon, much less herd this group of four children?” she questioned. “i knew i could never do it myself.”

but in december, angela made it clear that she was serious about the idea of caring for A and W. she approached elizabeth with a proposal, and the two talked candidly about fair compensation, day-to-day details, and looming fears. 

“i will always remember sitting in [angela’s] kitchen making this agreement, and the enormous feeling of relief that washed over me,” says elizabeth. “i started to cry; i was so grateful. when angela responded that ‘we are helping each other,’ that really resonated with me. we’ve been helping each other ever since.”

angela describes the process as an easy decision, informed, in part, by her own experience of returning to full-time work when her boys were five years old. “it was tough on them. they would cry and pitch fits whenever they had to go to aftercare. elizabeth’s situation struck a familiar chord,” she explains. “her family was in need, and i was in a position that allowed me to help her. i am very comfortable looking after children!”

on a typical day, angela fetches A from school at 2:45, drives eight to twelve minutes to pick up her boys, S and L from school, and finally makes her way to a third school to pick up W. once her honda accord is packed to the gills, the entourage returns to elizabeth’s house, and the older kids finish their homework. angela uses this time to practice numbers, letters, sounds with W. she even unloads the dishes if they’re clean! all of the children have after-school activities that vary throughout the year. A currently plays soccer soccer on wednesdays and S has basketball on mondays and wednesdays. for a change of scenery, the group gathers at angela’s house on friday afternoons, snow days, holidays, and other vacation days during the school year.

“the kids get along pretty well,” angela muses. “they are like typical brothers and sister. not every day is perfect, but it’s always an adventure! A and L play very well together. W really looks up to S, and S takes being a big-brother-type seriously. he is always talking about W, and he even taught him how to shoot a basketball and jump rope.”

both angela and elizabeth credit the the success  of their arrangement to continued flexibility and open conversation. they have tweaked the details of their partnership as needed. angela recommends this kind of innovation only in cases where “both moms communicate openly and go with the flow. nothing is ever the same twice with this many kids in the mix. everyone is growing and evolving, and i think it’s important to keep this in mind.”

both moms describe the entire collaboration as a MakeShift moment. from impromptu rainy day walks that combat cabin fever, to the occasional depositing of children at elizabeth’s office, the little crew of six is making it all up as they go. 

on collaberative mothering, perhaps elizabeth says it best:

whenever i watch a show on lions or elephants or primates, i get sad.  i see how other creatures nurture their young together. other creatures have not forgotten that it takes a village, a pride, a pod or a pack, to raise young. yet in our “modern” society, we have alienated mothers from each other, and mothering has become quite an isolating experience. having this relationship with angela makes me feel like we, as mothers, are helping each other, the way god intended.  it is such a blessing to me.

[this is the second in a series of guest posts written by jennifer harrison, who was perhaps the only other person in my high school english classes who joined me in gleeful celebration when called up on to diagram sentences. jennifer’s posts will highlight how her vocation as an elementary school teacher informs her parenting, and vice-versa. her bio is located at the conclusion of this post.] 

Milestones in a school year inspire my inner mathematician to make an appearance. As I wrap up my fall parent-teacher conferences, I think back to the number of conferences that I have conducted as the teacher in the parent-teacher duo. I imagine that the number is now close to 500, which is a fairly remarkable number given that I so clearly remember my very first parent teacher conference. I was a young, new teacher, spruced up in a carefully chosen outfit and neatly applied makeup that I hoped would give me more authority than my 21 years commanded.

Things have changed a great deal since those early days of my career, and I naturally see that each of these conferences is much more than an opportunity to put my best sartorial foot forward. These meetings, while not without significant amounts of preparation and planning, are nonetheless a welcome respite from parents’ and teachers’ hectic day-to-day schedules, schedules that hardly afford us the opportunity to sit down as a team and talk about the accomplishments and the needs of young children. Conferences are opportunities for me to connect and collaborate with my students’ first and most important teachers.  

I love watching parents’ faces as I discuss their child. I love it when they lean in a little closer to listen carefully to my description of the child, whom they love so much. It is so exciting to watch their eyes twinkle as I share a funny anecdote about their child or reveal a significant accomplishment or contribution; and I delight in seeing them emphatically nod in agreement as I outline what I believe to be their child’s special and unique talents.

Conversely, I feel rushes of compassion and sympathy when conversations turn toward challenges and frustrations in the classroom. I see that parents so dearly want their children to succeed. This is a goal that I share, one that propels me to communicate in a way that inspires positive action and manageable objectives.

My daughter, Elizabeth, is only 16 months old, so I am not quite at the point where I’ll put on the parent hat during parent-teacher conference time. Yet I often wonder what Elizabeth’s teachers will share with my husband and me as our daughter grows from a toddler to a child to a young woman. What personality traits will emerge as she grows up and learns more about the world around her? Will her unyielding determination to figure out how those stacking cups work turn into a love of geometry? Does the way in which she babbles as she flips the pages of her books mean that we will have an eager, voracious reader on our hands? Is her sunny greeting of “hi, hi” to everyone she meets indicative of a friendly, engaging girl? Is her high-pitched, frustrated wail of toddler-hood a harbinger of a stubborn streak when things don’t go her way?

What will Elizabeth’s teachers say to my husband and me that will make our eyes twinkle, that will prompt us to lean in a little closer?  

 jennifer harrison earned her bachelors and masters degrees at vanderbilt and has taught in public and private schools since 1999. she currently enjoys chicago city life with her ER nurse husband, 16-month-old daughter elizabeth, and dog rowdy. when jennifer is not parenting or teaching, she loves to read, take pictures, travel, and search for the perfect latte.

name: Liz

age: 45

current city: Memphis

living situation: I share the home with a husband, a dog, and two sons: Gus, age seven, and Solly, age two-and-a-half (listed in order of arrival).

occupation: I’m a freelance food, family and travel writer. My regular gigs are blogging at GoWithFamily.com and writing a monthly family food column for Memphis Parent.

how do you structure your time and space? My office space is in a nook between the kitchen and the dining room, which is great when I’m writing about food or cooking from a recipe I’ve gotten off the web but lousy when my desk is messy — which is most of the time — and the kids start fooling around with my stuff. To structure my time, I’ve tried everything from hour-by-hour scheduling (I still have “shower” listed on my iCal daily plan) to caroming intuitively from one task to the next. Right now, what seems to be working is establishing a set of general priorities and making lists. On the top of my list these days is to write for at least a couple of hours and then spend some time managing and promoting my blog.

Then comes home stuff. I’m always motivated by food, much more than by housekeeping, so I usually write a plan for the week so there’s no last-minute shopping and brain-racking. We sit down most nights to a pretty good home-cooked family meal.

However, there’s a part of me that feels uneasy folding clothes or organizing our belongings. I actually think that’s kind of messed up. There’s a toxic stew of self-denial and feminist angst that makes me feel like ironing is retrogressive, time-wasting, and even frivolous, when it’s actually productive and meditative.

I have trouble taking time to meditate, even though I know it enriches me. The best compromise I’ve come up with is running without my iPod, which is pretty close to meditating. In fact, the best thing I can do for myself is simply to monotask — to do what I’m doing without distracting myself with podcasts or Facebook. Sometimes this includes music and other times it’s just quiet. Otherwise, my self-care consists of regular exercise and trying to connect with other people who are also trying to be present, patient, and useful.

Both of my kids go to a school that I love for its community and what my kids learn there–so much beyond the ABCs. After teaching for ten years, I began to question the way conventional schools — even the really good ones — function. I thought about homeschooling when the older one was little, but there’s a reason I have to work on being present, patient and useful. It doesn’t always come easily to me. So homeschooling was out. But I found a school that nurtures their inherent desire to cooperate, learn and grow.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m tempted to say it’s the tired season right now. Having two young kids and being a freelancer is busy and exhausting in a way that’s very different from other tiring, busy times I’ve had in my life. It’s different from the laser-like focus on reading and writing of my grad school days, for example. It’s not all about me.

Taking things a day at a time is important to me whether I’m packing lunches and laundering diapers or trying to pull in a few more readers each day for my blog. But for the most part, my life is the result of my choices, which means that I’ve signed up for both the pluses and the minuses. I have to review that fact periodically so as to remember how lucky I am to have choices.

The highlights are pretty great. I get to do fun stuff with my family — eating, traveling, exploring, playing, reading — and then write about it. My kids try my patience, but that’s how they teach me patience. I get to grow up. And they are lovely, affectionate, original, and so utterly themselves.

-what season(s) preceded this one? There was a waiting season while the adoption of our younger son was processing. But of course waiting wasn’t all we did. You don’t live your life waiting, especially if you already have one bright shiny kid in your lap. So it was also a time of exploration. With just one kid, I was able to volunteer at Gus’s school, at the Farmers’ Market, and take on projects that seemed like they might contribute to the community, even if just in a small way. With two kids, I’ve had to shed most of the extracurricular stuff.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I have mixed feelings about entering the period when my boys will become more independent and I’ll move back into putting more of my energy into my writing, teaching, or community work. (I didn’t have the stamina to teach and raise kids, and am seriously amazed by people who do.) But a friend of mine was reflecting on how she keeps herself in balance, and she said that it was necessary for her to avoid hanging her identity on any one of her roles — mom, worker, wife. Because it’s almost guaranteed that things will change. Well, not even ‘almost,’ in the case of the mom role.

favorite family activities: I love exploring with my kids, biking, hiking, camping, trying new foods, and visiting state parks and weird places no one else ever visits. My husband and I have to compromise, because he’s not so crazy about camping and its discomforts, so we find budget-friendly ways of staying in hotels and cabins. At home we do a lot of lying around and reading.

favorite solo activities: lying around and reading, cooking, eating, knitting, killing plants, and traveling alone (one thing I miss about my single life)

When you travel alone you can stand in front of a picture in a museum for as long as you want, or read a book in a cafe if you like. It’s just a different kind of adventure.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by my grandmother, who co-owned a travel agency in the ‘70s and ‘80s. She traveled by herself to Austria this summer, weeks before her 91st birthday, to go to a friend’s wedding.

Another source of inspiration is my dad, who reinvented himself as a poet and then started a post-retirement career publishing an Edible magazine. He’s got enormous integrity.

best MakeShift moment: The other day when the kids were extra-wild, I bought myself time to cook supper by letting them entwine all of our downstairs furniture in a giant yarn spiderweb. It’s taken me a while to recognize that messes like that don’t matter, especially when they allow me to get something done with the kids nearby.

check out liz’s blogs:

• http://gowithfamily.com
• http://peachesandbuttermilk.blogspot.com/

follow liz on twitter: @GoWithFamily

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Becky Hobson

age: 33

current city: Memphis

living situation: We are the “traditional” family with 2.5 kids (the .5 being our first child – our dog). We don’t have a white picket fence but we do live in the suburbs. My husband, Thomas, and I have been married for eight years (together for 13 years). We have twin five-and-a-half-year-olds, Lauren and Andrew, who have just started kindergarten and are so much fun. Then there is Ella, our nine-year-old cocka-poo, who has lived through many moves and the era of twin toddlers (who now can actually play with her!).

occupation: middle school social studies teacher

how do you structure your time and space? The theme of our marriage would have to be TEAMWORK.  From the beginning, Thomas and I have both worked full-time so we have always split the chores, and now we split the parenting responsibilities as well. I couldn’t manage any aspects of my life without the help that he provides (and I hope he feels the same way). 

Most of my day is spent at school. I teach Economics, American Government, and Social Justice to 88 eighth graders at a Catholic school in Memphis. Despite the fact that this is a relatively new curriculum for me, I try very hard to leave my schoolwork at school. The school where I previously worked put a lot of pressure on us to be on duty 24 hours a day. I checked my email at least three times a night. I brought my computer home and worked on assignments, and (as teachers do) it was all I talked about. I discovered that this was not a life I was willing (or physically able) to live. When I started at my new school I made a promise to myself that the work would stay at school. The result was astounding. I smile now, and have more time for my kids and Thomas. “Hey I remember you!”  Putting myself before my job has made all the difference in my life. 

I grew up in a house with a stay-at-home mom, an always-at-work dad, and a pesky older brother. My mom did everything for us. We came home to an immaculate house with fresh homemade cookies on the counter and plans for a wonderful dinner. She came to all of our school events and volunteered at our activities. Holidays were special times with the house decorated to the hilt. Even pictures on the walls were replaced with holiday pictures. Because I have such fond memories of what that upbringing meant to me, I have a hard time reconciling that with how to do that for my children. I’m not much for making the homemade cookies, so we have scrapped that part. I clean my house on the weekends, but it has becomes a family chore. The kids get to dust (which they enjoy for some strange reason, but whatever), Thomas cleans the bathrooms, and I clean the floors and behind everyone else. Lauren and Andrew even like to help with cooking sometimes. We make do and try to attend as many school events as possible even if we have to take off work. The TEAMWORK thing is the only way we can survive. It works for us.

Our childcare situation is finally in a wonderful place. We no longer pay for full-time childcare for the twins. They started kindergarten at a new public school this fall, and all is well. We have a college student, Jordan, who picks them up at dismissal (since they get out an hour before my I do) and she brings them home. She is a wonderful person and an education major, who also volunteers in a local kindergarten classroom. Thomas picks the kids up if for some reason Jordan can’t do it. Thomas knows it’s harder for me to get away from work than it is for him. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I decided to use Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 to describe my seasons.

We are currently in “a time to laugh.” We are finally through with the tough part of having two babies and finally have little people with real personalities and the ability to do things that we like to do. Thomas and Andrew have discovered the joys of playing Lego Star Wars together on the Playstation. They also like to go fishing and to baseball games. Lauren and I paint her nails and play Barbies, and she loves to draw us pictures. It is great fun to sit at the table at night and hear about what they did at school that day. It is so cool to see them discover information for the first time. “Did you know that an octopus shoots black ink at fish that might attack it?” I feign ignorance so she can tell me all about it. What fun!

The challenges of this season go back to that twin thing. I have a boy and girl, and they develop at such different rates in terms of both maturity and academics. It is really tough not to compare them but you just can’t do that. They also get upset when one tells what the other wanted to share about what happened at school that day. Then there is the hardest part, which includes phrases such as, “why doesn’t she have to study this over and over like I do?” With twins, I cannot simply say, “Because she’s older.”

-what season(s) preceded this one? Before now, we were in “a time to weep.” Looking back, I realize just how hard raising twins was for us at first. I have no idea financially how we were able to survive (other than on credit cards and the kindness of family). Between the children waking us, stress about work and money, and insomnia, we got very little sleep. But we made it through by trying to take care of each other as a family. I have happy memories (many happy memories) to look back on, but I am glad we survived intact.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I hope our future will hold “a time to build.” I know that things will continue to be tough as we try to raise two well-adjusted school-age children,  but I know that together we can build financially stability and strong family and marital bonds. There are a lot of exciting things ahead for the family and I know we will make it fun.

favorite family activities: We love to travel to see family who all live at least eight hours away. We have also discovered the joy of “treasure hunting” as a family. We have gotten in on the Geocaching world and have had fun using our GPS to go hunt for treasure with the kids. We also enjoy going to the zoo.

favorite solo activities: My favorite way to relax and wind down from the day is a nice hot bath and a good book. I have discovered that I love to read. I genuinely love to read! What a novel concept (get it-novel? Okay, so I am corny too). Since Lauren and Andrew were born, I occasionally recharge as a mom by taking 15 minutes to myself to just chill out. These 15 minute periods are my chance to reflect on the day and pray, especially when I am too tired, too frustrated, or too frazzled to read. 

I also like to paint, cross-stitch, and do needlepoint – anything that lets me be creative with my hands. 

source(s) of inspiration: My mom inspires me to give my children the kind of love and happy memories that I gained from my childhood. She worked really hard decorating for holidays, planning fun family things for us to do, and being there for everything. I was really sheltered, but it was during a time in my life when I didn’t really want (or need) to know what else was out there. The other source of inspiration is my friend Melissa.  She lives in the moment and is so laid back about everything involving motherhood (at least it appears that way from the outside). Her children are just a bit older than mine, and she’s sort of like the big sister with advice for age and stage. She finds good solutions to problems and is thrifty. She lets her children be themselves and discover things on their own, but she also provides a soft cushion to fall on if they fail. Despite how much she helps them be individuals, she still is a major part of their lives – making cookies for events, decorating their rooms, coming to school activities. She does all of this and is still a full-time working mom. 

best MakeShift moment: During the times when I have been home alone with twins, I have found that I can only take so much before I have to have some time of my own. The kids’ bedrooms are a safe haven for them, completely child/baby proofed. There were days when I put them in their rooms to play and sat outside in the hallway to have 30 minutes of peace to myself to read a book or just close my eyes. This might seem kind of selfish, but I think needing this kind of quick break is something that is familiar to many us.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Jennifer

age: 37 

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of almost ten years Tom, and our two children, Emma (four years) and Bennett (nine months). 

occupation: Who knew this would be such a tricky question? I was a city school teacher for ten years and resigned when I had my daughter in 2006. I decided to go back to work part-time teaching four-year-olds at our church preschool. It was perfect because I could use my God-given talent for teaching, and I could be at work with my daughter. Unfortunately I think I will be plucked from my stay-at-home-mom status to return to the trenches of full time work. Insert sad face here!

I also make jewelry.

how do you structure your time and space? I guess one of the good things about being a teacher is that my little ones and I get the same time off (holidays). We spend our days  running around town, enjoying play dates,  and playing outside. 

My jewelry studio (the laundry room) is another place I spend time. My daughter loves to “help” me with my jewelry orders. It can be tricky balancing my studio time with my other responsibilities, but my husband is a big help! Our time together and schedule will definitely be changing in the fall if I return to full-time teaching. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Right now I would say we are in a season of winter. In February, my husband learned that he wasn’t fired, but would no longer be receiving a paycheck. Bummer, I know! He is an architect/project manager, and with this economy, people just are not building. It has been a difficult time filled with anxiety and my own sadness about returning to work full-time. We remain faithful that things will work out.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I will call the last season “swinter,”  a combination of summer and winter. It was a season of some amazing highs and some devastating lows. When I was 31 weeks pregnant, I was placed on hospital bed rest. I spent an entire month in a hospital bed away from my daughter and my husband. During that month my husband lost his mother, I lost my grandmother, and our son was born five weeks early. Our son was born on September 23, the birthday of my grandmother who had passed earlier in the week. It was truly a bittersweet day for us. We were able to bring our little man home two weeks later.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I hope our next season is spring. For me, spring is a time of growth and awakening. We are definitely ready for some good vibes to be heading our way!

favorite family activity/activities: We love to be outside! My daughter has tons of energy, so any activity outside is a good one. We love to go on long walks and ice cream runs. Another favorite place for us is the Memphis Zoo.

favorite solo activity: I love to make jewelry! I started a small business two years ago called Love Loud Designs. I specialize in hand-stamped silver jewelry. It makes me so happy to make things for friends and family. It truly is a passion for me. When I can, I also love catching up on my friends’ blogs and discovering new ones. There is so much out there to explore!  I love anything crafty.

source(s) of inspiration: My husband has been a great source of inspiration for me. He has the patience of Job, the heart of a saint, and the integrity of Billy Graham himself!! He believes in my talent as an artist and he supports the decisions I make as a mom.

Another source of inspiration is my Tuesday night moms’ group. These ladies are amazing mothers, friends, and soul sisters! They inspire me to be a better mom, challenge me spiritually, and uplift me when I am down. I couldn’t ask for a better group of friends!

best MakeShift moment: We were on one of our ice cream runs, and my husband and I noticed that the backseat was really quiet.  The backseat is never quiet.  So I turned around and this is what I saw:

What is a mom to do, tell everyone that her child loves to dress up as the incredible hulk? Note: the only reason she is crying is because we told her that the incredible hulk doesn’t eat ice cream!

 find jennifer on the web: 

• facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Love-Loud-Designs/115205171840226?ref=search&v=wall#!blog: www.lovelouddesigns-jennifer.blogspot.com
• etsy store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/lovelouddesigns

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name:Amie

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in a cute house in midtown Memphis with my husband Eric and our two kids.  Phoebe is five and Frankie is two.

occupation: I teach Senior Kindergarten and just finished my first kids’ craft book, so I think I may be an author too!

Sewing School, published by Storey Books, will be on the shelves this fall.

how do you structure your time and space? Oh boy, this is the hard part – finding the balance between work, writing, family, play, household chores, and crafting. I work full-time and my youngest is at daycare while the five-year-old goes to the school where I teach. Weekdays are pretty hectic and normal. We go to work/school, come home by 5:00 p.m., eat dinner, play for about thirty minutes, and then get ready for bed. After that, I have about two hours of “me time,” which usually entails Eric and me sitting on the couch, watching bad TV, and gearing up for the next day. This is also the time I might do some crafting or catch up on work. 

The weekends are when we really have fun. Eric and I try to give the kids some great experiences and expose them to ideas and activities that mean a lot to us such as the Farmers Market, museums, baseball games, gardening, nature hikes, cooking together, garage sales, and live music.  During nap time, I get busy and use my two hours to craft and work on projects. It’s amazing that when you know you only have a short amount of time, you can make it happen. Eric and I also trade off time with the kids to make room for our own creative pursuits. We definitely have to prioritize our lives. My craft room is a perpetual mess, and I have usually forgotten to do about a million things, but we are happy!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Recently, Sewing School, the children’s sewing book I co-wrote, has consumed me. This has been the season of “figuring it all out” for me — figuring out how to write a book in the first place; figuring out how to still be a mom, teacher, and now author; figuring out how to find ever-important time for myself; and figuring out how to give my kids what they need in order to be the kind of people I want them to be.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I was in the “I think I’m getting it!” season before I decided to write the book. I was getting how to be a mom and teacher, getting how to create interesting and creative experiences for my kids, and getting how to create sewing patterns for children (which then led to the book and my current craziness!).

-what season(s) might your future hold? I guess I’ll re-enter the “I think I’m getting it!” season again. Looking back, I realize that this seems to be my norm. I try something new, which turns everything upside down, and then finally “get it” before heading off on the next tangent. 

favorite family activity/activities: Right now, we all look forward to the local farmers market on Saturday mornings. And Eric’s Sunday morning pancakes are a family ritual. Everyone gets involved and helps him cook.

favorite solo activity: Sewing, definitely. I like to sew for my kids and myself and create new sewing patterns for children.

Source(s) of inspiration: I am lucky to work in such an amazing environment at my school. I work with a lot of working moms – moms who offer me advice, share stories, and sympathize with me. Without my workplace family, I would be a mess. I am also a big fan of craft blogs – some of my favorites are linked on my blog, http://sewingschool.blogspot.com. The Sewing School blog documents and shares ideas for sewing and crafting with kids as well as highlights some of my own crafting and family adventures.

Best MakeShift moment: I don’t think I’ve had my ultimate MakeShift moment yet. I’m sure it’s on the horizon, though!

I do my best to offer my kids some tools and ideas to promote independence and creativity. In the kitchen, the kids have a low drawer filled with their own cups, bowls, and plates. I also have some snacks (goldfish, pretzels, et cetera) that they can fix for themselves. While it doesn’t always work, it does keep me from making a million snacks a day!  We also have a great craft area set up for the kids with crayons, markers, paper, scissors, tape, and little recyclable containers and lids. Everything they can use is at their reach. I keep paints and glue high up so that I can control the mess. 

Recently, I helped Phoebe to wash all of her dress-up clothes outside. They were super dirty and needed some TLC. I was afraid that some of the fabric would not make it through the washer, so I got out a bucket with soapy water and she went to work! We hung them on the clothesline.  While she scrubbed away, I got some important weeding done in the garden. She had a blast and now her dress-up clothes are clean and smell fresh. 

find amie on the web:

• amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sewing-School-Hand-Sewing-Projects-Kids/dp/1603425780/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274385967&sr=8-3
• blog: http://sewingschool.blogspot.com

name: Martha Young

age: 66

current city: Memphis

living situation: My dog, Sawyer, my cat, Kitty, and I are the current occupants of our home. Emily, my soon-to-be twenty-year-old daughter will be in and out for the summer. She is a junior at Mississippi State in Starkville. I have a total of three children. Emily’s brothers are Chris (42), who lives in Manhattan Beach, CA, and Roger (40), who resides in St. Petersburg, FL. I am thrilled to have six grandchildren, ranging from ages eight to eleven months. I am a  single mom and grandmother. When my boys were little, the dad was in the house. He was not a “hands on dad.”

occupation: I am a first grade teacher. I love first graders. When they start losing their teeth, they are just about at the best age there is. The  toothless smile of a first grader is a thing of beauty. They love their moms, dads, teachers, and pets. They are potty trained and will not have to be taught to drive for years. You generally know where they are at all times, which is a good thing. They still love to hear a good story, and can usually tell one. They are so ready to learn and share. When they grow up and leave home, it’s not the teenager you miss, it’s the first grader.   

how do you structure your time and space? To say that I structure my time might be a stretch. If you have read about Jill (my daughter-in-law), a previously featured “mother of invention,” you read about structure. That is called the gene pool trying to correct itself. The main structure in my life is comes from my job, teaching first grade. You might say that I am structured on a first grade level. We have a schedule to follow in school, and I try to stick to it. We work in the mornings in a structured format, and do our less structured activities in the afternoon. It’s like eating your vegetables before dessert. On weekends I tend to work the same way. I go running early, do my chores, and do the really fun stuff in the afternoon.

My schedule has definitely changed since my children were launched. I used to wonder how moms with three children took all their children where they needed to go. Two, even back then, was difficult. That’s why God, in his infinite wisdom, gave me three children, but not all in the house at the same time. The older two were in, and just out of college when Emily was born. As a matter of fact, I missed Chris’s college graduation because Emily was due that day.

Since I no longer have to drive someone to a sports event in the afternoons or prepare a meal, I am able to jog in the afternoons after school, if time permits. While children were at home, I ran early before school, many days. I found that if I didn’t run early, something would come up to prevent it from happening. Now I run after school and do very little in the way of homemaking in the evening. I save all the chores for Saturday. That is a euphemism for not doing anything at night. After teaching and running, I am ready to do nothing but read, relax, and watch TV. And, especially after the time changes in the spring, I have found that if I don’t go to bed right after dark, I am behind schedule for the next day and tired. (I have to get my jabs in against daylight savings time.) 

My grandchildren all live elsewhere, so I am always on vacation when I am with them. That makes holidays really special.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? What season(s) preceded this one? What season(s) might your future hold? Well, I guess I am in fall. I think I had an extra long summer, having the twenty year gap between children. I would like for fall to last forever and not ever go into winter. That is my plan. The challenges of being in fall are that I like summer activities best. I love being on this earth and don’t ever want to leave it. I like being outside and being physically active.

Favorite family activity/activities: My favorite large-group family activity is being with them at the beach. Our week in Destin, FL is my favorite of the entire year.

When Emily and I were the immediate family occupying the home, we painted everything we touched. I don’t think that there is a square inch of this house that has not been painted. We even painted a mural in our garage. On December 21, or the winter solstice, the sun hits the big red sun on the east wall and lights up the garage with an aura of red. We call it the “miracle in the garage”.

favorite solo activities: I love to run. I imagine stories while I run, such as spending lottery money. I especially like long distances. I also continue to paint. On our recent snow days, I painted three pieces of furniture white. The ceilings have never been done but that will be so boring.

sources of inspiration: the Sunday services at Idlewild Presbyterian Church;  being outside in the late afternoon; watching the street lights turn on in the early evening

best MakeShift moment: My MakeShift moment would have to be an incident involving a jogging stroller and a garage sale when Emily and I were living  in Miami. When Emily was a baby, I had no one to watch her when I ran. I was ecstatic when she was old enough to ride in the running stroller, which was my prized possession. I got the stroller out during our garage sale so that Emily would have a place to sit, but much to my dismay, a neighbor sat in it and rendered it unrideable. I went into a panic, shut down the sale at 9:30 a.m.,  and told people it was over. (This was not a popular thing to do since I was selling many of  my ex-husband’s things at a very good price!) I packed Emily in the car and drove straight to the local running store. Mastercard enabled me to purchase the $300.00 model already assembled.

Jogging with Emily in the stroller was always its own MakeShift moment. To keep her happily engaged, I let her spread containers of baby powder through the streets of  Miami on more than one jog.

 [if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process details on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Jessica

age: 36

occupation: 

• Teacher on a looong sabbatical
• Full-time mom and housekeeper
• Part-time student, studying for my English as a Second Language (ESL) endorsement
• Part-time employee of The New Teacher Project  (TNTP) as Lead Selector with Memphis Teaching Fellows, selecting candidates for an alternate certification program and placement in the Memphis City Schools

how do you structure your time and space? Because my work is part-time and mostly on Saturdays, and my kids are now both in school every day, I have a lot of my weekdays free to take care of “my stuff.” I spend part of every day exercising (running, stretching/yoga, boot camp, walking), keeping house (laundry, laundry, laundry), reading/studying/writing papers, and running errands/preparing menus and meals. My “office” is my kitchen counter. I have struggled a bit with using my time wisely so that I am not overwhelmed when a deadline is looming, but I am starting to get the hang of it. My goal is that I do not have to do any of my schoolwork and very little housework once the kids and husband get home so our evenings and weekends are free for family activities. About half of the time I meet that goal.

 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlight of my current season is having so much time to myself. The challenge is using this time wisely and staying mindful of how important this time is. I don’t know when or if I will ever have this kind of time again to read, garden, study, and have lunch with friends. I am trying to get as much enjoyment as possible out of this season. I sort of look at this as my retirement time. Soon, I will go back to work full-time. Some days it is hard to face a full day at home alone, but I am learning to be thankful every day for time to just sit in quiet if I want to.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season preceding this one was definitely not quiet. It was one of noise and song and laughter and tears. I spent about five years with my babies/children at home full-time and several more with part-time preschool. It was hard sometimes, but now that it is over, I realize how short that time was. Before having Lillian, I was a full-time teacher in a middle school in North Memphis. I loved it, and it was a more difficult decision to stop teaching than I had ever thought it would be.

-What season(s) might your future hold? My future definitely holds another season of teaching, either part-time or full-time. I am working on my ESL endorsement because it is something that has always interested me and there are more opportunities in this field for part-time work than with regular classroom teaching. I am torn, though. I love teaching middle school Language Arts (I know, I’m crazy). But, I have another year of courses and I’m looking at increased part-time work with TNTP in the coming year. So, no matter what happens, the next season will be busier, with less time for myself. 

favorite family activity/activities: walking the kids to school together, walking in our neighborhood and through the old forest of Overton Park, being at the beach, riding bikes, listening to music at the Levitt Shell, camping, traveling, playing games, reading together, and enjoying homemade pizza and movie nights

favorite solo activities: running, reading, drawing, cooking, baking bread and other goodies, gardening

sources of inspiration: my husband and kids, my parents and sister, my dear friends, my Dream Group, music, and nature

 

best MakeShift moment: As several other “mothers of invention” have noted, bath time is full of great makeshift moments. My kids’ tub time has often given me the opportunity to talk to them the whole time while clean the rest of the bathroom. Bath Time was always alphabet time when the kids were younger. We had foam bath letters, and we made a game of identifying the letters and/or making words with them. Or, I would read the newspaper to them (and me!) while they were bathing. Now that my kids are getting older and my daughter takes showers by herself, I don’t get as much of that time. But, I do still put little Charlie to work while he is in the bathtub. I give him a little baking soda, he makes a paste, and cleans the tiles within his reach while I clean the rest of the bathroom. He has a ball, and I get a clean bathroom. Win-win makeshift moment.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Emma

age: 31