name: Jennifer McCullough

age: 33

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my four-year-old son, one fish, and one dog. We are currently living in a downtown condo while we try to sell our house. Living in two places is a comedy of errors.

occupation: mom; chef; and business owner of The Uptown Grocer, purveyor of upscale frozen meals.

how do you structure your time and space? I work out of the kitchen at Cafe Society Restaurant in midtown. It is just a two-minute drive to my son’s school, which allows me to maximize parenting time and working time. I pack a bag with running shoes and try to take a break at some point to get some exercise. Usually this is on “meatloaf day.” The loaves take exactly 55 minutes to cook, which gives me just enough time to do a wardrobe change, take a jog, get back into work clothes, and take those yummy meatloaves out of the oven. 

My son spends time with his father as well, but at times this has been a bit of a struggle because his father doesn’t live in Memphis. But we do our best to work with each other’s schedules so that my son has quality time with both parents. My parents are in town and take my son any time I am willing to part with him. I am very fortunate to have their support!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Being a single mom comes with its fair share of challenges. I often feel like one person trying to be two people, and I have to accomplish so much more when my child is at school (work, exercise, errands, et cetera). For example, if I run out of milk, I cannot simply make a quick solo trip to the grocery.

I have had to overcome a good bit of guilt when it comes to making time for myself. I frequently have to assure myself that exercising and doing other things to maintain my health and sanity are necessary, even if it means that I do these things while my son is at school or in another’s care.

In general, I am doing things differently than the way I always thought I would be doing them. For example, after months of thinking that my son needed to live in a house with a yard and in a neighborhood, I realized that the simplicity of condo-living is really much better for us. I had to say goodbye to the life I thought I would be living in order to fully live the one I’ve got. Now my son and I like to ride the downtown trolley to dinner. My son’s childhood is not like mine was but I have realized that no one way is better than the other. They’re just different.

-what season(s) preceded this one? The last five years have brought about a lot of changes: divorce, health issues, and two moves. I spent much of this time in survival mode, reacting to life’s circumstances. Starting my own business was my first step in becoming more proactive about my life. I did a lot of thinking about my talents and a path that might allow me to have both a fulfilling career and an active role in my son’s life.

Starting the Uptown Grocer was a gigantic leap of faith for me. In the beginning, I cooked and delivered weekly meals to my customers. There were some nights when I cooked from my son’s bedtime until 3:00 in the morning. This was miserable! But I kept moving forward and resisting the temptation to become paralyzed. Even when decisions led to dead ends, I learned to put my focus elsewhere and keep moving along in hopes that a door would open and I would have a creative moment.

I have now shifted to a much more sensible business model. I stock a freezer at Palladio Antiques and Art  full of my food, and my customers can shop there for their meals. I have just recently begun to reap the rewards that come with making deliberate choices.

-what season(s) might your future hold? In the months ahead, I plan to continue scaling down my commitments and making choices based on what’s right for my son and me. I am beginning to trust my instincts and feel confident in my decisions. I love being a chef and business owner, and I can see now that I am in the right place. I am laying the groundwork for a more peaceful, more fulfilling, and simpler life. I am ready to reap the rewards.  

favorite family activities: My favorite time with my son is right before bed. Before I tuck him in, he will often tell me things that hapened during his day, and these are really sweet moments. During the day, we move at a fast pace and we’re on the go. It’s nice to have this quieter time when there’s a lot of intimacy in our relationship. These are my favorite times with him.

favorite solo activities: I love to run. I also like being in the car by myself with complete quiet. We go so fast, and things are so hectic. Sometimes I will sit down by myself, and I’ll realize later that I forgot to even turn the light on!

source(s) of inspiration: Before I started my business, I gained a lot of inspiration from reading. I have found books by Deepak Chopra to be helpful, as well as other literature about simplifying life and letting go of things that don’t matter. I am currently reading The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life by Emmet Fox, and I love it!

best MakeShift moment: One of my MakeShift habits is to drive through McDonalds and buy enough milk to last us until I can get to the grocery store.

My son dresses himself, and a lot of times his ensembles look really bad. But this is all part of allowing myself to let go. I only have so much brain space, and I have had to decide what matters and what doesn’t. A lot of thing that would have bothered me ten years ago aren’t even on my radar now.

Perhaps my most recent MakeShift moment was when I spaced out and remembered “back to school night” at my son’s school only a couple of hours before it was to begin. I had no childcare lined up, and I had previously promised to go goldfish shopping with my son that evening. I desperately called a sitter, who was (thank goodness) willing to meet us at the pet store. After the fish selection, the four of us (myself, my son, the sitter, and the fish) went out to dinner. I really wanted to spend that time with my son, and I knew that having dinner with him would only prohibit me from attending the first part of “back to school night,” the part where I would be apt to eagerly volunteer for tasks that my schedule unfortunately will not allow. After dinner, I was able to be present for the second part of the meeting — the part where I saw my son’s classroom, met his teachers, and signed up to help with holiday parties (short volunteer commitments that increase the time spent with my son). It was a whirlwind of an evening but everything worked out great. My son got his fish, we had a lovely dinner, I was present at the meeting, and I kept sigh of what’s important.

jennifer invites memphians to the grand opening of the uptown grocer, this friday afternoon, october 15th, from 11:30-2:30 at cafe palladio (corner of cooper and central). sample jennifer’s chicken tetrazzini and cinnimon apple bread pudding with caramel, and enter to win one of four free uptown grocer gift certificates. 

• find jennifer on the web at http://www.theuptowngrocer.com/ 
• follow on twitter: @theuptowngrocer

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Jenni

age: 29

occupation: Market Manager

how do you structure your time and space? My working hours are typically 8:00 to 5:30, and have to close two days a week, which puts me home around 7:00 p.m. Of the days when I close, my mom gets Noah one evening, and I have a pair of wonderful babysitters who get him the other night. I also work two Saturdays a month from 8:00 to 5:00 and have one of my fabulous sitters on that day.  

Our house is messy (but not dirty) and has all the regular clutter of a three-year-old. A tricycle, a train set and Legos all are on the living room floor as I type this. On a typical night, Noah goes to bed at 7:30 (he doesn’t necessarily go to sleep but he is in bed with books and bunnies by that time), and I have a few hours to myself. I am going back to school to get my MBA online, so I do homework and watch TV until my bedtime. 

Until 7:30, I try to be as “in the moment” as possible, since I don’t have as much time with Noah as I would like. With the days getting longer and the weather getting nicer, we usually eat dinner on the front porch to take advantage of the sunshine and avoid the TV. Noah is allergic to practically everything (peanuts, milk, eggs, soy and wheat) so we currently subsist almost entirely on a diet of chicken nuggets and peaches. This makes dinner time easy. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? We are currently in summer at my house. We are finally getting more time to spend together, enjoying longer days to play outside, and relaxing with fewer schedules to keep. Noah loves to be outside (he might live out there if no bugs were around!) so he is having so much fun right now. There is a park just down the street from our house, and we try to go there at least once or twice a week. Since I started back to school, I am feeling the pinch of not having enough time to do everything. The rule at our house is that if something isn’t going to hurt us or someone else, we don’t fight about it. Life is too short so we pick our battles. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? We were in winter before moving back to Memphis in November. I worked about 70 hours a week at my old job, and Noah was in daycare at least 60 hours a week. It has always just been the two of us, but I had a great network of babysitters and friends there to call on. Even so, I was always tired and depressed from working at a job I no longer enjoyed and one that took me away from my son so much. I began looking for a new job that would facilitate my relocation to Memphis to be close to my family. Obviously, the job market is rather bleak right now, but I was connected with my current company through a wonderful woman at my home church.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I think we are headed into fall. New and exciting things are happening for both of us. With my going back to school and Noah’s learning so much every day (including potty training, which I thought would never happen), it feels like the beginning of a new semester. I am working to figure out how to make time for everything (including myself), and I feel like I am trying to find my way around campus all over again.

favorite family activity/activities: playing on the playground, taking nature walks, finding pretty flowers to smell, and watching movies (currently the Toy Story series is our favorite). We also love going to the zoo and to ballgames.

favorite solo activities: drinking wine, watching TV, reading, napping, hanging out with friends, especially at restaurants I can’t go to with a child. (I know that’s not solo but it is a non-Mommy activity.)

sources of inspiration: My mom is definitely a big inspiration to me. She was a single mom when I was younger until we met her wonderful husband, and she understands what I am going through. Sometimes we drive each other crazy but that unconditional love is still there. Likewise, I want Noah to know that he can always come to me so we can work through things together, even when he knows I will be upset.

best MakeShift moment: Our life is one big makeshift moment. I tried to think of one that I was not too embarrassed to admit (unlike the fact that my three-year-old still sleeps in a crib because he doesn’t know he could climb out, and I like having him contained to prevent arguments that involve words like, “no you can’t play in your playroom right now…go back to bed”). Or the fact that my mom taught him to “Cheers,” and he knows you only do that with a wine glass and likes to do it a billion times if we go out to dinner and someone has wine.

I came up with the day I taught him which button to push on his DVD player so he can change the DVD as many times as he wants when we travel, and I don’t have to pull over. He knows how to skip commercials (previews) and push the “circle button” to start it when the menu comes on. It made our many six-plus-hour trips from Chattanooga to Memphis more bearable.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]