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Posts Tagged ‘phD’

mothers of invention: jessa

Monday, March 29th, 2010

[for a chance to win “the billboard bag,” check out saturday’s post… now on to today’s main event!]

first name: Jessa

age: 31

current city:  Denver, CO

living situation: I share a teeny student apartment with my husband, Eric, and our sweet sons, Eli (two and a half) and Amos (seven months).

occupation: Website & Newsletter Designer and more recently, a barely-professional crafter

how do you structure your time and space? Many of our days end up structured like this: We have a kid-centered activity in the morning, be it a play date, a trip to the Children’s Museum or the park, et cetera. Then we lunch and Eli naps around one. Amos’ nap schedule is loose, but we try for substantial naps in the morning and afternoon. Eli will often sleep until five (FIVE!) p.m. Then we have an evening of play and dinner before the boys hit the hay around seven. Many nights I’m on my own to do dinner and bedtimes. After seven, I take the time to relax, work, craft, and commune with the hubby.

I keep perpetual to-do lists going of house stuff, job stuff, and craft stuff, and I tend to these lists in fits and starts throughout the day. If things line up well enough that the boys snooze simultaneously, I rush to my sewing machine and craft feverishly until smoke rises from us both.

On Wednesday and Friday mornings, Eli has preschool from 9:00 – 2:30. I dedicate these days to whatever feels most pressing to me at the time. Sometimes I work. Sometimes I craft. Sometimes I clean. Sometimes I visit with friends. But I am always reminded on these days how much easier it is to just have one child in my charge.

I work from home, so figuring out when to do what can be tricky. I have some set deadlines that provide a little structure, and then I go to my to-do lists and try to knock out one item each day. I pick the to-do to be done by using one of two factors:

  1. Which one is most pressing?
  2. Which one can be done fastest and with least effort?

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Highlights are many. The days are lovely with baby snuggles and toddler humor. Often, I feel so lucky that this is my job – to goof off with my boys. I love that I have time to be crafty and that I have perfect subjects for my crafting ventures. Since in past seasons I felt a sense of mastery in my job as a potter, I’m happy that I can feel that same sense of skill and accomplishment as a mama and through my creative dabblings.

It’s also a highlight that I’m finding time and ways to care for myself. Eric is so willing and happy to give me time away when he can. So I get to go to movies or out with friends pretty frequently. I also recently planned a gals’ long weekend called “LadyFest” so that my best lady friends and I could be refreshed and revitalized by each other. LadyFest will be an annual event!

Time management is a challenge in this season since our lives are not very structured. Also, hauling two kids, their gear, and the things we’ve acquired on our errands up to our third floor walk-up is quite a feat. Finally, since much of my time is spent doing fun stuff, I often get in a rut of telling myself that I “should” be doing more. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. I have a great title to the book I’m going to write about this problem:

Get a Grip: Stop Shoulding All Over Yourself!

 I try to remind myself that just being me, and being a mama, is enough. In fact, it’s pretty awesome.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season previous to motherhood was the season of Decker-Smith Pottery. I was a potter with a surprisingly successful wholesale business, and I provided pottery to galleries across the U.S. It was a season of purpose, pride, a lot of work, some self-doubt, and a beloved craft.

I loved being a potter and I miss it tremendously. It is a major part of my identity that is on hold at the moment. But I really am glad it is. For my first pregnancy I worked like a dog. I worked 14 hour days regularly, hunching behind my wheel or standing all day glazing. I fired kilns for 16 hours. I even unloaded a kiln while I was in labor, before I went to the hospital. After Eli was born I never allowed myself to rest because there were always pots to make. For the first year of his life, somehow, I did all this work with him in tow. Looking back, it was exhausting and foolish, and the costs were not worth the benefits. Now that my second son is an infant, I am thankful to be free of the constant pressure of running my own business. I can slow down, let myself relax, enjoy my boys, and happily devote time to just being their mama.  

-What season(s) might your future hold? The season on the horizon involves selling my crafty wares. I just opened my Etsy shop, Happily Home Sewn, to peddle the items I make. I think this will be a more manageable way to work as a crafter then running Decker-Smith Pottery was because I will be able to make what I want, offer it on my etsy shop, and see what happens. I won’t have huge gallery orders and deadlines hanging over me all the time.

I don’t anticipate this season bringing many additional challenges. It will require a season of research and development to learn how to make a successful etsy shop. But, as far as putting more on my plate – well, I’m already perpetually crafting, so I think this will feel like a manageable shift.

 I anticipate the seasons will shift again in a few years when Eric completes his PhD. I look forward to this season because we will have him around more and we will have more time for family. I think he will feel much more relaxed and less stressed. There may also be job changes and a move in this season. 

favorite family activities: playdates with our buddies, eating out together, taking the boys to the movies, family trips (especially to the beach), walking around campus where we live (Our favorite spots are the fish pond and very cool trees for climbing, playing under, and collecting buckeyes.), crafting with the boys, gymnastics class, sporting events

favorite solo activities: MOVIES. I’m a movie addict. They don’t even have to be quality flicks. I’m in; Hanging with girlfriends; Being crafty.

sources of inspiration: funky shops (especially fabric and craft shops), taking sewing classes, crafty books, mama/crafty blogs, and my boys! Also, my mom (Yaya) is the queen of making something fun from nothing. One of Eli’s favorite spots on campus is the “Yaya Tree” where she kept him entertained for hours one day. She taught him about walking sticks and moss furniture and pine needle buildings. I want to be like that.

best MakeShift moment: My entire attempt to continue being a potter after Eli was born was a makeshift moment. In my home studio a Johnny Jumper hung from the ceiling in front of my wheel. At the co-op where I glazed and fired (where Eli and I spent 16 hour days working) I set up a mini nursery for him complete with areas to play, eat, and sleep. I wore him on my body in a variety of slings and packs. We just made it work.

I have to makeshift a lot in our tiny apartment so we don’t get cabin fever. We walk somewhere nearly every day and have found many nearby places to keep us entertained. We use the campus like our own big back yard and have regular adventures there.

It has recently occurred to me that my white board is a great example of a Make-shifting. I got it just after Amos was born because my postpartum brain is scattered and quick. So I used it to write down stuff before it left my brain. The makeshift moment that happens there is never pre-meditated. My white board has become the ultimate happy distraction. I discovered this power when my son was having a post-nap-still-groggy-inconsolable freakout. I was carrying him around the house nearing my wits’ end, when I walked past the white board and started drawing vehicles. I narrated while I drew and he was mesmerized and calmed. Now we draw something on there for every holiday, friend visit, special day, or heck, Tuesday.

Also, one day Eli got into the big bag o’ birdseed in the kitchen. So I dragged it out on the porch and let him fill the bird feeder. It took the mess out of my kitchen and onto the porch. It kept him happily occupied for a ridiculously long time. It gave us an opportunity to talk about what a nice thing it is to help animals and how happy it was going to make the birds and he even likes to sweep the seed off the porch when he’s done! Now, our budding St. Francis does this about twice the week, including, coincidentally, right now as I answer this questionnaire!

find jessa on the web at

  • Family Blog: www.ericandjessa.blogspot.com
  • Pottery Business Website: www.deckersmithpottery.com
  • New Crafty Blog: http://happilyhomesewn.blogspot.com/
  • Etsy Shop: http://www.etsy.com/shop/HappilyHomeSewn

[the photo of jessa pottery was taken by tim barnwell.]

Tags:campus, crafting, jessa, movies, phD, potter, should
Posted in mothers of invention | 3 Comments »

mothers of invention: anne

Monday, March 8th, 2010

first name: Anne

age: 44 

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in Memphis with my husband and two daughters, who are 10 and 12. My 20-year old son is at the University of Michigan. He comes home for winter, spring and summer breaks, and I miss him like crazy the rest of the time.

occupation: Pediatric Occupational Therapist

how do you structure your time and space? Currently, I work full-time as a therapist for the school system. My husband and I share taking the girls to school in the mornings, and we’ve hired a college student to pick them up from school four days a week. I’m usually home Monday through Thursday by 4:00 or 4:30, at which point all of the homework is finished and time permitting, the dishwasher is empty and a load of laundry has been done! I love picking up the girls up on Fridays. We usually go out for ice cream or cup cakes or some sort of delicious, unhealthy snack.

The only part of home-making that I get credit for is cooking, emptying the dishwasher, gardening and pitching in on paying for the housekeeper. As long as I can work enough to help cover the bill, I’m going to keep that up! As far as recreation, I try to force myself to exercise, which I absolutely despise. I convince myself to occasionally walk or get on the elliptical by remembering that I want to be around for my children and grandchildren. My favorite recreation is to hang out with my husband and kids in the evenings, talk about our day, and maybe even have a glass wine (only the parents, not the kids!).

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The most recent adjustment for me has been going back to work full-time. Financially, this job is making a huge difference in our ability to pay for our son’s college and save for our daughters’ future college tuition. Yet, I struggle with guilt, because I would like to be able to pick the girls up from school every day, drive on the field trips, and be more involved in the PTA, et cetera. My youngest daughter, Hanna, frequently asks, “Can you pick me up today?” or “Can you drive on this field trip?” This leaves me feeling 2-inches tall. On the positive side, my job is fun, the hours are great, and you can’t beat being off work for fall, Christmas, spring and summer breaks!

-what season(s) preceded this one? I just completed my Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, which I worked on part-time over an 8-year period. I was employed part-time as a therapist and did mommy duty. As stressful as it sounds, this was a wonderful time in my life because I made my own schedule, and even though school was stressful, I absolutely loved all my classes and learning. I also loved the challenge of fitting work and study time in between the hours of parents’ day out, preschool and eventually elementary school! The really tough part didn’t come until the last year…the dreaded dissertation. I think that part was harder on my husband that anyone else. He couldn’t stand that my head was always in a book or a computer. But those days are over now! I know he’s glad.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Currently I’m in the process of writing a parenting book. My goal is to bring in enough money from other projects such as this so that I can go back to working part-time as a therapist. Ideally, I’d like to work as an Occupational Therapist three days a week. I’m also interested in starting an educational program for young unwed mothers in the Memphis/Midsouth area that educates them on the importance of prenatal care and basic parenting techniques. Because the Memphis area has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country, I believe that a program like this has the potential to really make a difference.

favorite family activity: What’s most important to me is spending time with my husband and children. I’d rather work during the day when my kids are in school and pay someone to take care of the housework, so that from 4:30 on (as well as weekends) I’m free to have more quality family time. We enjoy cooking, porch sitting, playing cards and board games and watching our favorite TV shows together.

favorite solo activity: I love hanging out at coffee shops, reading, sewing, pondering, painting and gardening.

sources of inspiration: books, good quotes, Fridays, friends, love.

best MakeShift moment: My youngest daughter, Hanna, has an odd obsession with injuries. Over the years, she’s feigned a variety of boo boos including sprained ankles, fingers, and the like. As a result, we have a collection of ace bandages, finger splints, and even an old pair of crutches from a foot injury that not-so-coincidentally occurred after Santa brought a toy cast and pair of crutches to her American Girl Doll.

Recently, Hanna claimed that she hurt her wrist during gymnastics. I inspected the injury site and there was no sign of redness or swelling, just her familiar dramatic cries of “ouch” when I touched it. Our wrist splint was worn out, so being the good therapist that I am, I decided to repair it. I used splinting material to touch it up and make a new support bar. As is typical, Hanna continued to complain over the following days but I was surprised when she reported to be in too much pain for her next gymnastics class. We headed straight to an orthopedic doctor, who subsequently informed us that she had a small fracture on the growth plate in her wrist!

As I was sitting there feeling like a totally horrible mother, he told us that she would need to wear a cast for at least 4 weeks. Then he picked up the makeshift splint that she’d been wearing, looked it over carefully, cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Hanna, have you been wearing this since you hurt your wrist?” She nodded and informed him that the splint was broken, and her mom had fixed it. I sunk a little in my seat. The doctor smiled and said, “I like this splint. I like the support. Hanna, I’ll give you one week’s credit for wearing this. You only have to wear the cast for three weeks.” Then he winked at me. I couldn’t believe it. Did he really believe that the splint had given her wrist enough support? His saying so sure made me feel better…that along with the fact that an incredibly cute, young doctor had winked at me!

if you or someone you know would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the sidebar to your right for pages about the nomination process.

Tags:adult children, anne, kids, occupational therapist, phD
Posted in mothers of invention | 2 Comments »

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