first name: Kathi

age: 38 (ouch!)

current city: Hermosa Beach, CA

living situation: I live with my husband, Sean, our four year old daughter, and our two year old son.

occupation: I am what Mary Allison calls “a part-time hybrid mother.” I work full time for my family and part time out in the world as a designer.

how do you structure your time and space? I see the balance challenge as two different ventures. There is the mental balance and the actual logistical balance. The two are intertwined of course, but it is easier to answer this question if I separate them.

The mental side of this equation is the hardest for me. When I am not with the kids physically, I think about them and want to be with them. When I am with the kids physically, I am thinking about what I will accomplish next time I have some “coverage.” It was this way when I worked 40+ hours per week and it is this way now that I work part time. I am not sure if it is innovative or creative, but I am a firm believer in my mommy natural cocktail to help with the mental balance and focus. A morning dosage of peppermint essential oil under the nose forces me to wake up and start the day with a deep breath, mid-morning and afternoon shots of the amino acid L-Theanine really keep my head above ground, and an evening serving of melatonin helps to get me to sleep early. This is a formula that really helps me along with a decent amount of protein and a dash or so of caffeine.

Regarding the logistical balance, until December of ‘09, I worked more than full time outside of the home as a marketing consultant. So for the first four years of motherhood, the balance was entirely different than it has been for the last six months. We now have a nanny who comes ten to eighteen hours per week, depending on my needs and deadlines. I use those hours now to work part-time as a designer and writer. For the last five months I have been working in my home office to design a line of children’s clothing. I blog about these design escapades and my journey of “owning my own motherhood” at www.semi-handmade.com .

The one approach that I use that could seem a little innovative, is that I try not to spend any time away from my kids (while using any sort of paid help) doing something that someone else could do just as well. I’ve had my nanny run one last errand, address envelopes, iron seams, cut patterns, et cetera while I take over with the kiddos.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlights of my current season are definitely the increased quantity and quality of hours I am able to spend with my kiddos. I am savoring the sweetness of this stage in our lives before the kids are both in school more. I am ever so grateful to be away from the corporate world for a while to enjoy being an integral part of the things they are learning and exploring, the questions they are asking, and the emotional intelligence they are building.

Challenges include staying focused and slowing down. After working in a fast-paced, demanding, and results-oriented career for so long, the new pace of my days can sometimes make my brain feel quite fuzzy. I have to try really hard to not measure the day’s success by what we have accomplished, what I can cross off  my list, and how much closer we are toward our “quota.” It took me three months to stop the habit of checking my blackberry at 6:00 every morning and to stop looking for the meeting or client who “needed” me right away.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The first four years of motherhood (2006-2009) were a mixture of pure bliss and great turmoil; I definitely would call that winter. I vividly remember running through airports with bags of breast milk in hand, anxious to get home to see my kiddos before they went to sleep. Sometimes those airplanes were delayed. Sometimes those airplanes were ahead of schedule and I did indeed make it home before they shut their tired eyes. I also will probably always remember being on a business trip for my little guy’s first birthday. Sure we celebrated later that week, but missing the actual date was physically painful for me. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? Literally and figuratively, I would call what lies ahead summer. I think the last time I had the summer off from a full time paying job was in 1986. While I do have a bit of work to do on my designs and writing, the next eight weeks of summer will include a lot of beach days and exploring around our tiny little seaside home and greater LA. I would love to call it an “endless summer” ahead for us, but I am not sure.

favorite family activities: The kids and I love to walk along the beach boardwalk, meeting as many dogs as we can and asking what the dogs’ names are. I am hoping that this summer, stand up paddle boarding and kayaking become a favorite family activities too, as I think this may be the summer of water for us.

favorite solo activities: I love any yoga class that is 65 minutes or less. Any longer than that drives me crazy. I also am enjoying a cardio core class at the gym right now, mainly because there is great music, it makes me sweat, the 55 minutes are a really good use of the time. I really enjoy sewing and knitting as well. I take a lot of photos and I enjoy that, and I am enjoying the results (not the actual process) of learning a bit more about Photoshop.

sources of inspiration: I do not have what fellow Mother of Invention, High Heeled Mom, calls an everything mentor .

When it comes to parenting, I am inspired by my daughter’s teachers at del sol, Janette and Cecilia. I am also inspired by quite a few of the parenting educators at the Center for Non-violent Education and Parenting.

When it comes to design, I am inspired by very random things. Right now I am completely fixated on this old wooden dilapidated bench I saw in the alley behind a Cajun restaurant near our house. I am not sure why but this bench, with its wood that is falling apart and beautifully bleached by the sun, is really sticking with me. It is terrific balance of modern and organic, this bench. Certain fabrics, such as Anna Maria Horners Little Folks Voiles also send me off and running with ideas.

I am also constantly inspired by contrasts. Contrasting colors, textures, lighting, moods…

My children and their friends inspire me in many ways. Their joy and honesty inspires me to find that within myself and tap into my own inner child.

best MakeShift moment: Juggling the corporate career and motherhood made for many MakeShift moments, mostly around breast pumps and conference calls, or breast pumps and public facilities.

Closer to home and more recently, I have had several MakeShift Moments as I balanced the needs of small people in our house with my desire to have a “designer” home, worthy of a “Coastal Living” center spread. A girl can have dreams, right, even if some are materialistic in nature? As function surpasses form these days, I pause, laugh, and try to remember that Martha Stewart’s Crosby-home-visit is not scheduled for some time yet.

When I took down the dining room table in order to make room for a play and art area that was closer to the kitchen, I conceded to the notion that I could have it all, just NOT all at the same time. It hit me that day that I was not going to be having sit down dinner parties while small children where in this house. While I carried the very heavy dining room table to the garage, I knew I was treading in the middle ground. This was the balance appropriate for our stage, and it did not include a dining room.

I had a similar MakeShift moment when we disassembled our bed frame and put our mattress right smack on the floor. This allowed me to stop using up valuable head space visualizing my monkeys jumping off the bed and needing stitches at the ER. A similar MakeShift moment that involved function over form took place just last weekend, when we butted a full-sized mattress right up to our California King-sized mattress. I have never seen that in Coastal Living magazine spreads, have you? But this is our balance. This is who we are — the Crosby Family — as we shift and “re” volve.

check out kathi’s blog at http://www.semi-handmade.com/.

first name: Carol

age: 33

current city: Hermosa Beach, CA  (near Los Angeles)

living situation: I live with my husband and our two boys, ages four and two. We recently added a fish, who only became a member of our family because it was a favor at a birthday party.

occupation: Wedding & Portrait Photographer 

how do you structure your time and space? I currently have an office in our house. I work about 30 hours a week and have a nanny who comes four days a week for the first half of the day. This allows me to have free afternoons with my boys and cook dinner. 

I squeeze in grocery shopping when needed and try to do fewer, bigger trips every other week than many small trips every week. I keep an ongoing list of what’s needed to keep me organized and keep the grocery store time streamlined.

My mother-in-law also comes one day a week to help us. She will take the boys all day and stay either overnight or until bedtime, to ensure that my husband and I have a date night to catch up. I cherish these date nights and uninterrupted conversations! 

I spend many weekend days away shooting weddings or families on location. I feel blessed that my husband enjoys taking care of the boys when I work during the weekend. 

When I get busier in the fall and add fifteen and more hours to my work week, I scrape the help together the best that I can.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I have the best of both worlds right now, working at home and being available to my children during the day while they are still young.  It gets tight, space-wise, with my gear and post-production and office work, but I still prefer being close and listening to what’s going on downstairs.   

It can be very frustrating when my family needs me during my work time, since I try to keep the times divided. Sometimes I just have to go to the office and shut the door and ignore the polite little knocks or crying for “mama,” and sometimes I just “arrive” at the office a little later than usual.  It takes will power & patience to work from home, but I wouldn’t trade it. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before I had children four years ago, I was a photographer, only I worked many more (uninterrupted) hours while I was building my business. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? Eventually, when my children are in school for more hours, I would like to have a studio I can go to for my work, and for shooting and meeting with clients.  Also, I would love another assistant and an intern!

Favorite family activity: Loading up the stroller and going to the beach.  It’s the most fun AND easiest place to watch our children, and it wears them out!

favorite solo activities: grocery shopping, jogging, yoga (only once or twice a month). wait… answering this question makes me realize I need more time to do more solo activities.

sources of inspiration: 

• Finding new favorite music- I love Pandora & XM
• Reading my favorite blogs, websites & magazines 
• Gardening with my children
• Fabric shopping ( I don’t really sew but I enjoy looking at the colors and patterns)
• Online photo forum with other photographers

best MakeShift TOOL (i just added this category because its so important): The iphone. I have educational games and filtered YouTube clips downloaded for bribery when an important work phone call comes in during my time with the kids. Usually, I try not to take calls when I’m with them, but sometimes, the “shapes and puzzles” game really comes in handy!  It also comes in handy in doctors offices and airplane trips.  (Search the itunes app store for “toddler teasers,” a shapes, numbers and letters quizzing game, and your two year old will quickly learn to recognize a hexagon!)

best MakeShift moment: One Sunday evening, after a long weekend of celebrating our son’s first birthday, the door bell rang. My mom ran in the kitchen and told me that a couple had arrived to meet with me about their wedding. With all the focus on our house guests and birthday festivities, I completely forgot that I had booked a meeting for that night (another hazard of the home office!). We all looked around and saw the same thing: our place was a disaster with newly opened toys, wrapping paper, suitcases and lingering trays of party food. Luckily, we lived right around the corner from a French pastry & coffee shop. I asked the couple to wait one minute while I quickly gathered my sample albums and laptop (which had a slide show of my work), changed out of my play clothes, and ran out the door. As we walked into the coffee shop, I put my hand in my pocket and luckily found a $20 bill to treat the couple to a tasty treat. Whew!  It turned out to be a great meeting, and eight months later, I photographed their wedding. This makeshift “near crash” moment was only possible because of our “village” that holds us together:  grandparents, friends, and extended family. I don’t know what I would do without all of them and their support. 

find carol on the web:

• website: www.carolreach.com
• blog:  www.carolreach.wordpress.com

first name: Madison

age: 32

current city: Nashville

living situation: I live in a 1960s one-story ranch house in the Nashville suburbs with my husband, Charles, and our two-year-old son, Charlie. We also have two enormous German shepherds who take up lots of bed space.

occupation: Mama, household manager, chef, maid, laundress, dog walker, secretary, chauffeur, wife – and that’s just on weekends and before 9:00 a.m. and after 5:00 p.m. on weekdays! The rest of the time I’m a marketing communications manager for a global risk consulting company. I recently went back to work full-time after working a flex/part-time schedule for about 18 months.

how do you structure your time and space? Going back to work full-time was a hard decision to make but I had to choose between increasing my hourly commitment or leaving altogether, and I have neither the patience nor the creativity to be a stay-at-home mom (my hat’s off to all of them out there!). So life right now is a little crazy. I used to run errands during the week so we could have family time on the weekends, but now we spend at least part of our Saturdays and Sundays going to the grocery store, the cleaners, Target, et cetera.

Another casualty of working full-time is that our home life isn’t quite what I want it to be. I wish our house were tidier. I wish I made the beds every morning. I wish laundry were done (meaning cleaned, folded and put away) in fewer than three days. I wish we all sat down to a home-cooked meal every night at 6:30. So I’ve learned to lower my standards a little bit, while maintaining focus on the things that are most important to us: eating healthily, exercising, having some downtime, reading books, playing, and getting enough sleep. I figure that if the biggest victim of our lifestyle is that my house is a little messier than I like, I can live with that. Hopefully Charlie will remember that we read to him every day, not that a laundry basket routinely sits in the den for days on end. We do have a housekeeper who comes once a week and does the heavy cleaning. And she irons. That’s been a huge lifesaver for our whole family.

In terms of time structure, flexibility is crucial for us. With a young child, creating a morning schedule and evening routine is essential – but so is the ability to break that routine when there’s a tantrum, or someone gets sick, or one of the pups decides to escape. Another critical element is teamwork. My husband (who’s incredibly supportive and helpful) and I tag-team to get everything done. That way, if there’s a wrench thrown into a morning routine that would prevent me from making an early meeting, Charles can take Charlie to school.

Childcare has been an ongoing struggle for us. We had a nanny after Charlie was born, which was wonderful. But it’s an expensive undertaking, especially for one child. She did help keep our house clean, and do the baby laundry, and meet work/repair people in the middle of the day. We definitely took all of that for granted. After a bad experience with her replacement, we put Charlie in a full-time daycare/preschool near my office. It’s had its ups and downs, but overall, it’s been a great experience for him. Plus, it’s about one-third the cost of a nanny. The only downside for me personally is that it’s a 40-minute commute from our home, and that much time in the car with a cranky, hungry toddler can be challenging. That and my car looks like a Goldfish explosion happened.

I’m incredibly jealous of our peers who live near their relatives and thus have access to free, on-demand babysitting. Charles and I would really like to have more date nights, so we’re working on creating a stable list of good sitters. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? We’re in spring right now. It’s a period of growth, of transformation, of blossoming. We’re watching our toddler turn into a little boy right before our eyes. It’s amazing and humbling. He learns so many new things every day, and we love being there for those discoveries. Spring is also a period of change, and our lifestyle has changed dramatically with my working full-time again. We’re also hoping to have another baby soon – another transformation for our family! Challenges abound for us right now (the terrible twos are in full force in our house), but we try to keep some perspective and remember that this is just a stage that too shall pass.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Fall, which is both a time of new beginnings (school season, football) and endings (leaves turning, warm weather ending). We lost two people very close to us: Charles’s aunt and my great-uncle, who was my quasi-grandfather. It was incredibly sad. But it was also a joyful time of spending time with an unimaginably awesome little boy and a fantastic husband.

-What season(s) might your future hold? Hopefully summer – both literally and figuratively. Pool and popsicles and beach trips – so much fun for all of us! Maybe enjoying our last few months as a 3-person family (summer always comes to an end, right?). 

Favorite family activity/activities: We’re really lucky in that Nashville is a great place for families. We love going to the zoo and riding on the carousel, attending story time at the library, playing at the playground, having picnics at the park, swimming at our awesome Y in the summer, and hiking at Radnor Lake  or Percy Warner Park. Once a week, Charlie and I also do a toddler music program called “the music playhouse,” and a gymnastics class.

favorite solo activities: Reading is my lifeblood; I’d be lost without it. I also love crossword puzzles, cooking, writing, swimming, hiking, and movies. I’ll also cop to really loving TV. Writing all this makes me wish I had more time for myself!  

[don’t forget to enter the “the billboard bag,” giveaway on saturday’s post… now, meet erin!]

first name: Erin Condren

age: 40! Yes, 40!

current city: I live in Hermosa Beach, CA and work in El Segundo (15 minute commute).

living situation: I live with my husband, Hilary (yes, he is a man), and twin children, Kate and Finn, who will be nine on July 24th.

occupation: Business owner of erincondren.com, which offers personalized planners, address labels, stationary, et cetera; Graphic designer, creative director, and marketing maniac!

how do you structure your time and space? I started my business from home and worked every minute the kids napped and slept at night. Long nights and pots of coffee brewed at 7:30 p.m. kept me fueled until my cut off at midnight. I would then go every night at midnight to Kinkos to get my printed sheets cut down to note cards. Crazy! My husband was extremely supportive, knowing we needed two incomes to live where we do. When the babies turned a year old, I hired part-time help and shared a nanny with a friend. Carmen came twodays a week and I would work nonstop from home while she went to the park with the kids, helped with laundry when they napped, et cetera.

As my business grew, so did hours with Carmen. Eventually, I merged with a larger fine art printing business 15-20 minutes from my home, and Carmen was with us full time. We were definitely a “mommy team!” Now that my kids are in school until 3:00, I share her time with my brother’s family who lives just a block away. How lucky am I?

The balance of going back to work “full time” with kids was really tough at first. I still sometimes have a guilty pang when I see all the activities and events that we just can’t get to. On the other hand, my children are so well-adjusted and very proud of what I do. I never hear them complain. Instead, they “brag” about mommy’s office, et cetera. et cetera. Since I do own my own business, I can steal away for school plays, teacher conferences and such. I dedicate one hour every two weeks in their classroom at school. They love that! My kids are in the same class, which might go against some twin parenting “rules,” but it has made life much easier for all of us for now. At some point they might request to be in separate classes, but for now it works beautifully for all of us.

I feel like my children are very active in extra-curricular activities, but nowhere near as much as many kids. I just can’t get them all around town in the middle of the day. I’m okay with that now and have a great group of friends and family close by that can help carpool when needed. I take six kids to school every morning since I leave for the office at the same time. I love our morning commute together! Five boys and my daughter are quite entertaining as we crank up Michael Jackson tunes and play “I Spy” and “Sweet and Sour” each morning on the way to school. I sure will miss these days. Next year we will be walking distance from our school, and the kiddos will all walk together.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This season is SPRING! As the sun stays out longer, our family can play catch in the front yard after work and go on bike rides to dinner (with jackets!). This is my slow time at work, so I take this time to enjoy vacations with family. For spring break, we are staying in town, but going to local spots with the kids instead: Griffith Observatory, La Brea Tar Pits and more. Can’t wait.

-What season(s) preceded this one? WINTER.  My busiest time of year is the fourth quarter, which includes calendar season, Christmas cards, and more. The hours are long, and often extend to the weekends. It is hard on me to be away from my family so much, but my husband and I tag-team and have worked through it enough to make it all work. It is never easy though, and I must admit that I sometimes dread that time of year!

-What season(s) might your future hold? SUMMER. My company is on fire with new HOT ideas, and I can’t wait for longer days and more energy to make things happen. We will soon heat our pool, which means nightly swims after work with my kids — my favorite thing to do!

80’s day at Erin’s office

favorite family activities: We love to ride bikes along the beach and stop for Mexican food on the pier (which includes margaritas for mommy!). We also LOVE to tent camp!!! Yes, real tent camping…well, Condren style. My husband is an incredible cook and brings all his commercial equipment, even a deep fryer for tempura shrimp! We don’t have the typical hot dogs and chips at our camp; it’s all about the food and fun! We recently took an RV trip and decided we prefer tent camping in many ways.

Having two eightyear olds is such a joy. Life is so simple these days. The early years are all such a blur.  We just struggled and juggled to get througheach day with newborn premies. This makes us appreciate the carefree life we lead with our “grown up” kids now!

favorite solo activities: Boy, this is a tough one. I really don’t have time (nor do I make time) for much “solo” activity. My  mom tells me I never liked to be alone as a child, and I guess that still stands. I would  like to say that I read, but I really don’t make time for that either. Someday I would love to be in a book club or just pour through novels and best sellers. For now, my favorite “alone” time is spent shopping on the web. I do love shopping online and waiting for the boxes to arrive. It feels like Christmas each time, like I didn’t really spend the money — Santa did! 

sources of inspiration: I love to read home décor magazines. My favorite is an English publication called, Living, etc.  Seeing new color trends, fabrics, furniture and art always inspires me at home and in my career. I am very “trendy” and don’t spend a lot of money on my interiors at home. With small kids and a packed social calendar at “Club Condren,” it’s not worth the investment. Thumbing through the pages gives me great ideas to inexpensively update my home with an accent wall or new area rug. The trends I see in magazines are creative boosts that inspire new designs on my website too! 

best MakeShift moment: My mom taught me the trick of letting the babies play with pots and pans while attempting to cook a meal. It used to drive my husband nuts because it was so loud as they clanked lids and slammed pots on the floor (not good on wood, but who cared at that point?). At least it gave me about tenminutes to tear open a Trader Joe’s bag and call it dinner!

find erin on the web at 

• www.erincondren.com
• www.erincondren.com/blog

follow on twitter: erincondren

follow on facebook: erincondren.com