first name: Jessica

age: 36

occupation: 

• Teacher on a looong sabbatical
• Full-time mom and housekeeper
• Part-time student, studying for my English as a Second Language (ESL) endorsement
• Part-time employee of The New Teacher Project  (TNTP) as Lead Selector with Memphis Teaching Fellows, selecting candidates for an alternate certification program and placement in the Memphis City Schools

how do you structure your time and space? Because my work is part-time and mostly on Saturdays, and my kids are now both in school every day, I have a lot of my weekdays free to take care of “my stuff.” I spend part of every day exercising (running, stretching/yoga, boot camp, walking), keeping house (laundry, laundry, laundry), reading/studying/writing papers, and running errands/preparing menus and meals. My “office” is my kitchen counter. I have struggled a bit with using my time wisely so that I am not overwhelmed when a deadline is looming, but I am starting to get the hang of it. My goal is that I do not have to do any of my schoolwork and very little housework once the kids and husband get home so our evenings and weekends are free for family activities. About half of the time I meet that goal.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlight of my current season is having so much time to myself. The challenge is using this time wisely and staying mindful of how important this time is. I don’t know when or if I will ever have this kind of time again to read, garden, study, and have lunch with friends. I am trying to get as much enjoyment as possible out of this season. I sort of look at this as my retirement time. Soon, I will go back to work full-time. Some days it is hard to face a full day at home alone, but I am learning to be thankful every day for time to just sit in quiet if I want to.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season preceding this one was definitely not quiet. It was one of noise and song and laughter and tears. I spent about five years with my babies/children at home full-time and several more with part-time preschool. It was hard sometimes, but now that it is over, I realize how short that time was. Before having Lillian, I was a full-time teacher in a middle school in North Memphis. I loved it, and it was a more difficult decision to stop teaching than I had ever thought it would be.

-What season(s) might your future hold? My future definitely holds another season of teaching, either part-time or full-time. I am working on my ESL endorsement because it is something that has always interested me and there are more opportunities in this field for part-time work than with regular classroom teaching. I am torn, though. I love teaching middle school Language Arts (I know, I’m crazy). But, I have another year of courses and I’m looking at increased part-time work with TNTP in the coming year. So, no matter what happens, the next season will be busier, with less time for myself. 

favorite family activity/activities: walking the kids to school together, walking in our neighborhood and through the old forest of Overton Park, being at the beach, riding bikes, listening to music at the Levitt Shell, camping, traveling, playing games, reading together, and enjoying homemade pizza and movie nights

favorite solo activities: running, reading, drawing, cooking, baking bread and other goodies, gardening

sources of inspiration: my husband and kids, my parents and sister, my dear friends, my Dream Group, music, and nature

best MakeShift moment: As several other “mothers of invention” have noted, bath time is full of great makeshift moments. My kids’ tub time has often given me the opportunity to talk to them the whole time while clean the rest of the bathroom. Bath Time was always alphabet time when the kids were younger. We had foam bath letters, and we made a game of identifying the letters and/or making words with them. Or, I would read the newspaper to them (and me!) while they were bathing. Now that my kids are getting older and my daughter takes showers by herself, I don’t get as much of that time. But, I do still put little Charlie to work while he is in the bathtub. I give him a little baking soda, he makes a paste, and cleans the tiles within his reach while I clean the rest of the bathroom. He has a ball, and I get a clean bathroom. Win-win makeshift moment.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Johanna

age: 36

living situation: I live with my husband and my two year old son.

occupation: Professor

how do you structure your time and space? I work full time during the academic year at a small teaching college and am expected to spend about 40 hours a week on campus. My child attends a nearby daycare.

During the academic year, I teach either one or two nights a week. On those days, I go into work a little later and have some time with my son at home in the morning. Those days are also “Boys’ Nights In,” and my husband comes home from work early, picks our son up from daycare, and takes care of him while I am teaching.

I have about seven weeks off during the summer, four weeks at Christmas, as well as some shorter breaks during the academic year. I spend as much of this time as I can with my son. I also work at home some during these breaks, usually during nap time or after my son’s bedtime.

I often do laundry and other homemaking tasks early in the morning before my son gets up. We also have someone help with cleaning every other week. I like to cook and want my family to have healthy, homemade meals, but that time after work and before bedtime is precious and goes by so quickly. I am unwilling to spend much of it preparing a meal. So, I have settled into a routine of cooking mainly on the weekends so that we can either eat leftovers or out of the crock pot on weeknights.

My husband and I typically have our “date nights” at home on Friday nights, after our son goes to bed. When we go out for dinner or coffee, we almost always take our son with us. We spend so much time away from him during the week, we both want to spend as much of our evening and weekend time with him as we can. We also have a Young Parents’ (no kids) Supper Club through our church that meets every month or two that we love participating in.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Throughout all my years of graduate school and post-doctoral training, I wondered (and worried) how I would manage an academic career and motherhood. Though I have always felt called to my work, I found it very difficult to put my baby in someone else’s care while I worked. Some days, I still do. However, my financial contribution to our family is essential, and I am grateful to have a job that I really like and that makes a difference in this world.  I have also learned that I am not the only one who can love and care for my child. I have been humbled by and am thankful for the wonderful care he receives from his daycare teachers while I am at work. I also think my husband takes a more active role in caring for our son than he would if I didn’t work full-time. Seeing their relationship if a gift that I never expected.

Oftentimes, I wish for more time with my son and more flexibility with my work. However, I am also aware of how fortunate I am to work on an academic calendar. Also, a teaching institution is a good place for me to be right now. The pressure to achieve here is lower than in other places I’ve been, and unlike many other academics I know, I am mostly able to keep my working hours to 40 per week.

I am very selective in the responsibilities I take on. I don’t say “yes” to every opportunity that comes my way. It’s hard, though, to say “no” and deal with others’ expectations of me. I hope that I am doing enough to pull my weight in my department, to be competitive whenever I apply for new jobs, and to make valuable contributions to my church and community.  

I don’t have much time for hobbies and personal interests. I have a closet full of unfinished sewing projects and a long list of books I want to read… someday!

-What season(s) preceded this one? I completed a postdoc at a large, top-tier research university. While I loved the work I did, I didn’t love the pressure and long hours that went along with it.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I don’t know. I’d like to have more time with my son and more flexibility in my schedule. I’d also like to stay in academics. Maybe I’ll keep teaching. Maybe I’ll find a way to go back to research.

favorite family activity/activities: Snuggling on the couch with blankies and reading books together. Taking walks around our neighborhood, while our son rides in his wagon. Using our new webcam to talk to grandparents and cousins. 

favorite solo activities: reading, walking

sources of inspiration: my husband, my son, good books

best MakeShift moment: My husband was running late to pick up our son, and I had a class to teach. So, I took my son to class with me. To the delight of both my son and my graduate students, I lectured with a baby on my hip! This was very unorthodox at my university! 

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Sharon

age: 40 (really?!)

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with Scott, my husband of almost 16 years, and our daughters Madeleine (12) and Sophie (9). Our furry children, Millie and Henry, are portuguese water dogs.

occupation: stay at home mom and part time student

how do you structure your time and space? On weekdays, I get up around 6:45 to help get the kids out the door for school. Tuesdays and Fridays are typically days to go to the grocery and make my all-time-favorite Target run. To some, my days may sound rather mundane, but I am never bored. There is never enough time in the days and weeks! I have recently come to understand myself as the CEO of my home. This realization gives me great pleasure, and in a strange way, I feel rather powerful. My kids adore their father, and he is hands-on and helpful, but they usually come to me with their needs and concerns. Maybe Madeleine and Sophie rely on me for everything because I am their fellow female. But Scott relies on me too! I find myself saying things such as, “No, I do not know where you put your wallet!!!”

I try extremely hard each week to make sure I am taking care of me in some way while my children are at school and Scott is at work. Once they get home, it’s all about them. I allow myself an hour each morning to have my coffee and watch the Today show. I am enrolled part time at University of Memphis, where I am working on my Bachelor’s degree in Child Development. Going to school has given me the opportunity to use my brain for something other than managing my household, and it has also helped shine a light on my path which has often seemed blurry. I go to a dream-interpretation group once a week with some very wise and interesting ladies. I also attend a study group at my church every Thursday that I can. I also try every week to connect with a friend by having coffee or lunch. I have learned that my friends feed my soul, and in order to stay connected with them, I have to reach out. It’s just that simple. 

Sometimes there are just days I do not have it in me to be a mom. I do not beat myself up about it. My kids are old enough now that they understand when I tell them I just cannot be present at this particular time. I lean on Scott and he comes through for me during these times. I just tell them the truth; I don’t dance around it. I think my kids appreciate that about me. I think I am teaching them how to speak up and say out loud what they are feeling. I hope I am teaching them the value of verbally expressing their needs. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have felt for quite some time now that I am in between the seasons of winter and spring. I can see the buds of new growth. I can smell the new air. I can hear the birds making their way back, but I am just not quite there. It’s a wonderful place to be but it’s also frustrating. I feel this overwhelming sense of something I just cannot give a word to.  I know that there is a new path for me that goes beyond motherhood. I can feel it. But, I still don’t know what it is, and that is very frustrating. I am so envious of women who know exactly what their gifts are and how to share them with the world. I know being in school is the right path, but sometimes I wonder what in the world I am doing! I am trying to discern what my spiritual gifts are and allow my spirit to guide me. 

My daughters are growing up both physically and emotionally. Madeleine is twelve and her hormones are surging. She is having a tough year at school and that just breaks my heart. I am finding that watching my girls grow up so very quickly is taking quite a toll on me emotionally.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before this season, I was in a dark and gloomy winter. I struggled with depression in my twenties and thirties, but the past few years have brought a different struggle that has been just as painful as depression. My health took a strange and frightening turn. My kids were going through all sorts of new phases that were no fun at all. My marriage was going through growing pains. Part of my family moved back to Memphis which brought about all sorts of new and unexpected challenges. But, I’ve come to realize that it is during these hard times when I learn something new about myself. I make it to the other side and feel a sense of accomplishment, and I also feel just a bit wiser.

favorite family activity/activities: We love our girls. We love taking them on trips. We love taking them to Broadway shows at the Orpheum. We love listening to all their stories. They are our inspiration. We look at them sometimes and cannot believe our love made these two fabulous beings. 

favorite solo activities: I love to read, see movies, and travel, but my favorite pass time is enjoying time with friends and family. Scott and I both love to cook and eat, so any time we are with friends and family, it involves yummy food. We also really enjoy wine and love coming across a fantastic $12 bottle! Scott and I live a quiet life. We spend most of our time with each other. We love to go on dates. We try to have date night every week.

sources of inspiration: Besides my daughters, I am inspired by women who know who they are and what they want. I am inspired by my mother-in-law who is the wisest person I have ever known. I am inspired by my mother who never ever complains. I am inspired by my very eclectic group of girl friends. I am inspired by nature in particular trees and birds. I am inspired by people who always see the glass half full.

best MakeShift moment: I am sure this is not all that creative but it is a memory I have that always makes me smile.

When Madeleine was a toddler I could not provide enough entertainment for her. She was always ready to play! This was exhausting! There was a day that I just needed her to be occupied with something other than me. I gave her all my makeup, and for one whole hour she sat in the middle of our porch in the backyard and covered her little body from head to toe with lipstick, eyeliner, shadow, blush, and powder. It took forever to wash it all off, and I feel certain there are still make up stains on that porch to this day.

We do not need to personally entertain our children all of the time!  Just give them a box of makeup and let their imagination take over!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I would say this is spring, characterized by lots of new growth and wait-and-see. The girls test me on everything to learn boundaries and question me on everything to soak in knowledge. It can be stressful and consuming but beautiful things often spring from the stress. To continue the analogy, I worry about my parenting as I do about my spring garden. Is my method of tending appropriate? Am I giving too much or too little? I worry about warping their little selves with the wrong care. The beauty is seeing the daily growth and the emergence of each personality.

-What season(s) preceded this one? A care-free summer! I only thought I knew what being busy meant or having obligations was about.

-What season(s) might your future hold? Autumn. It is becoming autumn more and more. Autumn reminds me of huddling in the bleachers together when it starts getting cool, but not so cold that you can’t go out. As the girls get older, I see more involvement as a family unit. Life is getting busier and more active. I see work slowing down and that family, huddling in the bleachers together, out and about and supporting each other.

favorite family activities: Rock N Romp; playing and grilling in the yard; cruising the lake at Gran & Pops; bumming on the beach at Gigi & Papi’s

favorite solo activities: dancing; sitting in a small setting watching live music; sitting in silence

sources of inspiration: The families I encounter on a daily basis in Court. From children with broken spirits to the brokennes caused by simple broken promises, each story touches me. Parents who try and give everything, but its not enough, make me push harder. Kids who just want to be loved, make someone proud, and know where they will sleep, remind me to hug my girls a little tighter and praise them more often. Those kids who have turned to a delinquent path remind me that my girls need discipline and my direction to help guide them down youth’s path. Many nights I lay in bed so “inspired” that I am too full to sleep. Those are the nights I don’t mind if one of my girls gets out of bed.

best MakeShift moment: My life is a series of MakeShift moments. One moment when I felt that I was a real mom and was going to accept things was when my child drew in red marker on the walls of her new, newly painted room. It is a pretty good rendition of a creepy princess outline. Instead of getting on to her or trying to clean it, I framed around it. There it sits just down and to the left of her light switch: a red-marker-fourteen-inch-tall-princess-drawing with an open modeling frame now showcasing it. On another occasion “someone” colored it in with blue toothpaste. I was upset that I might have to erase the drawing to clean the toothpaste. I realized then that I had become a different person — a proud Mama.

Find Autumn on the web:

first name: Crystal

age: 37

current city:  Memphis

living situation: First, it is important to know that I am surrounded by males. Even our pets are all male. I live with my husband of almost eight years, Chris, and our son, Samuel (2). We also share our home every other weekend with our other son, Andrew (10), who lives with his mom on a full-time basis. We have a dog, Rudy, and two cats, Tiger and Willis. We live in Mid-town and adore our block which is full of other children. There is never a dull moment!

occupation: Rehabilitation Counselor

how do you structure your time and space? I am blessed to have worked from home since the time I returned from maternity leave. I changed jobs within the university for which I work, and this change allowed me to telecommute since our main office is in Knoxville. Since that time, my approach to a balanced division has evolved…with the development of Samuel. He was just five months old when I began my new position and will be three this summer. He has been home with me full-time until just this past week when he began a Parents Day Out program two days a week.

I have total freedom to construct my day the way I would like. This allows me to take Samuel to the library, the zoo, or just have an “at home day” where the playroom gets a lot of use  (my office is right off the playroom which makes it easy to do a quick email check). My first priority is Samuel, and I fear that my work sometimes suffers as a result. However, my boss is pleased with my work product, and he is supportive of my time with Samuel. He is also clear about my priorities. A prime example of this is when I was breastfeeding Samuel but had several work trips to attend. I made it clear that Samuel would need to come with me (along with my husband and/or a grandparent), and my boss agreed. I worked, attended meetings, and took breaks to breastfeed and put Samuel down for his naps. My first work trip without Samuel was when he was almost two!

On the other hand, the most challenging division of time has been home making and self-care. I am coming out of that fog now but it has been difficult to find the time (or care to find the time) to do either. I am paying for that now and am trying to turn the focus back to things that I once would never have imagined letting go of: namely ME!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? As a “good Southern woman,” I have become quite good at taking care of everyone else! But, within the last year, I have been diagnosed with a chronic illness which means that I MUST take care of myself. But how does that get done when I am already wishing for more time in the day?

It is also challenging to keep Samuel occupied while I am working from home. Thus far we have made it work, and the addition of Parents Day Out should help. He started this past week and has done amazingly well! We are SO proud of him!

There are so many highlights of this season. I was able to breastfeed Samuel until 15 ½ months and prepare all of his baby food myself. I have been present for every milestone and developmental stride in Samuel’s life. I chronicled his first two years (as much as possible) on a timeline, using calendars and marking experiences, words and achievements. I have also been able to travel with my family and give our children experiences that will last a lifetime…all while working. Oh, and we can’t forget the highlight of logging into work most mornings in my pajamas!    

-What season(s) preceded this one? It seems like a lifetime ago, but my season prior to having a child went something like this: graduate school, various positions of increasing responsibility, and my eyes set on pursuing a PhD. Motherhood blindsided me. I just knew I would be going back to work in my office job but when Samuel turned one week old, I spent most of the day crying at the prospect of returning to work. So when the telecommuting option came up, I couldn’t resist the opportunity. The biggest down side is a 60 percent pay cut. OUCH! But, the sacrifice has been well worth it in our eyes.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I often remind myself  that I still have 35 more working years! So, I believe I will return to the career- focused woman that I once was. However, I will never put that career focus ahead of my family. I envision a season filled with continued flexibility and control of my days. Telecommuting will likely not come to an end for me anytime soon. I have become too spoiled!    

favorite family activities: cooking, games, going to the zoo, time spent at the Memphis Drum Shop,  “picnics” (complete with a blanket on the floor) where we eat dinner while watching a movie, reading, having dance parties

favorite solo activities: baking, cake-decorating, graphic design, photography, and glass blowing

sources of inspiration: color in nature; my children; the quiet, still moments that don’t come often enough these days

best MakeShift moment: Occasionally, it is not possible to schedule my phone meetings and/or conference calls while Samuel is napping. On one such occasion, I was on a conference call with a planning committee. I held the phone on MUTE as long as I could until my boss called on me (unexpectedly) to share information on a particular project. I knew Samuel was safe but he was not being quiet at the moment, so I shoved a Pottery Barn catalog in his hands, and ran into the next room where I was still able to see him. I fumbled with the phone, unmuted it and proceeded with my response. Whew…crisis diverted!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, please check out the nomination process info located in the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Erin

age: 31

current city:  Birmingham, AL

living situation: I live in a house with my husband, 21-month old son, and our golden retriever named Atticus. We are expecting a baby in September.

occupation: Photographer, self-employed. My  husband and I are both photographers who run our business together. I shoot mostly kids and family sessions, he does commercial work, and we photograph weddings together. We share all the other gazillion responsibilities of running a business including administrative tasks, communicating with clients, bookkeeping et cetera.

how do you structure your time and space? I primarily care for our son during the day, though our schedule allows us to (somewhat) leisurely start most mornings as a family sharing breakfast, light housekeeping and getting ready for the day. I really enjoy this time together and see it as a luxury we will not always have. Around 8 a.m., my husband goes to work downstairs in our basement office. It really is his office because we’ve discovered that I never work down there. I keep my computer on the bar in our kitchen where I steal moments to check email during the day and then sit to work during our son’s nap and after he’s gone to bed. I rarely feel caught up in my photography work so I constantly feel the pull to be working. I have found that I can really attend to (and enjoy) the time with our son better when we leave the house. We usually spend our mornings going to the library, the grocery store and running various other errands. We’re usually home one morning a week to play (or he plays while I attempt to clean/do laundry). I also attend a weekly Bible study where our son stays in the nursery.

I usually leave the house for three to five photo shoots a week (not including photographing weddings about half the Saturdays of the year). My preference is to do these over one full day (usually Fridays) and one other morning or afternoon. Through trial and error, I found leaving for one entire day during the week was easier for me than trying to schedule shorter blocks of time away on several different days. The latter made me feel like I was constantly switching gears, and I was totally frazzled in all of my roles. I hire a babysitter for most weekdays I leave to shoot, though my husband sometimes spends the time with our son. My mother-in-law takes on most of our working Saturdays, and other family members take the rest. Sometimes I’ll even bring our son with me on a shoot. He enjoys watching the spectacle of my working and the treats I bring to entertain him along the way.

Because we work most Saturdays, we have recently begun protecting Tuesdays as a day for our family to do something fun together – hikes, museums, et cetera. Our business feels established but it seems like we’re constantly still wading through what we all need and what works best for each of us. Even though my husband and I don’t have a lot of intentional date nights, we spend so much of our time together and really do enjoy most of it (we owe a lot of the enjoyment factor to some incredible marriage counseling that we still regularly attend to help us figure out how to work/play/do life together). I don’t take much time for me by myself away from home right now. I haven’t really figured out how to do that well.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Working from home and mostly creating my own schedule allows me to feel like I spend most of my time with our son. I really enjoy the fact that none of us has to be anywhere most mornings and we can (theoretically) choose when we want to work. One of my main challenges is combating the mom-guilt that seems to always be lurking (work more or work less, organic vegetables or free cookies at Target, cutting out coupons or spending my free time doing things that feel more life-giving to me, mother’s day out or not…). I also struggle with contrasting the affirmation that comes so quickly and easily from my clients with how hard it can seem to get through an evening with my toddler before bedtime. Also, I really wish I had more time for friendships in this season. I miss my closest friends who live in other states and find it hard to have the time, energy and all the rest that’s needed to really cultivate new friendships. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Before parenthood, we were in the early stages of running our own business full-time from home. In some ways, life felt crazier then because it wasn’t guided by the routine that raising a child demands. We worked all the time; I scheduled photo shoots and meetings whenever clients wanted, which left me with little routine and balance. Our marriage, our home and our business are much healthier now than they were then due to the rhythms we have established. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? It is difficult (and I’m not sure I’m ready) to see beyond our life right now with young children. We hope that our family is still in the beginning phases but we also have lots of dreams and goals for our business. I honestly have no idea how we’re going to balance working and raising a family as we grow (in both ways), and I can easily get very overwhelmed at the possibilities. In the months that we were anticipating our first child, I remember how fearful I was of not being able to balance it all. It hasn’t been easy by any means but we’ve waded through and made progress in figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Remembering that helps me to have hope that through trial and error, we’ll figure out new routines (and how to make enough money to eat).

favorite family activities: Taking walks/being outside together, traveling and seeing new things and places.

favorite solo activities: Reading, looking through home magazines for ideas, talking to my best friends on the phone (in person would be much better).

sources of inspiration: my mom; my husband and my son;  people who are willing to be transparent and real. 

best MakeShift moment: Life feels full of these moments right now. I had so many expectations of what I would be like as a mother and it has been refreshing to let go of a lot of those. Just recently, while I was preparing dinner, I was so happy that my son was occupied while pouring the dog’s water back and forth between the food and water bowls. The mess was huge but well worth it. I regularly give him cups of ice that end up melting all over our hardwood floors, he’s allowed to sit (but not stand) on our coffee table, and I am not ashamed of bribing with suckers or candy when necessary. For me, letting all of these things be okay feels like quite a shift. Also, I have allowed myself to give up cooking most nights. We eat a lot of take-out and it works for us most of the time.

check out erin’s stunning photography at www.nolenphotographyblog.com.

first name: Elizabeth

age: 45

current city:  Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband, son who is 16, and daughter who is 13. I am lucky to live in the same town as my mother and my brothers and their families.

occupation: Mother/Part-time lawyer

how do you structure your time and space? I was a full-time lawyer before I had my children.  I was fortunate to be able to stay home with them for about ten years. I wouldn’t trade that time for anything. I had an opportunity to go back to my firm about five years ago, and they let me be part-time. The timing was right for me and I am glad to have the adult interaction, a little income, and the sense of pride that comes with doing the job well.

I don’t think part-time allows one to “have it all”. I took myself off any partnership track, I make less than one might expect, and I have to deal with people who make snide comments when I leave at 2:30 to go to carpool line. However, I do have some income, I have the satisfaction of knowing my input helps and makes a difference at the office, I have a sense of pride in having the job I do. Everyone knows that my children and my family are my top priorities and the job only works for me as long as it works for my family.

The biggest thing for me is learning to say “no” and not feel guilty.  I am better at the first but still struggling with the second.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I am in the season of contentment right now. My children are both in good places right now and are happy and settled in school. They are fairly independent, but still share with my husband and me. My husband and I are best friends and enjoy having more time together. I have a job that allows me flexibility. I am thankful for facebook and text messaging to be in touch with friends.

-what season(s) preceded this one? The season of uncertainty.  I had decisions about what schools my kids would attend, whether I would go back to work, how would I make some type of activity for me fit in with the focus on motherhood I want. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? The season of wonder. I wonder where my kids will go to college, what they will do and whom they will love. I wonder how my mother will manage without the love of her life. I wonder what my husband and I will do with an empty nest. I wonder if I will want to work more—I doubt that.

favorite family activities: Going to dinner, going to the lake, just being together. 

favorite solo activities: Reading, knitting or smocking, playing on the computer.

sources of inspiration: My parents, my husband and my kids.

best MakeShift moment: The best makeshift moments for me are when friends and I collaborate to shuffle our respective children (who are also friends) to their various and conflicting activities so that we don’t have to be two places at once.

I also think that cell phones have transformed motherhood.  I used to sit in carpool line and use that time to talk to friends without feeling like I needed to be playing with a child, cooking dinner, or doing laundry. It was time that worked for phone calls.

if you or someone you know would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the sidebar to your right for pages about the nomination process.

first name: Sarah

age: 33 

current city: Tampa

living situation: Husband and son, age two. We live in an older house close to downtown.

occupation: Marketing director for a Fortune 100 insurance company

how do you structure your time and space? I have a traditional corporate job where I’m required to be at my office from about 8:30-5:00, five days a week. However, I don’t have a Blackberry or a laptop for security reasons, so I really do leave it all at the office. My son goes to a wonderful daycare, and he adores his teachers and his friends there.

My home-making philosophy in a nutshell: outsourcing. I have a house cleaner and I use a meal preparation service where I go to a commercial kitchen and prepare a month’s worth of dinners to freeze. My house is far cleaner and we eat much better (for the same price) than when we did all this ourselves! This way, I can spend the time I do have with my son in the mornings and evenings focusing on him, not cooking dinner or picking up the house.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? My current season is winter, because in winter we draw closer to our families, huddle together to enjoy each others’ warmth, and eliminate unnecessary things from our lives in order to conserve energy. It’s a great metaphor for my life right now because I’m constantly choosing family over other interests. It’s hard to resist the temptation to pack things into my life, but I am a better mother when I am focused and not worn out by too many outside demands.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer, because I had a job that involved more “playtime” (marketing for a nonprofit) but also required really long days and weekends at the expense of my family.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Right now we’re in a little bit of a holding pattern. Once our future plans are clearer, I think it will feel like fall, when you get that “back to school” feeling, plan out your activities, get into a new routine, and meet new people.

favorite family activity: Our neighborhood has quiet streets and wonderful parks with playgrounds, so we load up the jogging stroller and take a family walk to the playground. It’s free, we get some exercise, and we always meet a new friend.

favorite solo activity: If I bolt out the door the second my son’s head hits the pillow at night, I can make it to a 7:30 hot yoga class and he never even knows I’m gone.

sources of inspiration: Myself, five years ago! I went on the record in a very public way (letter to the editor of the New York Times) about my commitment to sharing the responsibility of supporting my family so that my husband could pursue his career dreams and be an involved parent to our children. Right after the letter was published, my husband supported me when I quit a great corporate job to do something I’d always wanted to do—marketing for a nonprofit that served families and children. Then, last fall, he took a long-awaited opportunity to shift from a well-paid advertising agency leadership position into full time teaching at the college level, and I was able to go back to a corporate marketing job to bring in more income. I was so proud that I could help make his dream a reality, and his job will get even more flexible and family-friendly as time goes on.

 Don’t get me wrong. It has been so hard to “walk the walk”, but in the end it’s worked out like I hoped. And when I get overwhelmed or think that I am a horrible mother for having a full-time job outside the home, I remember how proud I was of my mother for helping to support our family financially, and that I always felt close to her even though there were other people who took care of me during the day. Plus, what two-year-old doesn’t LOVE having daddy around more often!

best MakeShift moment: Recently we got a massive heating bill, so I bought a programmable thermostat. Of course, I wanted to install it right away, but I had to cut off the power so I didn’t electrocute myself while I connected the wiring, and it was hard to see in the dark hallway with the lights off. So I had my son hold the flashlight, and my husband hold my son, so that I could see to install the thermostat on the wall. It was an instant family bonding moment, and I got a big “to-do” done too. Now, my son even “helps” alongside me with his little pretend tools while I do all sorts of household projects. He thinks we’re playing together!

stay tuned for tomorrow’s post: sarah’s new york times letter to the editor.

first name: Jennifer

age: 36 

current city: Germantown , TN

living situation: I live in a house in the “burbs” with my husband and two children (ages five and eight) and a dog.

occupation: I am a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor, and I own a small business that provides fitness programming for moms. This is my second career; prior to having children I did legislative and non-profit work.

how do you structure your time and space? This is the first year that my children are both in school 5 days a week (some of these days are half-days for my younger). I teach six to seven classes each week at two different locations. I cart my equipment around in the back of my minivan, and my home base/office is a spare room in our house. I spend my early mornings preparing breakfasts, packing lunches, and getting ready for the day. Once the kids are at school, I teach a class or two, run errands, and take care of emails, phone calls, planning, and paperwork. Once the kids are home from school, my primary focus is on family matters. I spend time with the kids, take them to ballet or basketball practice, prepare dinner, and join my husband in putting kids to bed. I teach a night class once a week. This entails dining with the family and then leaving my husband to handle the rest of the kids’ evening.

There is one weekday morning when I do not teach. I try protect this “me day” by not scheduling anything that I do not really enjoy. I generally go for a long run and then do some reading. I always spend some time in the evening reading too. Weekends are mostly family time with a run or a yoga class in the mix.

My work is very family-friendly. All but two of my classes are for women and their children (generally ages six weeks to four years). Up until this year, my younger child was regularly with me in class, and during school breaks, I bring my kids with me. The only time I really have difficulty with work and child-care is if one of my kids is sick. Fortunately, my husband’s schedule is flexible enough that he usually can stay home with a sick child while I go to class.

Housework definitely takes a back seat for me, and so at this moment (and this is typical) there are all sorts of school papers and mail scattered on the kitchen counter. There is some kid’s artwork-in-progress on the table, and my desk is covered in my stuff plus a baby doll, a walkie-talkie, some Lego’s, and a light saber. I like the idea of living in a clean, uncluttered house, but I’m not willing to give up anything else that I do in order to make time for it. Anytime we are having guests over, I run around like a crazy person trying to clean because I just can’t let go of the idea that things SHOULD be neat and orderly!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have been thinking a lot recently about how I perceive myself to be in the midst of a transition from one season to another. My youngest child will start kindergarten next year, so I will be the parent of two school-age children.  Currently, I am considering ways that I can work a bit more and contribute more to our family income, while hopefully also maintaining the flexibility that I enjoy now.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I spent several years as a “stay-at-home” mom. In the time just before having my first child, I was very unsure about the career path I was on and spent a lot of time thinking about other possible directions in which I could go. We happened to move to Memphis from a different city during my pregnancy, which made it easier stop working (outside the home) altogether for a while. I really enjoyed this time with my kids and feel like it gave me a great deal of freedom to embark on a new path. We still feel a bit financially behind because of this, but overall I have been happy with my path.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I don’t really have a five or ten year plan (I’m just trying to work on a 12-month plan)! I envision that as my kids get older and more independent I will spend more time working and doing things that I enjoy (I love my current work). I am hoping to be able to travel more. I also have this crazy goal of someday participating in a 50-mile, or maybe even 100-mile, ultramarathon. 

favorite family activity: We enjoy going for walks out in the woods (for example on the Wolf River Trails),  having family movie nights, and making pancakes together on Sunday mornings.

favorite solo activity: running, yoga, reading

sources of inspiration: my family, other moms (those who are balancing their responsibilities while also caring for themselves and maintaining their own happiness/sanity), books, beautiful and peaceful places

best MakeShift moment: When my oldest child was two years old, I formed a co-op preschool program with five other moms. “Co-op” met one morning a week for two and a half  hours. Each week, according to a rotating schedule, there were two moms who planned and implemented theme-based play-related activities, a craft, outside play, snack and story time. The other moms would drop off their kids and enjoy a morning of free time. We all brought our lunches and enjoyed a meal together at morning’s end. Once every couple of months we took the kids on field trips including a MATA bus ride to Davis-Kidd for story time. We continued the program for two years, and now that the kids are all in second and third grade, we still get together once a month for dinner.

Around the house (often while I am making dinner), we play “sink or float.”  I give each of the kids a large bowl/pan of water and some aluminum foil. They craft little boats with the foil and test them out to see if they float. I also find that those little free notepads are great entertainment when I am trying to get things done. I can give my five-year-old a notepad and pen, and she will happily fill every single page with her “notes.”

read more about jennifer’s business at www.strollerfit.com/germantown.

first name: Melissa

age: 34 

current city: Memphis

living situation: loft apartment with husband and daughter (3 years old)

occupation: professional photographer, freelance writer

how do you structure your time and space? Currently we live in a loft, which makes the division of labor a bit tricky. When mom is on the computer, she is also in her daughter’s play space, so it makes working from home challenging. My daughter attends a daycare twice a week for a 6 hour stretches; even with his help, we often find ourselves doing our work after she goes to bed, so I often feel like I never see my husband even if he’s just across the living room! We have ultimately decided to send her to school everyday; she is intensely social, so I don’t feel as guilty about this decision as I once did. I’ve made sure to spend an hour out of her school time for pilates; that’s my church. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? trying to stay present as my daughter’s creativity and imagination blossoms; often she wants to play some hybrid role playing game, and I’m trying not to think about client emails I need to return

-what season(s) might your future hold? Spring – renewal for both of us. Also, my husband and I are blessed with fairly flexible schedules (read: no schedule) due to our freelance jobs. But the flip side of this is little structure and chaotic child care. A lot of my day consists of trying to steal time to edit photos while playing dress up with my daughter. I had always envisioned having two kids, but now I can’t imagine willingly inviting more chaos into our lives. We both have siblings we love dearly, and I’m saddened by the thought of my daughter not having a brother or sister, but I get secretly giddy by the thought of how much more we could do as a family of 3: travel easier, afford to travel easier. Our daughter would be that cool kid who gets to bring a friend along for awesome excursions. We wouldn’t have to split further our already fractured attention spans between 2 kids. Even better, more time with the husband, and time to revel in being his girl, not just the mama of his kids. But even the act of writing this makes me feel guilty. Another awesome kid? Why wouldn’t we try to move heaven and earth and our schedules around to have one of those?

favorite family activities: walking by the river, Rock N Romp, going to Miss Cordelia’s for groceries and a cookie 

favorite solo activities: pilates, writing at Republic Coffee, taking pictures of downtown Memphis

sources of inspiration: dinner with friends, a glass of wine while cooking dinner

best MakeShift moment: Typing an entry for a fiction contest one handed while rocking my daughter and my dog throwing up at my feet. I can’t say handled the situation gracefully, but I got the sucker done, rocked the kid to sleep and cleaned up the puke. All in a day’s work.  

the first picture was taken at a book signing for melissa’s first book, Veiled Remarks: A Curious Compendium for the Nuptually Inclined. check out melissa’s blog for her fabulous photography and well-crafted tales: http://www.modernmedusahead.blogspot.