name: Lane

age: 36

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of 13 years, Brian, our eight-year-old daughter Sophie, and our five-year-old son, Whit.

occupation: I am a Registered Nurse, working full-time at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where I’ve worked since I completed nursing school 11 years ago. I got my foot in the door on the night shift but took a nine to five outpatient position around the time we wanted to start a family. My current job is in clinical research, which is not very nurse-y, but it is immensely challenging and intellectually satisfying. I assist the MD researchers in collecting, organizing, and analyzing data to answer the questions posed to improve clinical outcomes for our patients and beyond.

how do you structure your time and space? I would call our work-family life “modern traditional.” Our babies were in full-time workweek daycare from four months of age and now have transitioned to school life with full-time on-campus aftercare. Our children have had wonderful caregivers both in daycare and in aftercare, and we are so thankful that we have rarely had to question those choices. We also have very willing, loving, and helpful family in town, and have been blessed again with supervisors and coworkers along the journey who are flexible and understanding when a family’s little hiccups occur. Thankfully, the hiccups have been small and well timed. What good fortune we have had!

We divide pretty much every household task in our family 50/50. Bedtimes and dinner clean-up are alternating nights, hubs does carpool drop-off in the morning and I do afternoon pickup, et cetera. Other tasks are 50/50 in that I never do trash duty, laundry folding, or bug squashing (to name a few things), and he rarely has the weekly grocery job or bill minding. There are some chores that come down to the good old fashioned “Mexican stand off” – how long can one tolerate the dog fur tumbleweeds or ignore clean dishes waiting in the washer before one of us just caves. As they’ve become old enough, our children have inherited some tasks such as setting the table and putting folded clothes in their drawers. The hope is that as they grow, they will help more and more with their share.

There is a lot that just doesn’t get done in a timely manner, or at all!
 
Weekends are packed with errands, play dates, and general “getting-it-done;” I have lists of my lists and delight in crossing things off. I have admitted numerous times that I go to work to relax. We are also experts on anything and everything that can be accomplished/purchased online (and we are ready to support a local internet grocery service, hint hint!!). I think we also do a pretty good job of making sure we each have some time to spend however we choose, no questions asked.
 
When the kids were very small, we thought daily life was pretty hectic (and it was) but school-age has brought a new challenges and adjustments to our well oiled machine (did I mention I was type A?). Strict baby schedules have now relaxed to accommodate swim meets or ill-timed birthday parties, and more and more often we find ourselves splitting the kids and the errands/social opportunities down the middle. We have to juggle changes on the fly more often these days. Fortunately, we manage to have dinner as a family four or five times a week (frozen pizza definitely counts!), a habit that I hope we will be able to maintain as our kids wander farther from our nest. We have a pretty lengthy bedtime routine that strengthens our parent-child connections. Early bedtimes for the kids, and late ones for us allow my husband and me to have some quiet time that often takes the form of multi-tasking in front of favorite TV shows. Growing children also means that we can get out more easily or gather with similarly situated friends and lock ourselves (with the wine) in the dining room while the kids wreak havoc and stay up too late.

Each stage has definitely had its pros and cons.  

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’ve often felt as if I am a woman transported in time from the Forties or Fifties. I have a vocation that has been historically held by women, and with my love of sewing, baking, and other domestic arts, I wonder if I’m channeling June Cleaver.

 I was raised in an intact traditional home with lots of love and plenty of advantages. (In fact, I recently moved across the street from my parents who still live in my childhood home.) Many of my childhood experiences are being shared almost verbatim with my children (choice of school, church, home, and some human values). I struggle with how to blend the “wholesomey goodness” I knew from childhood with the hard realities of this modern life and the opinions I have developed through study, experience, or happenstance. I am so thankful for the childhood I have known and the family who gave it to me. So why don’t I want to duplicate it completely for my family now that I am a parent? How do I construct a new iteration of family without following the pattern I know? How can I keep my favorite parts without passing judgement on the outdated, abandoned ways?
 
Thankfully I have some great role models around me, but largely I feel out of place in most circles because there’s just enough that is different about my situation that it seems like I’m always asking for exceptions or favors. Could we meet after six o’clock? Can’t we do this by phone instead of in person? May I take a two-hour lunch to “run” home and participate in my child’s class party? Will you have childcare available for this event? I know this is not unique, but in my mind, I always seem to be the one needing something more. I’m getting used to it, and some of these problems are getting easier because other parents with similar conflicts have opened the doors ahead of me, but I think about it a lot.
 
I feel like we have now reached the height of our summer season. Since shedding diapers, sippycups, naps, and the extra luggage that holds them, I feel like a kid who has stashed her school bag in the closet for a nice, long break. Our children are fun, expressive, imaginative, but still agreeable, easily entertained, and most importantly, they still enjoy being around us.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Early motherhood was a long, hard winter for me. Although we joyously anticipated the arrival of our first child, it took me over a year to completely submit to motherhood and the undeniable changes that accompanied it. I realize now that I much prefer my babies talking and self-feeding, thankyouverymuch, and that the post-partum period can last a very long time. Again, work was a refuge for me during this challenging time. I could come home from work and look forward to the time I had with my small children, knowing that I also had time in an adult world. I always knew my personality was not suited for staying home, even though working full time is not easy. Either way, it’s exhausting! Our strictly-defined schedules were simultaneously confining and comforting.

-what season(s) might your future hold? My daughter is approaching the pre-teen/tween stage all too fast. I don’t even want to start thinking about that season. Summer forever! 

favorite family activities: Wii games, board games, crafting, playing outside

favorite solo activities: creative arts of all types, especially sewing and paper crafting; baking when there’s time

source(s) of inspiration: I am constantly stealing ideas for crafts from any source (friends, etsy, lowe’s circular, and boutique clothing catalogs). I suffer from the delusion that I could replicate most beautiful things if I had enough time and money, and the proper tools. Never mind that it’s plagiarism or just not worth the trouble; I just love a creative challenge. 

best MakeShift moment: One day at work I found that I had forgotten to include the very important collection bottles that hook to the breast pump (regarding breastfeeding: I have never been so proud of myself for keeping it up for over six months with each baby, and also so thrilled to quit!). Knowing I couldn’t make it all day without pumping, I snagged some urine specimen cups from the supply cart, rigged them up to the pump, and stayed on schedule. They are sterile, after all! 
 
The first summer after our daughter was potty trained, we worried how this progress would affect the ten-hour drive to and from the beach for our family vacation. (Would we stop every 30 minutes versus every couple of hours?) That year, we packed the plastic training potty in the back and were glad to have it ! Several times, including on an exit ramp in Birmingham just blocks from several gas stations, we pulled out that potty and sat her on it, proud as we could be that Sophie had avoided an “accident”! I can’t imagine trying to help a newly-trained girl “go tee-tee” without giving her a place to sit.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Betty

age: 56

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband Larry. My daughter Lulu (19) lives with us when she’s not at college. My stepson Tyler (19) just moved back to PA with his mom, and my stepdaughter Lindsay (23) just moved out into her own apartment with her boyfriend.

occupation: I am a writer. I currently run a blog called What Gives 365. Every day for 365 days, I give $100 to causes, people, and organizations that I believe are doing good work and are worthy of support. And every day, I write about why I chose to give– which hopefully will inspire other people to give a few bucks of their hard-earned money, too. I’ve also written two tragi-comic books on motherhood: I’m Too Sexy For My Volvo: A Mom’s Guide to Staying Fabulous! and The Agony and The Agony: Raising Your Teenager without Losing Your Mind.

how do you structure your time and space? I work at home. I’ve converted the third floor bedroom into my writing lair. I love it because it’s far from the kitchen, and I can’t find anything to clean, eat or distract myself with up here – plus I have a great view of the trees. I generally come up here with coffee at about seven or eight a.m. I stay up here writing until I post my blog  (about noon). Then, I’ll go to tennis or just eat something. I return to work during the afternoon and sometimes at night as well. When my kids are home, I’m much less of a workaholic. When they’re not, I’m working pretty much all the time, at least for now.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I guess I’m in autumn. I am winding down in the parental role, having to figure out the next scenario with my husband, figuring out what to do with my talents and abilities in the next stage, wanting to earn money without being a slave to it, and negotiating my independence versus my need for intimacy. I spend time wondering who I am when I’m not a day-to-day mom anymore, and wondering if the best part of life is behind me. As I try to get okay with being older, I wonder if this is the stage of life when everybody starts to die on you. I am happy and often even exhilarated, but I also kind of wait for the ax to fall or the frost to come. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer. It was the end of having the kids living at home. It was a time of a lot of activity, the frenzy of coming changes, sweetness, ripeness, and the sense of things ending. I wanted to hold on and not let go because I knew that things would soon be colder and emptier. I had the feeling of impending loneliness, but with this came a greater appreciation of the beauty of the moment. And there were a lot of episodes of feeling very hot. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? Winter, death, the end. The only good news is grandchildren! But, there is always the possibility of rebirth!!!

favorite family activities: traveling, entertaining, going to movies and college events, watching television, playing board games, going to church, getting together with friends, going shopping or to the movies with my daughter, visiting with my step-kids and seeing them grow, cooking, and talking, and laughing

favorite solo activities: gardening, tennis, reading, visiting with girlfriends and family, writing, traveling, and taking courses at the college where my husband works.

source(s) of inspiration: The New Yorker, the Bible, music, poetry, books, movies, the Internet, nature, my church, other people

best MakeShift moment: For some reason, a couple of years back, my home got chosen to be on the Tour of Homes in Brookhaven  in the “garden” category. Given all the ultra fancy backyards in this area with gobs of landscaping, ours is pathetic – no pool, no grand sculptures, no mazes or topiaries, nada. So my friend and I decided we were just going to go with the kitschy look – and since it was late October, I created a scary haunted house thing with hanging spiders; cobwebs; lots of skeletons; a sitting Freddy Krueger; a dried ice fire pit; creepy lighting; and tons of flowers, haystacks, and pumpkins. It ended up looking really cute and fun — not glam, for sure — but definitely creative, and entertaining, and cool. I was kind of proud of that.

find betty on the web:

• blog: http://whatgives365.wordpress.com/
• the agony and the agony: http://www.amazon.com/Agony-Raising-Teenager-without-Losing/dp/1600940749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282134454&sr=1-1 
• i’m too sexy for my volvo: http://www.amazon.com/Im-Too-Sexy-My-Volvo/dp/1593375026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282135806&sr=1-1

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Elise McKinnon

age: 36 for a few more weeks

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live with my husband, Leonard; daughter, Audrey (age nine); son, Edward (age eight); needy Border Collie/Beagle mix, Dash; perfect cat, Anna; and foster puppy, Sammie.

how do you structure your time and space? Hah! I don’t. Any sense of organization I ever had went right out the window after my children were born. My house is a mess – everyday. Dinner is a surprise every night. Until recently, the only constants in our home were bedtimes, school times (for the kids), and morning exercise for me. In April I returned to work part-time, and I’ve tried to create some structure since then but I have found that the more I try to create a sense of order, the more the cosmos conspire to put a wrench in everything. In general, I do my very best each day to subvert society by refusing to multi-task.  This includes talking on the phone while I drive, doing anything while I eat, ironing clothes while I brush the dog with one foot, or anything else that sacrifices quality for quantity. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I don’t think I was born to be a mother as some women were – or believe they were. I am an only child, so the sibling dynamic is something for which I have no frame of reference. The bickering, posturing and bartering can make for exasperating background noise, at times. But when they giggle together, and they don’t know I’m listening – that’s music. I love my children, and they surprise and delight me each and every day but my nurturing instincts aren’t always particularly strong. I spend a lot of time lost in the forest and, on the off-chance that I do happen to notice an individual tree, I usually go after it with an axe. So, I spend a lot of time saying, “I’m sorry.” I always said I’d never be one of those mothers who over-schedules her children, but I do love watching Audrey and Edward try new things and discover new talents. Even more than that, I enjoy watching them work hard for things that don’t come easily for them and being there when they succeed. The biggest challenge, and it seems to be getting bigger, is carving out time for Leonard and me to be alone. The best time of my life was when we were dating, and I miss the ability to spontaneously take off for the weekend or just lie around the house doing nothing.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Probably springtime. I loved being single and living alone with everything in front of me. Right after college, I moved to DC and worked on Capitol Hill for several years. It was electric! Most of my circle here in Memphis got married right out of college – something I can’t even imagine having done. I don’t know who I would be if I hadn’t had the opportunity to be just me– not someone’s daughter, wife, mother, et cetera.  When I was single, I felt strong – in bloom – just like spring’s promise.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Today the heat index is 117 degrees, so I can’t think of anything more pleasing than winter. BUT, if we remove the metaphor, what I hope the future holds is a chance to live someplace else. I miss being an easy drive from the beach or the mountains. I would love for my family to live in another country and experience another world-view. 

favorite family activities: going to the beach, hiking, riding bikes, going to the movies, eating out together

favorite solo activities: running, reading, traveling, playing the piano

source(s) of inspiration: good writing, dry humor, and waves crashing on a shore

best MakeShift moment: My life is one gi-normous makeshift moment. I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to one.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Maria Bergius Krämer

age: 35

current city: Malmö, Sweden

living situation: I am married with one child, a daughter born in October of 2003.

occupation: Priest in the Church of Sweden

how do you structure your time and space? Both my husband and I work full time, but since my husband is a teacher, his days are shorter and less weird than mine are. I usually take our daughter to school, and he picks her up. In general, he is the primary parent. He is gone way less than I am, has shorter days (almost no evening work) and does not work on the weekends.

Our daughter also is enrolled in the after school program, since school ends at 1:00 p.m. She is picked up at 4:00. Sweden subsidizes this heavily. During her life we have never had to pay more than 150 dollars a month for daycare or kindergarten.

We have always been careful to give each other “own-time”. We see a lot of friends and do things together, but also make sure that both of us spend time on things we enjoy on our own. For example: I am off on Fridays, and even though the personnel at the daycare clearly state that when a parent is off, the child should be too, I have always claimed that time as reading/studying time, and let her be at the daycare center that day. On these days, I tend to pick her up a little earlier, but still. She is happy with her friends, and I get my space.

Since our daughter was four months old, we have always made sure that she is okay with being looked after by others, as long as the evening routine is observed. This has given us opportunities to go out to see movies, et cetera.

Regarding our space, we live in a small apartment right in the center of the city in a bohemian, multi-cultural neighborhood. We moved here when our daughter was four. It was a deliberate choice. Before, we lived in a big suburban semi-attached house with a garden. For many, that must be the ideal place to bring a child up, but not for us. We disliked the commute, which forced us to buy a car; we disliked being away from friends; and most of all, we disliked living somewhere where our child would only encounter one kind of people – semi-affluent ethnic Swedes. So we moved, and living here we are so close to everything that we do not need the car anymore. Our daughter sees different ethnicities every day, plays with friends from Lebanon and Bosnia, and we have a 24-hour pharmacy right around the corner. We had to throw away lots and lots of things to fit into our three-room apartment, but it works, and we are happy here.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This was a tricky one. Our daughter is becoming quite independent. They say that six-and-a-half-year-olds are mini teens, and that is very true. She argues with us, and rolls her eyes and stomps away, but at the same time, she is super inquisitive, helpful, and sweet. I would say I am still in the spring of motherhood. There are new things to be discovered every day, new growth and development. We do creative things, bike all over town, shop, and laugh a lot.

But to be sure, challenges abound too. I think I, along with most mothers, carry a lot of guilt for not spending enough time with our children. And yet, there has to be balance. There are mothers who find fulfilment in spending all of their waking hours (and some of the sleeping ones too) with their children, but I am not like that. And she is not like that either. It is difficult finding your own way when it clashes with many expectations and ideas about what is right. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? We have led a harmonious and peaceful life for quite some time. We found our places and roles after a period of winter, the long and difficult first three months of our daughter’s life. It was difficult getting used to being parents, and she was always ill. Never seriously, just constantly sniffling and coughing and unhappy. But it all changed. Provocatively enough for some, it changed when we stopped breast feeding and taught little baby to sleep through the night in her own bed. I know this is not for everyone, but it saved us.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I look forward to a lot of things. There will be stormy times and peaceful times. Our daughter will alienate herself and hopefully come back. It is all meant to be. I hope there will be a summer, a beautiful season when growth is not as explosive and turbulent as during spring, when there is time for conversation and relaxation and sipping lemonade in the shade. When she is old enough to enjoy being with us just because it is us, not because she has to.

And yes, I look forward to the autumn of motherhood too. Sometimes my daughter claims that she does not want children, and I hope she changes her mind. Whomever she meets in the future, I hope that person will love her as much as I do and give her security and fun and adventure and tenderness.

favorite family activities: We do a lot of creative things together. One day we build a tee pee for our daughter’s barbie dolls. another day, she and I make bead necklaces. The next day she wants our help with the bow and arrow she is making, and we often go to a couple of friends’ houses to play and have dinner. We live a very social life with friends visiting often. We play board games and go to the park.

favorite solo activities: When I am alone, I leave the house to walk the city. I go in and out of stores, gathering inspiration more than shopping, and I sit at cafés and watch people. At night, I am usually found in front of the computer, chatting with friends and reading blogs. Or my husband and I sit in our corners on the couch and read books, every now and then sharing something interesting, while drinking tea.

source(s) of inspiration: I draw inspiration for motherhood from friends, my mother, and the Swedish controversial mothering guru Anna Wahlgren. She is very outspoken, and sometimes I cringe when I read her books, but in many ways we have found that her advice has been sound and helpful.

best MakeShift moment: Sometimes, being a priest puts a lot of strain on families like mine that come from non-churchy backgrounds. It is difficult for our families to understand why I have to work each Christmas and Easter. We, too, want to spend that time together as much as possible, which has caused some interesting solutions to be worked out. One year, when I had enlisted my husband to be a reader in the Christmas midnight mass, we had our daughter sleeping in the vestry (priestly wardrobe). The year after, during the Easter vigil, she slept while we carried her from home, to my office, to the church and all through the vigil (where the organ played at it’s loudest and bells were ringing), and from the service to the Easter party afterwards. She was still asleep when we put her to bed at two in the morning, and had no recollection of it at all the day after. The things poor pastors’ kids are put through! *smiles*

find maria on the web:

• priest girl: http://prastflickan.blogspot.com/
• priest girls’ sermons and stories: http://prastflickealster.blogspot.com/
• clergy chicks traveling blog: http://clergychicksatraveling.blogspot.com/

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Jenn

age: 32

current city: Chicago

living situation: I live with my husband, Tom, our one-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, and our six-year-old pooch, Rowdy, in the neighborhood of Logan Square. Despite the smaller square footage that is often inevitable in urban living, we have loved starting our family in the city and I will continue to maximize every square inch of our condo (you’re welcome, Container Store) so that we can raise Elizabeth as a city-dweller.

occupation: first grade teacher

how do you structure your time and space? Sometimes it feels like I’m “juggling” time and space instead of “structuring” them. My husband’s work schedule changes week to week, which created quite the juggernaut when it came to finding childcare. After countless phone calls, emails, and conversations that ended with “this just doesn’t seem to suit our needs, thank you for your time,” I scoured our neighborhood parent email list for any insights. This led us to a small, cheerful, and cozy daycare that is not only two blocks away, but also totally flexible and responsive to our crazy scheduling needs. The daycare has been an absolute lifesaver, and I love knowing that Elizabeth is already part of a little community of kids (that’s the teacher in me).

Because I am a teacher of young children, my work days are pretty much saturated with the needs, quirks, and personalities of kids, so I am very careful to handle all student-related issues at work (or on the bus on the way home – I begrudgingly decided that adding my work email to my phone can make my commute productive) so that I can focus on the needs of my own child when I’m home.

At home, my husband and I have made sure to keep Elizabeth’s bedtime consistent and the bedtime ritual short and sweet so that we can have time to actually sit down to dinner together after she’s in bed. I love this time of day. It’s our chance to have face-to-face talks and just unwind after a busy day of working and parenting.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? First of all, it’s always dangerous to ask a Chicagoan anything that pertains to weather! That said, a clear blue sky shines outside my window and the flowers in my pots on the balcony are blooming like crazy, so I’ll choose to forget that I live in a city where winter’s grip can be paralyzing.

Today’s blue sky is perfect for where I am in my life these days. I’m off work, enjoying so many little moments with Elizabeth: her first steps; her symphony of babbles, coos, and first words; and the unbridled excitement with which she greets each day. This is like having another maternity leave, although this time it’s with a baby who is, to be completely honest, so much more fun than she was during my actual maternity leave (plus, this time I’m not fretting away about milk supply or frantically calculating how much sleep I might get if I go to bed right now). I love having the time to take long walks with my husband, Elizabeth, and our dog; opportunities for extended coffee & cocktail dates with friends; and time to hit the gym on a regular basis. The only challenge of this season is knowing that it will end!

-what season(s) preceded this one? During the months right before and immediately after Elizabeth’s birth, I was in a holding pattern for a while: straddling those last cold, dark days of winter and the early blossoming of spring’s promise. When I was six months pregnant, my youngest brother, Will, died in a car accident. He was only 19. The shock, the sadness, and the emptiness took my breath away over and over again. Will died in late March, just when winter was ending, but it felt like winter was all around me, despite Mother Nature’s signs. It turns out that Elizabeth, who was born less than four months after Will died, was my spring: full of promise and potential; always growing; constantly blooming. I, of course, have nurtured her, but she also nurtured me out of those dark days into a peaceful and abundant spring. I deeply miss Will every day and I know that I’ll never be completely the same without him, but Elizabeth has been my redemption.

-what season(s) might your future hold? “In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.” So said Albert Camus. For a few months after Elizabeth was born, I thought about this quotation a lot (it was a preferred badge during my graduate school phase of “decorate the apartment with quotes”), and I thought that Elizabeth was, both literally and figuratively, the “invincible summer” within me. But, as my grief over losing my brother has dissipated a bit, my perspective has become much broader. I see that not only Elizabeth, but also my husband, my siblings, my family, my friends, my love of my career, and—most importantly—my own spirit and resilience in the face of a cruel winter are the seeds for future summers.

favorite family activities: Our family is scattered across the country, so traveling continues to be a favorite pastime, baby and all. We also love taking walks, visiting our friends around the city, and taking advantage of Chicago’s plentiful parks, most especially the swings!

favorite solo activities: My husband indulged my fascination with photography and gave me a great camera—a Nikon D3000 DSLR—for Mother’s Day, so I am beginning to learn more about photography. I really enjoy seeking out small moments of interest or beauty and snapping a photo. I love reading, although I don’t do as much of it now as I used to. Oh, I am also a very amateur urban gardener with a nice collection of flower pots adding color to my balcony.

source(s) of inspiration: My husband, Tom, is an ER Nurse at a Level 1 Trauma hospital that serves some of Chicago’s poorest, most dangerous neighborhoods. He sees patients who are at the lowest possible points in their lives. He always reaches out to them with humanity and grace, finding great joy and meaning in his work. I stand in awe when he tells me about his days at work.

My sister, Elizabeth is younger than I am but I look up to her a lot. She has never been afraid to be wholly true to herself, which is precisely why we named our daughter after her.

best MakeShift moment: My best MakeShift moment occurred the first time I traveled solo with Elizabeth. I was feeling together, organized, and on top of things after wrangling a car seat, Snap ‘N’ Go base, diaper bag, breast pump, and eight-week-old Elizabeth through the ticket counter, security line, and drop-off point for the X-Ray machine. As I reached to take Elizabeth out of her seat, I saw that she was absolutely covered in poop. It was everywhere. As I went to grab her car seat off the conveyor belt so that I could put her down and regroup, the TSA guys said, “sorry, ma’m, you can’t take that off the belt once you’ve put it down.” So, I looked at him with a withering look and said, without a trace of irony, “Oh, so you’ll hold her, then?” Needless to say, I got the car seat back. (And I learned that it’s not a bad idea to pack my own spare shirt when tossing an extra Onesie in the diaper bag.)

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Amy

age: 30

current city: Jackson, MS

living situation: Our family consists of my husband, my three-year-old girl, two labs, a tabby cat, and me.

occupation: I am a stay-at-home-mom and owner/sole seamstress of a small children’s clothing line called Brownie Goose.

how do you structure your time and space? This is something that I struggle with on a daily basis. I wish I had the right answer and a better way. I try, try, try to keep my “business time” away from my home time, but since my “office/sewing room” is at my home, and I am a stay-at-home mom, this becomes quite difficult. I try to only sew when my child sleeps. But this has become quite difficult as she is getting older and not wanting to nap as often or as long. Sometimes I will sneak to my sewing room when she is preoccupied with books or blocks or baby dolls, but then I am always questioning myself and  thinking that I would rather be playing with her.

I recently started a day that I do nothing but worry about household duties. Wednesdays are the days that “the maid comes.” Don’t get jealous; I am the maid, and I spend every hour of Wednesdays doing laundry, dusting, vacuuming, loading and unloading the dishwasher, and cleaning toilets and tubs. So far, this has worked well for me. Since I have the whole day set aside, I focus and usually do a good job of getting it all done.

With my business, certain times are busier than others. I try hard to take time out of the week to do something fun for my daughter and me so that it isn’t always work, work, work. But, unfortunately at the end of the day, just like every other business owner (and I use the term business lightly since I don’t have a store with employees and such) I lament that my work is not done. I will lie awake in bed making lists in my head of things that must be done the next day, emails that need to be returned, orders that must be shipped, et cetera.

My favorite time of the day is when my husband gets home from work and we take the dogs and my daughter on a walk. We do this every afternoon, barring torrential downpours, (although we have been stuck in a few of those, but I love the rain, so I never mind) and other cases of extreme weather. I think this keeps me sane.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I am right on target with this summer season. I am enjoying the extended daylight, more time with my family (dogs included), the lightning bugs, the chance to play in the water, popsicles, and later nights. This time always makes me smile because it reminds me of when I was young. My business is between two busy seasons, and so I have a lot of down time in which I am thoroughly enjoying the calm before the storm. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? I think I would have to say winter. I don’t care for cold weather, and I think of winter as being very dark and dreary. I spent a lot of my time hung up in my business instead of with my family, where I should have been. I never regret things. Instead, I just am thankful for the lessons learned. For now, I know how I don’t want my business to run my life. I spent countless hours in my sewing room into the wee hours of the night running myself ragged and spending more time worrying about things than I should have. Unfortunately, a miscarriage is what woke me up. In the dark, dark month that followed my miscarriage, I did a lot of soul-searching and trying to figure out where I wanted to be in life. Thankfully, I learned that at the end of the day, it is not my clothing line that defines me, but my family. So, with this newfound insight, I changed a few things with my business and will now be running it differently… I hope.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I hope that spring and fall are in my future. I love both of these seasons, mostly because of the beautiful weather that they bring. It is always rejuvenating and refreshing for me. I have a lot going on in the next few months to a year. I am excited about every last stinking thing too.

favorite family activity/activities: As I mentioned earlier, I really enjoy our afternoon walks with the dogs. I am a huge animal person, and this activity calms me like no other. At the end of our walks (since we live on a cul-de-sac) we always tell our daughter she can get out and walk, and it brings such incredible joy to me to watch her walk, run, or skip down the street, carefree, with her hair blowing in the wind. This sight, along with the dogs’ wagging tails, always makes me smile.

My husband and I also like to renovate, which is a blessing and curse sometimes. But it really is fun getting down and working and building and creating spaces that are ours. I am super-duper lucky that he is as handy as he is! Did I mention that my fabulous sewing room was done all by him? Yes, he is fabulous.

favorite solo activities: Oh, I love to read. I can sit with my nose in a book for hours. I also love to sew, obviously, and can sit in front of my sewing machine for hours at a time with music in the background and be just as happy as a bug in a rug. I also can sit on a beach from sun-up to sun-down with no problem. I grew up on the beach, and am now land-locked so this is something that I miss.

source(s) of inspiration: I’m inspired by thunderstorms and music. Makes me sound like a hippie, huh?

best MakeShift moment: When I am in crunch-time with my business, and orders must be completed by certain dates, I have to throw the whole “sew only while she sleeps” rule out the window. Instead, I bring her in my sewing room and let her have tea parties…with actual water. Usually I do not allow the water, but on certain occasions, I do. I put down towels and just let her play. Water keeps her occupied for very long periods of time. She will usually sing songs, and it is so sweet to hear her while I am sewing away.

find amy on the web:

• blog: http://amysnorris.blogspot.com
• business: http://www.browniegoose.com

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

so sorry for the infrequent posting lately. i am spending the month of july in the mountains with my family.

besides the fact that it takes longer to connect to the internet here than it does to put a hyped-up almost-four-year-old to bed, i keep getting lured away from the computer by scenes like this:

i will return to my regular posting in august, but until then, please nominate yourselves and others for my “mothers of invention” feature. the questionnaire and my email address can be found in the sidebar to your right.

also, we’ll kick off the upcoming school year with a second volume of the “dancing in the kitchen mix.” if you have music suggestions that are upbeat, kid-friendly, and do *NOT* lend themselves to saccharine and mind-numbing hand motions, please send them my way!

i’ll be using this blog break to brainstorm about future post topics and other creative ideas for this space. please feel free to make suggestions regarding future content.

hope to hear from you soon!

first name: Cindi

age: 38

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live with my husband of ten years, Mike, our five-year-old, Fifi (Sophie), and our two-year-old, Davis.

occupation: Director of the Buckman Performing and Fine Arts Center at St. Mary’s School

how do you structure your time and space?  Even though I work full-time, I want my kids to know they come first. It’s important that I drive them to and from school. I’m very protective of any time outside of work, since I often have an unpredictable schedule with evening and weekend engagements. Any time off is strictly reserved for my kiddos. I’ll take a Saturday night at Chick-fil-A over a pedi or a massage.

My husband works full time as a Multi-Media Developer and web designer and plays drums in a band on the weekends. We believe that the best way to be good for our kids is to be good to each other. So, Wednesday is date night; no exceptions. We also escape for a weekend alone in New York together once a year.

I wake up at 4:20 every weekday morning to run six and a half miles before the family gets up. It’s my only self-indulgent time when no one can bother me. With Mike’s help, I get the kids fed, dressed and strapped in the car by 7:20 a.m, and rush for Fifi’s school. My son goes to Parents Day Out two days a week and stays at home three days a week with Angelica, our nanny of five years, who might as well be a grandma to him. I do my office work at the theater between 7:45 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. When my kids get out of school, they take classes at the theater (violin and ballet) until I leave work at 4:30 p.m. Then it’s family time, with all of its necessary steps: homework, dinner, household chores, laundry, dishes, trash, pet care, baths, story time, bedtime and lights out by 8 p.m. I go back to work from my home laptop until the dryer and dishwasher stop. After folding and putting away laundry, I fall into bed by 11 p.m.

On weekends, I have my stage shows, art opening, independent film series and children’s events. Inevitably, my hubbie and I have overlaps with shows on the weekends. When that happens, we have to rely on a sitter or family. When all else fails, my theater occasionally adopts some very short ushers. We operate on a chaotic schedule in the school year, but have wonderful fall, winter and spring breaks and reduced hours and vacation in the summer.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This is my summer. My children are in full bloom! My greatest challenge is getting caught in the rush of today and losing perspective of the big picture of my children’s sweet lives. This is probably the busiest and most fulfilling my life will ever be. I don’t want to wish it away with the hectic climate we live in. I try to freeze moments in my mind, like swinging on my mother’s porch swing with my kids and singing last night. This is the best time when they are still happy to see and be seen with me and don’t talk back. I don’t want to forget a moment of it.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Spring! It was a time of preparing for and anticipating our little family, doing everything for the first time in my career, and adjusting to life as a newlywed and a mother-to-be.

-what season(s) might your future hold? In the next twenty years, it will be my fall. A time for harvest and reaping what I sew, my children will take on lives of their own, and my role as mother will shift from a daily caregiver to adviser, comforter, financier and taxi driver. It will be a time for new growth perhaps in my career and a time of renewal for my husband and me.

favorite family activity/activities: We love singing, dancing and listening to music together (not in a creepy Von Trap sort of way). Watching the kids choreograph and belt out their interpretations of songs and turn our fireplace into a stage is high art to us. We get a kick out of showing our kids the things that we loved when we were young and sharing it all again; Electric Company, Free to Be You and Me, Michael Jackson, the Muppet Show, Bugs Bunny. We love Hide and go Seek, walking to our neighborhood park and feeding the ducks, baking together, and reading (if I try to skip out on story time at night, Fifi is quick to remind say, “But Mommy, you’re supposed to read to your child AT LEAST 20 minutes a day!”

favorite solo activity/activities: My absolute guilty pleasure is Broadway musicals. I’m a contemporary dance junky, as well. If I’m not backstage at one of my shows, chances are I’m in someone else’s audience. For stress relief, I love running and yoga.

Source(s) of inspiration: My Mom–I talk to her every day. Her advice has never been wrong, and she’s so sensitive to the needs of others. She actually cries with me when I have a bad day. My closest friend and co-worker also inspires me. She is the most focused and balanced mother I’ve ever known. She gives me the skinny on how to do it all with grace and charm. And of course, God. I have to believe He is in control of all that is beautiful, good, bad and ugly on this earth.

Best MakeShift moment:In my office, I have a drawer filled with crayons, Mardi Gras beads, play dough, matchbox cars, and most importantly, a roll of bubble wrap. Not only does it occupy and entertain my children, it helps with other kids who find their way outside my office door. There is always a toddler waiting while “Big Sis” is taking ballet class. I also keep a kiddie movie or two with me at all times to be popped into a laptop for entertainment. And nothing beats and i-phone for shopping trips, car rides and general tot occupation!

first name: Sharon

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of almost 15 years and two daughters, ages nine and five.

occupation: I am a full-time mom and a part-time psychologist.

how do you structure your time and space? I work as a psychologist about 15 hours per week on Mondays and Wednesdays (while the kids are in school) and Friday afternoons (when my husband is off work and caring for the kids). I try to do most of the laundry, cleaning, de-cluttering, and other random household and personal tasks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also meet with a group of friends most Tuesdays after lunch to discuss our dreams (both aspirational and nocturnal). Friday mornings I spend with my husband–running errands, having a lunch date, and just generally reconnecting. Weekends are family time. 

It’s a little harder during the summer. I hire a sitter for only the hours I need to see clients, which makes it challenging to keep up with paperwork and housework. But, in general, this schedule works well for our family. I’m happy to have found a rewarding way to stay involved in my profession and keep my license active while also being able to pick the kids up from school most days and chaperon the occasional field trip. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having grown up in Texas, where the seasons are Hot, Hotter, and Slightly Less Hot, I’m having a hard time using the seasons metaphor for my life. But, whatever you want to call it, this is a really good season. We are all happy with our work/school arrangements; we have great friends; our church is a loving and nurturing environment for all of us; and we live within walking distance of our daughters’ school, a first-rate zoo, and several parks and playgrounds.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The previous season was a transitional one for me. I had spent some time as a stay-at-home mom and was ready to find a way to practice psychology again. I had always thought I would simply go back to working in a college counseling center again, but when I received an offer to work at one full-time, I had to face the reality that I just wasn’t willing to give up the flexibility of being able to be present for homework, after-school snacks, and periodic field trips. That was the most difficult “no” I have ever said. Even though I was absolutely certain that it was the right decision, I was terrified that I wouldn’t find a way to be a part-time psychologist and a full-time mom, and that I would lose an important part of who I was. At the time, I wasn’t ready to launch into private practice, but I did find a place where I could work part-time. That work environment ended up being unhealthy for me, but it did provide me the opportunity to learn the skills I needed to eventually go into private practice.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m sure the future holds another transitional phase for me, but I have no idea when that may come about. Until then, I’m just enjoying everything that is great about the current season. This living fully in the present is a new skill for me, but I like it.

favorite family activities: Wii because it allows everyone to participate despite varying skill levels, vacationing (and visiting family) in Texas, board games, going out for sorbet.

favorite solo activities: Reading is my most loved solo activity. I’m usually working my way through several books at the same time—a mixture of non-fiction (especially psychology, neuroscience, religion/spirituality), children’s literature (because it’s fun and provides a special connection with my daughter who reads the same books), and adult fiction. I also enjoy yoga and journaling (the low-tech variety), but I have to admit I am somewhat sporadic with those practices.

sources of inspiration: My friends, my dreams, books, my husband’s sermons and other writings.

best MakeShift moment: I agree with others who have pointed out that parenting is a never-ending series of makeshift moments. But one of my favorite such moments was when my oldest daughter was three. Several of her friends in the seminary housing complex we lived in had butterfly nets, and she really wanted one. We looked everywhere, and there were none to be found in any store. So I took a small needlework hoop, plastic netting some bath toys had come in, a smooth stick from the playground, and some duct tape, and I constructed a little net for her. She loved it and played with it for many months afterward. In fact, it outlasted her friends’ store-bought nets. And the best part is that, as a result of this and other similar moments, my daughter thinks of me as “the parent who fixes things”, which I overheard her telling our younger daughter recently. That is a much better title than “the mom who doesn’t cook”, which is also true, and once prompted my four-year-old to exclaim, “How will we eat?!” when she learned her dad would be out of town for a while.

[if you or someone you know would make a good feature on the MakeShift revolution, please check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Kathi

age: 38 (ouch!)

current city: Hermosa Beach, CA

living situation: I live with my husband, Sean, our four year old daughter, and our two year old son.

occupation: I am what Mary Allison calls “a part-time hybrid mother.” I work full time for my family and part time out in the world as a designer.

how do you structure your time and space? I see the balance challenge as two different ventures. There is the mental balance and the actual logistical balance. The two are intertwined of course, but it is easier to answer this question if I separate them.

The mental side of this equation is the hardest for me. When I am not with the kids physically, I think about them and want to be with them. When I am with the kids physically, I am thinking about what I will accomplish next time I have some “coverage.” It was this way when I worked 40+ hours per week and it is this way now that I work part time. I am not sure if it is innovative or creative, but I am a firm believer in my mommy natural cocktail to help with the mental balance and focus. A morning dosage of peppermint essential oil under the nose forces me to wake up and start the day with a deep breath, mid-morning and afternoon shots of the amino acid L-Theanine really keep my head above ground, and an evening serving of melatonin helps to get me to sleep early. This is a formula that really helps me along with a decent amount of protein and a dash or so of caffeine.

Regarding the logistical balance, until December of ‘09, I worked more than full time outside of the home as a marketing consultant. So for the first four years of motherhood, the balance was entirely different than it has been for the last six months. We now have a nanny who comes ten to eighteen hours per week, depending on my needs and deadlines. I use those hours now to work part-time as a designer and writer. For the last five months I have been working in my home office to design a line of children’s clothing. I blog about these design escapades and my journey of “owning my own motherhood” at www.semi-handmade.com .

The one approach that I use that could seem a little innovative, is that I try not to spend any time away from my kids (while using any sort of paid help) doing something that someone else could do just as well. I’ve had my nanny run one last errand, address envelopes, iron seams, cut patterns, et cetera while I take over with the kiddos.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlights of my current season are definitely the increased quantity and quality of hours I am able to spend with my kiddos. I am savoring the sweetness of this stage in our lives before the kids are both in school more. I am ever so grateful to be away from the corporate world for a while to enjoy being an integral part of the things they are learning and exploring, the questions they are asking, and the emotional intelligence they are building.

Challenges include staying focused and slowing down. After working in a fast-paced, demanding, and results-oriented career for so long, the new pace of my days can sometimes make my brain feel quite fuzzy. I have to try really hard to not measure the day’s success by what we have accomplished, what I can cross off  my list, and how much closer we are toward our “quota.” It took me three months to stop the habit of checking my blackberry at 6:00 every morning and to stop looking for the meeting or client who “needed” me right away.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The first four years of motherhood (2006-2009) were a mixture of pure bliss and great turmoil; I definitely would call that winter. I vividly remember running through airports with bags of breast milk in hand, anxious to get home to see my kiddos before they went to sleep. Sometimes those airplanes were delayed. Sometimes those airplanes were ahead of schedule and I did indeed make it home before they shut their tired eyes. I also will probably always remember being on a business trip for my little guy’s first birthday. Sure we celebrated later that week, but missing the actual date was physically painful for me. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? Literally and figuratively, I would call what lies ahead summer. I think the last time I had the summer off from a full time paying job was in 1986. While I do have a bit of work to do on my designs and writing, the next eight weeks of summer will include a lot of beach days and exploring around our tiny little seaside home and greater LA. I would love to call it an “endless summer” ahead for us, but I am not sure.

favorite family activities: The kids and I love to walk along the beach boardwalk, meeting as many dogs as we can and asking what the dogs’ names are. I am hoping that this summer, stand up paddle boarding and kayaking become a favorite family activities too, as I think this may be the summer of water for us.

favorite solo activities: I love any yoga class that is 65 minutes or less. Any longer than that drives me crazy. I also am enjoying a cardio core class at the gym right now, mainly because there is great music, it makes me sweat, the 55 minutes are a really good use of the time. I really enjoy sewing and knitting as well. I take a lot of photos and I enjoy that, and I am enjoying the results (not the actual process) of learning a bit more about Photoshop.

sources of inspiration: I do not have what fellow Mother of Invention, High Heeled Mom, calls an everything mentor .

When it comes to parenting, I am inspired by my daughter’s teachers at del sol, Janette and Cecilia. I am also inspired by quite a few of the parenting educators at the Center for Non-violent Education and Parenting.

When it comes to design, I am inspired by very random things. Right now I am completely fixated on this old wooden dilapidated bench I saw in the alley behind a Cajun restaurant near our house. I am not sure why but this bench, with its wood that is falling apart and beautifully bleached by the sun, is really sticking with me. It is terrific balance of modern and organic, this bench. Certain fabrics, such as Anna Maria Horners Little Folks Voiles also send me off and running with ideas.

I am also constantly inspired by contrasts. Contrasting colors, textures, lighting, moods…

My children and their friends inspire me in many ways. Their joy and honesty inspires me to find that within myself and tap into my own inner child.

best MakeShift moment: Juggling the corporate career and motherhood made for many MakeShift moments, mostly around breast pumps and conference calls, or breast pumps and public facilities.

Closer to home and more recently, I have had several MakeShift Moments as I balanced the needs of small people in our house with my desire to have a “designer” home, worthy of a “Coastal Living” center spread. A girl can have dreams, right, even if some are materialistic in nature? As function surpasses form these days, I pause, laugh, and try to remember that Martha Stewart’s Crosby-home-visit is not scheduled for some time yet.

When I took down the dining room table in order to make room for a play and art area that was closer to the kitchen, I conceded to the notion that I could have it all, just NOT all at the same time. It hit me that day that I was not going to be having sit down dinner parties while small children where in this house. While I carried the very heavy dining room table to the garage, I knew I was treading in the middle ground. This was the balance appropriate for our stage, and it did not include a dining room.

I had a similar MakeShift moment when we disassembled our bed frame and put our mattress right smack on the floor. This allowed me to stop using up valuable head space visualizing my monkeys jumping off the bed and needing stitches at the ER. A similar MakeShift moment that involved function over form took place just last weekend, when we butted a full-sized mattress right up to our California King-sized mattress. I have never seen that in Coastal Living magazine spreads, have you? But this is our balance. This is who we are — the Crosby Family — as we shift and “re” volve.

check out kathi’s blog at http://www.semi-handmade.com/.