name: Catherine

age: 32

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband Blake; our two boys, Jack (five) and Will (18 months); our Springer Spaniel Bessie; and last but certainly not least, Fred, our friendly squirrel who lives in the front yard. He makes it into all of Jack’s family portraits.

occupation: I work four days-a-week at an all-boys school as the seventh and eighth grade counselor. I love my job, and I love my schedule. It allows me to have the joy of professional fulfillment and adult time, as well as that extra day “off” to be a mom, help at my child’s school, have play dates, run errands, and enjoy some time to myself. Am I busier on my “day off” than the days when I work outside of the home? Yes. Always. 

how do you structure your time and space? We are pretty regimented around our house just because that’s how things work best for us. Perhaps this explains the stresses we had this summer with no schedule! Multi-tasking is definitely the key to our household. I’m not good with clutter, so I’m pretty anal about keeping things neat most of the time. While this is great in some respects, I will say that by 7:15 when all of the small people in my house are snug in their beds, I nearly always melt right into mine.

Our daily routine typically involves my heading to the gym first thing at 5:15ish and arriving home at 6:35 to little people slowly waking up. My husband showers while I start working on kids’ lunches. By 7:25, we are all dressed and mostly fed, and I am ushering everyone out the door, always with a Diet Coke in my hand and an extra one in my purse for later.

My husband is incredibly helpful with everything involving the boys and household chores. There’s no doubt, we couldn’t make it without him. Our nights right now are a little stressful only because he is working late each night. That means that the kids are pretty bored with me and are anxiously for dad to be home regularly for dinnertime soon.

But, typically dinner is at 5:30 with baths shortly after. We play games or read books, and then bedtime it is. I’m not good with any chores after the kids go to sleep. I always hear moms say that’s when they do household chores. Nope, not me. I’m totally done for the day, except maybe some bad reality TV and the latest US Weekly.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? As many mothers would say, a lot of my highlights turn into challenges quickly – especially around the four o’clock hour. The highlights are certainly the innocence Jack exudes when he’s so excited about new experiences and meeting new people. I love feeding into all of that by just being silly and surprising the boys constantly. Some of the highlights are also messy and involve spaghetti explosions or finger painting with ice cream. It’s fun, and hey, it all washes off pretty easily.

Currently, I’m most challenged by/with my “Crazy Will,” as Jack calls him. He’s pretty head-strong, and when he’s unhappy, he’s very unhappy. My challenge comes at the typical witching hour when I’m just worn out. With Blake working late lately, the afternoons seem looonng. He’s also not sleeping through the night right now, so that’s an added bonus. On a positive note, today was a good day, and who knows what tomorrow will bring. It’s funny to me because the day can change so quickly with little guys. I’m certainly much more flexible than I used to be, and I even surprise myself with how things that used to bother me no longer do. I think that’s just a part of motherhood and having to “roll with the punches.” That’s also what makes it a lot of fun!

-what season(s) preceded this one? The past few months have been pretty stormy. With some family medical issues, frustrations dealing with a major construction project, and job stress, I sort of felt deflated ending the summer. I honestly wondered how I would muster the energy to start the school year well. Thankfully, it’s been an incredibly smooth transition. Things fell right into place as they usually do. I have felt rejuvenated by new students and fun colleagues at work, my kiddos have loved their new classrooms and teachers, our family health issues are going really well, and the housing project is moving along rather smoothly. So, do I wonder if the wheels are about to fall off? Maybe just a little but I’m enjoying the smooth ride while I can. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? I think our immediate future holds a lot of busy months that would normally seem stressful, but given all of the plans and projects we have, (and how well they are going right now!!!) I’m just excited about it all. I feel like we are going to have more fun each and every day as Will gets older and can communicate more effectively. Of course, I’m realistic and know it won’t all be rosy, but I do feel hopeful. I think I usually have a negative view of winter because it limits our outside activity, but I’m really looking forward to all the excitement that the next few months will bring. 

 favorite family activities: being silly!!! anything outside, lots of swimming, eating dinner on the patio, dance parties in the kitchen, going to the lakehouse and beach, and Jack and I especially love baking!

favorite solo activities: working out, having wine on the patio while listening to beachy music, reading magazines, planning creative projects that I sometimes start and rarely finish

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by music, my friends, people who are genuinely happy and peaceful, and artists (more specifically painters). When I’m down, my husband inspires me. We are very much each other’s yin and yang.

best MakeShift moment: One of my favorite things about nursing was the ease and convenience of it all. I remember being out all day and not having to pack bottles, and I just thought that was such a blessing. I really hate packing diaper bags! I selfishly loved that it allowed our schedule to be incredibly flexible. I never would have thought about how nursing would actually make things easier, but it certainly did for us.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

wednesday was the monkey’s last day of his first school year. let’s recap some of his newly acquired knowledge, shall we? he has learned…

1. that god “just keeps on making him special.” nice process theology, son.
2. that when school’s out, it’s summer, and when it’s summer, you’d better find some shade.
3. that “addie and brice are dating. this means that addie is brice’s special friend, and brice is addie’s special friend.” [names changed to protect the socially advanced.]
4. to count for hours, cut out shapes, and observe the weather.
5. to mark certain occasions by bursting into song. for example, if someone reappears after being absent, it is customary to sing, ” we’re really glad you’re back… we’re really glad you’re back.”
6. how to draw self portraits:

now for the things that i have learned from the monkey’s first school year. i now know that…

1. good teachers make all the difference in the world. i would send the monkey to the planet neptune for school if i heard that ms. aimee and ms. ann would be there.
2. sharing the dropping-off and fetching responsibilities with my husband is a wonderful convenience.
3. it is okay that i am different from the other moms.
4. the first year of school is just as much about honing the immune systems of children and their entire families (including grandparents) as it is about honing kids’ cognitive skills.
5. the monkey can behave like a monster at home and a boy scout at school.
6. i am really not that different from the other moms.

in case you are worried that my poor child cannot see through all of the curly hair covering his face, we have remedied that problem with a handsome little haircut. now, since it’s summer, i’m going to find some shade.

it happened again yesterday.

i left the children in my husband’s care in the middle of the afternoon, feeling grateful for the flexible nature of his job, as i made my way to my cousin’s high school graduation. if i’m totally honest, i must admit that i was also celebrating that he would get to experience what i affectionately call, “monday night madness.” this is the term i have given to the weekly fight i have with my children as i wake them from their afternoon naps, clothe them, load them into the car for music class (which they love), try to keep them from mistaking the instruments for  cuisine (the bird) and bludgeons (the monkey), extract them from post-class playground time, and arrive home to cook dinner during the “witching hour,” while we wait for daddy to return. 

though i was excited to pass these responsibilities to my husband this week, i was more thrilled with the notion that he might get to see how difficult my job is at times. i dreamed up a scenario in which i would come home to my children, who would be swarming around the couch containing their exhausted daddy. my husband would pull a rag from his shirt pocket, wipe his sweaty brow, shake his head, and say, “mary allison, i simply don’t know how you do this every week!” i would respond humbly, of course, like those citizens on television who have just saved another person’s life. “i guess i’m just in the right place at the right time,” i would say.

this, of course, was not the scene i found when i arrived at home. the laundry was finished, dinner was in the oven, the kitchen was spotless, the kids were clothed and happy, and the transition from naptime to music class had reportedly gone smoothly. my husband made me a cocktail, and i drank it, along with a sea of jealous self-doubt. how does he make my job seem so easy? clearly, he is a superhero, and i am a whiner.

don’t get me wrong. i realize that any problem where the system breakdown includes a spotless kitchen, clean clothes, and a warm supper, is a good problem to have. i also realize that my poor husband, who does such things in order to make me happy, cannot win! 

lesson learned: i cannot depend on someone else’s failures to make me feel like a success. this rule applies especially to my beloved husband, who really does make most struggles seem like a piece of cake.

[side note: music for aardvarks is a favorite activity for my children, so much so that it is worth interrupting the children’s sleep! without it, “monday night madness” would turn to “monday night pandemonium,” a level orange alert that must be avoided whenever possible.]

sunny flordia is indeed sunny. the problem is, it is also windy and cold. it is supposed to warm up tomorrow. in the meantime, the monkey would prefer to do this:

and this:

we would prefer that he not.

so, we’ve had two morning excursions to local strolling, playgrounding, and lunching spots. all have provided our fair share of respite from the wizard-of-oz-like beachside wind.

i, myself, like to find a warm, sunny corner and observe.

but these excursions are not our only makeshift moves this week. i am frequently fretting that my little bird is, well, little. he’s not even on the charts, though the doc says he’s perfectly healthy. if you are wondering just how small he is, he’s about the size of this hole on our third-story condo balcony:

within minutes of our arrival at the beach, my genius husband, creator of this makeshift-yet-fully-functional baby gate, came through again with this solution involving a nearby landscaping brick:

is it bad that our makeshifting often involves trespassing and/or stealing? 

first name: Stacey

age: 37, soon to be 38

current city:  Memphis

living situation: Husband Warren Oster, sons Satchel (7) and Jiro (5)

occupation: I work in Community Relations at Memphis Light Gas and Water, but most people think I make a living as a freelance writer.

how do you structure your time and space? I have a basic 8:30 a.m. – 5 p.m. job, but I have the option of a compressed work week (four ten hour days). I prefer the four day week, but I can’t always make it work. My husband is an archaeologist and a full-time student getting his masters in Elementary Education. He actually has a much more flexible work life/schedule than I do. He ends up taking the kids to work with him or staying home with them if they are sick, he shuttles our younger child to four speech therapy classes every week, et cetera. He also does the bulk of grocery shopping and cooking! This allows me to get my work done at the office and then have time to do interviews, and related work for all of the freelance writing assignments I take on. I used to stay up really late at night (like 1 a.m.) getting everything done, but six months ago I started getting up at 5:30 a.m. to work out. Now I’m lucky if I can stay up past 10 p.m.! Most of the freelance work I do (as well as special projects like Rock-n-Romp) involve my kids. This, along with my husband’s awesomeness, is the only way I can fit in extracurricular activities.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I’m stuck in spring, which I guess is a good place to be. For instance, if you ask me what the date is, I automatically think it is March 26. Isn’t that weird? It’s the day my dad died and also the day Warren and I decided to get married, so it’s kind of a pivotal day, but still, I’m mentally stuck there. Luckily spring is a time of renewal and I seem to always feel like the possibilities are endless and the future is bright.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Winter, maybe? I feel like I was hibernating most of my life, waiting for my big awakening.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I suppose someday there will be an autumn for me, a time to rest and enjoy all of the pretty colors. 

favorite family activities: We love going out to eat, which is evidenced by my Dining with Monkeys blog. We’ve covered about 200 restaurants and are always on the lookout for new places to try. Also a week doesn’t pass that we don’t go hike in the Old Forest of Overton Park. When it’s nice outside, we like to ride our bikes/roller skate/skateboard around town. Swimming at the Memphis Jewish Community Center is another big summertime activity for us. We never miss a Rock-n-Romp. Team Oster (that’s what we call ourselves) also loves a good road trip.

favorite solo activities: I really like my 5:30am workouts, but I don’t do them alone. I have an awesome workout partner, Ashley Harper. Every Tuesday I have roller derby practice (I’m a referee now after skating for two years) followed by drinks at the Cove. It’s one of the highlights of my week. My only truly solo activity would be writing, which I do every single day in some form, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

sources of inspiration: Definitely my kids. 100%. They provide me with never-ending subject matter!

best MakeShift moment: The Hot Pink Paper Clips were scheduled to play Rock-n-Romp last August. The band is composed of four middle school girls. They had been practicing all week in preparation for the show, for which they were SO excited, but three out of four of them came down with the swine flu and had to cancel the night before the show. I remembered that my husband’s boss’s son was in a band at White Station High School, but I wasn’t sure if they were any good. I called my husband’s boss and ran the idea by him. He made some calls and by 9:00 on Friday night we had the Theoretical Monkeys scheduled to play at 3:00 the next afternoon. Luckily, they turned out to be really good. (And they were absolutely darling!) My husband’s boss was especially thrilled, and things really couldn’t have turned out better. The Hot Pink Paper Clips returned to health and played our November show.

find stacey on the web at: 

• www.fertilegroundzine.com
• www.diningwithmonkeys.com
• www.memphisrocknromp.blogspot.com
• www.overtonparkforever.org