name: Ashley

age: 33

current city: Memphis, TN

name: Andrea Shelton

age: 41 

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband, Joe, my two children Spencer (age 14) and Abby (age 11), three dogs, and one cat. 

occupation: founder/president of a prison ministry called HeartBound Ministries; wife; mother; friend

how do you structure your time and space? Ah, striking a balance and structuring time and space is truly the trickiest part of motherhood! My office is at home, which is, for the most part, a good thing. However, there are moments when business and personal collide, such as when business calls come during dinner or family time.

As for childcare, both of my kids are middle schoolers, so I work like crazy when they are in school (8:45 – 3:45), and I try to focus on being a mom when they are at home. It doesn’t always work, but I try. Sometimes I even incorporate the kids into my work. For example, I’ll strike a deal – they can watch television if they agree to stuff or stamp envelopes! It lightens my load, gives them the opportunity to serve (and be entertained), and allows me to meet their physical needs (food, laundry, and house-cleaning) instead of working in my office.

We’ve all heard the phrase “quality vs. quantity,” and to some extent I think that’s true, but I do think there is a lot to be said for quantity – being physically present in the lives of my children. There were times early in my career as an assistant administrative law judge when I left my son with a nanny three days a week. We were a young married couple trying to save for our first home, so we did what we had to do. But my husband and I have always agreed that if we could financially afford it, I would be home. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have jobs that allowed me to earn a living while working at home. One of my bosses actually allowed me to bring my infant son to work for six weeks until I could find suitable child care! I eventually found a nanny I could share with another family. I continued that scenario until I felt it was financially feasible for me to become an independent contractor and work from home. It’s ALWAYS been my desire to be at home with my kids.

I pray, “Lord, please expand my time,” and He does. If I think too much about how I’m going to get it all done, I can get overwhelmed or sink into a feeling of self-pity. But when I remember that I am gifted with the same amount of hours as everyone else, and I ask God for help, I gain a new perspective.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having a teenage son and pre-teen daughter presents both highlights and challenges, but mostly highlights. I’ve loved every season of being a mom, but I really feel that I’m hitting my stride in the latter years. In the beginning when the kids were little, I was full of insecurities – was I doing it right? Now, I see these two lovely young people who are compassionate, intelligent, and fun, and I think, “So far, so good!” They are really such a pleasure!

Physically, I’ve never felt better. I’ve managed to find the time to work out three days a week for 30 minutes at a local sculpt and burn class. I’m not as tired because my kids sleep! Oh, those early years were exhausting! I’m not exactly sure what I’d call this season – we’re not in “the wonder years” any more. But whatever this season is, I’m loving it. What I’m not looking forward to is “the automobile age.” The thought of putting my beloved children into an automobile (or as my dad called it, when he handed me the keys to my first car, “a killing machine”), is almost too much to bear!

-what season(s) preceded this one? preceded this one? The years past were the wonder years, the sleepless years, the anxious years. While I LOVED being the mom of younger children, most of the time I felt like a crumpled up Capri Sun package on the floor of the car. I had all the juice sucked out of me and the kids just kept saying, “Can we have some more??!” 

-what season(s) might your future hold? “The automobile age” (see discussion above) is in my future, and so are the college years. And as funny as it may seem coming from a 41-year-old, I’m already thinking about grandchildren! Time goes SO fast. I really look forward to seeing my children happily married and starting their own families.

favorite family activities: We love to travel, especially to New York City. We try to get away to NYC at least once a year, usually in the fall. I’ve always liked traveling with my kids so that I can experience things through their eyes. My husband and I aren’t the types to leave the kids behind while we jet-set. We like doing things as a family. Another favorite family time is evening dinner. Having dinner together is a TOP priority in this family. If we miss a few dinners together due to sports, I start feeling disconnected. I believe there are two activities that almost guarantee a healthy family – praying and eating together.

favorite solo activities: working out (the Sculpt and Burn class I attend has been life-changing); tap dancing; scrapbooking

source(s) of inspiration: my faith, my family, my friends

best MakeShift moment: Just this week, I let the dog unroll an entire roll of toilet paper while I triedto help a friend. I used to set up a playpen in the bathroom so that I could shower without wondering if someone would choke, drink poison, fall down the stairs, et cetera. I’ve traded babysitting with friends so that each of us could enjoy a night out with our spouse. I’ll host about anything imaginable for my kids (Wyldlife Club, Girl Scouts, Sunday School parties, sleepovers, Domestic Diva Club), so that I can keep a pulse on what is happening in their lives. I am extremely active in their school – my husband and I have started three clubs there. We want our kids to know that we are invested in their lives and the lives of their friends. Sometimes that takes some juggling, but I believe that investment will reap positive returns. I’m already seeing that in the lives of my kids. Perhaps my best MakeShift moments are the countless times I’ve incorporated my kids into volunteer efforts. It could be anything from packing Christmas boxes for children in need to baking for a bake sale.

Also, I’m willing to give up some things to gain others. For example, I don’t have a house cleaning service. I clean my own home (with the help of my kids and husband), and then I can justify using the cost-savings on eating out with my family once or twice a week, or saving for a fantastic trip. MakeShift moments are often about trade offs – what am I willing to sacrifice for what is REALLY important. So what if my house doesn’t get cleaned in a day? Dinner at our favorite restaurant or a fun weekend in New York are more important to me.

find andrea on the web at http://www.heartboundministries.com/

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

[capri sun image is by kris d’amico]

first name: Carol

age: 33

current city: Hermosa Beach, CA  (near Los Angeles)

living situation: I live with my husband and our two boys, ages four and two. We recently added a fish, who only became a member of our family because it was a favor at a birthday party.

occupation: Wedding & Portrait Photographer 

how do you structure your time and space? I currently have an office in our house. I work about 30 hours a week and have a nanny who comes four days a week for the first half of the day. This allows me to have free afternoons with my boys and cook dinner. 

I squeeze in grocery shopping when needed and try to do fewer, bigger trips every other week than many small trips every week. I keep an ongoing list of what’s needed to keep me organized and keep the grocery store time streamlined.

My mother-in-law also comes one day a week to help us. She will take the boys all day and stay either overnight or until bedtime, to ensure that my husband and I have a date night to catch up. I cherish these date nights and uninterrupted conversations! 

I spend many weekend days away shooting weddings or families on location. I feel blessed that my husband enjoys taking care of the boys when I work during the weekend. 

When I get busier in the fall and add fifteen and more hours to my work week, I scrape the help together the best that I can.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I think I have the best of both worlds right now, working at home and being available to my children during the day while they are still young.  It gets tight, space-wise, with my gear and post-production and office work, but I still prefer being close and listening to what’s going on downstairs.   

It can be very frustrating when my family needs me during my work time, since I try to keep the times divided. Sometimes I just have to go to the office and shut the door and ignore the polite little knocks or crying for “mama,” and sometimes I just “arrive” at the office a little later than usual.  It takes will power & patience to work from home, but I wouldn’t trade it. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before I had children four years ago, I was a photographer, only I worked many more (uninterrupted) hours while I was building my business. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? Eventually, when my children are in school for more hours, I would like to have a studio I can go to for my work, and for shooting and meeting with clients.  Also, I would love another assistant and an intern!

Favorite family activity: Loading up the stroller and going to the beach.  It’s the most fun AND easiest place to watch our children, and it wears them out!

favorite solo activities: grocery shopping, jogging, yoga (only once or twice a month). wait… answering this question makes me realize I need more time to do more solo activities.

sources of inspiration: 

• Finding new favorite music- I love Pandora & XM
• Reading my favorite blogs, websites & magazines 
• Gardening with my children
• Fabric shopping ( I don’t really sew but I enjoy looking at the colors and patterns)
• Online photo forum with other photographers

best MakeShift TOOL (i just added this category because its so important): The iphone. I have educational games and filtered YouTube clips downloaded for bribery when an important work phone call comes in during my time with the kids. Usually, I try not to take calls when I’m with them, but sometimes, the “shapes and puzzles” game really comes in handy!  It also comes in handy in doctors offices and airplane trips.  (Search the itunes app store for “toddler teasers,” a shapes, numbers and letters quizzing game, and your two year old will quickly learn to recognize a hexagon!)

best MakeShift moment: One Sunday evening, after a long weekend of celebrating our son’s first birthday, the door bell rang. My mom ran in the kitchen and told me that a couple had arrived to meet with me about their wedding. With all the focus on our house guests and birthday festivities, I completely forgot that I had booked a meeting for that night (another hazard of the home office!). We all looked around and saw the same thing: our place was a disaster with newly opened toys, wrapping paper, suitcases and lingering trays of party food. Luckily, we lived right around the corner from a French pastry & coffee shop. I asked the couple to wait one minute while I quickly gathered my sample albums and laptop (which had a slide show of my work), changed out of my play clothes, and ran out the door. As we walked into the coffee shop, I put my hand in my pocket and luckily found a $20 bill to treat the couple to a tasty treat. Whew!  It turned out to be a great meeting, and eight months later, I photographed their wedding. This makeshift “near crash” moment was only possible because of our “village” that holds us together:  grandparents, friends, and extended family. I don’t know what I would do without all of them and their support. 

find carol on the web:

• website: www.carolreach.com
• blog:  www.carolreach.wordpress.com

[while megan is my latest “mother of invention,” i am the subject of her weekly blogger interview. we’re a mutual adoration society. check us out!] 

first name: Megan

age: 32 (ugg…)

current city: Montclair, VA

living situation: I’m married with two young children. My daughter Sage, is almost four. My son Phoenix, is 14 months.

occupation: Stay-At-Home Mom (SAHM) and Managing Director of Modern Bird Studios (http://www.modernbirdstudios.com).

how do you structure your time and space? Wow. I was hoping you could help me structure my time and space. I barely structure it all! I dabble in some mommy-ing, and then I dabble in the Modern Bird stuff, and I switch back and forth throughout the day. I work from home along with my husband, so my office consists of a couch and a laptop. There are toys strewn about, an overly emotional three-year-old at one ear, and a teething14-month-old tugging on my leg. Peace comes at nap time and bedtime, which is when I get most of my marketing duties done. 

We have a pretty set schedule with the kids. I get ‘em up at 8:00 a.m., feed them breakfast, play, put the baby down for a morning nap, hang with Sage, get the baby up, feed the kids lunch, play, put everyone down for the afternoon nap/quiet time, and do dinner, bath, and finally bed (for the kids) by 7:30 p.m. 

I don’t have much personal time now. The hub would prefer me to take more time for me, but I simply don’t. I probably should. I get up at 5:30 a.m. (did I mention that I abhor waking up early?) three times a week for my workouts so that I can still fit into my clothes while I neglect every other need that I have. That, and I shower everyday. And do my hair and makeup. I can’t stomach not being put together. I just don’t do much else.  If I’m feeling overwhelmed with the Modern Bird stuff, I step away and get outside. Home making?  I used to be so much more on top of it, but the house is still in good order. I clean it once a week, and I force my children to clean up their toys everyday so they don’t choke the rest of the house. Anyway, to answer your question, I’m basically a disaster.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This season brings with it financial challenges and the task of balancing the business with the kiddos. Modern Bird Studios was launched almost four months ago after my husband and I got tired of his sending resumes to every stinking company out there. He was laid off from his job in September of 2009, and I have been a SAHM since June of 2006, when our daughter was born. We’ve been scraping by on his freelance gigs. The guy has mad skills! Have you seen a Modern Bird Studios piece?  We decided to take control in our fate instead of waiting on the job market to improve — something that we couldn’t do anything about.  Luckily, I had a career in business development for seven years before baby number one came along, so I have experience in doing things similar to what I do now. 

The highlights of our current situation are many. We get to work together, and we work well together. Our kids get to see my husband throughout the day when I let him out of his studio to take breaks from creating the pieces to have a few sips of water here and there. Neither one of us has to commute in that crap DC metro traffic. We love what we are doing. It is crazysauce fun! We’ve met so many amazing and generous people, and we have had some great success in both exposure and sales in such a short amount of time. We’ve built lasting relationships, and we’ve even had the opportunity to pay it forward. We feel so blessed about our little company, and we can’t wait to see where it takes us. Plus, our kids are with us as we build it; they will be the heirs of the Modern Bird fortune.  

-What season(s) preceded this one? I would characterize the previous season as one where I played the traditional role of SAHM to two kids and ran around to play dates here and there. I still do that, but I organize a whole lot less of them nowadays. I did have some of those moments where I wondered if I wasted all that time in college since I wasn’t using my education/career experience in my real day-to-day life. This has been one of those internal struggles I’ve been trying to wrap my head around. I am not tempted to re-enter the work force and stop being a SAHM though because for me, being a SAHM is something I highly value. Still, I find myself trying to justify the point of my higher education and former career experience and how these things relate to my current situation.  

-What season(s) might your future hold? My guess is that my future will be highly successful and full of fun, laughter, and joy. I have about five friends who are pregnant right now, and every time I think about it, my womb aches a little, so I’m quite certain we will be adding on one or two more to the Modern Bird under-aged work force. Other than that, I try not to speculate too much. My life has been full of curve balls, so I don’t put too many concrete expectations out there because so much of my life is beyond my control.

Favorite family activity/activities: I think anything that includes sugar is up there on my list of favorite things to do with the family, specifically going for ice cream! I also love the seasonal things we do—pumpkin patch in the fall, hot cocoa in the winter, looking at flowers and playing outside in the spring, and going to the beach in the summer. Oh, and the big family wrestling and tickle fights bring out the big, belly giggles, which I adore.

favorite solo activities: Is this a trick question? I have so little time to myself! I do love to scrapbook. I was so anti-scrapbooking, and then I had kids, and all of sudden, I wanted to do scrapbooking! It’s my own fault for having such cute kids that I love taking pictures of.

sources of inspiration: the beautiful things around me, including my husband and my kids; the beautiful creations of this world; my faith.

best MakeShift moment: Day to-day life with young children is full of makeshift moments, or what I like to refer to as hardcore boardroom negotiations. My MakeShift moments include giving my 14-month-old a toy to get the TV remote from him, and letting my three-year-old rearrange her stuffed animal “friends” for the millionth time if it means she will settle down and take her nap.

find megan on the web:

• modern bird studios: http://www.modernbirdstudios.com/
• blog: http://www.modernbirdstudios.com/blog
• twitter: modern_bird

first name: Erin

age: 31

current city:  Birmingham, AL

living situation: I live in a house with my husband, 21-month old son, and our golden retriever named Atticus. We are expecting a baby in September.

occupation: Photographer, self-employed. My  husband and I are both photographers who run our business together. I shoot mostly kids and family sessions, he does commercial work, and we photograph weddings together. We share all the other gazillion responsibilities of running a business including administrative tasks, communicating with clients, bookkeeping et cetera.

how do you structure your time and space? I primarily care for our son during the day, though our schedule allows us to (somewhat) leisurely start most mornings as a family sharing breakfast, light housekeeping and getting ready for the day. I really enjoy this time together and see it as a luxury we will not always have. Around 8 a.m., my husband goes to work downstairs in our basement office. It really is his office because we’ve discovered that I never work down there. I keep my computer on the bar in our kitchen where I steal moments to check email during the day and then sit to work during our son’s nap and after he’s gone to bed. I rarely feel caught up in my photography work so I constantly feel the pull to be working. I have found that I can really attend to (and enjoy) the time with our son better when we leave the house. We usually spend our mornings going to the library, the grocery store and running various other errands. We’re usually home one morning a week to play (or he plays while I attempt to clean/do laundry). I also attend a weekly Bible study where our son stays in the nursery.

I usually leave the house for three to five photo shoots a week (not including photographing weddings about half the Saturdays of the year). My preference is to do these over one full day (usually Fridays) and one other morning or afternoon. Through trial and error, I found leaving for one entire day during the week was easier for me than trying to schedule shorter blocks of time away on several different days. The latter made me feel like I was constantly switching gears, and I was totally frazzled in all of my roles. I hire a babysitter for most weekdays I leave to shoot, though my husband sometimes spends the time with our son. My mother-in-law takes on most of our working Saturdays, and other family members take the rest. Sometimes I’ll even bring our son with me on a shoot. He enjoys watching the spectacle of my working and the treats I bring to entertain him along the way.

Because we work most Saturdays, we have recently begun protecting Tuesdays as a day for our family to do something fun together – hikes, museums, et cetera. Our business feels established but it seems like we’re constantly still wading through what we all need and what works best for each of us. Even though my husband and I don’t have a lot of intentional date nights, we spend so much of our time together and really do enjoy most of it (we owe a lot of the enjoyment factor to some incredible marriage counseling that we still regularly attend to help us figure out how to work/play/do life together). I don’t take much time for me by myself away from home right now. I haven’t really figured out how to do that well.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Working from home and mostly creating my own schedule allows me to feel like I spend most of my time with our son. I really enjoy the fact that none of us has to be anywhere most mornings and we can (theoretically) choose when we want to work. One of my main challenges is combating the mom-guilt that seems to always be lurking (work more or work less, organic vegetables or free cookies at Target, cutting out coupons or spending my free time doing things that feel more life-giving to me, mother’s day out or not…). I also struggle with contrasting the affirmation that comes so quickly and easily from my clients with how hard it can seem to get through an evening with my toddler before bedtime. Also, I really wish I had more time for friendships in this season. I miss my closest friends who live in other states and find it hard to have the time, energy and all the rest that’s needed to really cultivate new friendships. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Before parenthood, we were in the early stages of running our own business full-time from home. In some ways, life felt crazier then because it wasn’t guided by the routine that raising a child demands. We worked all the time; I scheduled photo shoots and meetings whenever clients wanted, which left me with little routine and balance. Our marriage, our home and our business are much healthier now than they were then due to the rhythms we have established. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? It is difficult (and I’m not sure I’m ready) to see beyond our life right now with young children. We hope that our family is still in the beginning phases but we also have lots of dreams and goals for our business. I honestly have no idea how we’re going to balance working and raising a family as we grow (in both ways), and I can easily get very overwhelmed at the possibilities. In the months that we were anticipating our first child, I remember how fearful I was of not being able to balance it all. It hasn’t been easy by any means but we’ve waded through and made progress in figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Remembering that helps me to have hope that through trial and error, we’ll figure out new routines (and how to make enough money to eat).

favorite family activities: Taking walks/being outside together, traveling and seeing new things and places.

favorite solo activities: Reading, looking through home magazines for ideas, talking to my best friends on the phone (in person would be much better).

sources of inspiration: my mom; my husband and my son;  people who are willing to be transparent and real. 

best MakeShift moment: Life feels full of these moments right now. I had so many expectations of what I would be like as a mother and it has been refreshing to let go of a lot of those. Just recently, while I was preparing dinner, I was so happy that my son was occupied while pouring the dog’s water back and forth between the food and water bowls. The mess was huge but well worth it. I regularly give him cups of ice that end up melting all over our hardwood floors, he’s allowed to sit (but not stand) on our coffee table, and I am not ashamed of bribing with suckers or candy when necessary. For me, letting all of these things be okay feels like quite a shift. Also, I have allowed myself to give up cooking most nights. We eat a lot of take-out and it works for us most of the time.

check out erin’s stunning photography at www.nolenphotographyblog.com.

first name: Jennifer

age: 36 

current city: Germantown , TN

living situation: I live in a house in the “burbs” with my husband and two children (ages five and eight) and a dog.

occupation: I am a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor, and I own a small business that provides fitness programming for moms. This is my second career; prior to having children I did legislative and non-profit work.

how do you structure your time and space? This is the first year that my children are both in school 5 days a week (some of these days are half-days for my younger). I teach six to seven classes each week at two different locations. I cart my equipment around in the back of my minivan, and my home base/office is a spare room in our house. I spend my early mornings preparing breakfasts, packing lunches, and getting ready for the day. Once the kids are at school, I teach a class or two, run errands, and take care of emails, phone calls, planning, and paperwork. Once the kids are home from school, my primary focus is on family matters. I spend time with the kids, take them to ballet or basketball practice, prepare dinner, and join my husband in putting kids to bed. I teach a night class once a week. This entails dining with the family and then leaving my husband to handle the rest of the kids’ evening.

There is one weekday morning when I do not teach. I try protect this “me day” by not scheduling anything that I do not really enjoy. I generally go for a long run and then do some reading. I always spend some time in the evening reading too. Weekends are mostly family time with a run or a yoga class in the mix.

My work is very family-friendly. All but two of my classes are for women and their children (generally ages six weeks to four years). Up until this year, my younger child was regularly with me in class, and during school breaks, I bring my kids with me. The only time I really have difficulty with work and child-care is if one of my kids is sick. Fortunately, my husband’s schedule is flexible enough that he usually can stay home with a sick child while I go to class.

Housework definitely takes a back seat for me, and so at this moment (and this is typical) there are all sorts of school papers and mail scattered on the kitchen counter. There is some kid’s artwork-in-progress on the table, and my desk is covered in my stuff plus a baby doll, a walkie-talkie, some Lego’s, and a light saber. I like the idea of living in a clean, uncluttered house, but I’m not willing to give up anything else that I do in order to make time for it. Anytime we are having guests over, I run around like a crazy person trying to clean because I just can’t let go of the idea that things SHOULD be neat and orderly!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have been thinking a lot recently about how I perceive myself to be in the midst of a transition from one season to another. My youngest child will start kindergarten next year, so I will be the parent of two school-age children.  Currently, I am considering ways that I can work a bit more and contribute more to our family income, while hopefully also maintaining the flexibility that I enjoy now.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I spent several years as a “stay-at-home” mom. In the time just before having my first child, I was very unsure about the career path I was on and spent a lot of time thinking about other possible directions in which I could go. We happened to move to Memphis from a different city during my pregnancy, which made it easier stop working (outside the home) altogether for a while. I really enjoyed this time with my kids and feel like it gave me a great deal of freedom to embark on a new path. We still feel a bit financially behind because of this, but overall I have been happy with my path.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I don’t really have a five or ten year plan (I’m just trying to work on a 12-month plan)! I envision that as my kids get older and more independent I will spend more time working and doing things that I enjoy (I love my current work). I am hoping to be able to travel more. I also have this crazy goal of someday participating in a 50-mile, or maybe even 100-mile, ultramarathon. 

favorite family activity: We enjoy going for walks out in the woods (for example on the Wolf River Trails),  having family movie nights, and making pancakes together on Sunday mornings.

favorite solo activity: running, yoga, reading

sources of inspiration: my family, other moms (those who are balancing their responsibilities while also caring for themselves and maintaining their own happiness/sanity), books, beautiful and peaceful places

best MakeShift moment: When my oldest child was two years old, I formed a co-op preschool program with five other moms. “Co-op” met one morning a week for two and a half  hours. Each week, according to a rotating schedule, there were two moms who planned and implemented theme-based play-related activities, a craft, outside play, snack and story time. The other moms would drop off their kids and enjoy a morning of free time. We all brought our lunches and enjoyed a meal together at morning’s end. Once every couple of months we took the kids on field trips including a MATA bus ride to Davis-Kidd for story time. We continued the program for two years, and now that the kids are all in second and third grade, we still get together once a month for dinner.

Around the house (often while I am making dinner), we play “sink or float.”  I give each of the kids a large bowl/pan of water and some aluminum foil. They craft little boats with the foil and test them out to see if they float. I also find that those little free notepads are great entertainment when I am trying to get things done. I can give my five-year-old a notepad and pen, and she will happily fill every single page with her “notes.”

read more about jennifer’s business at www.strollerfit.com/germantown.

first name: Melissa

age: 34 

current city: Memphis

living situation: loft apartment with husband and daughter (3 years old)

occupation: professional photographer, freelance writer

how do you structure your time and space? Currently we live in a loft, which makes the division of labor a bit tricky. When mom is on the computer, she is also in her daughter’s play space, so it makes working from home challenging. My daughter attends a daycare twice a week for a 6 hour stretches; even with his help, we often find ourselves doing our work after she goes to bed, so I often feel like I never see my husband even if he’s just across the living room! We have ultimately decided to send her to school everyday; she is intensely social, so I don’t feel as guilty about this decision as I once did. I’ve made sure to spend an hour out of her school time for pilates; that’s my church. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? trying to stay present as my daughter’s creativity and imagination blossoms; often she wants to play some hybrid role playing game, and I’m trying not to think about client emails I need to return

-what season(s) might your future hold? Spring – renewal for both of us. Also, my husband and I are blessed with fairly flexible schedules (read: no schedule) due to our freelance jobs. But the flip side of this is little structure and chaotic child care. A lot of my day consists of trying to steal time to edit photos while playing dress up with my daughter. I had always envisioned having two kids, but now I can’t imagine willingly inviting more chaos into our lives. We both have siblings we love dearly, and I’m saddened by the thought of my daughter not having a brother or sister, but I get secretly giddy by the thought of how much more we could do as a family of 3: travel easier, afford to travel easier. Our daughter would be that cool kid who gets to bring a friend along for awesome excursions. We wouldn’t have to split further our already fractured attention spans between 2 kids. Even better, more time with the husband, and time to revel in being his girl, not just the mama of his kids. But even the act of writing this makes me feel guilty. Another awesome kid? Why wouldn’t we try to move heaven and earth and our schedules around to have one of those?

favorite family activities: walking by the river, Rock N Romp, going to Miss Cordelia’s for groceries and a cookie 

favorite solo activities: pilates, writing at Republic Coffee, taking pictures of downtown Memphis

sources of inspiration: dinner with friends, a glass of wine while cooking dinner

best MakeShift moment: Typing an entry for a fiction contest one handed while rocking my daughter and my dog throwing up at my feet. I can’t say handled the situation gracefully, but I got the sucker done, rocked the kid to sleep and cleaned up the puke. All in a day’s work.  

the first picture was taken at a book signing for melissa’s first book, Veiled Remarks: A Curious Compendium for the Nuptually Inclined. check out melissa’s blog for her fabulous photography and well-crafted tales: http://www.modernmedusahead.blogspot.

[to get the mothers of invention ball rolling, i’ll be the guinea pig…]

first name: mary allison

age: 33 

current city: memphis, tn

living situation: i live in a house in the heart of the city with my husband, two little boys (ages 12 months and 3 years), and a dog.

occupation: presbyterian (u.s.a.) minister

how do you structure your time and space? i lead a study group once a week at one church and once a month at another. i also preach once a month. i prepare for all of these things in 15-minute increments while my children are napping and/or writing on the walls. this kind of ministry job is rare because it allows me to do the elements of the vocation that i love and also spend most of my time at home.

i don’t really have a schedule for taking care of household chores but i cook, grocery shop, do laundry, and sew in little snatches of time that emerge here and there. my standards for cleanliness are very low. i trade a messy house for more time to spend working and playing with my kids.

my husband and i get a sitter for one night of every weekend so we can have a dinner to ourselves, and my mom keeps my kids one day each week. the weekly “day off” allows me to lead a study group that morning and have that afternoon to myself. my husband is on kid duty on sunday mornings when i am preaching. my oldest is in school three mornings a week, and occasionally, i’ll hire a college student to care for my kids for a few hours during the week so I can exercise, catch up on writing, and do other career-related things.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? working part-time and from home really gives me the face time i want to have with my kids. i also like that i can take advantage of unexpected windows of free time to write sermons and prepare for study groups. however, this kind of flexibility comes with a significant pay cut and very little professional recognition. sometimes i long for the kind of positive regard from the community that my husband receives as a traditional full time employee and businessman. when i’m at my worst, i spend a lot of time multi-tasking. i am at my best when i draw good boundaries and emphasize quality over quantity in terms of things that do not involve my children. the satisfaction from this season comes in experiencing the world through the eyes of small children, working with a boss who understands the demands of motherhood, planting sunflower seeds with my sons, et cetera.

-what season(s) preceded this one? before i became a part-time minister and full time mother, i was the full-time minister to students at a small liberal arts college. i loved this job, and i miss it very much.

-what season(s) might your future hold? perhaps, when my children get a little older, i will take more time to write, travel, or finish the license requirements to be a marriage and family therapist. i hope the next seasons surprise me though. i love life’s unpredictable good fortune!

favorite family activity: riding the trolley in downtown memphis. it costs our whole family a total of $2, the kids are contained and full of glee, and there are plenty of opportunities to stop, eat, and observe along the way.

favorite solo activity: yoga, jogging, hiking, quilting

sources of inspiration: people who are authentic, creative, and loving; gee’s bend quilters;  my kiddos

best MakeShift moment: i used to take my newborn with me to visit parishioners who were ill or unable to leave their homes. i quickly learned that his presence was much more healing to folks than my own! i have also sacrificed many rolls of toilet paper for the sake of my children’s entertainment while i am sermon-writing.

find mary allison at www.themsrevolution.com

the first two photographs in this post were taken by carol curry reach.