the reality project continues, thanks to these pics from sharon in PA. the first introduces a prime breeding ground for chaos and shame: putting one’s house on the market to sell. let’s get a show of hands for all of those who have shoved a dress-up-purse full of baby bottle attachments and kids’ shoes into the oven right as the realtor and prospective buyers were pulling into the driveway. don’t look so smug. those of you who filled the trunks of your cars with this stuff are not much better. but i digress.

sharon writes,

when we were getting ready to move, we cleaned all the clutter off the fridge. i really liked how it looked and decided to keep the fridge in the new house clutter free. right.

of course, the upside about moving (once you finally trick a buyer into purchasing your old digs) is that packing presents a wonderful opportunity to purge your life of things including but not limited to:

• the heart-shaped crystal plate received 12 years ago as a wedding gift
• the baja hoodie you wore in eighth grade
• the dead battery collection accumulating in the sideboard drawer

but oh, how quickly the crap re-accumulates in the new house! behold this disaster atop the dresser of sharon’s ten-year-old.

sharon wants us to know that “the dresser knob on the left has not been hit by an engorgement charm. it just has a scrunchy wrapped around it, as do four of the five other knobs.”

thanks, sharon, for reminding me that i never want to move again. and p.s. i would give five scrunchies for a fridge that looks as orderly as yours does!

one afternoon last week, when i opened the pantry to get the kids a snack, i was bombarded with an avalanche of chocolate chips, tea bags, pretzels, granola bars, and miscellaneous packets of bakers yeast.

and then, this morning, as i was reaching into the fridge for the creamer, i was met with a hailstorm of blueberries.

hazards such as these can only mean one thing: it is time for a pantry week in our house.

for the next seven days, there will be no meal-planning or food purchasing (apart from a few kid staples, and of course, coffee). andy and i will take turns coming up with creative concoctions with the vast array of random food items crammed into the far corners of our kitchen. so get ready for the cheese-toast pizzas, the bizarre quiche-like entrees, and the breakfast pasta dishes. i’ll be posting about our makeshift meals… the good, the bad, and the ugly.

and now for an update on elvis, the webkinz mountain goat:

elvis lives, despite my best efforts to off him. the plush real-life elvis is quite at home with the monkey and enjoys frequent outings to the park and to his grandparents’ house.

elvis’ web persona is still living the high life in his room with his wet bar, area rug, and cactus. after consulting with some experts (middle schoolers), i learned that the best way to contribute to the demise of a webkinz is to play with it regularly but not to feed it. i have been employing this strategy lately and have even refrained from feeding elvis the jar of pickles i received yesterday just for logging in. however, so far he seems no worse for the wear. suggestions? shouldn’t he at least be getting sick enough to merit a trip to “dr. quack?”

stay tuned…