name: Mary-Ellen

age: 40+ (one gets squirrely after a couple of the 40 something birthdays!)

current city: Memphis

name: Liz

age: 45

current city: Memphis

living situation: I share the home with a husband, a dog, and two sons: Gus, age seven, and Solly, age two-and-a-half (listed in order of arrival).

occupation: I’m a freelance food, family and travel writer. My regular gigs are blogging at GoWithFamily.com and writing a monthly family food column for Memphis Parent.

how do you structure your time and space? My office space is in a nook between the kitchen and the dining room, which is great when I’m writing about food or cooking from a recipe I’ve gotten off the web but lousy when my desk is messy — which is most of the time — and the kids start fooling around with my stuff. To structure my time, I’ve tried everything from hour-by-hour scheduling (I still have “shower” listed on my iCal daily plan) to caroming intuitively from one task to the next. Right now, what seems to be working is establishing a set of general priorities and making lists. On the top of my list these days is to write for at least a couple of hours and then spend some time managing and promoting my blog.

Then comes home stuff. I’m always motivated by food, much more than by housekeeping, so I usually write a plan for the week so there’s no last-minute shopping and brain-racking. We sit down most nights to a pretty good home-cooked family meal.

However, there’s a part of me that feels uneasy folding clothes or organizing our belongings. I actually think that’s kind of messed up. There’s a toxic stew of self-denial and feminist angst that makes me feel like ironing is retrogressive, time-wasting, and even frivolous, when it’s actually productive and meditative.

I have trouble taking time to meditate, even though I know it enriches me. The best compromise I’ve come up with is running without my iPod, which is pretty close to meditating. In fact, the best thing I can do for myself is simply to monotask — to do what I’m doing without distracting myself with podcasts or Facebook. Sometimes this includes music and other times it’s just quiet. Otherwise, my self-care consists of regular exercise and trying to connect with other people who are also trying to be present, patient, and useful.

Both of my kids go to a school that I love for its community and what my kids learn there–so much beyond the ABCs. After teaching for ten years, I began to question the way conventional schools — even the really good ones — function. I thought about homeschooling when the older one was little, but there’s a reason I have to work on being present, patient and useful. It doesn’t always come easily to me. So homeschooling was out. But I found a school that nurtures their inherent desire to cooperate, learn and grow.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m tempted to say it’s the tired season right now. Having two young kids and being a freelancer is busy and exhausting in a way that’s very different from other tiring, busy times I’ve had in my life. It’s different from the laser-like focus on reading and writing of my grad school days, for example. It’s not all about me.

Taking things a day at a time is important to me whether I’m packing lunches and laundering diapers or trying to pull in a few more readers each day for my blog. But for the most part, my life is the result of my choices, which means that I’ve signed up for both the pluses and the minuses. I have to review that fact periodically so as to remember how lucky I am to have choices.

The highlights are pretty great. I get to do fun stuff with my family — eating, traveling, exploring, playing, reading — and then write about it. My kids try my patience, but that’s how they teach me patience. I get to grow up. And they are lovely, affectionate, original, and so utterly themselves.

-what season(s) preceded this one? There was a waiting season while the adoption of our younger son was processing. But of course waiting wasn’t all we did. You don’t live your life waiting, especially if you already have one bright shiny kid in your lap. So it was also a time of exploration. With just one kid, I was able to volunteer at Gus’s school, at the Farmers’ Market, and take on projects that seemed like they might contribute to the community, even if just in a small way. With two kids, I’ve had to shed most of the extracurricular stuff.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I have mixed feelings about entering the period when my boys will become more independent and I’ll move back into putting more of my energy into my writing, teaching, or community work. (I didn’t have the stamina to teach and raise kids, and am seriously amazed by people who do.) But a friend of mine was reflecting on how she keeps herself in balance, and she said that it was necessary for her to avoid hanging her identity on any one of her roles — mom, worker, wife. Because it’s almost guaranteed that things will change. Well, not even ‘almost,’ in the case of the mom role.

favorite family activities: I love exploring with my kids, biking, hiking, camping, trying new foods, and visiting state parks and weird places no one else ever visits. My husband and I have to compromise, because he’s not so crazy about camping and its discomforts, so we find budget-friendly ways of staying in hotels and cabins. At home we do a lot of lying around and reading.

favorite solo activities: lying around and reading, cooking, eating, knitting, killing plants, and traveling alone (one thing I miss about my single life)

When you travel alone you can stand in front of a picture in a museum for as long as you want, or read a book in a cafe if you like. It’s just a different kind of adventure.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by my grandmother, who co-owned a travel agency in the ‘70s and ‘80s. She traveled by herself to Austria this summer, weeks before her 91st birthday, to go to a friend’s wedding.

Another source of inspiration is my dad, who reinvented himself as a poet and then started a post-retirement career publishing an Edible magazine. He’s got enormous integrity.

best MakeShift moment: The other day when the kids were extra-wild, I bought myself time to cook supper by letting them entwine all of our downstairs furniture in a giant yarn spiderweb. It’s taken me a while to recognize that messes like that don’t matter, especially when they allow me to get something done with the kids nearby.

check out liz’s blogs:

• http://gowithfamily.com
• http://peachesandbuttermilk.blogspot.com/

follow liz on twitter: @GoWithFamily

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Tran

age: Very close to 40 

occupation: 

• I have over 15 years of tv news experience. I left a position as anchor/reporter at ABC 24/UPN 30 when my first child was eight months old.
• Freelance television host and producer, currently hosting and co-producing a tv show titled “Traveling with Tots,” set to debut on ABC 24 on June 26 at 6:30 a.m.
• Contributing writer, Family Fun Spots Magazine, “The Go To Mom”

how do you structure your time and space? The freelance business is very unpredictable. Some weeks are jammed packed with jobs — writing columns or stories, hosting a tv commercial, producing a web video, field producing for a major network, or being interviewed for a story. Some weeks are completely open. I am grateful that my husband is able to provide for us and afford me this opportunity to have quality time with my little ones and still pursue my professional goals. After working crazy hours in the tv news business for more than 15 years, I can fully appreciate this freedom and flexibility and try not to take it for granted.

I’m very much an organizer so I have tons of “to-do” lists, and I carry my paper calendar (not i-phone or Blackberry) with me everywhere. Everything goes in that calendar (play dates, trips, dinner dates, and the planning steps needed for each). I considered getting one for each family member but decided against it because I didn’t want to have to keep up with all of them. I pack, prepare, and lay out everything we need the night before. Since I consider my five-year-old son to be bright and capable, I made him responsible for getting himself ready for school every morning. I put a clothing organizer in his closet and wrote in the days of the week on it so he can dress himself in the mornings, no questions asked. I love, love it! What a time saver for me in the mornings.

I’m finally in a good place with child care. My son goes to school everyday, my daughter, twice a week. I have two great babysitters we trust and adore. I also love using Kid Station, the drop-in child care facility in East Memphis. It was rough with child care in the beginning. I  was always stressed out and scrambling at the last minute to find someone.

It definitely wasn’t easy trying to juggle it all at first. Until a year ago I was also chairing non-profit and networking boards, organizing fundraisers and attending a ton of events. It was a bit overwhelming at times, but eventually I learned to say no and prioritize. I was taking my babies with me to many of these meetings, events, and even freelance jobs. It was time to cut back. I started giving more quality time to friends and family, teaching my children to be more self-sufficient, and choosing to do things that truly give me joy.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Now that my babies are five and two, I feel a little more organized and more rested. We have fun together and even work well together. They are big helpers. It’s so cool to see them growing and changing so much, however, it’s also really tough for me to see my babies become a “big girl” and a “big boy.”

-What season(s) preceded this one? The previous season was a bit stressful. I felt I had to do it all — work, lead, take care of my babies, be involved in the community, socialize, network, et cetera. I thought I had to be Wonder Woman and Supermom.

-What season(s) might your future hold? As my children are spending more time away from me at school, I am spending more time pursuing my other passion — creating a television program for families. “Traveling with Tots” has been in the works for a year and a half now. My partners (who are also parents) and I are ready to take the next step. We don’t know what the future holds, but we are grateful that we have had the opportunity to do this while maintaining quality time with our families.

Favorite family activity/activities: I love doing anything that involves all four members of our family. It’s so great experiencing things together, whether it’s a meal at the dinner table, a play date at the park, or an out of town trip (my favorite was to see the shuttle launch last summer). Even simple things like playing in the backyard together makes me so happy. The kids don’t care what we’re doing, they just like being with their mommy and daddy. 

favorite solo activities: When I get some time to myself, even if it’s just for an hour, I just want to sit in front of the tv and watch mindless shows, read magazines at a book store, or surf the net and actually take time to read blogs or stories. I just want to be comfortable and not feel rushed.

sources of inspiration: I draw strength from my husband, Scott. He is such a kind, giving, and thoughtful person. He grounds me, lifts me up and gives me wings.

When I am feeling sorry for myself, I think of my parents. They fled Vietnam with three toddlers during the Fall of Saigon in 1975. They escaped by boat to the United States and started their lives all over with nothing. I will never, ever know what it was like to feel that kind of fear, sadness, hope, relief and freedom. They are remarkable people and I am eternally grateful to them for the life they have given my siblings and me.

best MakeShift moment: I do most of my work at home on the computer so I often send the kids to their playroom and let them do whatever they want — as long as they stay in there. I’ve even put down a big beach towel and packed a picnic so I don’t have to stop and make lunch. They love it!

Rather than buying expensive or ordinary artwork for my son’s bedroom, I bought a blank canvas and some paint at an art supply store and let him create his artwork. His face lit up when I told him what he was going to do, and he was so excited to see it hanging p in his room above his bed.

Toys, movies and coloring books will only keep my kids preoccupied for so long on trips. I like to turn off the radio and spend some time talking with them. I let them make up travel games, we sing songs and I like to play reporter and interview them by asking them lots questions like, “If you could have one superpower, which one would it be?” or “What’s your favorite thing to do at the beach?” This may sound silly, but I feel like I’m actually getting to know them better.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process details on the sidebar to your right.]