first name: Jaime

age: 32

current city:  Collierville, TN

living situation: We live in a suburb of Memphis, in a small neighborhood with many families. Our household consists of my husband, two sons, ages three and 16 months, and two Yorkies. And all our names start with J’s (even the dogs).

occupation: Registered Nurse

how do you structure your time and space? The beauty of my job is that I get to choose my schedule. It has taken about a year to figure out a schedule that gives us a good balance. I work three days a week, two shifts of 12 hours and one shift of eight hours. We have one weekend day together as a family, and three weekday evenings. One weekday evening is deemed mine to go out with friends or attend small group at my church. My husband also has an evening of his own. We don’t always use our “solo evenings,” but they are there if we want them.

Our daily schedule is a hodgepodge. With two kids on different nap schedules, someone is always asleep, which leaves little time for errands away from the house. I try to give the boys one-on-one time when one of them is asleep. And I involve my three year old with chores, i.e. laundry, unloading the dishwasher, and picking up. We recently hired someone to clean the house twice a month, as I prefer to spend more time with the boys. Also, I pick up toys one time a day, at night after the boys go to bed. Before, I found myself constantly picking up toys! So if you come to our house, expect toys on the floor. It maintains my sanity and allows for more play time with the kids!

We also use e-mealz.com for our meal planning. Meal planning was a big issue for us and this has made it much easier. Now we know exactly what is for dinner, and either of us can cook the meal, since the recipes are easy and already planned!

Our childcare situation is a great one. Two days a week, both boys attend Mother’s Day Out from 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. These are days I do not work, so I run errands and do some things for me. The boys love it. We chose the days I work in order to keep the boys out of daycare. On Fridays, I work an evening shift, and my husband comes home early so I may leave for work. I also work Sundays when he is home. Then Mondays, our next door neighbor watches the boys until my husband gets home. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I am truly seeking a life of balance between being a working mom and a stay-at-home mom. All the while, I fight the urge to be super mom. Because I work weekends, I feel like I actually have two work weeks in one — my four days of staying home, and my three days of work. I try not to cram too much into the four days I am home in favor of fun activities for the kids and me. Some weeks I succeed in balancing, some weeks I don’t. The three days I work seem to run by in a blur and I miss the kids terribly. But work also serves as a break from that part of my life. That may sound horrible, but I enjoy my job and I look forward to working. (No, did she really say that? Yes, she did). I also enjoy the adult interaction (well, mostly adult — the occasional immature patient ruins that image) and the absence of phrases such as, “Please stop hitting your brother,” and “We do not pee on other people.” Although to be honest, I have said the last one to a patient! 

-what season(s) preceded this one? My preceding season was a mix (summer to winter).  It started with a dream job filled with five star resorts and celebrities and ended with a period of grief and clarity. I lost my father, got married, and finally figured out I was called to be a nurse, which necessitated my return to school. This season revolved around soul-searching and self-discovery, and it ended in the surprise that we were expecting our first child!  This news urged us to restructure our couple-centered and career-centered life into an existence that would nurture a little one.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Once the kids are both in school, I will shift my work schedule to coincide with school, which will allow for even more family time. I also look forward to returning to golf on a regular basis, and even playing as a family. I see a future with four golf bags in the car, and the family headed to a golf destination for vacations. I am also considering returning to school to become a Nurse Practitioner. So I see spring coming in the future, a season of the blooming of seeds that have been planted in our current season.

favorite family activities: Going to the zoo (the zoo pass offers a tenfold return on the money invested), the park and the water park in the summer. We also recently joined a gym that has family activities and swimming. We have ventured to the driving range a few times with the boys and are hoping that becomes a favorite activity as they get older.

favorite solo activities: Yoga, blogging about work and home , and exercise. I would love to get back into knitting and painting unfinished wood (like rocking horses and stools).

sources of inspiration: People who are honest, real, and not afraid to admit their faults; Moms who blog; My dad.

best MakeShift moment: Showering does not happen before the kids get up, so I have a cabinet in the bathroom designated for them. In it are toys, a roll of garbage bags (that has been re-rolled MANY times) and an hourglass filled with colored water. All of these things entertain the J Brothers. Also, my older son loves his telephone, so he sets up his office in our jacuzzi tub and conducts business while I get ready for the day. I guess you could call it “Take Your Mommy to Work!”

And from my babysitting days, I once watched six children under the age of five. They were all fighting over toys, so I finally took all the toys with wheels (about ten), tied them into a “train” and pulled the train all over the house with a parade of children following. They were entertained for an hour and peace was kept until their parents returned.

find jaime on the web at www.nursegolfdiva.blogspot.com.

[i couldn’t help myself. jaime was my college roommate, and the last two pictures are evidence of the best random dormatory pairing in the history of higher education.]

first name: Sarah

age: 33 

current city: Tampa

living situation: Husband and son, age two. We live in an older house close to downtown.

occupation: Marketing director for a Fortune 100 insurance company

how do you structure your time and space? I have a traditional corporate job where I’m required to be at my office from about 8:30-5:00, five days a week. However, I don’t have a Blackberry or a laptop for security reasons, so I really do leave it all at the office. My son goes to a wonderful daycare, and he adores his teachers and his friends there.

My home-making philosophy in a nutshell: outsourcing. I have a house cleaner and I use a meal preparation service where I go to a commercial kitchen and prepare a month’s worth of dinners to freeze. My house is far cleaner and we eat much better (for the same price) than when we did all this ourselves! This way, I can spend the time I do have with my son in the mornings and evenings focusing on him, not cooking dinner or picking up the house.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? My current season is winter, because in winter we draw closer to our families, huddle together to enjoy each others’ warmth, and eliminate unnecessary things from our lives in order to conserve energy. It’s a great metaphor for my life right now because I’m constantly choosing family over other interests. It’s hard to resist the temptation to pack things into my life, but I am a better mother when I am focused and not worn out by too many outside demands.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer, because I had a job that involved more “playtime” (marketing for a nonprofit) but also required really long days and weekends at the expense of my family.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Right now we’re in a little bit of a holding pattern. Once our future plans are clearer, I think it will feel like fall, when you get that “back to school” feeling, plan out your activities, get into a new routine, and meet new people.

favorite family activity: Our neighborhood has quiet streets and wonderful parks with playgrounds, so we load up the jogging stroller and take a family walk to the playground. It’s free, we get some exercise, and we always meet a new friend.

favorite solo activity: If I bolt out the door the second my son’s head hits the pillow at night, I can make it to a 7:30 hot yoga class and he never even knows I’m gone.

sources of inspiration: Myself, five years ago! I went on the record in a very public way (letter to the editor of the New York Times) about my commitment to sharing the responsibility of supporting my family so that my husband could pursue his career dreams and be an involved parent to our children. Right after the letter was published, my husband supported me when I quit a great corporate job to do something I’d always wanted to do—marketing for a nonprofit that served families and children. Then, last fall, he took a long-awaited opportunity to shift from a well-paid advertising agency leadership position into full time teaching at the college level, and I was able to go back to a corporate marketing job to bring in more income. I was so proud that I could help make his dream a reality, and his job will get even more flexible and family-friendly as time goes on.

 Don’t get me wrong. It has been so hard to “walk the walk”, but in the end it’s worked out like I hoped. And when I get overwhelmed or think that I am a horrible mother for having a full-time job outside the home, I remember how proud I was of my mother for helping to support our family financially, and that I always felt close to her even though there were other people who took care of me during the day. Plus, what two-year-old doesn’t LOVE having daddy around more often!

best MakeShift moment: Recently we got a massive heating bill, so I bought a programmable thermostat. Of course, I wanted to install it right away, but I had to cut off the power so I didn’t electrocute myself while I connected the wiring, and it was hard to see in the dark hallway with the lights off. So I had my son hold the flashlight, and my husband hold my son, so that I could see to install the thermostat on the wall. It was an instant family bonding moment, and I got a big “to-do” done too. Now, my son even “helps” alongside me with his little pretend tools while I do all sorts of household projects. He thinks we’re playing together!

stay tuned for tomorrow’s post: sarah’s new york times letter to the editor.

first name: Jennifer

age: 36 

current city: Germantown , TN

living situation: I live in a house in the “burbs” with my husband and two children (ages five and eight) and a dog.

occupation: I am a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor, and I own a small business that provides fitness programming for moms. This is my second career; prior to having children I did legislative and non-profit work.

how do you structure your time and space? This is the first year that my children are both in school 5 days a week (some of these days are half-days for my younger). I teach six to seven classes each week at two different locations. I cart my equipment around in the back of my minivan, and my home base/office is a spare room in our house. I spend my early mornings preparing breakfasts, packing lunches, and getting ready for the day. Once the kids are at school, I teach a class or two, run errands, and take care of emails, phone calls, planning, and paperwork. Once the kids are home from school, my primary focus is on family matters. I spend time with the kids, take them to ballet or basketball practice, prepare dinner, and join my husband in putting kids to bed. I teach a night class once a week. This entails dining with the family and then leaving my husband to handle the rest of the kids’ evening.

There is one weekday morning when I do not teach. I try protect this “me day” by not scheduling anything that I do not really enjoy. I generally go for a long run and then do some reading. I always spend some time in the evening reading too. Weekends are mostly family time with a run or a yoga class in the mix.

My work is very family-friendly. All but two of my classes are for women and their children (generally ages six weeks to four years). Up until this year, my younger child was regularly with me in class, and during school breaks, I bring my kids with me. The only time I really have difficulty with work and child-care is if one of my kids is sick. Fortunately, my husband’s schedule is flexible enough that he usually can stay home with a sick child while I go to class.

Housework definitely takes a back seat for me, and so at this moment (and this is typical) there are all sorts of school papers and mail scattered on the kitchen counter. There is some kid’s artwork-in-progress on the table, and my desk is covered in my stuff plus a baby doll, a walkie-talkie, some Lego’s, and a light saber. I like the idea of living in a clean, uncluttered house, but I’m not willing to give up anything else that I do in order to make time for it. Anytime we are having guests over, I run around like a crazy person trying to clean because I just can’t let go of the idea that things SHOULD be neat and orderly!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have been thinking a lot recently about how I perceive myself to be in the midst of a transition from one season to another. My youngest child will start kindergarten next year, so I will be the parent of two school-age children.  Currently, I am considering ways that I can work a bit more and contribute more to our family income, while hopefully also maintaining the flexibility that I enjoy now.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I spent several years as a “stay-at-home” mom. In the time just before having my first child, I was very unsure about the career path I was on and spent a lot of time thinking about other possible directions in which I could go. We happened to move to Memphis from a different city during my pregnancy, which made it easier stop working (outside the home) altogether for a while. I really enjoyed this time with my kids and feel like it gave me a great deal of freedom to embark on a new path. We still feel a bit financially behind because of this, but overall I have been happy with my path.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I don’t really have a five or ten year plan (I’m just trying to work on a 12-month plan)! I envision that as my kids get older and more independent I will spend more time working and doing things that I enjoy (I love my current work). I am hoping to be able to travel more. I also have this crazy goal of someday participating in a 50-mile, or maybe even 100-mile, ultramarathon. 

favorite family activity: We enjoy going for walks out in the woods (for example on the Wolf River Trails),  having family movie nights, and making pancakes together on Sunday mornings.

favorite solo activity: running, yoga, reading

sources of inspiration: my family, other moms (those who are balancing their responsibilities while also caring for themselves and maintaining their own happiness/sanity), books, beautiful and peaceful places

best MakeShift moment: When my oldest child was two years old, I formed a co-op preschool program with five other moms. “Co-op” met one morning a week for two and a half  hours. Each week, according to a rotating schedule, there were two moms who planned and implemented theme-based play-related activities, a craft, outside play, snack and story time. The other moms would drop off their kids and enjoy a morning of free time. We all brought our lunches and enjoyed a meal together at morning’s end. Once every couple of months we took the kids on field trips including a MATA bus ride to Davis-Kidd for story time. We continued the program for two years, and now that the kids are all in second and third grade, we still get together once a month for dinner.

Around the house (often while I am making dinner), we play “sink or float.”  I give each of the kids a large bowl/pan of water and some aluminum foil. They craft little boats with the foil and test them out to see if they float. I also find that those little free notepads are great entertainment when I am trying to get things done. I can give my five-year-old a notepad and pen, and she will happily fill every single page with her “notes.”

read more about jennifer’s business at www.strollerfit.com/germantown.

[to get the mothers of invention ball rolling, i’ll be the guinea pig…]

first name: mary allison

age: 33 

current city: memphis, tn

living situation: i live in a house in the heart of the city with my husband, two little boys (ages 12 months and 3 years), and a dog.

occupation: presbyterian (u.s.a.) minister

how do you structure your time and space? i lead a study group once a week at one church and once a month at another. i also preach once a month. i prepare for all of these things in 15-minute increments while my children are napping and/or writing on the walls. this kind of ministry job is rare because it allows me to do the elements of the vocation that i love and also spend most of my time at home.

i don’t really have a schedule for taking care of household chores but i cook, grocery shop, do laundry, and sew in little snatches of time that emerge here and there. my standards for cleanliness are very low. i trade a messy house for more time to spend working and playing with my kids.

my husband and i get a sitter for one night of every weekend so we can have a dinner to ourselves, and my mom keeps my kids one day each week. the weekly “day off” allows me to lead a study group that morning and have that afternoon to myself. my husband is on kid duty on sunday mornings when i am preaching. my oldest is in school three mornings a week, and occasionally, i’ll hire a college student to care for my kids for a few hours during the week so I can exercise, catch up on writing, and do other career-related things.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? working part-time and from home really gives me the face time i want to have with my kids. i also like that i can take advantage of unexpected windows of free time to write sermons and prepare for study groups. however, this kind of flexibility comes with a significant pay cut and very little professional recognition. sometimes i long for the kind of positive regard from the community that my husband receives as a traditional full time employee and businessman. when i’m at my worst, i spend a lot of time multi-tasking. i am at my best when i draw good boundaries and emphasize quality over quantity in terms of things that do not involve my children. the satisfaction from this season comes in experiencing the world through the eyes of small children, working with a boss who understands the demands of motherhood, planting sunflower seeds with my sons, et cetera.

-what season(s) preceded this one? before i became a part-time minister and full time mother, i was the full-time minister to students at a small liberal arts college. i loved this job, and i miss it very much.

-what season(s) might your future hold? perhaps, when my children get a little older, i will take more time to write, travel, or finish the license requirements to be a marriage and family therapist. i hope the next seasons surprise me though. i love life’s unpredictable good fortune!

favorite family activity: riding the trolley in downtown memphis. it costs our whole family a total of $2, the kids are contained and full of glee, and there are plenty of opportunities to stop, eat, and observe along the way.

favorite solo activity: yoga, jogging, hiking, quilting

sources of inspiration: people who are authentic, creative, and loving; gee’s bend quilters;  my kiddos

best MakeShift moment: i used to take my newborn with me to visit parishioners who were ill or unable to leave their homes. i quickly learned that his presence was much more healing to folks than my own! i have also sacrificed many rolls of toilet paper for the sake of my children’s entertainment while i am sermon-writing.

find mary allison at www.themsrevolution.com

the first two photographs in this post were taken by carol curry reach.