a few years ago, ira glass dedicated an entire episode of “this american life” to exploring the phenomenon of camp. in his words,

no one back home understands it, none of their friends, nobody. there is just a gap between camp people and non-camp people.

when glass interviews a teen-aged girl camper at an upscale camp in the northeast, she confirms his assertion:

…it’s also like little stories you tell, and you think they’re so funny, and everyone in your cabin understands them, and then you tell them to your friends back home, and they’re like, “that’s stupid.”

our family does camp a little differently than most in that we allgo to camp for a month. the week-long church retreats andy and i attended as teenagers apparently did not satisfy our desires to be part of a small sub-culture of nature-loving people. but though our camp model isn’t traditional, some of the universal camp themes apply.

first, there are bizarre traditions at montreatthat make perfect sense to those who have been part of them since they were in diapers. my children, for example, will probably never question the normalcy of the greased pole competition on the fourth of july, wherein a smooth 20+ foot wooden rounded plank is cemented into the ground, adorned with u.s. currency of various values, thoroughly greased, and scaled all day long by daring contestants as an emcee narrates the events to spectators scattered on picnic blankets all around.

and then there is the fourth of july parade, complete with bagpipes, makeshift family floats, and saved seats along the route for onlookers, whose families have occupied those particular patches of bag-chair-real estate since before bag chairs were invented.

these are the kinds of things that carry a certain meaning that can only be adequately translated by virtue of experience.

the monkey and the bird attend a day camp at montreat called “clubs,” which entails morning and afternoon activities led by college-aged counselors, who bring a necessary coolness to the imparting of silly songs, dances, and story telling that goes on there. the monkey would return to our rental house during lunch and, with eyes dancing, relay tales of how his counselor, ryan, wrestled a troll in the deep end of the pool at the conclusion of a treasure hunt. this event, by some sort of camp logic, resulted in the distribution of stickers to all of the campers. all of this made perfect sense to the monkey and the rest of the “blues,” as his group was called. even at age four-and-three-quarters, the monkey is already what glass calls “a camp person.”

both children look forward to the friday night circle mountain dancing and are committed to mastering the motions to novelty dances such as “the hampster dance” and “agadoo.”

the bird has chosen the car as the ideal place to practice the verses of “i’m bringing home a baby bumble bee,” a song that his older brother helps him with when he forgets the words.

about this kind of camp vocabulary, glass remarks

the special songs and ceremonies are part of so many american camps… these traditions bring kids back year after year….you let them know about all the extra rights and privileges the kids are going to get if they return as older campers. it is using all of the stage craft that all of the world’s religions have always used. the ceremonies, the chanting, the repeated words, the official honors and offices, but for an entirely different reason: to thrill children, to make them feel a part of something big and special.

i’m not going to lie. our annual sojourn to montreat is not just for the kids. i enjoy being part of an alternative, smaller world. my children are in someone else’s care from 8:30 – noon and 2-4 on weekdays. and like an older kid at traditional camp, i have the freedom to choose my own activities. i spent many hours last month in the pottery studio and hiking my favorite mountain.

but my favorite part about julys in montreat really is as glass describes. i love that my children are thrilled. it means the world to me that they get to be a part of something big and special… even if they will never be fully able to convey the meaning of it to their friends back at home.

friday and saturday brought us back topinecrest, the presbyterian camp where andy and i both spent time as campers and counselors. i officiated a five o’clock wedding there in the beautiful new chapel, so we packed up the whole fam damily and left memphis around noon. after the hour’s drive, there was plenty of time to enjoy the fall day in the country before the shin-dig.

i could write a whole post about what it’s like to try to keep up with two small boys at a wedding. there was the part where i was making small talk in the food line while the monkey engulfed himself in my dress and wrapped his body around my legs, the scene where the bird ran off into the wooded darkness, the ten minutes before the ceremony that i spent frantically looking for drawing paper for the monkey, and the constant and desperate begging for slices of the not-yet-cut wedding cake.

but this is not a post about the split second it takes for my family to turn a party into a circus. this is a post about marrying young.

the ages of the bride and groom were a topic of conversation among dismayed family and friends during the wedding weekend. the bride is 22 and the groom is 21, which makes them a year younger than andy and i were when we got married and several years older than the bride’s parents when they got married. modern wisdom suggests that it is best to do a bit of growing up before one joins one’s life to another, and though this was not my experience, i certainly see the value in doing so. but it seemed appropriate, in celebrating this couple’s courtship and marriage, to highlight the particular challenges and joys that arise when the newlywed years contain the decisions and experiences brought about by college, graduations, grad schools, vocational discernment, and watching cake boss on tv. here are some excerpts from my homily:

[Groom] and [Bride], “people are going to say that you are too young to get married.”

At least, these were the words of [Bride’s] dad, who warned his daughter of such nay saying.

 Then, he shared his own experience of marrying early, and of the grand privilege it is to grow up with one’s partner. There is something to be said for learning life’s lessons together in young adulthood… and in every age and stage to follow.

[Groom’s] sister chose and read scripture from 1^st Peter for this service, and, [Groom and Bride,] I cannot think of more fitting words for you. These words are a call for all people of faith to discern what our God-given gifts are, and to use these gifts to uplift those around us.

 This kind of discernment is ongoing, of course, but the crash course in self-discovery happens when we are young. This means that by marrying early, you will be doing the kind of work together that many people do alone…

…We are all here to celebrate the life you are building together, your shared journey of faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. Let this be so, in young adulthood…. and in every age and stage to follow.

of course, there was much  more to it than this, but while i was delivering the homily, i had one of those rare (for me) preaching experiences where i was actually feeling the words and saying them at the same time. all weddings are supposed to be a time for all of those in partnership to celebrate their lives together but at this occasion, it was especially natural and easy for andy and me to celebrate our marriage. we were in a place where we did some growing up together, and 17 years after we chased campers around the pines, we found ourselves chasing our very own children among those same old trees.

there is no one right time to get married, but marrying young was right for us. it was right for the parents of saturday’s bride, and it seems right for the newlyweds, who are presently honeymooning in st. lucia — the same place andy and i went after our wedding 11 years ago.

first name: Beth

age: 31

occupation: By vocation I am a mom and outdoor educator. These days I am a mom (full-time at home) and the youth program director for an Episcopal Diocese (part-time at home). I just finished my first book, and I’ll be teaching my first college class in the fall. (These last 2 things I do because I love them, not because I have the time.)

how do you structure your time and space? In regards to space, thankfully our new-to-us home has an extra bedroom that serves as the office/craft/library “quick – close the door, company is here!” space. This room has revolutionized my work life because I can start something and finish it later without needing to pick it up. I keep quiet toys in Eliot’s room and the louder ones in the living room. As is true with many toddlers, no matter how many toys we have (too many, thanks to the generosity of all sorts of people), his favorites will always be the broom, mop, my knitting tape measure and the blower-upper thing that came with my (underutilized) exercise ball.

As for the way I structure my time, a couple months ago, Eliot started sleeping past 6:00 a.m. on a regular-ish basis. Since this sleep change, I’ve been setting my alarm in a (not always realized) attempt to wake before him for a little yoga, e-mail check-in, to-do list overview, and, when I’m lucky, reading or knitting. Otherwise, my day revolves around his schedule which is dictated by me but must not push past his need to sleep or be crazy. I try not to work when Eliot’s awake but he loves “helping” with housework and cooking. I believe in adventures to pass the time (the park, walks, zoo outings, grocery shopping, working in the garden).

Most of my work gets done while Eliot sleeps in the afternoon.  Thursday mornings he goes to a Mother’s Morning Out program (which is almost done for the summer – yikes!), and Tuesday mornings my husband takes him to the park or somewhere just as fun. It’s impressive how much work I can get done in an uninterrupted three hour period. Since Mitch’s schedule is flexible (he’s a priest at a small church), when I need a day to finish a project he usually can accommodate this need.

I have always been a morning person and I envy all those who can work late into the night. My evenings are usually reserved for a sit-down family dinner, Eliot’s bedtime routine (Mitch and I swap dinner clean-up for bath/play/bed) and knitting or sewing. Most nights my day ends with The Daily Show.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? It’s almost time for summer camp. Directing the camp is the most consuming part of my youth program director job. I have to work more and be more creative and disciplined with my time. One blessing of my job is that Eliot is always welcome – to meetings, events and the office (when I go). Naturally then, he is at camp with me, which makes life both easier and harder. Of course it’s also late spring and I can still tolerate the heat (you can take the girl out of the northeast …) so Eliot and I go on lots of adventures whenever we can!

Mitch and I moved to our current town only a couple months ago. This move has been wonderful and rewarding on so many levels. Our new space and community bring so many highlights to an otherwise challenging season. It’s hard to get overwhelmed when good distractions abound.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season preceding this one was easily the most challenging of my life. We left a wonderful, loving seminary community when I was eight months pregnant. Our new home came with a new baby, new jobs (for me, motherhood), new culture and no grandparents. Needless to say, we have learned a lot!

One of the things I’ve learned (and continue to work on) is that I often (always) set the bar way higher than is possible for me to reach and therefore am regularly disappointed. I’ve been working on replacing “should” (I should do x, y and z … all perfectly) with “need to” or “want to” – this is part of why my current season is so comfortable.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m not sure what’s coming next. We like where we live (the town and our home). We’re managing our money better than ever before, paying off debt, and can finally start to see the end of that tunnel. We’d like more kids one day. I want to teach more and write more and craft more. Way down the road we hope to move back to the northeast but we aren’t feeling particularly antsy about anything these days (a delightful feeling, for sure).

favorite family activity/activities: going to the park, the zoo, our community garden, or anywhere else we can think of that gets us outside; playing ball of all varieties; disc golf; cooking/baking; reading

 favorite solo activities: knitting, sewing, reading, yoga, hiking/backpacking

sources of inspiration: My mom has always worked from a home office (she’s an accountant), and when I get really frazzled, she is always there. She’s there when I’m not frazzled, too! We talk usually once a day via phone, IM, or Skype, which allows her to see Eliot’s current state of crazy. My friends all provide inspiration in their own way: friends who have clergy spouses, multiple kids, creative output, or a love of the outdoors.

best MakeShift moment: Ever since Eliot was tiny, my shower time has been the easiest part of the day (and he was a hard baby). At each new stage I come up with creative things for him to play with in the bathroom – the bouncy chair when he was tiny and a blanket and some books to chew on when he was little. A Mr. Potato Head version of Elmo currently resides in one of the vanity drawers. He’s always loved books so that’ll get me a little time but lately he’s at the water stage: filling, pouring, washing. For the most part the water even stays in the sink! Like most mothers, I can tell what is happening most anywhere in the house just by listening. When all I need to listen for is on the other side of a curtain, I can be pretty sure what he’s doing and when.

find beth on the web:

• blog: http://weteyelashes.wordpress.com
• book/curriculum: To Serve and Guard the Earth: God’s Creation Story and Our Environmental Concern http://www.churchpublishing.org/products/index.cfm?fuseaction=productDetail&productID=8465#