name: Liz

age: 45

current city: Memphis

living situation: I share the home with a husband, a dog, and two sons: Gus, age seven, and Solly, age two-and-a-half (listed in order of arrival).

occupation: I’m a freelance food, family and travel writer. My regular gigs are blogging at GoWithFamily.com and writing a monthly family food column for Memphis Parent.

how do you structure your time and space? My office space is in a nook between the kitchen and the dining room, which is great when I’m writing about food or cooking from a recipe I’ve gotten off the web but lousy when my desk is messy — which is most of the time — and the kids start fooling around with my stuff. To structure my time, I’ve tried everything from hour-by-hour scheduling (I still have “shower” listed on my iCal daily plan) to caroming intuitively from one task to the next. Right now, what seems to be working is establishing a set of general priorities and making lists. On the top of my list these days is to write for at least a couple of hours and then spend some time managing and promoting my blog.

Then comes home stuff. I’m always motivated by food, much more than by housekeeping, so I usually write a plan for the week so there’s no last-minute shopping and brain-racking. We sit down most nights to a pretty good home-cooked family meal.

However, there’s a part of me that feels uneasy folding clothes or organizing our belongings. I actually think that’s kind of messed up. There’s a toxic stew of self-denial and feminist angst that makes me feel like ironing is retrogressive, time-wasting, and even frivolous, when it’s actually productive and meditative.

I have trouble taking time to meditate, even though I know it enriches me. The best compromise I’ve come up with is running without my iPod, which is pretty close to meditating. In fact, the best thing I can do for myself is simply to monotask — to do what I’m doing without distracting myself with podcasts or Facebook. Sometimes this includes music and other times it’s just quiet. Otherwise, my self-care consists of regular exercise and trying to connect with other people who are also trying to be present, patient, and useful.

Both of my kids go to a school that I love for its community and what my kids learn there–so much beyond the ABCs. After teaching for ten years, I began to question the way conventional schools — even the really good ones — function. I thought about homeschooling when the older one was little, but there’s a reason I have to work on being present, patient and useful. It doesn’t always come easily to me. So homeschooling was out. But I found a school that nurtures their inherent desire to cooperate, learn and grow.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m tempted to say it’s the tired season right now. Having two young kids and being a freelancer is busy and exhausting in a way that’s very different from other tiring, busy times I’ve had in my life. It’s different from the laser-like focus on reading and writing of my grad school days, for example. It’s not all about me.

Taking things a day at a time is important to me whether I’m packing lunches and laundering diapers or trying to pull in a few more readers each day for my blog. But for the most part, my life is the result of my choices, which means that I’ve signed up for both the pluses and the minuses. I have to review that fact periodically so as to remember how lucky I am to have choices.

The highlights are pretty great. I get to do fun stuff with my family — eating, traveling, exploring, playing, reading — and then write about it. My kids try my patience, but that’s how they teach me patience. I get to grow up. And they are lovely, affectionate, original, and so utterly themselves.

-what season(s) preceded this one? There was a waiting season while the adoption of our younger son was processing. But of course waiting wasn’t all we did. You don’t live your life waiting, especially if you already have one bright shiny kid in your lap. So it was also a time of exploration. With just one kid, I was able to volunteer at Gus’s school, at the Farmers’ Market, and take on projects that seemed like they might contribute to the community, even if just in a small way. With two kids, I’ve had to shed most of the extracurricular stuff.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I have mixed feelings about entering the period when my boys will become more independent and I’ll move back into putting more of my energy into my writing, teaching, or community work. (I didn’t have the stamina to teach and raise kids, and am seriously amazed by people who do.) But a friend of mine was reflecting on how she keeps herself in balance, and she said that it was necessary for her to avoid hanging her identity on any one of her roles — mom, worker, wife. Because it’s almost guaranteed that things will change. Well, not even ‘almost,’ in the case of the mom role.

favorite family activities: I love exploring with my kids, biking, hiking, camping, trying new foods, and visiting state parks and weird places no one else ever visits. My husband and I have to compromise, because he’s not so crazy about camping and its discomforts, so we find budget-friendly ways of staying in hotels and cabins. At home we do a lot of lying around and reading.

favorite solo activities: lying around and reading, cooking, eating, knitting, killing plants, and traveling alone (one thing I miss about my single life)

When you travel alone you can stand in front of a picture in a museum for as long as you want, or read a book in a cafe if you like. It’s just a different kind of adventure.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by my grandmother, who co-owned a travel agency in the ‘70s and ‘80s. She traveled by herself to Austria this summer, weeks before her 91st birthday, to go to a friend’s wedding.

Another source of inspiration is my dad, who reinvented himself as a poet and then started a post-retirement career publishing an Edible magazine. He’s got enormous integrity.

best MakeShift moment: The other day when the kids were extra-wild, I bought myself time to cook supper by letting them entwine all of our downstairs furniture in a giant yarn spiderweb. It’s taken me a while to recognize that messes like that don’t matter, especially when they allow me to get something done with the kids nearby.

check out liz’s blogs:

• http://gowithfamily.com
• http://peachesandbuttermilk.blogspot.com/

follow liz on twitter: @GoWithFamily

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

i returned last night from the young clergy women’s conference, the topic of which was “leading as ourselves.” as i sat in the sub-artic environs of our candler divinity school classroom and looked around at my fellow girl preachers, i was struck by both awe and jealousy. many of these women work full time in the church or other para-church settings. some of them have children, some of them work part-time or half-time, but very few seemed to be on the piecemeal job plan as i am, stringing together a haphazard collection of part-time gigs with the trials and rewards of stay-at-home motherhood.

i learned later, of course, that i am not the only one holding my life and life’s work together with odd combinations of pipe cleaners, vestments, therapy, wine, and a steam mop. the room was full of those who long, as i did, to have children; those who struggle for balance of all kinds; those who are facing transitions; and those who are wrestling with issues of identity. 

i did not know all of this on day one, though, when one of our beloved speakers, melissa clodfelter, asked us what leadership-related topics we would like to cover in our time together. so, i raised my hand and explained that i am often trying to lead from the margins. because of my simultaneous frustration and delight with the church and my desire to spend the majority of my time with the monkey and the bird, i am never central to the church’s power structures. i often feel like an outsider, and i wonder if i can ever actually effectively lead from this position. though i felt as if i were speaking only for myself at the conference, i know that the world is full of women who feel marginalized in the workplace, whether for reasons of choice or unfair circumstance. what kind of leadership do we, the women on the fringes, have to offer?

i was relieved when melissa answered that the margins are the places from which true leadership emerges. it is only by stepping outside of the structures that rule our world that we gain the perspective needed to change things. fitting in is not a prerequisite for effective leadership, as evidenced by gandhi, martin luther king jr., and jesus christ, himself! in fact, affecting change requires an uncomfortable, liminal type of existance.

i am beginning to see that leadership, from my own personal margins might look like this:

• changing the world, by raising boys who are emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and justice-seeking. brown eyes over scrambled eggs, and all that…
• remaining on the fringes of church in order to speak from a place of perspective and insight.
• remaining connected to the church so that my perspective and insight will matter.
• writing here about what it’s like to try fashion a real, meaningful life that honors my own leanings as well as the legacies handed down to me by superwomen, fifties housewives, and everyone in between.

but mostly, i’m beginning to be thankful that i never quite fit in anywhere. in an odd sort of way, i am in good company. and there is meaning to be found in the margins and proclaimed to the world. thanks for joining me in this process — this little makeshift revolution.

first name:Amie

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in a cute house in midtown Memphis with my husband Eric and our two kids.  Phoebe is five and Frankie is two.

occupation: I teach Senior Kindergarten and just finished my first kids’ craft book, so I think I may be an author too!

Sewing School, published by Storey Books, will be on the shelves this fall.

how do you structure your time and space? Oh boy, this is the hard part – finding the balance between work, writing, family, play, household chores, and crafting. I work full-time and my youngest is at daycare while the five-year-old goes to the school where I teach. Weekdays are pretty hectic and normal. We go to work/school, come home by 5:00 p.m., eat dinner, play for about thirty minutes, and then get ready for bed. After that, I have about two hours of “me time,” which usually entails Eric and me sitting on the couch, watching bad TV, and gearing up for the next day. This is also the time I might do some crafting or catch up on work. 

The weekends are when we really have fun. Eric and I try to give the kids some great experiences and expose them to ideas and activities that mean a lot to us such as the Farmers Market, museums, baseball games, gardening, nature hikes, cooking together, garage sales, and live music.  During nap time, I get busy and use my two hours to craft and work on projects. It’s amazing that when you know you only have a short amount of time, you can make it happen. Eric and I also trade off time with the kids to make room for our own creative pursuits. We definitely have to prioritize our lives. My craft room is a perpetual mess, and I have usually forgotten to do about a million things, but we are happy!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Recently, Sewing School, the children’s sewing book I co-wrote, has consumed me. This has been the season of “figuring it all out” for me — figuring out how to write a book in the first place; figuring out how to still be a mom, teacher, and now author; figuring out how to find ever-important time for myself; and figuring out how to give my kids what they need in order to be the kind of people I want them to be.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I was in the “I think I’m getting it!” season before I decided to write the book. I was getting how to be a mom and teacher, getting how to create interesting and creative experiences for my kids, and getting how to create sewing patterns for children (which then led to the book and my current craziness!).

-what season(s) might your future hold? I guess I’ll re-enter the “I think I’m getting it!” season again. Looking back, I realize that this seems to be my norm. I try something new, which turns everything upside down, and then finally “get it” before heading off on the next tangent. 

favorite family activity/activities: Right now, we all look forward to the local farmers market on Saturday mornings. And Eric’s Sunday morning pancakes are a family ritual. Everyone gets involved and helps him cook.

favorite solo activity: Sewing, definitely. I like to sew for my kids and myself and create new sewing patterns for children.

Source(s) of inspiration: I am lucky to work in such an amazing environment at my school. I work with a lot of working moms – moms who offer me advice, share stories, and sympathize with me. Without my workplace family, I would be a mess. I am also a big fan of craft blogs – some of my favorites are linked on my blog, http://sewingschool.blogspot.com. The Sewing School blog documents and shares ideas for sewing and crafting with kids as well as highlights some of my own crafting and family adventures.

Best MakeShift moment: I don’t think I’ve had my ultimate MakeShift moment yet. I’m sure it’s on the horizon, though!

I do my best to offer my kids some tools and ideas to promote independence and creativity. In the kitchen, the kids have a low drawer filled with their own cups, bowls, and plates. I also have some snacks (goldfish, pretzels, et cetera) that they can fix for themselves. While it doesn’t always work, it does keep me from making a million snacks a day!  We also have a great craft area set up for the kids with crayons, markers, paper, scissors, tape, and little recyclable containers and lids. Everything they can use is at their reach. I keep paints and glue high up so that I can control the mess. 

Recently, I helped Phoebe to wash all of her dress-up clothes outside. They were super dirty and needed some TLC. I was afraid that some of the fabric would not make it through the washer, so I got out a bucket with soapy water and she went to work! We hung them on the clothesline.  While she scrubbed away, I got some important weeding done in the garden. She had a blast and now her dress-up clothes are clean and smell fresh. 

find amie on the web:

• amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sewing-School-Hand-Sewing-Projects-Kids/dp/1603425780/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274385967&sr=8-3
• blog: http://sewingschool.blogspot.com

in yesterday’s post, i took my friend katherine’s lead and created a “fantasy to do list.”

the purpose of a fantasy to do list is to start thinking beyond all of the many obligations that abound long enough to envision what life might look like with a little added refrains of fun. items on these lists have a strange way of slipping out of the hypothetical world and into our real lives! just try it. you’ll see.

to play along:

1. just scurry over to your own blog or facebook page and create your own list (however long or short) of things you would love to do. don’t let time or resources hold you back.
2. link to my blog by either grabbing my button (html code is located in the sidebar to your right) or simply attaching the link to this post, which is http://www.themsrevolution.com/2010/05/26/play-along/.
3. comment on this post or email me (themsrevolution[at]gmail[dot]com) and let me know you’re playing.
4. then, for those who have blogs, i’ll link from my blog to yours so we can all be inspired by each other’s lists. whether you’re playing along on facebook or on a blog, let me know if you accomplish a fantasy “to do,” in the coming weeks so i can give you a shout out on my blog!
5. invite your friends to play too!

here’s what the button looks like:

now go make those lists! have more fun!

who’s playing:

• stacy
• lane (facebook)
• secret agent mom
• megan
• katherine (the originator of the fantasy to do list)
• kathi
• jessa
• lindsey
• reverendmother
• melissa
• jaime
• emmy