name: Erika

age: 31

current city: Nashville, TN

living situation: I live with my husband and our two children. Big Brother is  two-and-a- half, and Baby Sister is ten months old.  We also have two big dogs, Stella and Nala, who are very much a part of our every day.

occupation: Mostly I’m a mom right now but I am also doing some part-time youth ministry consulting for a company called Youth Ministry Architects.

how do you structure your time and space? We have a bit of a backwards life due to my husband’s work schedule. He is a counselor at a local non-profit organization, and since his work is with kids and their families, he works late every evening. He does, however, have many mornings free to be with us while his young clients are at school, and so during the week, we have our family meal and play time in the morning. While it makes for a rough end-of-the-day routine for me with the little ones, it affords him the chance to be creative with his parenting time in ways that he might not if we had a more “normal” schedule. I usually spend time in the mornings doing the things I can’t do well when my hands are full during the day. I do chores, get some of my work done, or go have an hour to do something of my choice. This schedule has also allowed me the privilege of meeting before school one morning each week with some high school girls whom I mentor. And it gives me the chance to do some consulting work. When I have to be on-site for the job, we call the grandmothers to come love on the kids.

I could speak more to the lack of structure in our space than to how we have it organized. Often we hear the phrase “it’s lived in” when we have guests over to our home, and though I have figured out that that’s the southern way of kindly saying “please don’t apologize about how incredibly messy you are,” I still like to believe that our house is very functional and, if you can look past the scattering of play things and the cheerios on the floor, it is even charming on Thursdays, which is when we really clean.

I have a desk downstairs in our playroom, but I do most of my work five feet from it in an over-sized purple chair, which is my spot. I think I might decide that no one under the age of 18 should sit in it, just to preserve it as my place in our home that is so clearly and wonderfully fingerprinted by growing children. I feel the same way about the toilet in the master bathroom, but that’s because we’re potty-training a two year old boy! It’s a very messy process.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This season is particularly challenging for me because I feel like I’m having to reinvent myself. I have spent the last decade of my life working primarily with middle school girls, and as a new mom, I feel like I’m 13 again. With the arrival of our second baby last December, I decided to quit my full-time job as a youth director so that I could be more available to our children. As I said goodbye to a job I loved, I also said goodbye to being a consistent part of a community of people who are very dear to me. Now I find myself navigating play groups and playgrounds, looking for women who might also feel available for authentic conversation (and even friendship) in a time that feels really messy and revealing for most anyone who is honest about the joys and struggles of raising small children. I also feel challenged to make enough time for myself and even with Jeremy, since our mornings are so busy with kids, and he isn’t home until very late at night.

There are also plenty of highlights for me in this time. I absolutely love watching my kids grow into who God is creating each of them to be. I love having adventures with them every single day, and I love witnessing the wonder of discovery for each of them as they explore very freely. Playing with them is a huge highlight right now, and for me, having the freedom to be available to them and to my husband without having to worry about who I’m disappointing at work is a really wonderful gift too.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I would say that prior to Baby Sister’s arrival in our world, my life appeared to have more balance. My husband and I both worked outside of our home in careers to which we felt called. We were able to figure out our schedules so that we could be accountable to our employers and our family with only ten hours of babysitting help each week. Though it definitely felt crazy at times, it was a really rich and full season at work and at home.

Ironically, I think I would claim balance in this season, in part, because as a very clueless new mom, I could escape to a job I loved and knew how to do. At the end of the day I felt like I had the privilege of being a part of someone else’s story both outside and inside of my home. In reality though, I felt a lot of guilt. If I was at work, I was missing Big Brother, and when I was at home, I often felt like I should be working. It was really hard for me to be present in the moment.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I am hopeful that I might give myself permission to dream a bit about the seasons to come. I’d like to do youth ministry in a more regular capacity in the future, but my heart also feels open to other ways of serving. It’s best for me to leave open the possibilities of what life might look like when our kids are bigger. Because I’d much rather do what I want to do than what I need to do in most circumstances, I feel like I can dream bigger if I don’t have a plan just yet. 

favorite family activities: We love going for walks to the park, and we just recently got the gear we need to safely attach the kids to our bicycles. It’s been fun riding around town with them. We also love having picnics, playing hide-and-seek, going to the zoo, and making up silly songs.  Though we don’t get there often enough, we like being in the mountains and at the beach as a family. We always grocery shop together too, and we have several made up games that we love to play in the car.

favorite solo activities: When I have alone time, I like to go for a run or a walk. I like to do some sort of craft. I like to read novels or blogs. I like to pray, and I like to take bubble baths. 

source(s) of inspiration: I’m inspired by moms who love their husbands and children well and are honest about the good and the hard parts of that journey. I’m inspired by Sesame Street and Curious George, both of which challenge me to be more creative in how to make ordinary things extraordinary and which also remind me to foster an environment that encourages and celebrates learning. I’m inspired by scripture, which makes me aware of my need for grace in my life and reminds me even and especially on the days that I feel gross that I am God’s beloved treasure. I’m inspired by teenagers—some of the ones I know want to change the world for the better because they still think it’s possible and don’t think it’s too much work. I’m inspired by old hymns.

best MakeShift moment: I always feel the need to be makeshifty at dinner time, and have figured out a couple of ways to deal with the chaos of having two small, hungry children, and no help. The first is to access our beloved Labradoodle, Stella, as my ally in this time of need. Because I can see our entire fenced-in backyard from our kitchen windows, I can open them up and send Big Brother outside, where he and Stella happily play fetch for as long as my heart desires (they would play much longer if I were not so good at making turkey sandwiches and putting frozen delights in the microwave). 

Sister loves paper, so she is entertained when we put post-it notes up on the walls and cabinets for her to pull down.  I also have discovered how wonderful it is to tape butcher paper to the kitchen floor and let the kids color while I make dinner. Sometimes we even tape big sheets to the wall and, after I draw an outline of each kid, Brother colors in the details while Sister plays with crayons. I have been known to think this is more fun than cooking or washing dishes, so this one sometimes slows me down when it comes to actually getting work done, but I don’t ever regret it. I’m learning to be okay with the fact that most days there are some leftovers on my to-do list.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

last week’s pantry week was a huge success and a little too easy. our fridge and freezer are no longer avalanches waiting to happen but the pantry is another story. any minute there could be a chocolate-covered-blueberry rock slide in there. something has to be done!

so… this week is modified pantry week. the same rules apply with a couple exceptions:

• one farmers market trip is allowed so that we get enough veggies and don’t contract scurvy.
• i took a cue from my friend tiffany and gave certain pantry items “must use” status. then, i bought a few necessary groceries to make that possible. for example, we now have chicken broth, which was the missing ingredient in several of my most brilliant makeshift culinary schemes.

monday night we had sausage and chicken gumbo using this recipe from the best of cooking light. also, the monkey and i made these tasty glazed  pumpkin cookies.

last night we had chicken pot pie using this delicious recipe from edible memphis’  melissa peterson:

2 ready-made pie crusts

1 T veggie oil

6 chicken thighs

1.5 quarts water/chicken broth (i use much less)

2 carrots peeled and diced (substituted red bell pepper)

1/2 onion diced

2 ribs celery, diced

4 T all-purpose flour

4 T butter or veggie oil

1/4 c. milk

1/2 cup frozen peas (i used leftover lady peas)

1/2 tsp. poultry seasoning (i used much more)

salt and pepper

1 egg beaten with 1 T water

2-3 T grated parmesan

in a large pot, heat oil over medium heat. brown chicken thighs, then carefully add water or broth. boil. reduce heat to a simmer. cover and cook till chicken is fall-off-the-bone tender, about 40 minutes.

remove thighs from broth and set aside to cool. add carrots, onion and celery to cooking liquid. simmer until veggies are soft, about 4 minutes. in a small saucepan, heat 4 T oil or butter. whisk in flour to make roux. add roux to veggies and broth. cook over medium heat until mixture thickens, whisking constantly. add milk.

remove skin from cooled chicken. pull meat from bones. shred and add to vegetable mixture. add poultry seasoning and season with salt and pepper. stir in frozen peas.

place bottom crust in 10″ pie plate. spoon in chicken mixture. place top crust and crimp edges. cut 3 vents into crust. brush with egg wash and sprinkle crust with parmesan cheese. bake at 350 until crust is golden brown, about 40 minutes. cool for at least 20 minutes before serving.

tonight’s must-use items: black beans, red beans, and canned corn. any guesses?

friday and saturday brought us back topinecrest, the presbyterian camp where andy and i both spent time as campers and counselors. i officiated a five o’clock wedding there in the beautiful new chapel, so we packed up the whole fam damily and left memphis around noon. after the hour’s drive, there was plenty of time to enjoy the fall day in the country before the shin-dig.

i could write a whole post about what it’s like to try to keep up with two small boys at a wedding. there was the part where i was making small talk in the food line while the monkey engulfed himself in my dress and wrapped his body around my legs, the scene where the bird ran off into the wooded darkness, the ten minutes before the ceremony that i spent frantically looking for drawing paper for the monkey, and the constant and desperate begging for slices of the not-yet-cut wedding cake.

but this is not a post about the split second it takes for my family to turn a party into a circus. this is a post about marrying young.

the ages of the bride and groom were a topic of conversation among dismayed family and friends during the wedding weekend. the bride is 22 and the groom is 21, which makes them a year younger than andy and i were when we got married and several years older than the bride’s parents when they got married. modern wisdom suggests that it is best to do a bit of growing up before one joins one’s life to another, and though this was not my experience, i certainly see the value in doing so. but it seemed appropriate, in celebrating this couple’s courtship and marriage, to highlight the particular challenges and joys that arise when the newlywed years contain the decisions and experiences brought about by college, graduations, grad schools, vocational discernment, and watching cake boss on tv. here are some excerpts from my homily:

[Groom] and [Bride], “people are going to say that you are too young to get married.”

At least, these were the words of [Bride’s] dad, who warned his daughter of such nay saying.

 Then, he shared his own experience of marrying early, and of the grand privilege it is to grow up with one’s partner. There is something to be said for learning life’s lessons together in young adulthood… and in every age and stage to follow.

[Groom’s] sister chose and read scripture from 1^st Peter for this service, and, [Groom and Bride,] I cannot think of more fitting words for you. These words are a call for all people of faith to discern what our God-given gifts are, and to use these gifts to uplift those around us.

 This kind of discernment is ongoing, of course, but the crash course in self-discovery happens when we are young. This means that by marrying early, you will be doing the kind of work together that many people do alone…

…We are all here to celebrate the life you are building together, your shared journey of faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms. Let this be so, in young adulthood…. and in every age and stage to follow.

of course, there was much  more to it than this, but while i was delivering the homily, i had one of those rare (for me) preaching experiences where i was actually feeling the words and saying them at the same time. all weddings are supposed to be a time for all of those in partnership to celebrate their lives together but at this occasion, it was especially natural and easy for andy and me to celebrate our marriage. we were in a place where we did some growing up together, and 17 years after we chased campers around the pines, we found ourselves chasing our very own children among those same old trees.

there is no one right time to get married, but marrying young was right for us. it was right for the parents of saturday’s bride, and it seems right for the newlyweds, who are presently honeymooning in st. lucia — the same place andy and i went after our wedding 11 years ago.

last night’s pantry week cuisine was a homemade, kid-made, pizza that included such oddities as meatloaf and lady peas.

i always have a stash of pizza dough in the freezer (see yesterday’s revelation that i am a food hoarder) thanks to this delicious recipe perfected by my friend, mary.

one side was “decorated” with pesto, basil, lady peas, onions, tomatoes, and an assortment of cheeses. the other side’s toppings were tomato sauce, meatloaf, pepperoni, and the same assortment of cheeses. andy was out of town, so he missed this curious culinary compilation. i invited my aunt over to partake in the weirdness, and the two of us ate all but one piece!  

pics of my pantry and fridge are coming soon. the shelves (in all of their grubby glory) are actually beginning to reveal themselves.

name: Liz

age: 45

current city: Memphis

living situation: I share the home with a husband, a dog, and two sons: Gus, age seven, and Solly, age two-and-a-half (listed in order of arrival).

occupation: I’m a freelance food, family and travel writer. My regular gigs are blogging at GoWithFamily.com and writing a monthly family food column for Memphis Parent.

how do you structure your time and space? My office space is in a nook between the kitchen and the dining room, which is great when I’m writing about food or cooking from a recipe I’ve gotten off the web but lousy when my desk is messy — which is most of the time — and the kids start fooling around with my stuff. To structure my time, I’ve tried everything from hour-by-hour scheduling (I still have “shower” listed on my iCal daily plan) to caroming intuitively from one task to the next. Right now, what seems to be working is establishing a set of general priorities and making lists. On the top of my list these days is to write for at least a couple of hours and then spend some time managing and promoting my blog.

Then comes home stuff. I’m always motivated by food, much more than by housekeeping, so I usually write a plan for the week so there’s no last-minute shopping and brain-racking. We sit down most nights to a pretty good home-cooked family meal.

However, there’s a part of me that feels uneasy folding clothes or organizing our belongings. I actually think that’s kind of messed up. There’s a toxic stew of self-denial and feminist angst that makes me feel like ironing is retrogressive, time-wasting, and even frivolous, when it’s actually productive and meditative.

I have trouble taking time to meditate, even though I know it enriches me. The best compromise I’ve come up with is running without my iPod, which is pretty close to meditating. In fact, the best thing I can do for myself is simply to monotask — to do what I’m doing without distracting myself with podcasts or Facebook. Sometimes this includes music and other times it’s just quiet. Otherwise, my self-care consists of regular exercise and trying to connect with other people who are also trying to be present, patient, and useful.

Both of my kids go to a school that I love for its community and what my kids learn there–so much beyond the ABCs. After teaching for ten years, I began to question the way conventional schools — even the really good ones — function. I thought about homeschooling when the older one was little, but there’s a reason I have to work on being present, patient and useful. It doesn’t always come easily to me. So homeschooling was out. But I found a school that nurtures their inherent desire to cooperate, learn and grow.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’m tempted to say it’s the tired season right now. Having two young kids and being a freelancer is busy and exhausting in a way that’s very different from other tiring, busy times I’ve had in my life. It’s different from the laser-like focus on reading and writing of my grad school days, for example. It’s not all about me.

Taking things a day at a time is important to me whether I’m packing lunches and laundering diapers or trying to pull in a few more readers each day for my blog. But for the most part, my life is the result of my choices, which means that I’ve signed up for both the pluses and the minuses. I have to review that fact periodically so as to remember how lucky I am to have choices.

The highlights are pretty great. I get to do fun stuff with my family — eating, traveling, exploring, playing, reading — and then write about it. My kids try my patience, but that’s how they teach me patience. I get to grow up. And they are lovely, affectionate, original, and so utterly themselves.

-what season(s) preceded this one? There was a waiting season while the adoption of our younger son was processing. But of course waiting wasn’t all we did. You don’t live your life waiting, especially if you already have one bright shiny kid in your lap. So it was also a time of exploration. With just one kid, I was able to volunteer at Gus’s school, at the Farmers’ Market, and take on projects that seemed like they might contribute to the community, even if just in a small way. With two kids, I’ve had to shed most of the extracurricular stuff.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I have mixed feelings about entering the period when my boys will become more independent and I’ll move back into putting more of my energy into my writing, teaching, or community work. (I didn’t have the stamina to teach and raise kids, and am seriously amazed by people who do.) But a friend of mine was reflecting on how she keeps herself in balance, and she said that it was necessary for her to avoid hanging her identity on any one of her roles — mom, worker, wife. Because it’s almost guaranteed that things will change. Well, not even ‘almost,’ in the case of the mom role.

favorite family activities: I love exploring with my kids, biking, hiking, camping, trying new foods, and visiting state parks and weird places no one else ever visits. My husband and I have to compromise, because he’s not so crazy about camping and its discomforts, so we find budget-friendly ways of staying in hotels and cabins. At home we do a lot of lying around and reading.

favorite solo activities: lying around and reading, cooking, eating, knitting, killing plants, and traveling alone (one thing I miss about my single life)

When you travel alone you can stand in front of a picture in a museum for as long as you want, or read a book in a cafe if you like. It’s just a different kind of adventure.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by my grandmother, who co-owned a travel agency in the ‘70s and ‘80s. She traveled by herself to Austria this summer, weeks before her 91st birthday, to go to a friend’s wedding.

Another source of inspiration is my dad, who reinvented himself as a poet and then started a post-retirement career publishing an Edible magazine. He’s got enormous integrity.

best MakeShift moment: The other day when the kids were extra-wild, I bought myself time to cook supper by letting them entwine all of our downstairs furniture in a giant yarn spiderweb. It’s taken me a while to recognize that messes like that don’t matter, especially when they allow me to get something done with the kids nearby.

check out liz’s blogs:

• http://gowithfamily.com
• http://peachesandbuttermilk.blogspot.com/

follow liz on twitter: @GoWithFamily

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

i don’t know whether to be delighted or embarrassed about how well we have eaten during pantry week. let’s face it. my name is mary allison, and i am a food hoarder.

last night’s entree was this double-cheese meatloaf  from cooking light. my lamb, ground beef, and sausage combination worked really well, as did my substitution of front-yard-basil for the called-for parsley. i didn’t get a chance to photograph the meal until it was almost gone, but as you can see, it disappeared fast.

along with the meatloaf, we had some farmers’ market lady peas (purchased saturday before we hatched the pantry week plan) and some broccoli that was nearing its date of expiration.

apparently, i am not the only person who is seeking better organization through eating. many of you have responded to our little pantry week experiment with your own versions of this challenge, and some of you have even sent me your favorite makeshift recipes. here is one that’s in keeping with the meatloaf theme:

elise’s makeshift meatloaf:

add crumbled crackers or oatmeal to hold leftover meat together. add one egg, some worcestershire sauce or ketchup, salt and pepper. put it in a loaf pan or dutch oven and cook at 350 for 45 minutes or until done.

tonight’s menu will feature a return of the lady peas in an unconventional fashion. any guesses where they will turn up?

what do spinach linguini, cherry tomatoes, turky kielbasa, leftover marinara sauce, and basil have in common?

they were all part of andy’s pantry week  pasta perfection.

last night’s chef would also like me to mention that he ran six miles on the greenline before he whipped up this tasty assemblage.

for those of you who have lost sleep pondering the fate of our seven cans of pumpkin, you’ll be interested to know that our supply is now down to six and a half cans. i used half a can yesterday to make these starbucks pumpkin scones.

the scones turned out okay, which is to say that my kids loved them. but then again, my kids also love dora gummies and ketchup-covered-quesadillas. i don’t think they taste as good as they look, perhaps because i used skim milk instead of whole milk and a combination of white and wheat flours.

i’m hoping to try a pumpkin soup before this little experiment is over, though i have not excavated the pantry to the point of uncovering any sort of broth, which would be necessary for such an undertaking.

thawing as i type are three more ingredients that are bound for pantry week promised land:

• half a pound of ground beef
• half a pound of ground lamb
• half a pound of ground sausage

what will come of them is anybody’s guess.

the first night of pantry week was so easy and delicious that i caught myself making grandiose pronouncements about adding seven more days to our challenge. time will tell.

i adapted a recipe i found in anne byrn’s dinner doctor, a valuable resource when it comes to making something out of nothing in the kitchen. let me enlighten those who are not yet aware that you can add two eggs, a cup of milk, and a half a cup of bisquick to anything in your fridge to make a pie. it’s genius.

our particular “impossible pie” included half a pound of leftover breakfast sausage (cooked), half an onion and a few cloves of garlic (sauteed), some leftover takeout spinach from pete and sam’s restaurant, mozzarella, and a sprinkling of feta cheese. here’s the formula in case you want to work your own version of bisquick magic:

• mist a 9-inch pie pan with cooking spray.
• layer 1 to 2 cups of leftover meats/veggies in the bottom of pan.
• cover with 1 cup of cheese.
• whisk 2 eggs, 1 cup of milk, and half a cup of bisquick in a bowl and pour into pie pan.
• bake at 400 for 20-25 minutes or until pie is golden brown and firm to the touch.

as i type, andy is rummaging through the pantry planning tonight’s fare. at last count, we have seven cans of pumpkin in there. this could get really interesting, folks.

[source for this post can be found on the bibliography page listed on the sidebar to your right.]

one afternoon last week, when i opened the pantry to get the kids a snack, i was bombarded with an avalanche of chocolate chips, tea bags, pretzels, granola bars, and miscellaneous packets of bakers yeast.

and then, this morning, as i was reaching into the fridge for the creamer, i was met with a hailstorm of blueberries.

hazards such as these can only mean one thing: it is time for a pantry week in our house.

for the next seven days, there will be no meal-planning or food purchasing (apart from a few kid staples, and of course, coffee). andy and i will take turns coming up with creative concoctions with the vast array of random food items crammed into the far corners of our kitchen. so get ready for the cheese-toast pizzas, the bizarre quiche-like entrees, and the breakfast pasta dishes. i’ll be posting about our makeshift meals… the good, the bad, and the ugly.

and now for an update on elvis, the webkinz mountain goat:

elvis lives, despite my best efforts to off him. the plush real-life elvis is quite at home with the monkey and enjoys frequent outings to the park and to his grandparents’ house.

elvis’ web persona is still living the high life in his room with his wet bar, area rug, and cactus. after consulting with some experts (middle schoolers), i learned that the best way to contribute to the demise of a webkinz is to play with it regularly but not to feed it. i have been employing this strategy lately and have even refrained from feeding elvis the jar of pickles i received yesterday just for logging in. however, so far he seems no worse for the wear. suggestions? shouldn’t he at least be getting sick enough to merit a trip to “dr. quack?”

stay tuned…

andy and i have never exactly been the late night partying type. even before the monkey and bird hit the scene, we could rarely stay awake for so much as a late movie. i know. it’s pitiful.

but even now that our late-night drowsiness is justified by early rising and toddler-chasing, we still love to imagine ourselves as the kind of people who can stay out past ten o’clock without turning into pumpkins. we set our sights on an occasional party or the midnight bike tour, for example, arrange for the kids to spend the night with their grandparents, and count down the days ’til our big blowout.

but something always happens in that liminal time after we drop off the kids but before we arrive at our destination. the thought of simply going to bed at 6:30 creeps its way in, and in an instant, our wild self-ideations are replaced with the allure of an entire night of uninterrupted rest, complete with comfortable pajamas, bad television, and takeout supper.

i have no idea why andy and i were able to resist the bed’s magnetic force last night. we came thisclose to bagging our plans to hear our favorite college band, jackopierce, play at the levitt shell. and i will admit that it wasn’t until we were sitting snugly on our quilt listening to the soundtrack of our college days that we turned to each other and said,

“i’m really glad we came!”

don’t get me wrong. sleeping is still my all-time favorite activity. but last night i remembered that listening to good music, re-living good memories, and resisting the rut can be energizing too.

and p.s. if you want to know what cary and jack have been up to, check out this link.