first name: Jane

age: 75 (yikes!)

current city: Raleigh, NC

living situation: I live in a small (one bedroom) apartment with my spouse who is serving a  Presbyterian Church as an interim pastor. He retired in 1998 and immediately began a new career in ministry – serving churches in transition. This assignment is his ninth interim pastorate. We maintain a permanent home in Canyon Lake, TX, but have spent very little time there in the past twelve years.

occupation: writer; retired teacher

how do you structure your time and space? I enjoy participating with my spouse in a variety of church activities, often teaching adult study courses with him and presenting programs to various groups. We have both served as retreat leaders. However, I structure my time to allow at least four hours daily to write or participate in writer-related activities. I attend book groups, poetry readings and do a lot of individual reading and studying.

I grocery shop, clean the apartment, do laundry and errands on one or two afternoons – usually Thursday since our local grocery offers a 5% discount to senior citizens on Thursday and I am definitely of Scots heritage. I volunteer at a transitional house one afternoon a week and sit with an elderly mother of one of the church members on Monday nights while her daughter attends a Bible Study. I try to structure my time so that I am free when my spouse has time off (Fridays). Fortunately, we enjoy each other’s company. I walk about four miles every day, usually in mid-afternoon.

Our marriage began in the 1950s when few women worked outside the home. Therefore, we got into the habit of my doing the majority of housework. After our five children were of school age, I began teaching and we tried to break that habit and share more home responsibilities. We have not been so successful. Daily household chores (cooking, et cetera) are mostly up to me!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Since I am not a hermit and am energized by people, I have had a difficult time during our frequent transitions during the last twelve years settling into a routine and sticking to it. Invitations from hospitable people are welcomed and I do not want to shut the door to possible friendships. It also takes a  period of time to arrange logistics when moving to a new locale. Changing doctors, grocery stores, physical location takes time and interrupts the smoothness of a “settled” life. However, there is a tremendous upside to this dilemma. New people and places provide inspiration for writing. There are also new local authors to discover and new poetry groups with perhaps different perspectives. We have been in the Northeast, South and Southwest during this time and each area has enriched us and instructed us. I have written in libraries, on park benches, in the concourse of Rockefeller Center and even sometimes at home. I happily conclude that writing is a portable activity stimulated by a variety of settings.

My particular challenge now is to find a publisher. Some of my individual poems have been published, but I would like to publish a collection.

As to satisfaction, this season of my life (I suppose it would be fall-winter — I am way over the two-thirds mark!) is one of great fulfillment. I have finally learned to be somewhat selective and protective of my time which I never felt I could be when I was a fulltime mother and a fulltime teacher. Thanks to good health, my spouse and I are experiencing an active and meaningful time of life. We are especially enriched by our role as grandparents and keep in close touch with family members who live in various parts of the country, visiting with them as often as schedules allow.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Growing up in a wonderful town with a good family support system, active in church activities always even when I did not understand the reasons why I should be, afforded an excellent education in a convent school (day student), a small Methodist college and a large state university. I worked as a child welfare worker prior to our marriage, taught for several years while my spouse was in seminary (spring), became a fulltime mother to five children for about seventeen years (summer), returned to teaching for about twenty-five years (early fall), and then retired to begin writing fulltime (late fall and winter). I loved all seasons and remember them with much pleasure!

-what season(s) might your future hold? I hope that my winter is a long one because I have always loved hearing the wind outside, feeling the cold, walking in the snow, making soup and reading and writing by the fireplace. However, when the snow begins to fall heavy and deep and I can no longer find my way, I hope to lie down in its white softness and “make angels” as I did so long ago as a child. I will then look forward to whatever is ahead with excitement and anticipation – a new adventure beyond this life and my final season in it.

favorite family activities: Being with my spouse and grandchildren playing games, celebrating special events and enjoying each other. Since camping together is almost impossible as they grow older, schedule-wise, we will chaperone, attend athletic events and school activities, go to Grandparents’ Day and pretend to enjoy the school cafeteria meal when we are able to participate, and stay in close touch however we can when we live at a distance. Texting and Facebook are two foolproof methods!

favorite solo activities: reading, writing, walking

sources of inspiration: My spouse (really!) and our grandchildren, old and new friends, and good writing. I also find inspiration in quiet places where nature is evident – parks, campgrounds and picnic spots. I think many of life’s moments involve inspiration. One of our son’s broken relationship resulting in a divorce provided me with a lot of poetic inspiration.

best MakeShift moment: When we lived in New York City, I searched and searched for a place to write. I tried the main city library, several nearby branches, Central Park, Bryant Park, and several local coffee shops. Then, one day as I was waiting to meet my spouse, I went into the Rockefeller Center Concourse and found areas where there were tables and chairs for public use. I chose a table with a view onto the skating rink. I listened to the cacophony of sounds as people walked through the concourse finding coffee, picking up a breakfast or lunch in one of the shops in the building or just cutting through from one destination to another in midtown. It was a perfect spot for me and I began to go there on a daily basis to write in the midst of the city noises that I loved. Many other people had their “offices” there. I heard business deals being made over a croissant and old friends from other areas of the country meeting there after years of separation, school children following their teachers to a section of chairs and tables where they unpacked their lunches and appreciated a day away from their classroom and loners who nursed a cup of coffee for hours as they worked on their computers. I had a legal pad, a pen and my ears and eyes. I produced more poetry during that period that I ever have! It taught me that I at least need some “people” sounds to encourage my creativity!

the above photograph was taken by “seventiescopshow” and can be found on the web at http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/4886599.jpg.

one of the benefits of the blogging life is that i’m starting to really notice things around my house for their creativity and absurdity. it all started when anne  found our ridiculously wonderful baby gate to be a source of humor and encouraged me to write a post about it. now i’m beginning to see everything for its potential to make me laugh. as it turns out, makeshift stuff is really funny! here are a few examples:

the whoopee cushion is more than a brilliant simulator of flatulence. it makes the perfect resting place for a half-eaten sucker.

and, as it would happen, an empty tangueray container is second only to the quaker oats can when it comes to the storage of hot wheels.

i wish i could take credit for these genius innovations but both are the brain children of my three-year-old monkey.

what are the hidden sources of makeshift humor in your house?

i spent a large portion of my young adult years convinced that the object of life is to be perfect. since i am a minister, some of this was steeped in what i thought was the perfection of jesus. in the area of my spiritual life, i was relieved to learn that the word “pefect” in greek really means “whole.” thank goodness!

but some of my drive for perfection was cultural and was fed by the sleek women’s bodies in style magazines, the pants-suit warriors hammering through the glass ceiling, and finally, the mothers who seemed to float along on lofty platitudes pertaining to breast-feeding, tv-watching, organic-eating, penny-pinching, floor-time playing, and the like. i am strangely grateful that my resolve for perfection died (for the most part) long before i became a mother, myself. it was a painful death, mind you, complete with anxiety attacks and some really good therapy.

but in my experience, we don’t move from perfectionist tendencies to normalcy all at once. there are stages involved, and stage one frequently swings the pendulum in the complete opposite direction. what was once an ugly competition to modal impossible ideals becomes an equally ugly competition to denounce them. in other words, the “i suck contest” begins, and in the context of motherhood, it usually goes something like this:

mother 1: “i haven’t showered in two days.”

mother 2: “oh, please. i haven’t showered in two weeks.”

mother 1: “well, my children watched six hours of pbs today.”

mother 2: “cry me a river. my children watched seven hours of dora today, and my son speaks only in spanglish.”

these conversations are rampant, partly because they are funny and easy. i have participated enthusiastically in these “i suck contexts” because the other common ways in which moms frequently commune (through defending or bragging) are truly abysmal. i am happy to be the very picture of imperfection all day long if the only other alternative is depleting fellow mothers or feeling depleted myself.

but surely there are healthier ways for mothers to be together! there has got to be a way for moms to come clean (pardon the pun) about the daily struggle for balance and sanity without all of this self-deprecating language. this is so difficult when language like this is popping up everywhere and is frequently opening pathways of connection between us. how can we embrace the “i suck contest” for its value and then move beyond it into something deeper and more life-giving?

cognitive behavioral therapists would say that we have to modify our thoughts and language first, and changes in our behavior will follow. so, to that end, i’ll go first.

my name is mary allison. i’m a mother. i am not perfect, nor do i suck.

who’s with me?

[as promised, here is sarah’s new york times letter to the editor:]

To the Editor:

As a 28-year-old former New Yorker with a successful career in marketing, I am constantly thinking about work-life balance as my husband and I prepare to try for our first baby.

His thriving career would allow me to stay home with few financial sacrifices. Still, I’ve fought hard to convince him that I can share the privilege of providing for our family so that he’ll have the same freedom I do to pursue alternate career paths and a deep relationship with our children.

These young women who have their hearts set on dabbling in a job for a decade before raising families full time are about as realistic as Naugahyde – it’s the 1950’s all over again, with a twist.

They’re locking today’s men in the provider role just as securely as postwar women were locked into the homemaker role. Not fair then; not fair now.

Sarah

Tampa, Florida

first name: Sarah

age: 33 

current city: Tampa

living situation: Husband and son, age two. We live in an older house close to downtown.

occupation: Marketing director for a Fortune 100 insurance company

how do you structure your time and space? I have a traditional corporate job where I’m required to be at my office from about 8:30-5:00, five days a week. However, I don’t have a Blackberry or a laptop for security reasons, so I really do leave it all at the office. My son goes to a wonderful daycare, and he adores his teachers and his friends there.

My home-making philosophy in a nutshell: outsourcing. I have a house cleaner and I use a meal preparation service where I go to a commercial kitchen and prepare a month’s worth of dinners to freeze. My house is far cleaner and we eat much better (for the same price) than when we did all this ourselves! This way, I can spend the time I do have with my son in the mornings and evenings focusing on him, not cooking dinner or picking up the house.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? My current season is winter, because in winter we draw closer to our families, huddle together to enjoy each others’ warmth, and eliminate unnecessary things from our lives in order to conserve energy. It’s a great metaphor for my life right now because I’m constantly choosing family over other interests. It’s hard to resist the temptation to pack things into my life, but I am a better mother when I am focused and not worn out by too many outside demands.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer, because I had a job that involved more “playtime” (marketing for a nonprofit) but also required really long days and weekends at the expense of my family.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Right now we’re in a little bit of a holding pattern. Once our future plans are clearer, I think it will feel like fall, when you get that “back to school” feeling, plan out your activities, get into a new routine, and meet new people.

favorite family activity: Our neighborhood has quiet streets and wonderful parks with playgrounds, so we load up the jogging stroller and take a family walk to the playground. It’s free, we get some exercise, and we always meet a new friend.

favorite solo activity: If I bolt out the door the second my son’s head hits the pillow at night, I can make it to a 7:30 hot yoga class and he never even knows I’m gone.

sources of inspiration: Myself, five years ago! I went on the record in a very public way (letter to the editor of the New York Times) about my commitment to sharing the responsibility of supporting my family so that my husband could pursue his career dreams and be an involved parent to our children. Right after the letter was published, my husband supported me when I quit a great corporate job to do something I’d always wanted to do—marketing for a nonprofit that served families and children. Then, last fall, he took a long-awaited opportunity to shift from a well-paid advertising agency leadership position into full time teaching at the college level, and I was able to go back to a corporate marketing job to bring in more income. I was so proud that I could help make his dream a reality, and his job will get even more flexible and family-friendly as time goes on.

 Don’t get me wrong. It has been so hard to “walk the walk”, but in the end it’s worked out like I hoped. And when I get overwhelmed or think that I am a horrible mother for having a full-time job outside the home, I remember how proud I was of my mother for helping to support our family financially, and that I always felt close to her even though there were other people who took care of me during the day. Plus, what two-year-old doesn’t LOVE having daddy around more often!

best MakeShift moment: Recently we got a massive heating bill, so I bought a programmable thermostat. Of course, I wanted to install it right away, but I had to cut off the power so I didn’t electrocute myself while I connected the wiring, and it was hard to see in the dark hallway with the lights off. So I had my son hold the flashlight, and my husband hold my son, so that I could see to install the thermostat on the wall. It was an instant family bonding moment, and I got a big “to-do” done too. Now, my son even “helps” alongside me with his little pretend tools while I do all sorts of household projects. He thinks we’re playing together!

stay tuned for tomorrow’s post: sarah’s new york times letter to the editor.

check out the MakeShift revolution’s dancing in the kitchen mix, volume 1, designed to make the pre-dinner scramble just a little less difficult. just add wine (for the adults) and bad dancing (for all) to your cooking/ordering out process, and you’ll be well on your way to putting a meal on the table with a smile!

by way of a testimonial, i tried this last night and both of my kids gave me five whole minutes of tail-feather-shaking peace. i was able to chop a red pepper AND an onion while my children swayed to the not-so-subliminal message from di anne price that spinach really does taste good if you allow it to “grow on you.” then, when the whining started (sparked by the bird’s komikaze pantry-emptying techniques), i simply turned up the volume and enjoyed a little old time bluegrass.

if you contributed suggestions for this masterpiece via facebook, thanks so much for your ideas. if your suggested song did not make the cd, that’s because

 a)      i have embarrassing memories of making out to it when I was in seventh grade

b)      my dad played it over and over again in the car on family vacations*

c)      an annoying boy I knew in high school ruined it for me with his constant disco moves

d)      your suggestion sent me down the i-tunes rabbit hole, and I emerged with a different but related song…or…

e)      i stayed up too late memorizing all the words to your suggested song at a slumber party that became really un-fun once I learned that window-unit air conditioner had leaked on my sleeping bag.

bring on the suggestions for volume 2!

*yes, i know i am perpetuating this cycle. when my children are 33 and wasting their time on itunes, they will probably avoid my carefully selected kitchen music!

first name: Jennifer

age: 36 

current city: Germantown , TN

living situation: I live in a house in the “burbs” with my husband and two children (ages five and eight) and a dog.

occupation: I am a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor, and I own a small business that provides fitness programming for moms. This is my second career; prior to having children I did legislative and non-profit work.

how do you structure your time and space? This is the first year that my children are both in school 5 days a week (some of these days are half-days for my younger). I teach six to seven classes each week at two different locations. I cart my equipment around in the back of my minivan, and my home base/office is a spare room in our house. I spend my early mornings preparing breakfasts, packing lunches, and getting ready for the day. Once the kids are at school, I teach a class or two, run errands, and take care of emails, phone calls, planning, and paperwork. Once the kids are home from school, my primary focus is on family matters. I spend time with the kids, take them to ballet or basketball practice, prepare dinner, and join my husband in putting kids to bed. I teach a night class once a week. This entails dining with the family and then leaving my husband to handle the rest of the kids’ evening.

There is one weekday morning when I do not teach. I try protect this “me day” by not scheduling anything that I do not really enjoy. I generally go for a long run and then do some reading. I always spend some time in the evening reading too. Weekends are mostly family time with a run or a yoga class in the mix.

My work is very family-friendly. All but two of my classes are for women and their children (generally ages six weeks to four years). Up until this year, my younger child was regularly with me in class, and during school breaks, I bring my kids with me. The only time I really have difficulty with work and child-care is if one of my kids is sick. Fortunately, my husband’s schedule is flexible enough that he usually can stay home with a sick child while I go to class.

Housework definitely takes a back seat for me, and so at this moment (and this is typical) there are all sorts of school papers and mail scattered on the kitchen counter. There is some kid’s artwork-in-progress on the table, and my desk is covered in my stuff plus a baby doll, a walkie-talkie, some Lego’s, and a light saber. I like the idea of living in a clean, uncluttered house, but I’m not willing to give up anything else that I do in order to make time for it. Anytime we are having guests over, I run around like a crazy person trying to clean because I just can’t let go of the idea that things SHOULD be neat and orderly!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have been thinking a lot recently about how I perceive myself to be in the midst of a transition from one season to another. My youngest child will start kindergarten next year, so I will be the parent of two school-age children.  Currently, I am considering ways that I can work a bit more and contribute more to our family income, while hopefully also maintaining the flexibility that I enjoy now.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I spent several years as a “stay-at-home” mom. In the time just before having my first child, I was very unsure about the career path I was on and spent a lot of time thinking about other possible directions in which I could go. We happened to move to Memphis from a different city during my pregnancy, which made it easier stop working (outside the home) altogether for a while. I really enjoyed this time with my kids and feel like it gave me a great deal of freedom to embark on a new path. We still feel a bit financially behind because of this, but overall I have been happy with my path.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I don’t really have a five or ten year plan (I’m just trying to work on a 12-month plan)! I envision that as my kids get older and more independent I will spend more time working and doing things that I enjoy (I love my current work). I am hoping to be able to travel more. I also have this crazy goal of someday participating in a 50-mile, or maybe even 100-mile, ultramarathon. 

favorite family activity: We enjoy going for walks out in the woods (for example on the Wolf River Trails),  having family movie nights, and making pancakes together on Sunday mornings.

favorite solo activity: running, yoga, reading

sources of inspiration: my family, other moms (those who are balancing their responsibilities while also caring for themselves and maintaining their own happiness/sanity), books, beautiful and peaceful places

best MakeShift moment: When my oldest child was two years old, I formed a co-op preschool program with five other moms. “Co-op” met one morning a week for two and a half  hours. Each week, according to a rotating schedule, there were two moms who planned and implemented theme-based play-related activities, a craft, outside play, snack and story time. The other moms would drop off their kids and enjoy a morning of free time. We all brought our lunches and enjoyed a meal together at morning’s end. Once every couple of months we took the kids on field trips including a MATA bus ride to Davis-Kidd for story time. We continued the program for two years, and now that the kids are all in second and third grade, we still get together once a month for dinner.

Around the house (often while I am making dinner), we play “sink or float.”  I give each of the kids a large bowl/pan of water and some aluminum foil. They craft little boats with the foil and test them out to see if they float. I also find that those little free notepads are great entertainment when I am trying to get things done. I can give my five-year-old a notepad and pen, and she will happily fill every single page with her “notes.”

read more about jennifer’s business at www.strollerfit.com/germantown.

here’s a fossil-like piece of advice for housewives in 1969:

“when father returns home in the evening, he needs a quiet transition period between the demands of the world and the demands of his family. father should not be met at the door with a bombardment of complaints and requests. a ready drink, a hot shower, the daily mail, the weekly magazine, and the ‘no questions’ period help create an oasis of tranquility that adds greatly to the quality of family life. from early childhood, children learn that when daddy comes home, he needs a short period of calm and comfort” (ginott, 136).

dear god, thank you for not making me a housewife in 1969. amen.

[source found in bibliography section of sidebar.]

first name: Anne

age: 44 

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in Memphis with my husband and two daughters, who are 10 and 12. My 20-year old son is at the University of Michigan. He comes home for winter, spring and summer breaks, and I miss him like crazy the rest of the time.

occupation: Pediatric Occupational Therapist

how do you structure your time and space? Currently, I work full-time as a therapist for the school system. My husband and I share taking the girls to school in the mornings, and we’ve hired a college student to pick them up from school four days a week. I’m usually home Monday through Thursday by 4:00 or 4:30, at which point all of the homework is finished and time permitting, the dishwasher is empty and a load of laundry has been done! I love picking up the girls up on Fridays. We usually go out for ice cream or cup cakes or some sort of delicious, unhealthy snack.

The only part of home-making that I get credit for is cooking, emptying the dishwasher, gardening and pitching in on paying for the housekeeper. As long as I can work enough to help cover the bill, I’m going to keep that up! As far as recreation, I try to force myself to exercise, which I absolutely despise. I convince myself to occasionally walk or get on the elliptical by remembering that I want to be around for my children and grandchildren. My favorite recreation is to hang out with my husband and kids in the evenings, talk about our day, and maybe even have a glass wine (only the parents, not the kids!).

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The most recent adjustment for me has been going back to work full-time. Financially, this job is making a huge difference in our ability to pay for our son’s college and save for our daughters’ future college tuition. Yet, I struggle with guilt, because I would like to be able to pick the girls up from school every day, drive on the field trips, and be more involved in the PTA, et cetera. My youngest daughter, Hanna, frequently asks, “Can you pick me up today?” or “Can you drive on this field trip?” This leaves me feeling 2-inches tall. On the positive side, my job is fun, the hours are great, and you can’t beat being off work for fall, Christmas, spring and summer breaks!

-what season(s) preceded this one? I just completed my Ph.D. in Educational Psychology, which I worked on part-time over an 8-year period. I was employed part-time as a therapist and did mommy duty. As stressful as it sounds, this was a wonderful time in my life because I made my own schedule, and even though school was stressful, I absolutely loved all my classes and learning. I also loved the challenge of fitting work and study time in between the hours of parents’ day out, preschool and eventually elementary school! The really tough part didn’t come until the last year…the dreaded dissertation. I think that part was harder on my husband that anyone else. He couldn’t stand that my head was always in a book or a computer. But those days are over now! I know he’s glad.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Currently I’m in the process of writing a parenting book. My goal is to bring in enough money from other projects such as this so that I can go back to working part-time as a therapist. Ideally, I’d like to work as an Occupational Therapist three days a week. I’m also interested in starting an educational program for young unwed mothers in the Memphis/Midsouth area that educates them on the importance of prenatal care and basic parenting techniques. Because the Memphis area has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the country, I believe that a program like this has the potential to really make a difference.

favorite family activity: What’s most important to me is spending time with my husband and children. I’d rather work during the day when my kids are in school and pay someone to take care of the housework, so that from 4:30 on (as well as weekends) I’m free to have more quality family time. We enjoy cooking, porch sitting, playing cards and board games and watching our favorite TV shows together.

favorite solo activity: I love hanging out at coffee shops, reading, sewing, pondering, painting and gardening.

sources of inspiration: books, good quotes, Fridays, friends, love.

best MakeShift moment: My youngest daughter, Hanna, has an odd obsession with injuries. Over the years, she’s feigned a variety of boo boos including sprained ankles, fingers, and the like. As a result, we have a collection of ace bandages, finger splints, and even an old pair of crutches from a foot injury that not-so-coincidentally occurred after Santa brought a toy cast and pair of crutches to her American Girl Doll.

Recently, Hanna claimed that she hurt her wrist during gymnastics. I inspected the injury site and there was no sign of redness or swelling, just her familiar dramatic cries of “ouch” when I touched it. Our wrist splint was worn out, so being the good therapist that I am, I decided to repair it. I used splinting material to touch it up and make a new support bar. As is typical, Hanna continued to complain over the following days but I was surprised when she reported to be in too much pain for her next gymnastics class. We headed straight to an orthopedic doctor, who subsequently informed us that she had a small fracture on the growth plate in her wrist!

As I was sitting there feeling like a totally horrible mother, he told us that she would need to wear a cast for at least 4 weeks. Then he picked up the makeshift splint that she’d been wearing, looked it over carefully, cocked an eyebrow and asked, “Hanna, have you been wearing this since you hurt your wrist?” She nodded and informed him that the splint was broken, and her mom had fixed it. I sunk a little in my seat. The doctor smiled and said, “I like this splint. I like the support. Hanna, I’ll give you one week’s credit for wearing this. You only have to wear the cast for three weeks.” Then he winked at me. I couldn’t believe it. Did he really believe that the splint had given her wrist enough support? His saying so sure made me feel better…that along with the fact that an incredibly cute, young doctor had winked at me!

if you or someone you know would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the sidebar to your right for pages about the nomination process.

two summers ago i attended a women’s conference in montreat, north carolina. there, we examined and discussed the various and brillient ways in which women are making a difference in the world. i was inspired by talk of women who brought about peace in liberia, founded women’s shelters, and lived lives of compassion in calcutta. but i was also discouraged about the modesty of my own little life as a part-time minister and full time mother. i felt the urge to do something bigger and more important, and when i expressed this to the speaker in a forum full of conferees, i opened myself up to the following feedback that came to me from all directions for the rest of the week. it generally went something like this:

“you are young, and smart, and your life is full of potential for making a difference inside of your home and out in the world. your motherhood is every bit as important as your career; the effect you have on your children is equally as important as the effect you have as a minister. YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALL AT ONCE. there are seasons of your life that are spent largely at home, and there are seasons that can be spent engaging with the world one important project at a time. be patient. don’t get ahead of yourself. enjoy every season for the pleasures it brings and the good it allows you to do.”

this is really good advice, however cliche it has become. and i try to remember it when it feels like what i’m doing is too small, and when i’m trying to resist the urge to cram my already full life with preschool fundraisers, additional preaching gigs, ideations of elaborate dinner parties, books i want to write, et cetera.

at its worst, the seasons metaphor could lure women into satisfaction with lives that are too small. but for me, a constant crammer of too many activities into folds of time and space that are not built to hold them, the seasons metaphor serves its best purpose. it helps me to see the advantages of my current season, and it makes me want to embrace them for the short-lived gems that they are.

pictured in this post are eight seasons paintings i created for my dad for christmas ’09.