living situation: I live with my husband of four years and our daughters – Christina (3), Rebecca (1 year, 9 months), and Allison (5 months). (These are, of course, their online secret identities, but the names are close enough.) We bought a house five years ago before we married, and wound up with one much bigger than we’d planned. Luckily, it turns out we were able to fill it pretty quickly.

occupation: In addition to being a manager, wife, and mom, I am a full-time attorney, doing primarily transactional and non-adversarial work.

how do you structure your time and space? I do this in pretty much the same way working fathers have for many years. I returned to work quickly (six to seven weeks) after my children were born, and I have a nine to five job with a commute. Though lawyers often work long hours, I leave at five and manage the work by bringing much of it home to do after my girls are in bed. 

My girls all go to the same day care near our house, in a small town. We’ve never had a single problem with the center, and the kids love it. Our oldest is getting a preschool curriculum there now. My husband works slightly earlier hours than me, and is able to pick them up and bring them home each day.

I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I need to be on the go. One of the things our marriage depends on is a certain equality – we both work to support the family, and we both parent. Though those roles are different at different times, we take them relatively equally (except that he doesn’t have to carry a breast pump wherever he goes, which is totally not fair).

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The biggest challenge is that I’m very tired all the time. When there’s too much to do, sleep is sacrificed. I’d compare it to the holiday season — it’s run run run, all the time. There is so much to do and so little time, and I’m always working on a clock and a to-do list. However, it’s also just full of fun, and happiness, and sparkles, and candy, and hugs. Every time I come home feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus and thinking about all I have to accomplish that night, I get tackled and swarmed by two toddlers who just want to love on me, and I hear baby giggles. My husband pulls dinner (which I made the night before) out of the oven, and all is right with the world. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? Our previous season began when my husband and I, after six years together, finally grew up and put things in order. I moved to be near him in 2004, we bought a house and got engaged in 2005, got married in 2006, and then were pregnant within 2 months. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m hoping more of the same, though with a bit more sleep.  I wouldn’t mind the pace slowing as the girls get more independent and need my help less. I’ll be glad to fill any extra time with sleep and things I want to do for myself, and I’m looking forward to knowing my girls as people instead of babies. I think I’ll get to see a little more of the old, pre-kid me, and I’m looking forward, ironically enough, to sharing that person with the kids.

favorite family activity/activities: I love Friday nights, when we make chicken fingers and watch movies to celebrate the start of the weekend. My husband and I drink a couple of beers, the girls rocket around the room and beg for “dark sauce” (teriyaki) for their chicken, and then everyone collapses. I can’t wait until they’re old enough to help pick a movie that we can all enjoy. (Well, I did enjoy “The Princess and the Frog”… the first ten times!) 

I also love giving the girls bubble baths. We have a huge garden tub, and have never owned a baby tub. I just bring them in with me, taking turns. We use high-end bath products, and I condition their hair and let them use sparkle lotion. My girls ALWAYS smell great! 

favorite solo activities: more bubble baths, but alone; blogging; reading sci-fi and fantasy novels; the lore and novels of the World of Warcraft, a game my husband loves; keeping up with old friends on Facebook; dreaming of hobbies I wish I had. 

sources of inspiration: I’ve been searching for a Everything Role Model for a while now – a woman with a professional career who worked while her children were babies, has a stable marriage and three or more kids, and who still looks good and manages to sleep once in a while. I can’t find her. 

So instead I get inspired by my mom, who does a million things and looks great while doing them; my father, who taught me about work ethic; my husband, who can take anything in stride, even being mobbed by toddlers; my boss, who is what we call a Zen Master; and my paralegal, who never stops smiling and has enthusiasm for everything. I just need to surround myself with positive people, and positive things will keep happening.  

best MakeShift moment: When my youngest was a month old, she had a case of the sniffles and a cough, which turned into a respiratory arrest in the emergency room. She spent six days on a respirator in the pediatric intensive care unit at the children’s hospital and four more days in a regular room being weaned off oxygen. (Her official diagnosis was non-RSV bronchiolitis — basically, a bad baby virus).  

I had two toddlers at home 40 minutes from the hospital, a very sick new baby, the responsibility of pumping to keep up the milk supply until she could nurse again, terrible cold weather, plans to work from home on maternity leave, and the holidays to contend with. This could have really sucked. 

Instead, it wasn’t so bad. After the arrest, I was just so on top of the world that Allison was alive and going to be okay that nothing else seemed to matter. So that Alison wouldn’t have to be alone, my  husband and I trucked the older girls to and from the hospital in their pajamas while we switched out shifts. The situation was rough on them, so we did whatever it took to keep them happy, including letting them wear tutus everywhere.

I spent almost every night in a chair at Allison’s bedside (including New Years’ Eve), pumping every two hours and holding her hand every time the hospital staff had to do something to her. My work assistant brought me boxes of files for review so I’d have a productive way to spend time (and earn money) while I just played the waiting game. My husband and I changed out clothes and phone chargers and toiletries and hardly saw one another for a week and a half, except in the parking lot of the hospital. 

And it was really okay. We just camped out and powered on through, and Allison came home alert, healthy, and a pound and a half heavier than when she’d gone in. (If you did nothing but sleep for a week and have food pumped into you, wouldn’t you gain weight too?) 

[check out www.highheeledmom.com for more  of lindsey’s musings on motherhood and life.]

we are back from an eventful “family camp” weekend in middle tennessee at camp NaCoMe. with the exception of an unavoidable conflict here and there (such as my brother’s wedding last october), i have gone to this church camp twice a year since i was five years old. in all of these 28 years, i have yet to adequately describe to others what exactly we do at NaCoMe and just why it is so much fun.

we dance…

…sing, eat lots of food, practice yoga, do some makeshifting…

jog, eat more food, walk in the creek…

…eat more food, play horseshoes, catch crawdads, play tennis, eat, talk to old friends on the porch…

and let grandparents, other people’s parents, and other people’s children look after our little ones.

in turn, we look after other people’s children and grandchildren too. the great outdoor challenge was not such a challenge in this beautiful, green, wide open space.

this nacome had the added element of four (FOUR!) tornado warnings/watches that sent us to our cabins to clutch our packed-and-ready emergency bags and to prepare to huddle together in a crawl space down below. in the end, the crawl space remained empty (apart from a few adventure-seeking children and their gracious parental chaperon), and we were left on the porch to watch the sky unleash its wrath on a little town five miles down the road.

this morning, it was as if the storms never happened.

as the sun brightened the rain-soaked trees, we packed up our boys, with new memories of adventure, and carted them back to memphis. there, they too will fail to describe to others what exactly we do at NaCoMe and just why it is so much fun.

first name: Sharon

age: 40 (really?!)

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with Scott, my husband of almost 16 years, and our daughters Madeleine (12) and Sophie (9). Our furry children, Millie and Henry, are portuguese water dogs.

occupation: stay at home mom and part time student

how do you structure your time and space? On weekdays, I get up around 6:45 to help get the kids out the door for school. Tuesdays and Fridays are typically days to go to the grocery and make my all-time-favorite Target run. To some, my days may sound rather mundane, but I am never bored. There is never enough time in the days and weeks! I have recently come to understand myself as the CEO of my home. This realization gives me great pleasure, and in a strange way, I feel rather powerful. My kids adore their father, and he is hands-on and helpful, but they usually come to me with their needs and concerns. Maybe Madeleine and Sophie rely on me for everything because I am their fellow female. But Scott relies on me too! I find myself saying things such as, “No, I do not know where you put your wallet!!!”

I try extremely hard each week to make sure I am taking care of me in some way while my children are at school and Scott is at work. Once they get home, it’s all about them. I allow myself an hour each morning to have my coffee and watch the Today show. I am enrolled part time at University of Memphis, where I am working on my Bachelor’s degree in Child Development. Going to school has given me the opportunity to use my brain for something other than managing my household, and it has also helped shine a light on my path which has often seemed blurry. I go to a dream-interpretation group once a week with some very wise and interesting ladies. I also attend a study group at my church every Thursday that I can. I also try every week to connect with a friend by having coffee or lunch. I have learned that my friends feed my soul, and in order to stay connected with them, I have to reach out. It’s just that simple. 

Sometimes there are just days I do not have it in me to be a mom. I do not beat myself up about it. My kids are old enough now that they understand when I tell them I just cannot be present at this particular time. I lean on Scott and he comes through for me during these times. I just tell them the truth; I don’t dance around it. I think my kids appreciate that about me. I think I am teaching them how to speak up and say out loud what they are feeling. I hope I am teaching them the value of verbally expressing their needs. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have felt for quite some time now that I am in between the seasons of winter and spring. I can see the buds of new growth. I can smell the new air. I can hear the birds making their way back, but I am just not quite there. It’s a wonderful place to be but it’s also frustrating. I feel this overwhelming sense of something I just cannot give a word to.  I know that there is a new path for me that goes beyond motherhood. I can feel it. But, I still don’t know what it is, and that is very frustrating. I am so envious of women who know exactly what their gifts are and how to share them with the world. I know being in school is the right path, but sometimes I wonder what in the world I am doing! I am trying to discern what my spiritual gifts are and allow my spirit to guide me. 

My daughters are growing up both physically and emotionally. Madeleine is twelve and her hormones are surging. She is having a tough year at school and that just breaks my heart. I am finding that watching my girls grow up so very quickly is taking quite a toll on me emotionally.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before this season, I was in a dark and gloomy winter. I struggled with depression in my twenties and thirties, but the past few years have brought a different struggle that has been just as painful as depression. My health took a strange and frightening turn. My kids were going through all sorts of new phases that were no fun at all. My marriage was going through growing pains. Part of my family moved back to Memphis which brought about all sorts of new and unexpected challenges. But, I’ve come to realize that it is during these hard times when I learn something new about myself. I make it to the other side and feel a sense of accomplishment, and I also feel just a bit wiser.

favorite family activity/activities: We love our girls. We love taking them on trips. We love taking them to Broadway shows at the Orpheum. We love listening to all their stories. They are our inspiration. We look at them sometimes and cannot believe our love made these two fabulous beings. 

favorite solo activities: I love to read, see movies, and travel, but my favorite pass time is enjoying time with friends and family. Scott and I both love to cook and eat, so any time we are with friends and family, it involves yummy food. We also really enjoy wine and love coming across a fantastic $12 bottle! Scott and I live a quiet life. We spend most of our time with each other. We love to go on dates. We try to have date night every week.

sources of inspiration: Besides my daughters, I am inspired by women who know who they are and what they want. I am inspired by my mother-in-law who is the wisest person I have ever known. I am inspired by my mother who never ever complains. I am inspired by my very eclectic group of girl friends. I am inspired by nature in particular trees and birds. I am inspired by people who always see the glass half full.

best MakeShift moment: I am sure this is not all that creative but it is a memory I have that always makes me smile.

When Madeleine was a toddler I could not provide enough entertainment for her. She was always ready to play! This was exhausting! There was a day that I just needed her to be occupied with something other than me. I gave her all my makeup, and for one whole hour she sat in the middle of our porch in the backyard and covered her little body from head to toe with lipstick, eyeliner, shadow, blush, and powder. It took forever to wash it all off, and I feel certain there are still make up stains on that porch to this day.

We do not need to personally entertain our children all of the time!  Just give them a box of makeup and let their imagination take over!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

these days, motherhood and technology are so intertwined that those who came before us cannot help but marvel at the advances that now equip us for the hardest job we’ll ever love. if you don’t believe me, try counting the number of times this phrase is uttered at the next baby shower you attend:

“i wish those [fill in the blank with the latest baby care contraptions] were around when i was a young mom. we used to have to [fill in the blank with the most laborious and excruciating description of tedium you can imagine] when our children were little.” 

surely you’ve memorized this conversation by now.

but when these comments filled the air at my baby showers, they were especially true. not only would my husband and i benefit from the technology behind the bouncy seat, baby monitors, and breast pump. i got pregnant by the most cutting-edge and constantly upgraded fertility technology offered by modern science: in vetro fertilization. to say that i am thankful for technology would be an understatement.

but this gratitude was tempered during my second pregnancy, wherein i was introduced to the underbelly (pun intended) of technology. my triple screen test showed an increased risk that the bird would have downs syndrome. i saw a specialist, who played around with numbers on a notepad and used gambling metaphors to explain to me the odds that the bird would have downs. my husband and i struggled with whether or not to have an amniocentesis, which would put the baby at slight risk but give us the information we thought we needed in order to gracefully welcome our little one. with uncertainty, we consented to the procedure. twice. and both times, the amnios failed. this was not among the carefully analyzed scenarios for which we were prepared. neither was the ultrasound tech’s false diagnosis of amnio-induced uterine damage, a condition which would likely end the pregnancy. i spent two miserable days in bed, under the covers of guilt and fear, waiting for various doctors and specialists to confer with one another — to interpret the data offered by technology.

it wasn’t until my baby bird was born that we learned that he does not have downs. but while i was pregnant with him (thanks to technological failings, some difficult internal work, and a miracle from god)  i eventually arrived at a place where i did not care whether he had downs or not. the point is that the same bright force that positioned him carefully inside my uterus snatched me suddenly into the shadows of truths not yet revealed.

technology has taken me to the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. yet, it has become like the air i breathe: silent, necessary, and (barring miracle or catastrophy) unnoticed. but living harmoniously with such a powerful force takes a certain daily awareness of its role in my life. it is to this end that i write. i hope to notice and appreciate with reverence the powers that be.

[speaking of technology and the air we breathe, check out i love technology  by heather at theta mom. this account of technology’s role in a family affected by asthma inspired me to write the post above.]

the monkey and i made these creatures as part of the great outdoor challenge. here’s a mouse:

here’s a dragonfly:

and last, but not least, this is apparently a rare species of bird called the “pick” bird (pronounced “pick boowd”).

first name: Beth

age: 35

current state: North Georgia

living situation: I live with my husband and our two daughters, who have recently turned seven and four. We live in a 1960’s brick house on a street with big trees and old neighbors. Our other family members are a miniature dachshund and a terrier.

occupation: public school reading teacher

how do you structure your time and space? I taught elementary school full-time until our first child was born. At that point, I began a job-sharing arrangement with another teacher. I teach four hours each morning, working with students who are performing below grade-level in reading. I feel a strong calling to my vocation as a teacher, and I enjoy maintaining a professional identity in a job that I love while also being present for so many of my girls’ day-to-day activities and experiences. It’s an unusual situation for a public school teacher, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to structure my job in this way. Practically speaking, my type-A, list-making self loves knowing that, five mornings a week, I can go to my classroom, prepare for my teaching day in relative quiet, and spend the next few hours immersed in quantifiable tasks that do not involve quibbling over who got more Goldfish crackers or why we can’t watch another episode of Curious George. 

My older daughter is in first grade now, and my younger daughter attends preschool at our church for the hours that I’m at school each morning.  Before they were in school and preschool full-time, the girls were cared for by several wonderful sitters in home daycare settings. My husband’s schedule as a museum director is more flexible than my own, so he does the morning school drop-offs and is the usual parent to stay at home when the girls are sick. Our afternoons are fairly unstructured. The girls participate in church choir and gymnastics, but we otherwise spend a lot of time after school riding bikes on the driveway, playing with friends, and enjoying downtime. Errands, cleaning, the grocery store, et cetera are done mostly on weekends, or in snatches of available time during the week. We have always put our kids to bed early at night, and I relish the several hours of “me” time this affords me on most evenings.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I suppose this is spring for me, in both the literal and metaphorical sense. I feel like I have finally emerged from the often exhausting and isolating winter of having infants and very young preschoolers, and it feels good to be in the warmth and sunshine with children who are a tiny bit less dependent on me for their every need. We are at a stage as a family when it’s possible to do more activities together. No one requires naps or diaper changes these days, and the increased maturity and longer attention spans of our children are allowing us to enjoy lots of fun pastimes and events that were not possible even a year ago. 

Professionally, I have more energy for teaching than I did during my girls’ baby and toddlerhoods. I feel increasingly confident in myself as a teacher, and I love having an opportunity to positively affect the lives of my students by helping them become better readers. In working part-time, I definitely do struggle with the demands and balancing act of teaching and home life. There are days when I feel as if I’m not doing either of my jobs as well as I’d like, but I guess that can be said for most careers!

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season of having two very small children was a difficult one for me. While I loved so many aspects of being present for my girls in their early years, I also experienced the stress of feeling like someone needed something from me nearly every minute of the day (and night!). 

Going from one child to two was a challenge for me as I learned to balance the needs of two kids with my teaching job, and also struggled to find a few moments in the day for myself. I experienced a period of mild postpartum depression following the birth of my second child. She was a fussy, high-needs baby, and so very different from my “easy” first child. It was emotionally painful for me to have a baby whom I often could not comfort. Thankfully, she mellowed considerably as she grew (and medication for reflux also helped), but there were some dark moments for both my husband and myself during the first few months of parenting two children. 

Seasonally speaking, I feel like we were in a period of late fall.  The vibrant, colorful leaves of expectation were off the trees, and the reality of cold winter months set in for us.

-What season(s) might your future hold? In many ways, I feel like the next season is one of uncertainty, though not in a negative sense. I know that I will return to teaching full-time, but I don’t yet know when that will be. My hope has always been to be at home part-time until my children are in school. Suddenly, that time is sooner than later, as my younger daughter will begin kindergarten a year from this fall. The state education budget continues to shrink by the minute, and this is stressful in terms of teacher employment security. Coupled with these factors is the question of whether or not we will have a third child, and how that dynamic (logistically and financially) would affect my teaching plans and our lives as a whole. Despite the uncertainties, I am hopeful and excited about the season to come. We are settled in a town, jobs, schools, and a church that we love, and it feels good to think that we could be in this setting for many years.

favorite family activity/activities: spending time together outdoors (playing in the yard, hiking at local parks, bike rides), involvement in our church, reading together, enjoying the arts and musical opportunities that our town offers

favorite solo activities: photography, reading, blogging and blog-reading, time and connection with friends and family members

sources of inspiration: Professionally, I have a lot of gifted teaching mentors and role models. I’m also inspired by the students I work with at an after-school program for at-risk children. Most of them are first generation Americans and are struggling against a variety of factors to obtain the educations that they hope will give them opportunities in this country and in life. Personally, I’m inspired by other mothers who are honest and brave enough to admit that parenting, while unbelievably wonderful, is also full of moments in which you wonder why you ever got yourself into this madness in the first place!

best MakeShift moment: During the first few months of my younger daughter’s life, she needed to be held/nursed/worn in a sling constantly in order to be somewhat content. By evening on most days, I was at the end of my rope just as she reached her fussiest time of the day. One night, in an act of desperation, I placed the baby, tummy-down, on a towel on the dryer as it was running. Magically, she stopped wailing and settled. From that night on, my husband and I took shifts each evening sitting in the laundry room with our “drying” baby. He read several books, and I mostly sat and enjoyed the hum of the dryer and the absence of crying. After a few nights, we realized it would be safer (though we never left her unsupervised) to place the baby in the laundry basket. There, she cozily enjoyed her hours on the gentle cycle while we cherished a few precious moments of peace and quiet.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

though there have been days when i thought that the playground at the pediatrician’s office was going to have to count as our outside time, we have somehow managed to play outside every day since we signed up for the great outdoor challenge.

today’s adventure was a neighborhood “nature hike,” which, like many of my favorite activities, involved trespassing. look what we found in our neighbors’ yards!

remember this picture?

yes, this is my office. she looks like this all the time, not just when she wakes up in the morning. i guess i could soften this image with explanations about how my little bird builds nests around himself on the floor of this space with the contents of my purse, or how this room is right by the back door and has become a popular place to shed clothes, packages, et cetera upon entering the house. but it’s too late. you have already seen my kitchen.

you know how i roll.

for the next sixty days, i am putting myself through the re[frame] program, a “productivity system that is built specifically for creative people.”  two of my friends have employed this system and are now downright evangelical about it, so i went to the website last thursday and paid the sign-up fee of $42. later that day, i purchased the required school supplies (note cards, labels, and among other things, a shredder!). now the creators of re[frame], heather jassy and jodi carter, send me daily emails that tell me to sort the stuff on my desk into piles labeled “DO, FILE, IDEAS, and DELEGATE,” for example.

so far, i’m having fun, and i no longer have the urge to don a hazmat suit upon entering my office. i’m also starting to see things differently. i enter my closet and think about how exciting it would be to receive an email telling me to box up all the maternity clothes. last night, as i was getting a fork from our toothpick-infested silverware drawer (the monkey is to thank for that one), i fantasized about a directive in my in-box reading, “and now it’s time to liberate your forks, knives, and spoons from toothpick explosion debris.”

in case heather and jodi don’t cover these types of things in re[frame], i went ahead and cleaned the drawer. already, i feel better.

look out, world. there is no telling what’s going to happen with all of this creativity once it isn’t crumpled under a pile of maternity clothes, toothpicks, and un-filed papers. maybe i’ll find the cure for the common cold! at this point, i’d settle for being able to find my keys.

first name: Cyndi

age: 40

i’m new to this blogging thing, and most days i feel like i’m still in that sparkly-eyed freshman daze. it’s kind of like navigating a new campus without key knowledge, such as how to make the best use of short-cuts and how to make “rice krispy treats” in the refectory out of the breakfast cereals, the grain station butter, and the sundae station  marshmallows. this is important stuff, my friends!

my new friend kate of my mommy monolgues, also a blogging newbie, is one of those girls on the hall who (metaphorically speaking of course) has declared a major, landed a boyfriend, and organized a spring break trip all within minutes of moving in. a good friend to have, eh?

kate recently gave me this “award” on her blog:

i am to list ten things that make me happy and pass the award along to a few friends. so, here goes! (note, i’m truly going to list things, not people, since this isn’t an academy awards speech.)

1. the britches and bloomers sewing pattern, which has allowed me to go crazy making “crazy pants” for my boys.
2. books i’ve read lately: the help, the elegance of the hedgehog, and until i find you.
3. la croix water. i’m addicted.
4. this envelope template kit from the paper source, that allows me to make funky envelopes out of recycled paper.
5. screw kappa napa chardonnay
6. spending the month of july in montreat, nc
7. bluegrass music
8. marimekko fabric, clothes, and household items.
9. the home practice yoga sequences in yoga journal — a tremendous help when i can’t get to the studio but still want someone else to direct my practice.
10. chuck taylors

and now, i hereby award/tag four friends:

1. http://nursegolfdiva.blogspot.com/ honest (and funny!) accounts of parenting and nursing (RN) from my beloved college room mate and friend.
2. http://katy-uncooked.blogspot.com/ a raw and inspiring narrative about how my divinity school friend, katy, took charge of her life and her health.
3. http://stuffparentsneed.blogspot.com/ giveaways, recipes, and musings from a favorite fellow mom and former co-worker.
4. http://reverendartistmother.blogspot.com/ inspiration from suzanne, an artist, minister, mom, and soul friend.

gotta go. we’re streaking the quad!

happy 101 rules:

1. copy and paste the award on your blog.
2. list who gave the award to you and use a link to her/his blog (or hyperlink).
3. list 10 things that make you happy.
4. pass the award on to other bloggers and visit their blog to let them know about the award.