as seen in shape and redbook magazines…

first name: Jenny Newcomer

age: 34

occupation: Founder of LobotoME.com {goods to keep ME sane}

how do you structure your time and space? Both my husband and I work from home. My daughter is in kindergarten and my son, who is 18 months, is home with us. We both feel it is important to be around as much as possible for our kids (breakfast together in the mornings, time together after school, et cetera). I generally work out and get a jump start on my to do list early in the morning (5:00) before the kids are awake and bust out as much work as possible while my son naps during the day. My computer is turned off when my daughter gets home from school. Occasionally, I will work late into the night after the kids are in bed. I aim to have my days filled with 25 percent work and 75 percent mommy time.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I love the spring (so glad winter is over and the snow has melted). I love getting back out more, not hibernating as much, working out more (running more outside), starting seeds for the garden, et cetera.  Spring is a time of fresh starts and new beginnings.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Winter. I love the holidays but it is the busiest time of year for my business. Holiday sales and sales driven by New Year’s resolutions to get organized make winter a manic time of year.

-What season(s) might your future hold? Summer fun is in our future! Summers are my husband’s busiest time with his event production company, so I generally try to give him the time and space to focus on work. The kids and I spend the summer in our pond or at the pool and digging in our garden.

favorite family activity/activities: hiking, rafting, camping, gardening and traveling.

favorite solo activities: running, yoga, reading

sources of inspiration: There are too many to name. I am inspired by my parents in particular, but I am drawn to creative moms who are following their passions while at the same time making sure they are having fun with their kids. I am inspired by families who are adventurous in their travels and live simply at home. I’m also drawn to people who are trying (despite the uphill battles) to get people to be healthy and fit. I am in love with Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution. I find tons of inspiration on blogs (my current favorites are listed on my blog at http://www.LobotoMEblog.blogspot.com)

best MakeShift moment: Goodness, I think every day as a mom is a makeshift moment,  isn’t it? I can tell you that on particularly busy shipping weeks in the warehouse, I will build rocket ships and other shapes out of  recycled cardboard boxes for the kids to play in while I work. Markers + cardboard = endless entertainment.

find Jenny on the web:

• shop:  http://www.LobotoME.com  : eco-friendly organizational products
•  read:  http://www.LobotoMEblog.blogspot.com
• tweet:  http://www.twitter.com/LobotoME

Comment Contest – Winner

Prize won: custom-made superkid cape

Comment:LauraC says: G is for Groover (that’s our last name but there are two little boys who would share this!) because they are great brothers!

List of all participants: AM, Amanda A, Amber Proctor, Anara, Annie, Annie, Annie, Carl, Christie, Cindy, Cricket Saunders, Cricket Saunders, Cricket Saunders, Cricket Saunders, Cyndi S, DEBIJOT, DEBIJOT, DEBIJOT, Deborah, Deborah, Desiree, Desiree, Desiree, Emily, Emily, Emily, Erin D, G, G, G, Heather, Jaime, Jaime, Jodi F, Judy B, Justine McD., Justine McD., Kathi Crosby, Kathi Crosby, Kathi Crosby, Kathi Crosby, Katie, Kim, Kim, Kimberly, Kristie, LauraC, Leigh, Libby, Libby, Libby, Lily Kwan, Lily Kwan, Lindsey, Lizzie, Lizzie, mary, Mary Preston, melanie, Melissa M., Meredith, michelle frame, michelle frame, michelle frame, Miss Spoken, Miss Spoken, Mommy2Bears, Mommy2Bears, Monique Rizzo, nan lara, Paula Michele, Paula Michele, Paula Michele, Samantha, Samantha, Samantha, Samantha, sarah, shannon Baas, Sharon, Sharon, Shelby, Shelby, Shelby, Shelley C, shenais, shenais, SoDucky, SoDucky, SoDucky, SoDucky, Teisa Linscott, very married, Wehaf

i’m pretty proud of myself. i used a widget called “comment contest” to select the winner. slowly but surely, i am learning. congrats, laurac. i’ll be contacting you shortly to get your address.

if you didn’t win this givaway, never fear. you can purchase a cape from jessa’s etsy store, happily home sewn, for just $14. she’ll even custom make it for you with your super kid’s initial and ship it to you for free.

you can also enter another giveaway for jessa’s wares on her blog, happily home sewn. she’ll announce the winner of this market bag/purse on mother’s day morning.

remember when i showed you this?

and this?

and do you remember when i blathered on about getting organized? my husband was excited when i revealed my plans to try out the reframe productivity system for creative people. however, many of you expressed your disappointment at my efforts to get my life in order. it seems that you LIKE seeing my disheveled mess of a life memorialized in photos and posted on the internet. furthermore, some of you have even confessed that these photos help you to feel better about yourselves. to this i say: a) you’re welcome, and b) don’t worry. there will always be plenty of chaos to go around.

today is day 16 of the program, and i am actually having fun with the process. my new file trays (labeled “do,” “file,” “delegate,” and “ideas”) assure that no stray papers ever hit my desk. my filing system is up to date for the first time since we moved into our current home (one year and eight months ago), and i now organize everything i need to do in this cute little vintage note card box:

now, instead of doing tasks according to when they pop into my head, i jot these little jobs down on cards and file them under the day on which i aim to do them. see?

yesterday, i began tackling my email inbox. if you are reading this, and you are wondering why i have not responded to the email you sent me in 75 B.C.E., it’s because re[frame] had not yet been invented back then. duh!

so now my office looks like this. it’s not perfect, and it never will be, but it’s definitely better:

and for those of you with appetites for other people’s slovenliness that cannot be satiated with the tangle of cords above, i submit to you my vanity:

this is where i like to store the occasional wine goblet and the toiletry bag i forgot to unpack after a trip to atlanta last october.

see, i told you that there will always be plenty of chaos to go around.

i entertain no grandiose notions that my life would make an interesting movie. there are no juicy secrets or high-adventure feats of strength. we have our share of beauty and tragedy, but these things drive good dinner-table conversation, not ticket sales and screen lit wonder.

but still — i fantasize about being the subject of a movie’s intro. you know, that part before anything actually HAPPENS, where the scene is being set, and characters are making their definitive first impressions. there is music playing and the viewers see the star of the story for who she is in her daily routine, when she thinks nobody is watching.

today, for example, i would be played by mary louise parker.

and the music in the background is the theme song from “elmo’s world,” in all of its overly saccharine, raspy, grating, monster cuteness.

the main character, with tousled bed-hair and clothes appropriate for the 6 a.m. video torture yoga session she shared with her husband, trips on a big wheel (yes, inside the house) on the way to make breakfast for her two children.

“elmo can use the potty!” the exuberant tv voice exclaims.

“do you need to tee tee?” our heroine is reminded to ask her oldest son.

the babysitter arrives just as the husband leaves for work (when did he have time to shower?). elmo spreads more cheer as mary louise, clad now in the tangled arms of protesting children who are anticipating their mother’s brief sojourn, makes her way to the bedroom to dress for the day.

while brushing her teeth, she extrapolates the younger child’s hands from the toilet water (clean this time, thank goodness), before leaning over the older son’s blockade in order to spit into the sink. she grabs a pair of jeans off the floor and the first shirt she sees and puts them on just before tying her hair into a messy bun. no time for a shower today.

the older son brightens at the prospect of making cookies with the babysitter and specifies that they must be oatmeal cookies. a collective trip through the den and into the kitchen is accompanied by more melodious elmo musings as he is apparently wrapped in deep conversation with his fish, dorothy.

mary louise diligently lines up her son’s apron and the necessary cookie ingredients on the kitchen counter. this is a 15 minute process, which in her estimation, is costing her two dollars and fifty cents at her baby sitter’s ten-dollars-an-hour rate. she finally wriggles free of both children long enough to run to the car and head to a coffee shop, where she will plan the evening’s bible study that is part of her work as a minister.

in the last scene of the intro, mary louise sinks into a comfortable coffee shop couch and savors the first sip of caffeine. a fast alt-punk song is playing in the background. the waitress stops by to ask what our heroine wants for breakfast. mary louise orders an oatmeal, and as she’s handing the menu back to the server, the fast-talking girl asks, “are you pregnant?”

“thank you, but no,” mary louise quips. “i shouldn’t have tried to pass off this swimsuit cover up as a shirt,” she thinks to herself.

let the day (or the movie) begin…

[today is the last day to enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life. check out this post for details.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Jenni

age: 29

occupation: Market Manager

how do you structure your time and space? My working hours are typically 8:00 to 5:30, and have to close two days a week, which puts me home around 7:00 p.m. Of the days when I close, my mom gets Noah one evening, and I have a pair of wonderful babysitters who get him the other night. I also work two Saturdays a month from 8:00 to 5:00 and have one of my fabulous sitters on that day.  

Our house is messy (but not dirty) and has all the regular clutter of a three-year-old. A tricycle, a train set and Legos all are on the living room floor as I type this. On a typical night, Noah goes to bed at 7:30 (he doesn’t necessarily go to sleep but he is in bed with books and bunnies by that time), and I have a few hours to myself. I am going back to school to get my MBA online, so I do homework and watch TV until my bedtime. 

Until 7:30, I try to be as “in the moment” as possible, since I don’t have as much time with Noah as I would like. With the days getting longer and the weather getting nicer, we usually eat dinner on the front porch to take advantage of the sunshine and avoid the TV. Noah is allergic to practically everything (peanuts, milk, eggs, soy and wheat) so we currently subsist almost entirely on a diet of chicken nuggets and peaches. This makes dinner time easy. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? We are currently in summer at my house. We are finally getting more time to spend together, enjoying longer days to play outside, and relaxing with fewer schedules to keep. Noah loves to be outside (he might live out there if no bugs were around!) so he is having so much fun right now. There is a park just down the street from our house, and we try to go there at least once or twice a week. Since I started back to school, I am feeling the pinch of not having enough time to do everything. The rule at our house is that if something isn’t going to hurt us or someone else, we don’t fight about it. Life is too short so we pick our battles. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? We were in winter before moving back to Memphis in November. I worked about 70 hours a week at my old job, and Noah was in daycare at least 60 hours a week. It has always just been the two of us, but I had a great network of babysitters and friends there to call on. Even so, I was always tired and depressed from working at a job I no longer enjoyed and one that took me away from my son so much. I began looking for a new job that would facilitate my relocation to Memphis to be close to my family. Obviously, the job market is rather bleak right now, but I was connected with my current company through a wonderful woman at my home church.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I think we are headed into fall. New and exciting things are happening for both of us. With my going back to school and Noah’s learning so much every day (including potty training, which I thought would never happen), it feels like the beginning of a new semester. I am working to figure out how to make time for everything (including myself), and I feel like I am trying to find my way around campus all over again.

favorite family activity/activities: playing on the playground, taking nature walks, finding pretty flowers to smell, and watching movies (currently the Toy Story series is our favorite). We also love going to the zoo and to ballgames.

favorite solo activities: drinking wine, watching TV, reading, napping, hanging out with friends, especially at restaurants I can’t go to with a child. (I know that’s not solo but it is a non-Mommy activity.)

sources of inspiration: My mom is definitely a big inspiration to me. She was a single mom when I was younger until we met her wonderful husband, and she understands what I am going through. Sometimes we drive each other crazy but that unconditional love is still there. Likewise, I want Noah to know that he can always come to me so we can work through things together, even when he knows I will be upset.

best MakeShift moment: Our life is one big makeshift moment. I tried to think of one that I was not too embarrassed to admit (unlike the fact that my three-year-old still sleeps in a crib because he doesn’t know he could climb out, and I like having him contained to prevent arguments that involve words like, “no you can’t play in your playroom right now…go back to bed”). Or the fact that my mom taught him to “Cheers,” and he knows you only do that with a wine glass and likes to do it a billion times if we go out to dinner and someone has wine.

I came up with the day I taught him which button to push on his DVD player so he can change the DVD as many times as he wants when we travel, and I don’t have to pull over. He knows how to skip commercials (previews) and push the “circle button” to start it when the menu comes on. It made our many six-plus-hour trips from Chattanooga to Memphis more bearable.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

once there was a bird

who coughed like a barking seal

here we are again.

first name: Jessica

age: 36

occupation: 

• Teacher on a looong sabbatical
• Full-time mom and housekeeper
• Part-time student, studying for my English as a Second Language (ESL) endorsement
• Part-time employee of The New Teacher Project  (TNTP) as Lead Selector with Memphis Teaching Fellows, selecting candidates for an alternate certification program and placement in the Memphis City Schools

how do you structure your time and space? Because my work is part-time and mostly on Saturdays, and my kids are now both in school every day, I have a lot of my weekdays free to take care of “my stuff.” I spend part of every day exercising (running, stretching/yoga, boot camp, walking), keeping house (laundry, laundry, laundry), reading/studying/writing papers, and running errands/preparing menus and meals. My “office” is my kitchen counter. I have struggled a bit with using my time wisely so that I am not overwhelmed when a deadline is looming, but I am starting to get the hang of it. My goal is that I do not have to do any of my schoolwork and very little housework once the kids and husband get home so our evenings and weekends are free for family activities. About half of the time I meet that goal.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlight of my current season is having so much time to myself. The challenge is using this time wisely and staying mindful of how important this time is. I don’t know when or if I will ever have this kind of time again to read, garden, study, and have lunch with friends. I am trying to get as much enjoyment as possible out of this season. I sort of look at this as my retirement time. Soon, I will go back to work full-time. Some days it is hard to face a full day at home alone, but I am learning to be thankful every day for time to just sit in quiet if I want to.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season preceding this one was definitely not quiet. It was one of noise and song and laughter and tears. I spent about five years with my babies/children at home full-time and several more with part-time preschool. It was hard sometimes, but now that it is over, I realize how short that time was. Before having Lillian, I was a full-time teacher in a middle school in North Memphis. I loved it, and it was a more difficult decision to stop teaching than I had ever thought it would be.

-What season(s) might your future hold? My future definitely holds another season of teaching, either part-time or full-time. I am working on my ESL endorsement because it is something that has always interested me and there are more opportunities in this field for part-time work than with regular classroom teaching. I am torn, though. I love teaching middle school Language Arts (I know, I’m crazy). But, I have another year of courses and I’m looking at increased part-time work with TNTP in the coming year. So, no matter what happens, the next season will be busier, with less time for myself. 

favorite family activity/activities: walking the kids to school together, walking in our neighborhood and through the old forest of Overton Park, being at the beach, riding bikes, listening to music at the Levitt Shell, camping, traveling, playing games, reading together, and enjoying homemade pizza and movie nights

favorite solo activities: running, reading, drawing, cooking, baking bread and other goodies, gardening

sources of inspiration: my husband and kids, my parents and sister, my dear friends, my Dream Group, music, and nature

best MakeShift moment: As several other “mothers of invention” have noted, bath time is full of great makeshift moments. My kids’ tub time has often given me the opportunity to talk to them the whole time while clean the rest of the bathroom. Bath Time was always alphabet time when the kids were younger. We had foam bath letters, and we made a game of identifying the letters and/or making words with them. Or, I would read the newspaper to them (and me!) while they were bathing. Now that my kids are getting older and my daughter takes showers by herself, I don’t get as much of that time. But, I do still put little Charlie to work while he is in the bathtub. I give him a little baking soda, he makes a paste, and cleans the tiles within his reach while I clean the rest of the bathroom. He has a ball, and I get a clean bathroom. Win-win makeshift moment.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

i grew up among packs of children on a quiet little street in the heart of town. the lives of my brother and me were filled with driveway basketball games, tree-climbing, lightning-bug-catching, lemonade stands, and the like. but there were several families in particular who really shaped the days of my youth and the lives of my mom and dad as young parents: the L family, the C family, and the B family surrounded us on three sides.

the L, C, and B children were pretty close in age to my brother and me, and while we were busy getting along famously, our parents were constantly helping each other out. our moms took turns picking us up from school and keeping each other’s children during impromptu errands made easier without kids in tow. there were no scheduled play dates or activities. our parents simply let us loose to waltz through each other’s back doors and live out our days covered in sweat, mosquito bites, and melted popsicle juice.

ours are the only kids who play outside in our current neighborhood, apart from our next-door-neighbor’s granddaughter, who visits occasionally and much to our delight. those who live close to our family are simply in different stages of life than we are but their roles in our existance are still essential. at some point while i was discussing the particularities of perennials, bulbs, and shrubs with our friends next door, i knew i could call on them to gather our mail when we’re out of town and even watch the bird in a pinch while i fetch the monkey from school. in turn, i water their bushes and cover them in baked goods.

there is a certain peace of mind that comes with knowing that there are families around who are ready and willing to lend me an egg, eat my leftovers, venture outside for impromptu conversation, and be available in case of emergency. parenting is just easier when you have good neighbors. i’m full of gratitutude for mine!

[the pictures above are from my childhood and serve as payback for all those times my neighbors beat me in basketball, kicked over my bike, and cheated in flashlight tag.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Johanna

age: 36

living situation: I live with my husband and my two year old son.

occupation: Professor

how do you structure your time and space? I work full time during the academic year at a small teaching college and am expected to spend about 40 hours a week on campus. My child attends a nearby daycare.

During the academic year, I teach either one or two nights a week. On those days, I go into work a little later and have some time with my son at home in the morning. Those days are also “Boys’ Nights In,” and my husband comes home from work early, picks our son up from daycare, and takes care of him while I am teaching.

I have about seven weeks off during the summer, four weeks at Christmas, as well as some shorter breaks during the academic year. I spend as much of this time as I can with my son. I also work at home some during these breaks, usually during nap time or after my son’s bedtime.

I often do laundry and other homemaking tasks early in the morning before my son gets up. We also have someone help with cleaning every other week. I like to cook and want my family to have healthy, homemade meals, but that time after work and before bedtime is precious and goes by so quickly. I am unwilling to spend much of it preparing a meal. So, I have settled into a routine of cooking mainly on the weekends so that we can either eat leftovers or out of the crock pot on weeknights.

My husband and I typically have our “date nights” at home on Friday nights, after our son goes to bed. When we go out for dinner or coffee, we almost always take our son with us. We spend so much time away from him during the week, we both want to spend as much of our evening and weekend time with him as we can. We also have a Young Parents’ (no kids) Supper Club through our church that meets every month or two that we love participating in.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Throughout all my years of graduate school and post-doctoral training, I wondered (and worried) how I would manage an academic career and motherhood. Though I have always felt called to my work, I found it very difficult to put my baby in someone else’s care while I worked. Some days, I still do. However, my financial contribution to our family is essential, and I am grateful to have a job that I really like and that makes a difference in this world.  I have also learned that I am not the only one who can love and care for my child. I have been humbled by and am thankful for the wonderful care he receives from his daycare teachers while I am at work. I also think my husband takes a more active role in caring for our son than he would if I didn’t work full-time. Seeing their relationship if a gift that I never expected.

Oftentimes, I wish for more time with my son and more flexibility with my work. However, I am also aware of how fortunate I am to work on an academic calendar. Also, a teaching institution is a good place for me to be right now. The pressure to achieve here is lower than in other places I’ve been, and unlike many other academics I know, I am mostly able to keep my working hours to 40 per week.

I am very selective in the responsibilities I take on. I don’t say “yes” to every opportunity that comes my way. It’s hard, though, to say “no” and deal with others’ expectations of me. I hope that I am doing enough to pull my weight in my department, to be competitive whenever I apply for new jobs, and to make valuable contributions to my church and community.  

I don’t have much time for hobbies and personal interests. I have a closet full of unfinished sewing projects and a long list of books I want to read… someday!

-What season(s) preceded this one? I completed a postdoc at a large, top-tier research university. While I loved the work I did, I didn’t love the pressure and long hours that went along with it.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I don’t know. I’d like to have more time with my son and more flexibility in my schedule. I’d also like to stay in academics. Maybe I’ll keep teaching. Maybe I’ll find a way to go back to research.

favorite family activity/activities: Snuggling on the couch with blankies and reading books together. Taking walks around our neighborhood, while our son rides in his wagon. Using our new webcam to talk to grandparents and cousins. 

favorite solo activities: reading, walking

sources of inspiration: my husband, my son, good books

best MakeShift moment: My husband was running late to pick up our son, and I had a class to teach. So, I took my son to class with me. To the delight of both my son and my graduate students, I lectured with a baby on my hip! This was very unorthodox at my university! 

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

i remember reading in a counseling textbook at some point during my divinity school education that women are particularly drawn toward mentors — other women who are modeling the kind of lives we want to lead. the theory is that in order to make up for a part of ourselves that is not yet fully realized, we integrate others into our identities by our associations with them. we perceive these others to have gifts in the areas where we have deficits. mentors are like the lily pads or resting places that can usher us into the kind of self-improvement that we seek.

i was struck by yesterday’s “mother of invention,” lindsey, who remarked that she’s been looking for “an everything mentor” for some time now. lindsey’s everything mentor would essentially be someone whose life is eerily similar to lindsey’s life, only the mentor would have all of the secrets to the holy grails of balance and wholeness. since, as lindsey laments, this “everything mentor” doesn’t seem to exist, she has resorted to filling her life with a variety of positive people and following her own instincts when it comes to shaping a life for herself.

i too searched my external world for models of balanced motherhood that were custom-made for the parameters of my life. in the absence of this model, i decided to start this blog by way of constructing my own. secretly i hoped that interviewing women of various backgrounds and circumstances would lead me to my “everything mentor,” and help others to find theirs too. but what i’ve learned is what lindsey has also learned: at some point, we just have to trust our own instincts and shape the best lives for ourselves that we can. though there are little gems in each “mothers of invention” feature that can help enhance a mother’s quality of life, it seems that the real inspiration comes when we read about someone who is living comfortably in their own authenticity, and we are inspired to find this self-acceptance and a new level of being real. i love connecting with all of the “mothers of invention” because i am doing what lindsey is doing — surrounding myself with positive people as i walk my particular path.

but enough of this waxing philosophic. let’s have a giveaway! my dear friend, jessa, over at happily home sewn has agreed to make a precious superkid cape for the lucky winner of this contest.

as you can see, the capes jessa sells in her etsy store are custom-made with the initial of the superkid in question and with fabric that fits the personality of said superkid. i love the idea of kids powering through life as they imagine their own heroic potential instead of that of spiderman or superwoman. below are instructions for entering the contest but if you don’t win, don’t fret! jessa has offered to waive the cost of shipping for MakeShift revolution readers who purchase capes from her site. you can take advantage of this discount by using this link to her store.

[update: winner posted here.]

 for one chance to win a custom-made superkid cape:

•  post a comment below, and include the initial of a super kid in your life and what makes him/her super. for example, my super kid, M, has the climbing powers of a monkey!

for additional chances to win a custom-made superkid cape:

• link to this giveaway from your blog (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)
• subscribe to my blog via rss or email (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)
• follow themsrevolution on twitter (leave your twitterID in a comment below)
• follow my blog on google friend connect, which is located on the sidebar and WAAAY down to the right (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)

be sure to include your email address in your comment (will not be published) so that i can contact the winner. the contest will end at midnight on tuesday, may 4th.