as a minister and a child of a dynamic presbyterian church, i have been a part of my fair share of foot washings. in fact, very few maundy thursdays or youth retreats have passed without the uneasy descent into vulnerability that occurs when one clumsily liberates the feet from their hiding places of leather, canvas, buckles, and laces, and offers them, in all of their clammy smelliness, to a fellow community member possessed of a rag and water bowl.

it’s too much raw humanity, yet we do it anyway. except for those times when, in the interest of time and the preservation of dignity, we wash hands instead. i have always chuckled at this modification of ritual and this attempt to clean up something that is intentionally messy. until i encountered these:

until i had boys, i did not know it was possible for the putrid smell of a post-game NFL locker room to be contained so neatly in a children’s size nine keen sandal. and i never dreamed that the still-sweet-smelling curly head of an 18-month-old could be part of the same body held upright by tar-bottomed peds. i wash two sets of powerfully smelly feet (almost) every night now. and i am here to tell you: it is not an exercise for the faint of heart.

the level of fith and sacremental beauty present during my kids’ bathtimes far outweighs anything i have ever experienced in all of my 33 years of church membership and six years of ordained ministry.  some rituals happen in gothic stone churches, and others happen in standard issue tubs. but both are grand entrances into deep spiritual intimacy — chances to make and mark meaning as we put one foot in front of the other.

first name: Wendy

age: 30

current city: Vancouver, British Columbia

living situation: I am fortunate to live with three beautiful souls: my husband, my son (four years old), and my daughter (18 months old).

occupation: stay-at-home-mom and blogger

how do you structure your time and space? On a regular weekday, my husband leaves to go to the office very early in the morning before the kids wake up. The majority of my day consists of caring for my two children and running our household, from meals to cleanup, to play time, to circle time (where I like to incorporate learning activities from My Tips To Share).

My son goes to preschool a couple of afternoons a week. In the late afternoons my daughter naps, and my son has quiet time to play with playdoh, color, or make crafts. During that time I write for my blog and/or read other blogs.

My husband comes home and one of us makes dinner. I like cooking, so frequently it is me, but my husband does a good amount too. We have family time (often outside). Some days, I go to an exercise boot camp, and family time happens without me. Next it’s bath time, books, and bedtime. Then, we do a little household cleanup, and often I finish up on my blog while my husband folds laundry. Finally, my husband and I spend some time together. At the present time in our lives this balance works well for us and makes us happy.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have to start by saying I love all seasons! Just the word makes me happy because I look forward to the beauty and joys in each one, and the renewed feeling from the changing of seasons. It is a great metaphor for life, and with family life some days you can experience four seasons all in one day. My goal in this season is to focus on the positive, to enjoy my time with my children, and see it as a gift to treasure right now. I want to be a good role model because my children are little mirrors reflecting my behavior. I try to listen to my inner voice, to believe in and be confident in myself, to give back, and to believe in others.

I started my blog , Give Love, Create Happiness, to encourage people to believe in and love themselves and to live the best life for them. There is so much beauty and love to go around in the world when your heart is open to it. I want to do my part, however big or small, to increase this beauty and love in the world we share together. Blogging helps me to focus on the good, to unleash my creativity, to give back in a way I am capable of doing while maintaining balance with young children. What I didn’t realize when I started blogging is how much I would receive as a result. It feels like the love and support flood in and I am so very grateful.

-what season(s) preceded this one? In the preceding season, I let my heart guide the way, and I moved with my college sweetheart from the east coast of the US (New York) to the west coast of Canada (British Columbia). The move was very big and life-changing for me. It took me outside of my comfort zone, opened me up, and gave me the ability to truly appreciate what I love about my previous home and the seasons there. As well, it opened my eyes and heart to the beautiful things and seasons a different part of the world has to offer. Fresh out of school and in a place where I knew very few people, I worked outside of the home at a vineyard, in a friend’s newly created coffee shop, and in administrative jobs.

However the most significant part of the preceding season was the time my husband and I spent focusing on one another. We were the center of each other’s universe, which involved growing together and forming a strong bond that has proven to be very beneficial in the next season of our lives – the family life!

-what season(s) might your future hold? Although my goal is to live for right now as much as I possibly can, I am very open to the future and look forward to creating a beautiful one! Maybe the next season will involve creating a job I love that gives me freedom to follow my heart and be creative. I truly feel that being determined and believing in yourself are large components in creating the future of your dreams, and that it is okay for those dreams to change along the way.

favorite family activity/activities: We love swimming at the pool together, going for walks in the evening, dancing to our favorite songs, and having movie nights.

favorite solo activity: Most recently I like to get out of the house and attend fitness classes. I leave needing a break and come home feeling better, stronger, and with more to give. I enjoy writing; reading magazines, online articles, and recipes; and photography. I love baking and having moments of quiet reflection (the shower is great for that!). Crafting, creating art, and making seasonal changes to my home are things I also enjoy but are not at the top of my priority list at this time.

source(s) of inspiration: I am constantly inspired by people: their actions, their words, and their creativity! My children inspire me to be the best person I can be, because what I want most for them is to be happy and loving individuals. My husband inspires me with his inner strength and boundless amounts of love. My family and friends, including people I know and people I know only through their work, all inspire me in so many unique and individual ways that I could never sum it up in a few words. I can say that whenever I need inspiration in different areas of my life, it is always there waiting for me to open my eyes to it and let it in.

best MakeShift moment: The most frequent (weekly) MakeShift moments that happen in our house are meals. The beauty in this is that sometimes those meals are the best ones or they are the healthiest, because they involve a lot of fruits and vegetables that don’t require much prep.

Another MakeShift moment that comes to mind is creating baby gates using dining room chairs (carefully placed on their sides) to make  baby gates when we’re traveling and staying in loved ones’ homes. It is part to protect my baby, part to make my life easier in a different environment, and part to protect someone else’s home (I am sure you know what I mean with young kids!).

Happy Living!

Wendy

find wendy on the web at http://www.givelovecreatehappiness.com

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

one of the best parts about spending the month in western north carolina is getting to spend time with my brother, who lives in asheville. and one of the best things about his status here as a local is that he takes us on adventures that cannot be found on trail maps and in guidebooks. who knew that there are hidden trail heads on exit ramps and places on earth where poison ivy and private property give way to scenes like this?

the monkey and bird were experiencing  their first day of clubs, a day camp at montreat, while the adults were embarking upon waterfall hike. but i could not help but be distracted by daydreams of a future time, when my little boys will be big boys, old enough and eager to climb the rocks and dunk their heads under the rushing water. sometimes there is so much promise in the future that it is difficult to stay in the present.

in our current stage of toddlerhood, afternoon naps, and the boys’ almost constant need for assistance, it is so easy to get swept away by far off notions that someday, adult conversation and uninterrupted sleep will re-enter our lives. and then i catch myself forgetting that this time of sloppy nose-kisses, uninhibited delight, the honest articulation of fears, sweet sweaty ringlets, triumph over small accomplishments, and the natural wisdom of innocence is fleeting and precious.  i know i will long for this stage when it is gone.

when we were on our way to the mountains on friday, i received an email from the rental company pressuring us to decide upon our rental plans for next year. never mind that we had not even begun our mountain adventure for the current year. never mind that we were, at the time, simply trying to make a bag of pipe cleaners last for the remainder of our trek down I-40.

the world will lure us prematurely into the future if we haven’t already wandered there ourselves. for me, being fully present in the moment is something i talk about and value, though i find it almost impossible to do! apparently, as i learned on our hike, wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the words, “BE PRESENT” does not automatically calm the multi-tasking mind.

funny how this does, though:

i take solace in the fact that there are moments scattered here and there that seem to stand outside of time. thank goodness for a spontaneous plunge into frigid water; the surrender of the bird, who stops resisting his nap long enough to rest his head on my chest; and the first cup of coffee enjoyed on a tree-top porch.

speaking of coffee, let us not underestimate its importance when it comes to living in the present and parenting small children.

i am always thrilled when readers leave little photographic gems in my inbox. if you have funny pictures of your child(ren), by all means, share the humor and send them on. (the pictures, that is, not the children. i’ve got my hands full over here.)

today’s picture is from anna, who writes, “The night of C’s ballet recital she wanted to sleep in her tutu. I told her no, bathed her, dressed her in pjs, and when I came in to check on her later this is what I found:”

well C sure showed them, huh?

today is the first in a month of mornings that i’ll be waking up in the mountains of western north carolina. i’ll post more soon about our trip and the requisite en route adventure. but for now, let’s catch up on another amusing little episode, shall we?

a couple of weeks ago, andy and i, along with our raucous progeny, were speed-eating our way through dinner at el porton mexican restaurant. then, just as i was taking my first sip of my second margarita, a couple of high school girls, who were participating in some sort of a scavenger hunt, approached us with sombreros and a camera and explained that they needed a picture of a “normal american family.”

as you can see, not even the prospect of high school scavenger hunt fame can distract me from the lure of tequila. the next day, the picture appeared on facebook, and because the world is small, a mutual friend recognized us and tagged me.

but the point is, god help us all if our family is the picture of normalcy!

the monkey has a semi permanent “ear plug dread lock” in his hair thanks to his waxy blue plugs and embarrassingly infrequent showers (hello… doesn’t swimming count?). i still cut my hamburgers into quarters because my mom used to do this for me when i was little. in preparation for our current vacation, i couldn’t find one single toy to bring that was still in tact and had all of its pieces. for distraction purposes, i have given my infants tampons to play with at restaurants and my toddlers duct tape to play with on airplanes. my husband prefers to jog during the hottest part of the day, in what is arguably one of the hottest cities on the planet. our children were conceived through the miracles of science and are raised on a hodge-podge of common sense, superstition, tradition, book knowledge, and exhaustion-induced parenting moves.

but it is not just that our nuclear family is abnormal. we are the apples that have not fallen far from our eccentric family trees. my aunt, for example, is convinced that my deceased grandparents send us messages through blinking lights and other electrical anomalies. i wholeheartedly agree with her. andy’s dad has been known to buy enough plastic wrap at once to last for decades. we are aware of the longevity of such products because he proudly writes the purchase date on them with a sharpie and revels in this sacred “history” every time he is called to cover something up and put it in the fridge.

i would venture to say that i don’t even really LIKE people who seem to be living out the imaginary standard of “normal” living. i am much more drawn to the bizarre particulars that make people who they are.

i hope those high school girls won their scavenger hunt. but mostly, i hope that someday (and the sooner the better), they come to know that “normal” doesn’t really exist. there are many other standards one can employ to measure the quality of one’s life. take the amount of years that one uses the same roll of plastic wrap, for example!

first name: Jennifer

age: 37 

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of almost ten years Tom, and our two children, Emma (four years) and Bennett (nine months). 

occupation: Who knew this would be such a tricky question? I was a city school teacher for ten years and resigned when I had my daughter in 2006. I decided to go back to work part-time teaching four-year-olds at our church preschool. It was perfect because I could use my God-given talent for teaching, and I could be at work with my daughter. Unfortunately I think I will be plucked from my stay-at-home-mom status to return to the trenches of full time work. Insert sad face here!

I also make jewelry.

how do you structure your time and space? I guess one of the good things about being a teacher is that my little ones and I get the same time off (holidays). We spend our days  running around town, enjoying play dates,  and playing outside. 

My jewelry studio (the laundry room) is another place I spend time. My daughter loves to “help” me with my jewelry orders. It can be tricky balancing my studio time with my other responsibilities, but my husband is a big help! Our time together and schedule will definitely be changing in the fall if I return to full-time teaching. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Right now I would say we are in a season of winter. In February, my husband learned that he wasn’t fired, but would no longer be receiving a paycheck. Bummer, I know! He is an architect/project manager, and with this economy, people just are not building. It has been a difficult time filled with anxiety and my own sadness about returning to work full-time. We remain faithful that things will work out.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I will call the last season “swinter,”  a combination of summer and winter. It was a season of some amazing highs and some devastating lows. When I was 31 weeks pregnant, I was placed on hospital bed rest. I spent an entire month in a hospital bed away from my daughter and my husband. During that month my husband lost his mother, I lost my grandmother, and our son was born five weeks early. Our son was born on September 23, the birthday of my grandmother who had passed earlier in the week. It was truly a bittersweet day for us. We were able to bring our little man home two weeks later.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I hope our next season is spring. For me, spring is a time of growth and awakening. We are definitely ready for some good vibes to be heading our way!

favorite family activity/activities: We love to be outside! My daughter has tons of energy, so any activity outside is a good one. We love to go on long walks and ice cream runs. Another favorite place for us is the Memphis Zoo.

favorite solo activity: I love to make jewelry! I started a small business two years ago called Love Loud Designs. I specialize in hand-stamped silver jewelry. It makes me so happy to make things for friends and family. It truly is a passion for me. When I can, I also love catching up on my friends’ blogs and discovering new ones. There is so much out there to explore!  I love anything crafty.

source(s) of inspiration: My husband has been a great source of inspiration for me. He has the patience of Job, the heart of a saint, and the integrity of Billy Graham himself!! He believes in my talent as an artist and he supports the decisions I make as a mom.

Another source of inspiration is my Tuesday night moms’ group. These ladies are amazing mothers, friends, and soul sisters! They inspire me to be a better mom, challenge me spiritually, and uplift me when I am down. I couldn’t ask for a better group of friends!

best MakeShift moment: We were on one of our ice cream runs, and my husband and I noticed that the backseat was really quiet.  The backseat is never quiet.  So I turned around and this is what I saw:

What is a mom to do, tell everyone that her child loves to dress up as the incredible hulk? Note: the only reason she is crying is because we told her that the incredible hulk doesn’t eat ice cream!

 find jennifer on the web: 

• facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Love-Loud-Designs/115205171840226?ref=search&v=wall#!blog: www.lovelouddesigns-jennifer.blogspot.com
• etsy store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/lovelouddesigns

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

i returned last night from the young clergy women’s conference, the topic of which was “leading as ourselves.” as i sat in the sub-artic environs of our candler divinity school classroom and looked around at my fellow girl preachers, i was struck by both awe and jealousy. many of these women work full time in the church or other para-church settings. some of them have children, some of them work part-time or half-time, but very few seemed to be on the piecemeal job plan as i am, stringing together a haphazard collection of part-time gigs with the trials and rewards of stay-at-home motherhood.

i learned later, of course, that i am not the only one holding my life and life’s work together with odd combinations of pipe cleaners, vestments, therapy, wine, and a steam mop. the room was full of those who long, as i did, to have children; those who struggle for balance of all kinds; those who are facing transitions; and those who are wrestling with issues of identity. 

i did not know all of this on day one, though, when one of our beloved speakers, melissa clodfelter, asked us what leadership-related topics we would like to cover in our time together. so, i raised my hand and explained that i am often trying to lead from the margins. because of my simultaneous frustration and delight with the church and my desire to spend the majority of my time with the monkey and the bird, i am never central to the church’s power structures. i often feel like an outsider, and i wonder if i can ever actually effectively lead from this position. though i felt as if i were speaking only for myself at the conference, i know that the world is full of women who feel marginalized in the workplace, whether for reasons of choice or unfair circumstance. what kind of leadership do we, the women on the fringes, have to offer?

i was relieved when melissa answered that the margins are the places from which true leadership emerges. it is only by stepping outside of the structures that rule our world that we gain the perspective needed to change things. fitting in is not a prerequisite for effective leadership, as evidenced by gandhi, martin luther king jr., and jesus christ, himself! in fact, affecting change requires an uncomfortable, liminal type of existance.

i am beginning to see that leadership, from my own personal margins might look like this:

• changing the world, by raising boys who are emotionally intelligent, compassionate, and justice-seeking. brown eyes over scrambled eggs, and all that…
• remaining on the fringes of church in order to speak from a place of perspective and insight.
• remaining connected to the church so that my perspective and insight will matter.
• writing here about what it’s like to try fashion a real, meaningful life that honors my own leanings as well as the legacies handed down to me by superwomen, fifties housewives, and everyone in between.

but mostly, i’m beginning to be thankful that i never quite fit in anywhere. in an odd sort of way, i am in good company. and there is meaning to be found in the margins and proclaimed to the world. thanks for joining me in this process — this little makeshift revolution.

my apologies for for the infrequent posting lately. i’m enjoying the fellowship and insight (and wine) at the young clergy women’s conference in HOTlanta.

first name:Amie

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in a cute house in midtown Memphis with my husband Eric and our two kids.  Phoebe is five and Frankie is two.

occupation: I teach Senior Kindergarten and just finished my first kids’ craft book, so I think I may be an author too!

Sewing School, published by Storey Books, will be on the shelves this fall.

how do you structure your time and space? Oh boy, this is the hard part – finding the balance between work, writing, family, play, household chores, and crafting. I work full-time and my youngest is at daycare while the five-year-old goes to the school where I teach. Weekdays are pretty hectic and normal. We go to work/school, come home by 5:00 p.m., eat dinner, play for about thirty minutes, and then get ready for bed. After that, I have about two hours of “me time,” which usually entails Eric and me sitting on the couch, watching bad TV, and gearing up for the next day. This is also the time I might do some crafting or catch up on work. 

The weekends are when we really have fun. Eric and I try to give the kids some great experiences and expose them to ideas and activities that mean a lot to us such as the Farmers Market, museums, baseball games, gardening, nature hikes, cooking together, garage sales, and live music.  During nap time, I get busy and use my two hours to craft and work on projects. It’s amazing that when you know you only have a short amount of time, you can make it happen. Eric and I also trade off time with the kids to make room for our own creative pursuits. We definitely have to prioritize our lives. My craft room is a perpetual mess, and I have usually forgotten to do about a million things, but we are happy!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Recently, Sewing School, the children’s sewing book I co-wrote, has consumed me. This has been the season of “figuring it all out” for me — figuring out how to write a book in the first place; figuring out how to still be a mom, teacher, and now author; figuring out how to find ever-important time for myself; and figuring out how to give my kids what they need in order to be the kind of people I want them to be.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I was in the “I think I’m getting it!” season before I decided to write the book. I was getting how to be a mom and teacher, getting how to create interesting and creative experiences for my kids, and getting how to create sewing patterns for children (which then led to the book and my current craziness!).

-what season(s) might your future hold? I guess I’ll re-enter the “I think I’m getting it!” season again. Looking back, I realize that this seems to be my norm. I try something new, which turns everything upside down, and then finally “get it” before heading off on the next tangent. 

favorite family activity/activities: Right now, we all look forward to the local farmers market on Saturday mornings. And Eric’s Sunday morning pancakes are a family ritual. Everyone gets involved and helps him cook.

favorite solo activity: Sewing, definitely. I like to sew for my kids and myself and create new sewing patterns for children.

Source(s) of inspiration: I am lucky to work in such an amazing environment at my school. I work with a lot of working moms – moms who offer me advice, share stories, and sympathize with me. Without my workplace family, I would be a mess. I am also a big fan of craft blogs – some of my favorites are linked on my blog, http://sewingschool.blogspot.com. The Sewing School blog documents and shares ideas for sewing and crafting with kids as well as highlights some of my own crafting and family adventures.

Best MakeShift moment: I don’t think I’ve had my ultimate MakeShift moment yet. I’m sure it’s on the horizon, though!

I do my best to offer my kids some tools and ideas to promote independence and creativity. In the kitchen, the kids have a low drawer filled with their own cups, bowls, and plates. I also have some snacks (goldfish, pretzels, et cetera) that they can fix for themselves. While it doesn’t always work, it does keep me from making a million snacks a day!  We also have a great craft area set up for the kids with crayons, markers, paper, scissors, tape, and little recyclable containers and lids. Everything they can use is at their reach. I keep paints and glue high up so that I can control the mess. 

Recently, I helped Phoebe to wash all of her dress-up clothes outside. They were super dirty and needed some TLC. I was afraid that some of the fabric would not make it through the washer, so I got out a bucket with soapy water and she went to work! We hung them on the clothesline.  While she scrubbed away, I got some important weeding done in the garden. She had a blast and now her dress-up clothes are clean and smell fresh. 

find amie on the web:

• amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sewing-School-Hand-Sewing-Projects-Kids/dp/1603425780/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274385967&sr=8-3
• blog: http://sewingschool.blogspot.com

my friend and boss, jarad, came up with these few lines the other day. they came just in time to remind me that my work in the home is important. i hope they do the same thing for you.

it doesn’t take a whole village
or a new paradigm
or any other grand thing
to make the world better,
not if the world is sitting across the counter-
brown eyes over scrambled eggs-
looking at you.

(the world happens
just like that.)