name: Jennifer

age: 33

current city: Bartlett, TN

living situation: We’re happily living in a suburban house, surrounded by awesome neighbors, shopping, school, and extended family. I live with my high school boyfriend, who smartly married me in 1997; our older daughter, Grace, who was born in 2002; and our younger daughter, Paige, who was born in 2004. Because I have allergies, we have no pets (unless you count the stuffed animals that seem to multiply faster than bunnies). By the grace of God, I have been able to keep a few houseplants alive, and the children as well.

occupation: I am currently a full time mother and wife. 

how do you structure your time and space? I love organizing my home and the feeling I have from knowing it is clean. Strangely, when I am the most stressed, my floors are the cleanest. Vacuuming helps me work through problems. Plus, it is great exercise! I am a big list-maker. I even have lists of my lists! One of my favorite apps on my android phone is the one for lists. I’d be totally lost without it.   

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Since my husband is a meteorologist, it seems appropriate to describe our seasons in weather terms. I would say that I’m now in a calm season. I recently “retired” from my job as a Director of Youth Music in a church. Although I loved working outside of the home and was pretty good at what I did, I always had a sense of guilt that I was neglecting my children and husband. I felt as if I couldn’t do anything to the best of my ability while juggling so many things at once. It wasn’t an easy decision for me, and I feel as if I’m giving up a part of my identity and passion, but I know it was the best for us at this point in our lives.  

I feel blessed that we’re financially okay to do without my paycheck, and I owe much of that credit to Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace principles. We’ve been following Dave’s teachings for almost ten years, and it has been such a blessing for our marriage and family. 

I love that my children are so much more independent at ages five and eight. They can go to the bathroom by themselves, get a snack if they’re hungry, help with housework, entertain themselves, et cetera. I’m not a slave to their tummies, bowels, or nap schedules. I love that they can carry on conversations like little adults. It is neat to glimpse the people they are growing up to be.     

-what season(s) preceded this one? The last season was stormy. It was stressful juggling work and family and never quite meeting the expectations for either. I couldn’t fully enjoy things because I was worried about how I was going to tackle the next week’s schedule, project, event, holiday, meal, load of laundry, et cetera. It was exhausting. We were fortunate that the church where I worked had one of the best preschools in the area, so both of my children were able to attend preschool while I worked about 30 hours per week. It was difficult on holidays and breaks, though, trying to find a sitter or take them with me to my office. And it never failed that during my busiest times, one of my children would catch strep throat, have an ear infection, break an arm on the swing set, or get a chicken tender stuck up her nose. Yes, you read it right.  A chicken tender up her nose. We’re still not sure why she thought to put a piece of poultry in her nose on the day of a big concert at church. We’re just grateful that the pediatrician was able to get the chunks of chicken out without a trip to the ER, and I’m especially grateful to my husband who took her to that visit without me because I had to be at the concert. 

I can’t believe how quickly my children have grown up and I feel like I missed the opportunity to truly enjoy it because I was so stressed over all the things I thought I had to get done. In hindsight, I wish I’d not been such a perfectionist and just enjoyed the precious stages they were in. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? This fall marks a huge change for our family since both girls are in elementary school all day (kindergarten and third grade). I look forward to volunteering at their school. I might substitute teach there for some extra income. It will be nice to have the flexibility and freedom. I’m looking forward to enjoying the moments more, not worrying about things as much. Perhaps, when my children are older, I’ll return to directing music, because I did enjoy it, but for now I’m content and very blessed

 favorite family activities: swimming, playing wii together, dates with my husband, and  random Mystery Trips to surprise my children (ice cream, snow cones, movies, swimming, Levitt Shell, Memphis Zoo, Dollar Store, library, nature walks, concerts, et cetera)

 favorite solo activities: reading, catching up with friends and family on Facebook, shopping, and finding bargains.

source(s) of inspiration: God, my mom and dad, my siblings, my friends, and my wonderful husband. 

best MakeShift moment: Our Toy Jail has helped cut down on my children’s clutter. We remind the kids once (okay, maybe twice) before bedtime to make sure their things are put away. If the toys are left out, we simply put the toys in Toy Jail (a laundry basket at the top of the closet). 

If the kids have a clean day and/or have been helpful, they’ll get to pick one or more things from the Toy Jail. When the jail gets full, we throw away or donate toys. It teaches them responsibility for their things, we don’t have to nag, clean-up isn’t a battle, and our house pretty much stays clutter-free. 

I also use “creative descriptions” for things a lot. For example, we have a fluffy brown towel that neither child liked to use after bath time. One time I called that brown towel the “Chocolate” towel, and now they argue over who gets it. The once-coveted soft green towel is now second choice as the “Mint” towel. Go figure. 

jennifer invites you to check out her husband’s amazingly accurate weather website at http://www.memphisweather.net/. 

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

i’ve been running in a thousand directions lately but i wanted to stop in and share a few of my new favorite things:

1. the big green egg:

i know i have written here before about my fabulous neighbors. but perhaps i have not explained that we are slightly commune-esque. it has become a regular practice for us to eat a couple of meals a week together in the middle of our cove. the kids run around, the adults eat whatever strange combinations of food we’ve pooled together, and there is always plenty of wine. perhaps the latter came into play the night that the plan to jointly purchase a green egg was hatched. saturday there was a grand delivery, an assembly, a video to watch, and a huge celebratory feast of grilled meat and veggies. we also discovered that the big green egg cover doubles as a big green monster costume.

2. through to sunrise by girlyman:  

i dare you to maintain a sour mood while this song is playing. it’s impossible. here are some of the lyrics: 

“Keep the faith, don’t toe the line, and watch it through your two eyes
Leave the light still on inside and watch it through to sunrise
Leave the fight and go behind where all the stupid fear dies
Keep the light still on inside and watch it through to sunrise”

by way of a warning, i should tell you that this song has been known to induce ecstatic dancing. even though he was strapped in his car seat, the bird danced so wildly to this song last week that a giant piece of styrofoam fell out of the seat.

3. superglue. see # 2.

4. hipstamatic. my friend lynn introduced me to this iphone app that takes vintage-looking photos. hours of entertainment.

5. star runners. andy and i are gearing up again this year for the st. jude half marathon in december. i’ve never done much in the way of training before, so i am really enjoying designated runs for speed, pacing, and distance. but most of all, i like meeting up with a group four times a week to run. i’ve always been a sucker for community.

6. the sketchbook project.anyone in the world can be part of this project sponsored by the arthouse co-0p in new york. for a small fee, the co-op will send you a sketchbook. you fill its pages and send it back, then they exhibit the results in the brooklyn art library. the sketchbooks are also cataloged in digital form so that they can be viewed by way of the internet. i am participating in the “monthly” version of the project, which is a simpler and more condensed version.

7. oreo cheesecake pretzl bites. i found this recipe on the picky palate blog and tried it saturday night. delicious!

i’ve got some more coherent posts in the works, as well as some good “mothers of invention” features. stay tuned…

when andy left the house last night for a meeting, our evening routine was ahead of schedule. the bird was clean and running around in a diaper. the monkey was in the shower, and i was so giddy at the prospect of having everyone in bed (including myself) by 8:15 that i even found motivation to do the dinner dishes. i am not sure how things devolved so quickly into a scene from the big lebowski.

the bird took a rare break from meddling in the dishwasher (yes, IN) to tell me that he wanted to tee tee in the potty. the fact that he pulled his diaper off and ran toward the bathroom prompted me to take him seriously, even though we’ve got at least six months to go before we re-enter potty training hell. i dangled over the potty for a couple of minutes to no avail. as it turns out, the bathroom rug held much greater appeal. he soaked the area around his feet and then giggled with maniacal glee!

not to be outdone, the monkey, who was cleaning his “stinky parts” in the nearby shower opened the steamy door, jutted out his pelvis, and marked his own territory on the rug. then, he let out his own prideful fit of uproarious laughter.

now i’ve got to schlep this rug into the back yard and hose it down. the bathroom floor with be awfully cold and bare while it’s gone. alas. it really tied the room together.

if someone snuck into my house under the cover of darkness and absconded with my kitchen cd player, i would never cook again. as i see it, kitchen music has a twofold purpose:

1. to focus children’s boundless energy on hilarious and frenetic dance moves so that parents can get dinner on the table…

2. and to drown out endless screeching requests for dora gummies and other persistent high-pitched pleas.

without further introduction, i present to you dancing in the kitchen volume II. may your evenings be full of music and meatballs, wine and the weepies. bon appetit!

for those of you who missed dancing in the kitchen volume I last march, it is available here.

lately, i’ve been reading geneen roth’s women, food, and god, a book i passed over the first four times it called out to me from the best-seller rack at target. the book is a spiritual approach to disordered relationships with food, exercise, and the body, disordered relationships that used to be landmarks in my own internal terrain. in light of new found and much appreciated health in these areas, i was hesitant to read about what women do to mask, override, indulge, project, and protect our hungers. it’s better just to celebrate that the real struggle is behind me, i thought. it’s better not ask too many questions.

roth describes addictions to food, thinness, exercise, et cetera as coping mechanisms for more existential struggles and longings. in order to avoid “trusting our less tangible hungers (for rest, contact, meaning),” which are often surprising “doorways into a blazing inner universe,” women often use food, rigid discipline, dieting, and the like to transform our existential angst into something more manageable (14, 15). and there are secondary gains that come when we buy into the widespread weight loss industry. this industry has given women a language to speak about our shortcomings. it has given us the illusion that we can control our fates. it has given us company in our loneliness. but as roth points out, it also traps us in the cycle of losing and gaining the same 18 pounds, 30 different times, over a lifespan of about 80 years.

in my reading of women, food, and god, i have recognized myself in what roth describes as “creating a secondary problem when the original problem becomes too uncomfortable” (52). it has occurred to me that a good bit of the energy i used to exert over body image issues is currently channelled into another common secondary problem: finding that ever-elusive balance between love and work. perhaps the real struggle is not behind me after all. perhaps it has merely changed forms.

though i swore off dieting many years ago, i am enjoying similar secondary gains in the quest for balance. once again, i have a language for articulating my grief, a notion that i can control my fate by making the right choices, and a community of other women who are trying along with me to restore equilibrium to our lives. and it strikes me that this quest might also trap me in a similar cycle of losing and gaining my balance 30 plus times for a lifespan of about 80 years (or at least until my children are launched).

i’m now asking myself what deeper hungers are masked by the ever-popular quest for balance. have i internalized systemic ills and personalized the great imbalances around me? are my feverish engagements with the working world merely escape attempts from a basic loneliness that could be a “doorway to a blazing universe?” is my decision to spend most of my time at home a way of taking myself out of a game i fear i’d lose?

i don’t know the answers to these questions but i think they are worth pondering. it seems entirely possible that fullness is achieved by embracing our hungers.

[source for this post is located on the bibliography page in the sidebar to your right.]

name: MaryAnn

age: 38

current city: Springfield, VA (suburb of Washington DC)

living situation: I live with my husband Robert and my “blessed trinity” of children: Caroline (age seven), Margaret (almost five) and James (almost three). We have two geriatric cats, Maya and Willy, who’ve been with Robert and me since the beginning of our marriage 16 years ago.

Our neighborhood is classic suburbia in many ways—July 4 block parties and neighborhood yard sales. But it’s also wonderfully diverse. We see women wearing hijab pushing their kids in strollers in our neighborhood, and there are more than 100 languages spoken here in Fairfax County.

occupation: I am pastor of Idylwood Presbyterian Church, Falls Church, VA, and a writer. I just finished a three-year stint as a monthly columnist for Presbyterians Today, our denomination’s magazine, and am one of the founders of Fidelia’s Sisters, an e-zine which is by and for young clergy women. I’ve written for secular publications too; I even had a short piece published in the Washington Post Style section a few years back! And I am working on two book projects, although it fills me with anxiety to say that out loud, because I’m not sure whether they’ll ever get done.

how do you structure your time and space? I work part-time for Idylwood, which is a small congregation. When I tell this to fellow pastors, they usually look at me knowingly and say, “Oh come on, there’s no such thing as part-time ministry, right? You just get paid part-time for full-time work.” I am on a mission to prove them wrong! This is my second call at part-time status. I started out full-time as an associate pastor of a large church seven years ago, and when James was born I asked to move to half-time. The congregation was gracious to make the change. Now I work 2/3 time.

It’s a constant struggle to find the balance. I’ve had to make peace with being the “good-enough mother” and the “good-enough pastor.” But most days, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the work I do, preaching, teaching and caring for this quirky congregation. Yet my schedule is flexible enough to take Margaret to “tap and tutu” class at the rec center and lead Caroline’s Brownie meeting from time to time. I work shortened days, which allows me to exercise in the mornings and still be homeafter the bus drop off in the afternoon. I work a lot of evenings too.

I have an office at the church, but I do a lot of work in my home office. It’s located in our dining room, which we converted into a creative space/study several months ago. In fact, I named my blog “The Blue Room” in honor of this room. You can read more about it here.

Our childcare situation is a dream come true. A neighbor who used to teach preschool began a daycare in her basement when her own daughter was born. She follows a curriculum but it’s more relaxed with the feeling of being at home. She’s half a block away, which makes mornings and evenings much less stressful. My mother lives downtown, which allows Robert and me to have date night a few times a month.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Our family is settling into what the church calls “ordinary time.” It’s not one of the high holy seasons, such as Christmas or Easter—things are just trucking along, and that’s OK. Green is the symbolic color of this season, implying growth, so I associate ordinary time with the summer months. We’re enjoying our kids at their current delightful stages of development, we like our jobs, our house feels like “home,” et cetera.

-what season(s) preceded this one? We’ve been through a lot of transition, which I associate with spring—planting seeds, watering and weeding, et cetera. There’s a lot of beauty in the spring but a LOT of work as well (so I’m told—I don’t garden, it’s enough to keep our kids and cats alive, and I can’t handle anything else!). I’ve been at my job almost a year, and my husband recently changed jobs as well, and that creates stress. Also, our kids manage to pick up every petty illness, fever and cold that’s out there, and they are NEVER sick at the same time. One gets better and the other one catches it. So our normally well-run household has been off the rails for several months.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Even as I live in the moment and try not to speed along my kids’ growing up, I admit I’m ready to get past the constant physical exertion of having young children—dressing them, feeding them, wiping their butts when they poop. I will not miss diapers and sippy cups.

That said, I know from parenting our second grader that the needs are still there as they age; in fact these needs only get more complex (homework, juggling activities, relationships with friends, et cetera). We don’t over-program our children but I’m a little freaked out to think about how I will get them from place to place. Even one activity a week per child adds up when there are three of them! However, I love watching our kids grow more and more fully into themselves. I guess I’m doing that too.

favorite family activities: We love to go downtown to do the DC stuff: museums, the zoo, pedal boating in the Tidal Basin next to the Jefferson Memorial. This summer we lived at the pool. We’ve started doing more hiking, with a recent trip to Shenandoah National Park. We eat dinner together most nights, but Sunday night is family night, which for us means a pizza “picnic” in the basement while watching a TV show everyone likes (currently Mythbusters). 

favorite solo activities: Reading, lunch with friends, blogging, wandering around downtown DC, visiting a museum, getting a massage or pedicure. My morning walk is really important to me. I’ve recently gotten into the online courses through the Abbey of the Arts which is a great outlet and something I can manage with my schedule.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by artists whose lives and work speak of simplicity, wholeness and authenticity. David Wilcox’s music never ceases to inspire me, and Carrie Newcomer has provided my life’s soundtrack for almost 15 years. Mary Oliver’s poetry is a great inspiration, especially “The Journey,” which is a personal mission statement of sorts.

best MakeShift moment: Parenting is one big improvisation, no? I call it parenting parkour. There have been many MakeShift moments, but the first one I thought of was seven years ago, when I was being approved for ordination. I had to attend a big meeting of the presbytery (local district of Presbyterian churches) and give a short speech and answer any questions. Caroline was six weeks old, and I knew she would get hungry right when I was supposed to be “on,” so I ended up pumping in the backseat of the car while Robert drove us down the Capital Beltway. I always wondered whether the truck drivers said anything to one another about me on their CB radios…

find maryann on the web at http://theblueroomblog.org/ 

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

my new friend caroline recently shared with me that many of her women role models don’t seem to balance love and work as much as they appear to be merely surviving love and work. implied in this statement is the notion that mothers are in a constant state of reaction to life’s curve balls: forgotten lunches, toddler illnesses, workplace dramas, heaps of laundry, et cetera. the holy grail (which i often mistake for a wine glass or champagne cocktail) then becomes that rare stillness that gives rise to intentionality. it’s the chance to act, and not react. it’s about making wise choices about those few moving parts in our lives that we can actually control.

for me, it’s difficult to imagine what a life of balance could look like when mere survival seems to be the most prevalent motherhood mode. but in the words of carolyn g. heilbrun, “what matters is that lives do not serve as models; only stories do that.” essentially, even as most of us are caught up in the business of reaction and survival, we have moments when our thinking shifts, when we trust our instincts, make counter-cultural choices, take charge, and replace conventions and expectations with trail-blazing honesty. even those of us who live lives of survival have a story or two to tell about a moment of balance. and in the words of my new friend caroline, “stories take us beyond abstract theory and into the world of the living and integrating.”

there are tales of a new way lurking in every person’s history; there is potential of trail-blazing honesty in every encounter. the key is to extract these stories from others and to share our own. when we do this we are collectively constructing a new narrative — one that has the power to draw us out of survival mode, even if it’s just for one moment at a time.

[source for this post is located on the bibliography page found on the sidebar to your right.]

“what made you decide to become a minister?”

i have been on the receiving end of this question for over ten years now, and i have spouted off my answer the way a runner trots down a well-worn path, pointing out landmarks (female minister role models, a life-long fascination with mystery) as i (r)amble on. but every once in a while, a wise questioner will cut me off and say,

“no, really. what do YOU get out of having the title of minister, wearing the robe, the instant intimacy, et cetera. what is it about you that needs that?”

divinity school afforded me the kind of introspection required to honestly answer this question. i became more and more comfortable owning not only my purest and most altruistic reasons for entering the ministry, but also my need to be needed, the relief i found in the robe’s instant validation, and the sense of inclusion i felt when others let me in to their deepest experiences of joy and despair. the key, i learned back then, was to own these things and keep them in check. dishonesty about my own fulfillment would result in harm to others.

nobody ever asks me anymore why i went into the ministry. perhaps this is because i have made choices that translate into a vocational hybrid of writing and working floor puzzles, leading study groups and changing diapers, performing the occasional religious ritual and the kids’ nightly bedtime rituals. but the irony is that now that so little of my time is spent wearing a robe, being needed by other adults, and treading lightly on the sacred ground of others’ intimate affairs, some of my more base reasons for entering the ministry are more obvious to me than they ever have been before.

reorienting myself to the very different kind of validation and intimacy that comes with motherhood is a continuous challenge for me. sometimes i feel as if there is a vacuum (or perhaps a shark steam mop) where my healthy ego used to be, and a tinge a loneliness that was formerly squelched by the stream of college students making their way to my college chaplaincy office.

but i am still grateful for the two wise questioners in my life, the little boys who don’t care at all about my female minister role models or my fascination with mystery. they don’t care whether i’m wearing clergy garments or even undergarments. they love me just the same.

the key now is for me to learn to follow their lead.

last night, the kids played with a babysitter while andy and i went to dinner and a movie. i don’t think that i am merely assuaging my mommy guilt when i say that a good babysitter (and we’re grateful to have several) has the capacity to be “more than i am and everything that i am not,” to borrow words from life’s work by lisa belkin (67). these sitters usually make their entrances during the six p.m. hour, when all of my energy has been sucked up by the day’s celebrations and endless negotiations (kids are little lawyers, aren’t they?). these gals aren’t trying to work from home or fold a week’s worth of laundry.they don’t utter phrases such as, “i’m too tired to play football with you right now.” and perhaps they even possess the resolve and distracting power to enforce rules that i have been known to abandon in my weakest parenting moments.

if all goes well, andy and i return home to two sleeping angels and the sitter’s report that the evening at our house was pure magic. we get a rundown of our children’s antics, most of which are endearing and cause our favorite teenage girls to utter phrases such as, “i love your children.”

there is no better music to my ears… or so i THOUGHT.

last night’s date came after what was, for me, a very challenging week of parenting. the bird pitched screaming fits EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. i changed his diaper, put him in the car seat, and got him dressed. he hit me in the face, kicked me in the gut, and woke up each new day ready for another round (even after an evening when the screaming fits extended past midnight). if it were not for my memories of the monkey (who is now delightful to be around most of the time) acting similarly when he was this age, i would have collapsed into a crying heap somewhere around wednesday.

and so, last night when andy and i returned home to the sitter, i braced myself for what i knew would not be her usual sunny report. she described the evening in detail, which included the bird’s recent fit-pitching trends combined with the fact that the monkey could not find his “it” animal required for peaceful sleep. food was thrown. bath time was pure misery. our dog even added to the cacophony by nipping at her ankles.

i thought it would feel horrible to hear someone, who loves my children, regretfully relay the events of such a trying evening. i was wrong. when the words, “i am so exhausted… i don’t see how you do this day in and day out… how do you wade through this chaos?” came out of this poor girl’s mouth, i wanted to kiss her.

if a sophomore in high school, who is half my age and with three times my energy, finds my existence to be somewhat difficult, perhaps i am not going crazy after all. or, maybe more accurately, my insanity is warranted. god, i love empathy.

i just hope we can persuade this poor sitter to come back!

name: Andrea Shelton

age: 41 

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband, Joe, my two children Spencer (age 14) and Abby (age 11), three dogs, and one cat. 

occupation: founder/president of a prison ministry called HeartBound Ministries; wife; mother; friend

how do you structure your time and space? Ah, striking a balance and structuring time and space is truly the trickiest part of motherhood! My office is at home, which is, for the most part, a good thing. However, there are moments when business and personal collide, such as when business calls come during dinner or family time.

As for childcare, both of my kids are middle schoolers, so I work like crazy when they are in school (8:45 – 3:45), and I try to focus on being a mom when they are at home. It doesn’t always work, but I try. Sometimes I even incorporate the kids into my work. For example, I’ll strike a deal – they can watch television if they agree to stuff or stamp envelopes! It lightens my load, gives them the opportunity to serve (and be entertained), and allows me to meet their physical needs (food, laundry, and house-cleaning) instead of working in my office.

We’ve all heard the phrase “quality vs. quantity,” and to some extent I think that’s true, but I do think there is a lot to be said for quantity – being physically present in the lives of my children. There were times early in my career as an assistant administrative law judge when I left my son with a nanny three days a week. We were a young married couple trying to save for our first home, so we did what we had to do. But my husband and I have always agreed that if we could financially afford it, I would be home. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have jobs that allowed me to earn a living while working at home. One of my bosses actually allowed me to bring my infant son to work for six weeks until I could find suitable child care! I eventually found a nanny I could share with another family. I continued that scenario until I felt it was financially feasible for me to become an independent contractor and work from home. It’s ALWAYS been my desire to be at home with my kids.

I pray, “Lord, please expand my time,” and He does. If I think too much about how I’m going to get it all done, I can get overwhelmed or sink into a feeling of self-pity. But when I remember that I am gifted with the same amount of hours as everyone else, and I ask God for help, I gain a new perspective.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having a teenage son and pre-teen daughter presents both highlights and challenges, but mostly highlights. I’ve loved every season of being a mom, but I really feel that I’m hitting my stride in the latter years. In the beginning when the kids were little, I was full of insecurities – was I doing it right? Now, I see these two lovely young people who are compassionate, intelligent, and fun, and I think, “So far, so good!” They are really such a pleasure!

Physically, I’ve never felt better. I’ve managed to find the time to work out three days a week for 30 minutes at a local sculpt and burn class. I’m not as tired because my kids sleep! Oh, those early years were exhausting! I’m not exactly sure what I’d call this season – we’re not in “the wonder years” any more. But whatever this season is, I’m loving it. What I’m not looking forward to is “the automobile age.” The thought of putting my beloved children into an automobile (or as my dad called it, when he handed me the keys to my first car, “a killing machine”), is almost too much to bear!

-what season(s) preceded this one? preceded this one? The years past were the wonder years, the sleepless years, the anxious years. While I LOVED being the mom of younger children, most of the time I felt like a crumpled up Capri Sun package on the floor of the car. I had all the juice sucked out of me and the kids just kept saying, “Can we have some more??!” 

-what season(s) might your future hold? “The automobile age” (see discussion above) is in my future, and so are the college years. And as funny as it may seem coming from a 41-year-old, I’m already thinking about grandchildren! Time goes SO fast. I really look forward to seeing my children happily married and starting their own families.

favorite family activities: We love to travel, especially to New York City. We try to get away to NYC at least once a year, usually in the fall. I’ve always liked traveling with my kids so that I can experience things through their eyes. My husband and I aren’t the types to leave the kids behind while we jet-set. We like doing things as a family. Another favorite family time is evening dinner. Having dinner together is a TOP priority in this family. If we miss a few dinners together due to sports, I start feeling disconnected. I believe there are two activities that almost guarantee a healthy family – praying and eating together.

favorite solo activities: working out (the Sculpt and Burn class I attend has been life-changing); tap dancing; scrapbooking

source(s) of inspiration: my faith, my family, my friends

best MakeShift moment: Just this week, I let the dog unroll an entire roll of toilet paper while I triedto help a friend. I used to set up a playpen in the bathroom so that I could shower without wondering if someone would choke, drink poison, fall down the stairs, et cetera. I’ve traded babysitting with friends so that each of us could enjoy a night out with our spouse. I’ll host about anything imaginable for my kids (Wyldlife Club, Girl Scouts, Sunday School parties, sleepovers, Domestic Diva Club), so that I can keep a pulse on what is happening in their lives. I am extremely active in their school – my husband and I have started three clubs there. We want our kids to know that we are invested in their lives and the lives of their friends. Sometimes that takes some juggling, but I believe that investment will reap positive returns. I’m already seeing that in the lives of my kids. Perhaps my best MakeShift moments are the countless times I’ve incorporated my kids into volunteer efforts. It could be anything from packing Christmas boxes for children in need to baking for a bake sale.

Also, I’m willing to give up some things to gain others. For example, I don’t have a house cleaning service. I clean my own home (with the help of my kids and husband), and then I can justify using the cost-savings on eating out with my family once or twice a week, or saving for a fantastic trip. MakeShift moments are often about trade offs – what am I willing to sacrifice for what is REALLY important. So what if my house doesn’t get cleaned in a day? Dinner at our favorite restaurant or a fun weekend in New York are more important to me.

find andrea on the web at http://www.heartboundministries.com/

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[capri sun image is by kris d’amico]