[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Jenni

age: 29

occupation: Market Manager

how do you structure your time and space? My working hours are typically 8:00 to 5:30, and have to close two days a week, which puts me home around 7:00 p.m. Of the days when I close, my mom gets Noah one evening, and I have a pair of wonderful babysitters who get him the other night. I also work two Saturdays a month from 8:00 to 5:00 and have one of my fabulous sitters on that day.  

Our house is messy (but not dirty) and has all the regular clutter of a three-year-old. A tricycle, a train set and Legos all are on the living room floor as I type this. On a typical night, Noah goes to bed at 7:30 (he doesn’t necessarily go to sleep but he is in bed with books and bunnies by that time), and I have a few hours to myself. I am going back to school to get my MBA online, so I do homework and watch TV until my bedtime. 

Until 7:30, I try to be as “in the moment” as possible, since I don’t have as much time with Noah as I would like. With the days getting longer and the weather getting nicer, we usually eat dinner on the front porch to take advantage of the sunshine and avoid the TV. Noah is allergic to practically everything (peanuts, milk, eggs, soy and wheat) so we currently subsist almost entirely on a diet of chicken nuggets and peaches. This makes dinner time easy. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? We are currently in summer at my house. We are finally getting more time to spend together, enjoying longer days to play outside, and relaxing with fewer schedules to keep. Noah loves to be outside (he might live out there if no bugs were around!) so he is having so much fun right now. There is a park just down the street from our house, and we try to go there at least once or twice a week. Since I started back to school, I am feeling the pinch of not having enough time to do everything. The rule at our house is that if something isn’t going to hurt us or someone else, we don’t fight about it. Life is too short so we pick our battles. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? We were in winter before moving back to Memphis in November. I worked about 70 hours a week at my old job, and Noah was in daycare at least 60 hours a week. It has always just been the two of us, but I had a great network of babysitters and friends there to call on. Even so, I was always tired and depressed from working at a job I no longer enjoyed and one that took me away from my son so much. I began looking for a new job that would facilitate my relocation to Memphis to be close to my family. Obviously, the job market is rather bleak right now, but I was connected with my current company through a wonderful woman at my home church.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I think we are headed into fall. New and exciting things are happening for both of us. With my going back to school and Noah’s learning so much every day (including potty training, which I thought would never happen), it feels like the beginning of a new semester. I am working to figure out how to make time for everything (including myself), and I feel like I am trying to find my way around campus all over again.

favorite family activity/activities: playing on the playground, taking nature walks, finding pretty flowers to smell, and watching movies (currently the Toy Story series is our favorite). We also love going to the zoo and to ballgames.

favorite solo activities: drinking wine, watching TV, reading, napping, hanging out with friends, especially at restaurants I can’t go to with a child. (I know that’s not solo but it is a non-Mommy activity.)

sources of inspiration: My mom is definitely a big inspiration to me. She was a single mom when I was younger until we met her wonderful husband, and she understands what I am going through. Sometimes we drive each other crazy but that unconditional love is still there. Likewise, I want Noah to know that he can always come to me so we can work through things together, even when he knows I will be upset.

best MakeShift moment: Our life is one big makeshift moment. I tried to think of one that I was not too embarrassed to admit (unlike the fact that my three-year-old still sleeps in a crib because he doesn’t know he could climb out, and I like having him contained to prevent arguments that involve words like, “no you can’t play in your playroom right now…go back to bed”). Or the fact that my mom taught him to “Cheers,” and he knows you only do that with a wine glass and likes to do it a billion times if we go out to dinner and someone has wine.

I came up with the day I taught him which button to push on his DVD player so he can change the DVD as many times as he wants when we travel, and I don’t have to pull over. He knows how to skip commercials (previews) and push the “circle button” to start it when the menu comes on. It made our many six-plus-hour trips from Chattanooga to Memphis more bearable.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

first name: Jessica

age: 36

occupation: 

• Teacher on a looong sabbatical
• Full-time mom and housekeeper
• Part-time student, studying for my English as a Second Language (ESL) endorsement
• Part-time employee of The New Teacher Project  (TNTP) as Lead Selector with Memphis Teaching Fellows, selecting candidates for an alternate certification program and placement in the Memphis City Schools

how do you structure your time and space? Because my work is part-time and mostly on Saturdays, and my kids are now both in school every day, I have a lot of my weekdays free to take care of “my stuff.” I spend part of every day exercising (running, stretching/yoga, boot camp, walking), keeping house (laundry, laundry, laundry), reading/studying/writing papers, and running errands/preparing menus and meals. My “office” is my kitchen counter. I have struggled a bit with using my time wisely so that I am not overwhelmed when a deadline is looming, but I am starting to get the hang of it. My goal is that I do not have to do any of my schoolwork and very little housework once the kids and husband get home so our evenings and weekends are free for family activities. About half of the time I meet that goal.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The highlight of my current season is having so much time to myself. The challenge is using this time wisely and staying mindful of how important this time is. I don’t know when or if I will ever have this kind of time again to read, garden, study, and have lunch with friends. I am trying to get as much enjoyment as possible out of this season. I sort of look at this as my retirement time. Soon, I will go back to work full-time. Some days it is hard to face a full day at home alone, but I am learning to be thankful every day for time to just sit in quiet if I want to.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season preceding this one was definitely not quiet. It was one of noise and song and laughter and tears. I spent about five years with my babies/children at home full-time and several more with part-time preschool. It was hard sometimes, but now that it is over, I realize how short that time was. Before having Lillian, I was a full-time teacher in a middle school in North Memphis. I loved it, and it was a more difficult decision to stop teaching than I had ever thought it would be.

-What season(s) might your future hold? My future definitely holds another season of teaching, either part-time or full-time. I am working on my ESL endorsement because it is something that has always interested me and there are more opportunities in this field for part-time work than with regular classroom teaching. I am torn, though. I love teaching middle school Language Arts (I know, I’m crazy). But, I have another year of courses and I’m looking at increased part-time work with TNTP in the coming year. So, no matter what happens, the next season will be busier, with less time for myself. 

favorite family activity/activities: walking the kids to school together, walking in our neighborhood and through the old forest of Overton Park, being at the beach, riding bikes, listening to music at the Levitt Shell, camping, traveling, playing games, reading together, and enjoying homemade pizza and movie nights

favorite solo activities: running, reading, drawing, cooking, baking bread and other goodies, gardening

sources of inspiration: my husband and kids, my parents and sister, my dear friends, my Dream Group, music, and nature

best MakeShift moment: As several other “mothers of invention” have noted, bath time is full of great makeshift moments. My kids’ tub time has often given me the opportunity to talk to them the whole time while clean the rest of the bathroom. Bath Time was always alphabet time when the kids were younger. We had foam bath letters, and we made a game of identifying the letters and/or making words with them. Or, I would read the newspaper to them (and me!) while they were bathing. Now that my kids are getting older and my daughter takes showers by herself, I don’t get as much of that time. But, I do still put little Charlie to work while he is in the bathtub. I give him a little baking soda, he makes a paste, and cleans the tiles within his reach while I clean the rest of the bathroom. He has a ball, and I get a clean bathroom. Win-win makeshift moment.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

[remember to scurry on over to this post and enter to win a custom-made superkid cape for a super kid in your life.]

first name: Johanna

age: 36

living situation: I live with my husband and my two year old son.

occupation: Professor

how do you structure your time and space? I work full time during the academic year at a small teaching college and am expected to spend about 40 hours a week on campus. My child attends a nearby daycare.

During the academic year, I teach either one or two nights a week. On those days, I go into work a little later and have some time with my son at home in the morning. Those days are also “Boys’ Nights In,” and my husband comes home from work early, picks our son up from daycare, and takes care of him while I am teaching.

I have about seven weeks off during the summer, four weeks at Christmas, as well as some shorter breaks during the academic year. I spend as much of this time as I can with my son. I also work at home some during these breaks, usually during nap time or after my son’s bedtime.

I often do laundry and other homemaking tasks early in the morning before my son gets up. We also have someone help with cleaning every other week. I like to cook and want my family to have healthy, homemade meals, but that time after work and before bedtime is precious and goes by so quickly. I am unwilling to spend much of it preparing a meal. So, I have settled into a routine of cooking mainly on the weekends so that we can either eat leftovers or out of the crock pot on weeknights.

My husband and I typically have our “date nights” at home on Friday nights, after our son goes to bed. When we go out for dinner or coffee, we almost always take our son with us. We spend so much time away from him during the week, we both want to spend as much of our evening and weekend time with him as we can. We also have a Young Parents’ (no kids) Supper Club through our church that meets every month or two that we love participating in.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Throughout all my years of graduate school and post-doctoral training, I wondered (and worried) how I would manage an academic career and motherhood. Though I have always felt called to my work, I found it very difficult to put my baby in someone else’s care while I worked. Some days, I still do. However, my financial contribution to our family is essential, and I am grateful to have a job that I really like and that makes a difference in this world.  I have also learned that I am not the only one who can love and care for my child. I have been humbled by and am thankful for the wonderful care he receives from his daycare teachers while I am at work. I also think my husband takes a more active role in caring for our son than he would if I didn’t work full-time. Seeing their relationship if a gift that I never expected.

Oftentimes, I wish for more time with my son and more flexibility with my work. However, I am also aware of how fortunate I am to work on an academic calendar. Also, a teaching institution is a good place for me to be right now. The pressure to achieve here is lower than in other places I’ve been, and unlike many other academics I know, I am mostly able to keep my working hours to 40 per week.

I am very selective in the responsibilities I take on. I don’t say “yes” to every opportunity that comes my way. It’s hard, though, to say “no” and deal with others’ expectations of me. I hope that I am doing enough to pull my weight in my department, to be competitive whenever I apply for new jobs, and to make valuable contributions to my church and community.  

I don’t have much time for hobbies and personal interests. I have a closet full of unfinished sewing projects and a long list of books I want to read… someday!

-What season(s) preceded this one? I completed a postdoc at a large, top-tier research university. While I loved the work I did, I didn’t love the pressure and long hours that went along with it.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I don’t know. I’d like to have more time with my son and more flexibility in my schedule. I’d also like to stay in academics. Maybe I’ll keep teaching. Maybe I’ll find a way to go back to research.

favorite family activity/activities: Snuggling on the couch with blankies and reading books together. Taking walks around our neighborhood, while our son rides in his wagon. Using our new webcam to talk to grandparents and cousins. 

favorite solo activities: reading, walking

sources of inspiration: my husband, my son, good books

best MakeShift moment: My husband was running late to pick up our son, and I had a class to teach. So, I took my son to class with me. To the delight of both my son and my graduate students, I lectured with a baby on my hip! This was very unorthodox at my university! 

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

i remember reading in a counseling textbook at some point during my divinity school education that women are particularly drawn toward mentors — other women who are modeling the kind of lives we want to lead. the theory is that in order to make up for a part of ourselves that is not yet fully realized, we integrate others into our identities by our associations with them. we perceive these others to have gifts in the areas where we have deficits. mentors are like the lily pads or resting places that can usher us into the kind of self-improvement that we seek.

i was struck by yesterday’s “mother of invention,” lindsey, who remarked that she’s been looking for “an everything mentor” for some time now. lindsey’s everything mentor would essentially be someone whose life is eerily similar to lindsey’s life, only the mentor would have all of the secrets to the holy grails of balance and wholeness. since, as lindsey laments, this “everything mentor” doesn’t seem to exist, she has resorted to filling her life with a variety of positive people and following her own instincts when it comes to shaping a life for herself.

i too searched my external world for models of balanced motherhood that were custom-made for the parameters of my life. in the absence of this model, i decided to start this blog by way of constructing my own. secretly i hoped that interviewing women of various backgrounds and circumstances would lead me to my “everything mentor,” and help others to find theirs too. but what i’ve learned is what lindsey has also learned: at some point, we just have to trust our own instincts and shape the best lives for ourselves that we can. though there are little gems in each “mothers of invention” feature that can help enhance a mother’s quality of life, it seems that the real inspiration comes when we read about someone who is living comfortably in their own authenticity, and we are inspired to find this self-acceptance and a new level of being real. i love connecting with all of the “mothers of invention” because i am doing what lindsey is doing — surrounding myself with positive people as i walk my particular path.

but enough of this waxing philosophic. let’s have a giveaway! my dear friend, jessa, over at happily home sewn has agreed to make a precious superkid cape for the lucky winner of this contest.

as you can see, the capes jessa sells in her etsy store are custom-made with the initial of the superkid in question and with fabric that fits the personality of said superkid. i love the idea of kids powering through life as they imagine their own heroic potential instead of that of spiderman or superwoman. below are instructions for entering the contest but if you don’t win, don’t fret! jessa has offered to waive the cost of shipping for MakeShift revolution readers who purchase capes from her site. you can take advantage of this discount by using this link to her store.

[update: winner posted here.]

 for one chance to win a custom-made superkid cape:

•  post a comment below, and include the initial of a super kid in your life and what makes him/her super. for example, my super kid, M, has the climbing powers of a monkey!

for additional chances to win a custom-made superkid cape:

• link to this giveaway from your blog (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)
• subscribe to my blog via rss or email (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)
• follow themsrevolution on twitter (leave your twitterID in a comment below)
• follow my blog on google friend connect, which is located on the sidebar and WAAAY down to the right (tell me you’ve done so in a comment below)

be sure to include your email address in your comment (will not be published) so that i can contact the winner. the contest will end at midnight on tuesday, may 4th.

living situation: I live with my husband of four years and our daughters – Christina (3), Rebecca (1 year, 9 months), and Allison (5 months). (These are, of course, their online secret identities, but the names are close enough.) We bought a house five years ago before we married, and wound up with one much bigger than we’d planned. Luckily, it turns out we were able to fill it pretty quickly.

occupation: In addition to being a manager, wife, and mom, I am a full-time attorney, doing primarily transactional and non-adversarial work.

how do you structure your time and space? I do this in pretty much the same way working fathers have for many years. I returned to work quickly (six to seven weeks) after my children were born, and I have a nine to five job with a commute. Though lawyers often work long hours, I leave at five and manage the work by bringing much of it home to do after my girls are in bed. 

My girls all go to the same day care near our house, in a small town. We’ve never had a single problem with the center, and the kids love it. Our oldest is getting a preschool curriculum there now. My husband works slightly earlier hours than me, and is able to pick them up and bring them home each day.

I’m not cut out to be a stay-at-home-mom. I need to be on the go. One of the things our marriage depends on is a certain equality – we both work to support the family, and we both parent. Though those roles are different at different times, we take them relatively equally (except that he doesn’t have to carry a breast pump wherever he goes, which is totally not fair).

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? The biggest challenge is that I’m very tired all the time. When there’s too much to do, sleep is sacrificed. I’d compare it to the holiday season — it’s run run run, all the time. There is so much to do and so little time, and I’m always working on a clock and a to-do list. However, it’s also just full of fun, and happiness, and sparkles, and candy, and hugs. Every time I come home feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus and thinking about all I have to accomplish that night, I get tackled and swarmed by two toddlers who just want to love on me, and I hear baby giggles. My husband pulls dinner (which I made the night before) out of the oven, and all is right with the world. 

-What season(s) preceded this one? Our previous season began when my husband and I, after six years together, finally grew up and put things in order. I moved to be near him in 2004, we bought a house and got engaged in 2005, got married in 2006, and then were pregnant within 2 months. 

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m hoping more of the same, though with a bit more sleep.  I wouldn’t mind the pace slowing as the girls get more independent and need my help less. I’ll be glad to fill any extra time with sleep and things I want to do for myself, and I’m looking forward to knowing my girls as people instead of babies. I think I’ll get to see a little more of the old, pre-kid me, and I’m looking forward, ironically enough, to sharing that person with the kids.

favorite family activity/activities: I love Friday nights, when we make chicken fingers and watch movies to celebrate the start of the weekend. My husband and I drink a couple of beers, the girls rocket around the room and beg for “dark sauce” (teriyaki) for their chicken, and then everyone collapses. I can’t wait until they’re old enough to help pick a movie that we can all enjoy. (Well, I did enjoy “The Princess and the Frog”… the first ten times!) 

I also love giving the girls bubble baths. We have a huge garden tub, and have never owned a baby tub. I just bring them in with me, taking turns. We use high-end bath products, and I condition their hair and let them use sparkle lotion. My girls ALWAYS smell great! 

favorite solo activities: more bubble baths, but alone; blogging; reading sci-fi and fantasy novels; the lore and novels of the World of Warcraft, a game my husband loves; keeping up with old friends on Facebook; dreaming of hobbies I wish I had. 

sources of inspiration: I’ve been searching for a Everything Role Model for a while now – a woman with a professional career who worked while her children were babies, has a stable marriage and three or more kids, and who still looks good and manages to sleep once in a while. I can’t find her. 

So instead I get inspired by my mom, who does a million things and looks great while doing them; my father, who taught me about work ethic; my husband, who can take anything in stride, even being mobbed by toddlers; my boss, who is what we call a Zen Master; and my paralegal, who never stops smiling and has enthusiasm for everything. I just need to surround myself with positive people, and positive things will keep happening.  

best MakeShift moment: When my youngest was a month old, she had a case of the sniffles and a cough, which turned into a respiratory arrest in the emergency room. She spent six days on a respirator in the pediatric intensive care unit at the children’s hospital and four more days in a regular room being weaned off oxygen. (Her official diagnosis was non-RSV bronchiolitis — basically, a bad baby virus).  

I had two toddlers at home 40 minutes from the hospital, a very sick new baby, the responsibility of pumping to keep up the milk supply until she could nurse again, terrible cold weather, plans to work from home on maternity leave, and the holidays to contend with. This could have really sucked. 

Instead, it wasn’t so bad. After the arrest, I was just so on top of the world that Allison was alive and going to be okay that nothing else seemed to matter. So that Alison wouldn’t have to be alone, my  husband and I trucked the older girls to and from the hospital in their pajamas while we switched out shifts. The situation was rough on them, so we did whatever it took to keep them happy, including letting them wear tutus everywhere.

I spent almost every night in a chair at Allison’s bedside (including New Years’ Eve), pumping every two hours and holding her hand every time the hospital staff had to do something to her. My work assistant brought me boxes of files for review so I’d have a productive way to spend time (and earn money) while I just played the waiting game. My husband and I changed out clothes and phone chargers and toiletries and hardly saw one another for a week and a half, except in the parking lot of the hospital. 

And it was really okay. We just camped out and powered on through, and Allison came home alert, healthy, and a pound and a half heavier than when she’d gone in. (If you did nothing but sleep for a week and have food pumped into you, wouldn’t you gain weight too?) 

[check out www.highheeledmom.com for more  of lindsey’s musings on motherhood and life.]

first name: Sharon

age: 40 (really?!)

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with Scott, my husband of almost 16 years, and our daughters Madeleine (12) and Sophie (9). Our furry children, Millie and Henry, are portuguese water dogs.

occupation: stay at home mom and part time student

how do you structure your time and space? On weekdays, I get up around 6:45 to help get the kids out the door for school. Tuesdays and Fridays are typically days to go to the grocery and make my all-time-favorite Target run. To some, my days may sound rather mundane, but I am never bored. There is never enough time in the days and weeks! I have recently come to understand myself as the CEO of my home. This realization gives me great pleasure, and in a strange way, I feel rather powerful. My kids adore their father, and he is hands-on and helpful, but they usually come to me with their needs and concerns. Maybe Madeleine and Sophie rely on me for everything because I am their fellow female. But Scott relies on me too! I find myself saying things such as, “No, I do not know where you put your wallet!!!”

I try extremely hard each week to make sure I am taking care of me in some way while my children are at school and Scott is at work. Once they get home, it’s all about them. I allow myself an hour each morning to have my coffee and watch the Today show. I am enrolled part time at University of Memphis, where I am working on my Bachelor’s degree in Child Development. Going to school has given me the opportunity to use my brain for something other than managing my household, and it has also helped shine a light on my path which has often seemed blurry. I go to a dream-interpretation group once a week with some very wise and interesting ladies. I also attend a study group at my church every Thursday that I can. I also try every week to connect with a friend by having coffee or lunch. I have learned that my friends feed my soul, and in order to stay connected with them, I have to reach out. It’s just that simple. 

Sometimes there are just days I do not have it in me to be a mom. I do not beat myself up about it. My kids are old enough now that they understand when I tell them I just cannot be present at this particular time. I lean on Scott and he comes through for me during these times. I just tell them the truth; I don’t dance around it. I think my kids appreciate that about me. I think I am teaching them how to speak up and say out loud what they are feeling. I hope I am teaching them the value of verbally expressing their needs. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I have felt for quite some time now that I am in between the seasons of winter and spring. I can see the buds of new growth. I can smell the new air. I can hear the birds making their way back, but I am just not quite there. It’s a wonderful place to be but it’s also frustrating. I feel this overwhelming sense of something I just cannot give a word to.  I know that there is a new path for me that goes beyond motherhood. I can feel it. But, I still don’t know what it is, and that is very frustrating. I am so envious of women who know exactly what their gifts are and how to share them with the world. I know being in school is the right path, but sometimes I wonder what in the world I am doing! I am trying to discern what my spiritual gifts are and allow my spirit to guide me. 

My daughters are growing up both physically and emotionally. Madeleine is twelve and her hormones are surging. She is having a tough year at school and that just breaks my heart. I am finding that watching my girls grow up so very quickly is taking quite a toll on me emotionally.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before this season, I was in a dark and gloomy winter. I struggled with depression in my twenties and thirties, but the past few years have brought a different struggle that has been just as painful as depression. My health took a strange and frightening turn. My kids were going through all sorts of new phases that were no fun at all. My marriage was going through growing pains. Part of my family moved back to Memphis which brought about all sorts of new and unexpected challenges. But, I’ve come to realize that it is during these hard times when I learn something new about myself. I make it to the other side and feel a sense of accomplishment, and I also feel just a bit wiser.

favorite family activity/activities: We love our girls. We love taking them on trips. We love taking them to Broadway shows at the Orpheum. We love listening to all their stories. They are our inspiration. We look at them sometimes and cannot believe our love made these two fabulous beings. 

favorite solo activities: I love to read, see movies, and travel, but my favorite pass time is enjoying time with friends and family. Scott and I both love to cook and eat, so any time we are with friends and family, it involves yummy food. We also really enjoy wine and love coming across a fantastic $12 bottle! Scott and I live a quiet life. We spend most of our time with each other. We love to go on dates. We try to have date night every week.

sources of inspiration: Besides my daughters, I am inspired by women who know who they are and what they want. I am inspired by my mother-in-law who is the wisest person I have ever known. I am inspired by my mother who never ever complains. I am inspired by my very eclectic group of girl friends. I am inspired by nature in particular trees and birds. I am inspired by people who always see the glass half full.

best MakeShift moment: I am sure this is not all that creative but it is a memory I have that always makes me smile.

When Madeleine was a toddler I could not provide enough entertainment for her. She was always ready to play! This was exhausting! There was a day that I just needed her to be occupied with something other than me. I gave her all my makeup, and for one whole hour she sat in the middle of our porch in the backyard and covered her little body from head to toe with lipstick, eyeliner, shadow, blush, and powder. It took forever to wash it all off, and I feel certain there are still make up stains on that porch to this day.

We do not need to personally entertain our children all of the time!  Just give them a box of makeup and let their imagination take over!

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

first name: Beth

age: 35

current state: North Georgia

living situation: I live with my husband and our two daughters, who have recently turned seven and four. We live in a 1960’s brick house on a street with big trees and old neighbors. Our other family members are a miniature dachshund and a terrier.

occupation: public school reading teacher

how do you structure your time and space? I taught elementary school full-time until our first child was born. At that point, I began a job-sharing arrangement with another teacher. I teach four hours each morning, working with students who are performing below grade-level in reading. I feel a strong calling to my vocation as a teacher, and I enjoy maintaining a professional identity in a job that I love while also being present for so many of my girls’ day-to-day activities and experiences. It’s an unusual situation for a public school teacher, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to structure my job in this way. Practically speaking, my type-A, list-making self loves knowing that, five mornings a week, I can go to my classroom, prepare for my teaching day in relative quiet, and spend the next few hours immersed in quantifiable tasks that do not involve quibbling over who got more Goldfish crackers or why we can’t watch another episode of Curious George. 

My older daughter is in first grade now, and my younger daughter attends preschool at our church for the hours that I’m at school each morning.  Before they were in school and preschool full-time, the girls were cared for by several wonderful sitters in home daycare settings. My husband’s schedule as a museum director is more flexible than my own, so he does the morning school drop-offs and is the usual parent to stay at home when the girls are sick. Our afternoons are fairly unstructured. The girls participate in church choir and gymnastics, but we otherwise spend a lot of time after school riding bikes on the driveway, playing with friends, and enjoying downtime. Errands, cleaning, the grocery store, et cetera are done mostly on weekends, or in snatches of available time during the week. We have always put our kids to bed early at night, and I relish the several hours of “me” time this affords me on most evenings.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I suppose this is spring for me, in both the literal and metaphorical sense. I feel like I have finally emerged from the often exhausting and isolating winter of having infants and very young preschoolers, and it feels good to be in the warmth and sunshine with children who are a tiny bit less dependent on me for their every need. We are at a stage as a family when it’s possible to do more activities together. No one requires naps or diaper changes these days, and the increased maturity and longer attention spans of our children are allowing us to enjoy lots of fun pastimes and events that were not possible even a year ago. 

Professionally, I have more energy for teaching than I did during my girls’ baby and toddlerhoods. I feel increasingly confident in myself as a teacher, and I love having an opportunity to positively affect the lives of my students by helping them become better readers. In working part-time, I definitely do struggle with the demands and balancing act of teaching and home life. There are days when I feel as if I’m not doing either of my jobs as well as I’d like, but I guess that can be said for most careers!

-What season(s) preceded this one? The season of having two very small children was a difficult one for me. While I loved so many aspects of being present for my girls in their early years, I also experienced the stress of feeling like someone needed something from me nearly every minute of the day (and night!). 

Going from one child to two was a challenge for me as I learned to balance the needs of two kids with my teaching job, and also struggled to find a few moments in the day for myself. I experienced a period of mild postpartum depression following the birth of my second child. She was a fussy, high-needs baby, and so very different from my “easy” first child. It was emotionally painful for me to have a baby whom I often could not comfort. Thankfully, she mellowed considerably as she grew (and medication for reflux also helped), but there were some dark moments for both my husband and myself during the first few months of parenting two children. 

Seasonally speaking, I feel like we were in a period of late fall.  The vibrant, colorful leaves of expectation were off the trees, and the reality of cold winter months set in for us.

-What season(s) might your future hold? In many ways, I feel like the next season is one of uncertainty, though not in a negative sense. I know that I will return to teaching full-time, but I don’t yet know when that will be. My hope has always been to be at home part-time until my children are in school. Suddenly, that time is sooner than later, as my younger daughter will begin kindergarten a year from this fall. The state education budget continues to shrink by the minute, and this is stressful in terms of teacher employment security. Coupled with these factors is the question of whether or not we will have a third child, and how that dynamic (logistically and financially) would affect my teaching plans and our lives as a whole. Despite the uncertainties, I am hopeful and excited about the season to come. We are settled in a town, jobs, schools, and a church that we love, and it feels good to think that we could be in this setting for many years.

favorite family activity/activities: spending time together outdoors (playing in the yard, hiking at local parks, bike rides), involvement in our church, reading together, enjoying the arts and musical opportunities that our town offers

favorite solo activities: photography, reading, blogging and blog-reading, time and connection with friends and family members

sources of inspiration: Professionally, I have a lot of gifted teaching mentors and role models. I’m also inspired by the students I work with at an after-school program for at-risk children. Most of them are first generation Americans and are struggling against a variety of factors to obtain the educations that they hope will give them opportunities in this country and in life. Personally, I’m inspired by other mothers who are honest and brave enough to admit that parenting, while unbelievably wonderful, is also full of moments in which you wonder why you ever got yourself into this madness in the first place!

best MakeShift moment: During the first few months of my younger daughter’s life, she needed to be held/nursed/worn in a sling constantly in order to be somewhat content. By evening on most days, I was at the end of my rope just as she reached her fussiest time of the day. One night, in an act of desperation, I placed the baby, tummy-down, on a towel on the dryer as it was running. Magically, she stopped wailing and settled. From that night on, my husband and I took shifts each evening sitting in the laundry room with our “drying” baby. He read several books, and I mostly sat and enjoyed the hum of the dryer and the absence of crying. After a few nights, we realized it would be safer (though we never left her unsupervised) to place the baby in the laundry basket. There, she cozily enjoyed her hours on the gentle cycle while we cherished a few precious moments of peace and quiet.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]

first name: Cyndi

age: 40

first name: Emma

age: 31

first name: Mary

age: 27

current city: Denver, CO (hometown Memphis, TN)

living situation: I live with my (soon to be) five year old son, Wally, and my boyfriend, Jeff. 

occupation: As of now, I’m a mom and student. My photography degree is collecting dust. I hope that medical school is in my near future.

how do you structure your time and space? For the first years of marriage and motherhood, I found myself feeling guilty for wanting personal time and space; I thought the world would stop if I took 90 minutes of the day to enjoy myself in a yoga class.

Now that I have broken that bad habit, I never feel satisfied with what I choose to do in my free time. There are so many things to be done! Even if I spend half the day cleaning, I can think of a million things I could have done instead. The worst is when I am playing with Wally, and I feel like I should be doing something else. It’s really not fair for him or me. I haven’t quite figured out how to manage MY time. Taking in each moment and being thankful for each moment is what I am working on.

One of many things that I tried giving up for lent was bad thoughts. It’s really easy to let those thoughts in when I am having a bad day or am overly tired, but I have made a conscious effort to acknowledge those thoughts as just thoughts and let them pass. This helps me enjoy the moment that I am in. I’ve started trying to meditate for 30 minutes in the mornings and evenings. In the morning meditations, I allow my “What-Ifs” and “Shoulda Woulda Coulda’s”, to come in, just to give those thoughts a time and place in my stream of consciousness. The evening meditation is MUCH more difficult; I try very, very hard to let all thoughts go in one ear and out the other. If I don’t allow myself that time, I will spend hours in bed over-analyzing everything!

We recently moved to Denver, and Wally’s schedule was changed the most. In Durango, he was in a full day preschool program. Now, he is in a part time play-based pre-kindergarten program. I wish he were in a longer program, but I am always amazed at what he teaches me at the end of the day. I hope he will be going to an expeditionary style school next year, which uses the teachings of Outward Bound. (I think it is especially tailored to high energy boys.)

I feel best when I am elbow deep in some concoction I’m making in the kitchen. I spend most of my day in the kitchen. Cooking presents so many possibilities! I am working on perfecting mozzarella right now for our pizza nights, and I’m trying my hand at crackers.

I am seriously considering going to medical school. This notion has been a small voice within in me for years, and it has only gotten louder. It has taken me years to gain the self-confidence to own this medical school dream. I’m older, with a child, and I know I want more children in the future. Is it okay to sacrifice a few years of being the active kind of mother I am now? Whethor or not I could cut it in medical school is no longer the question. Now it’s about deciding what I really want for my future. Is it really possible to have it all?!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? A challenge in this season is accepting that it takes time to regain structure after a change. In our recent move, I had hoped that all would fall into place and that things would calm down. I guess they have in some ways. I do have a much clearer idea of how I want to live out the rest of my life, what I want for my family, and how I want to spend my time.

-What season(s) preceded this one? Before my current season, I had seven years of hibernation and feeling lost. I built a cocoon around myself and let things happen without being fully engaged (marriage, giving birth, moving across the country, getting divorced, finally finishing school, finding my love, and moving again). I am just now realizing that I was probably dealing with depression while living my life at warp speed. I never felt like I had a grip on things. But, life has finally slowed down (or I am getting used to warp speed), and things are much clearer. I wouldn’t change how my life has panned out; I’ve learned a lot and still keep discovering parts of myself. Where I am currently in my life feels perfect! I feel like I finally have a handle on everything!

-What season(s) might your future hold? Full fledged spring: a time of growth, renewal, a new spring in my step, and shedding skins.

Favorite family activity/activities: Friday night is pizza-and-a-movie night. I make enough pizza dough for about 4 pizzas. Some nights, friends will come over, and other nights it’s just the family. I really love that we have made a family tradition into it and that it is an open invitation for our extended family to take part. Wednesdays are breakfast-for-dinner nights. I love those nights, also. 

favorite solo activities: imagining, creating, reading, taking in the sunshine, gardening, and being quiet

sources of inspiration: My grandparents. My grandfather was a doctor, but never let go of his creative, artistic side. He currently has a wood workshop, and he had a metal workshop and a darkroom for many years. My grandmother has a painting studio.  My grandfather loves digital photography and Photoshop, and neither of them has ever put down the paintbrush! My biggest issue with figuring out what I want to be when I grow up is finding that balance of left and right brain activities. My grandparents are the epitome of that balance.

Wally is also an inspiration to me. I would not be the person I am today with him.

Jeff keeps me grounded. I have an enormous amount of friends and family who offer 100% support to every, single idea that I have. Jeff offers that same support but he knows me well enough to know when one idea probably isn’t the best (law school, for example). 

My mom was a pioneer makeshift mom. Some of her makeshifting may not have been the best ideas (see below). She never seemed to be worried about the latest trends in parenting.

best MakeShift moment: I’ll tell you my worst! When I was in kindergarten, my mother would send me to school with a bottle in my lunch box. My brother was bottle feeding, and I guess my mom didn’t have any drink containers for me. I would get made fun of by the sixth graders! I called my mom everyday saying I had a tummy ache. Lesson learned: Don’t send elementary-aged children to school with bottles!

If I am making dinner and Wally is bored, I’ll give him a bowl of water with food coloring and expired herbs, he’ll spend hours making potions and spells.

I do most of my school reading on the toilet, while Wally is in the bathtub. When he was younger, he never had a real crib (just a pack and play), or his own room, or a chest of drawers. He lived in the living room and his clothes were in a little nook on the bookshelf. We also didn’t have a chimney, so for Wally’s first Christmas, I drew and cut out a chimney and hung up stockings on the faux fireplace.

[if you know someone who would make a good “mothers of invention” feature, check out the nomination process detailed on the sidebar pages to the right.]