name: Catherine

age: 32

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband Blake; our two boys, Jack (five) and Will (18 months); our Springer Spaniel Bessie; and last but certainly not least, Fred, our friendly squirrel who lives in the front yard. He makes it into all of Jack’s family portraits.

occupation: I work four days-a-week at an all-boys school as the seventh and eighth grade counselor. I love my job, and I love my schedule. It allows me to have the joy of professional fulfillment and adult time, as well as that extra day “off” to be a mom, help at my child’s school, have play dates, run errands, and enjoy some time to myself. Am I busier on my “day off” than the days when I work outside of the home? Yes. Always. 

how do you structure your time and space? We are pretty regimented around our house just because that’s how things work best for us. Perhaps this explains the stresses we had this summer with no schedule! Multi-tasking is definitely the key to our household. I’m not good with clutter, so I’m pretty anal about keeping things neat most of the time. While this is great in some respects, I will say that by 7:15 when all of the small people in my house are snug in their beds, I nearly always melt right into mine.

Our daily routine typically involves my heading to the gym first thing at 5:15ish and arriving home at 6:35 to little people slowly waking up. My husband showers while I start working on kids’ lunches. By 7:25, we are all dressed and mostly fed, and I am ushering everyone out the door, always with a Diet Coke in my hand and an extra one in my purse for later.

My husband is incredibly helpful with everything involving the boys and household chores. There’s no doubt, we couldn’t make it without him. Our nights right now are a little stressful only because he is working late each night. That means that the kids are pretty bored with me and are anxiously for dad to be home regularly for dinnertime soon.

But, typically dinner is at 5:30 with baths shortly after. We play games or read books, and then bedtime it is. I’m not good with any chores after the kids go to sleep. I always hear moms say that’s when they do household chores. Nope, not me. I’m totally done for the day, except maybe some bad reality TV and the latest US Weekly.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? As many mothers would say, a lot of my highlights turn into challenges quickly – especially around the four o’clock hour. The highlights are certainly the innocence Jack exudes when he’s so excited about new experiences and meeting new people. I love feeding into all of that by just being silly and surprising the boys constantly. Some of the highlights are also messy and involve spaghetti explosions or finger painting with ice cream. It’s fun, and hey, it all washes off pretty easily.

Currently, I’m most challenged by/with my “Crazy Will,” as Jack calls him. He’s pretty head-strong, and when he’s unhappy, he’s very unhappy. My challenge comes at the typical witching hour when I’m just worn out. With Blake working late lately, the afternoons seem looonng. He’s also not sleeping through the night right now, so that’s an added bonus. On a positive note, today was a good day, and who knows what tomorrow will bring. It’s funny to me because the day can change so quickly with little guys. I’m certainly much more flexible than I used to be, and I even surprise myself with how things that used to bother me no longer do. I think that’s just a part of motherhood and having to “roll with the punches.” That’s also what makes it a lot of fun!

-what season(s) preceded this one? The past few months have been pretty stormy. With some family medical issues, frustrations dealing with a major construction project, and job stress, I sort of felt deflated ending the summer. I honestly wondered how I would muster the energy to start the school year well. Thankfully, it’s been an incredibly smooth transition. Things fell right into place as they usually do. I have felt rejuvenated by new students and fun colleagues at work, my kiddos have loved their new classrooms and teachers, our family health issues are going really well, and the housing project is moving along rather smoothly. So, do I wonder if the wheels are about to fall off? Maybe just a little but I’m enjoying the smooth ride while I can. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? I think our immediate future holds a lot of busy months that would normally seem stressful, but given all of the plans and projects we have, (and how well they are going right now!!!) I’m just excited about it all. I feel like we are going to have more fun each and every day as Will gets older and can communicate more effectively. Of course, I’m realistic and know it won’t all be rosy, but I do feel hopeful. I think I usually have a negative view of winter because it limits our outside activity, but I’m really looking forward to all the excitement that the next few months will bring. 

 favorite family activities: being silly!!! anything outside, lots of swimming, eating dinner on the patio, dance parties in the kitchen, going to the lakehouse and beach, and Jack and I especially love baking!

favorite solo activities: working out, having wine on the patio while listening to beachy music, reading magazines, planning creative projects that I sometimes start and rarely finish

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by music, my friends, people who are genuinely happy and peaceful, and artists (more specifically painters). When I’m down, my husband inspires me. We are very much each other’s yin and yang.

best MakeShift moment: One of my favorite things about nursing was the ease and convenience of it all. I remember being out all day and not having to pack bottles, and I just thought that was such a blessing. I really hate packing diaper bags! I selfishly loved that it allowed our schedule to be incredibly flexible. I never would have thought about how nursing would actually make things easier, but it certainly did for us.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Jennifer

age: 33

current city: Bartlett, TN

living situation: We’re happily living in a suburban house, surrounded by awesome neighbors, shopping, school, and extended family. I live with my high school boyfriend, who smartly married me in 1997; our older daughter, Grace, who was born in 2002; and our younger daughter, Paige, who was born in 2004. Because I have allergies, we have no pets (unless you count the stuffed animals that seem to multiply faster than bunnies). By the grace of God, I have been able to keep a few houseplants alive, and the children as well.

occupation: I am currently a full time mother and wife. 

how do you structure your time and space? I love organizing my home and the feeling I have from knowing it is clean. Strangely, when I am the most stressed, my floors are the cleanest. Vacuuming helps me work through problems. Plus, it is great exercise! I am a big list-maker. I even have lists of my lists! One of my favorite apps on my android phone is the one for lists. I’d be totally lost without it.   

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Since my husband is a meteorologist, it seems appropriate to describe our seasons in weather terms. I would say that I’m now in a calm season. I recently “retired” from my job as a Director of Youth Music in a church. Although I loved working outside of the home and was pretty good at what I did, I always had a sense of guilt that I was neglecting my children and husband. I felt as if I couldn’t do anything to the best of my ability while juggling so many things at once. It wasn’t an easy decision for me, and I feel as if I’m giving up a part of my identity and passion, but I know it was the best for us at this point in our lives.  

I feel blessed that we’re financially okay to do without my paycheck, and I owe much of that credit to Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace principles. We’ve been following Dave’s teachings for almost ten years, and it has been such a blessing for our marriage and family. 

I love that my children are so much more independent at ages five and eight. They can go to the bathroom by themselves, get a snack if they’re hungry, help with housework, entertain themselves, et cetera. I’m not a slave to their tummies, bowels, or nap schedules. I love that they can carry on conversations like little adults. It is neat to glimpse the people they are growing up to be.     

-what season(s) preceded this one? The last season was stormy. It was stressful juggling work and family and never quite meeting the expectations for either. I couldn’t fully enjoy things because I was worried about how I was going to tackle the next week’s schedule, project, event, holiday, meal, load of laundry, et cetera. It was exhausting. We were fortunate that the church where I worked had one of the best preschools in the area, so both of my children were able to attend preschool while I worked about 30 hours per week. It was difficult on holidays and breaks, though, trying to find a sitter or take them with me to my office. And it never failed that during my busiest times, one of my children would catch strep throat, have an ear infection, break an arm on the swing set, or get a chicken tender stuck up her nose. Yes, you read it right.  A chicken tender up her nose. We’re still not sure why she thought to put a piece of poultry in her nose on the day of a big concert at church. We’re just grateful that the pediatrician was able to get the chunks of chicken out without a trip to the ER, and I’m especially grateful to my husband who took her to that visit without me because I had to be at the concert. 

I can’t believe how quickly my children have grown up and I feel like I missed the opportunity to truly enjoy it because I was so stressed over all the things I thought I had to get done. In hindsight, I wish I’d not been such a perfectionist and just enjoyed the precious stages they were in. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? This fall marks a huge change for our family since both girls are in elementary school all day (kindergarten and third grade). I look forward to volunteering at their school. I might substitute teach there for some extra income. It will be nice to have the flexibility and freedom. I’m looking forward to enjoying the moments more, not worrying about things as much. Perhaps, when my children are older, I’ll return to directing music, because I did enjoy it, but for now I’m content and very blessed

 favorite family activities: swimming, playing wii together, dates with my husband, and  random Mystery Trips to surprise my children (ice cream, snow cones, movies, swimming, Levitt Shell, Memphis Zoo, Dollar Store, library, nature walks, concerts, et cetera)

 favorite solo activities: reading, catching up with friends and family on Facebook, shopping, and finding bargains.

source(s) of inspiration: God, my mom and dad, my siblings, my friends, and my wonderful husband. 

best MakeShift moment: Our Toy Jail has helped cut down on my children’s clutter. We remind the kids once (okay, maybe twice) before bedtime to make sure their things are put away. If the toys are left out, we simply put the toys in Toy Jail (a laundry basket at the top of the closet). 

If the kids have a clean day and/or have been helpful, they’ll get to pick one or more things from the Toy Jail. When the jail gets full, we throw away or donate toys. It teaches them responsibility for their things, we don’t have to nag, clean-up isn’t a battle, and our house pretty much stays clutter-free. 

I also use “creative descriptions” for things a lot. For example, we have a fluffy brown towel that neither child liked to use after bath time. One time I called that brown towel the “Chocolate” towel, and now they argue over who gets it. The once-coveted soft green towel is now second choice as the “Mint” towel. Go figure. 

jennifer invites you to check out her husband’s amazingly accurate weather website at http://www.memphisweather.net/. 

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: MaryAnn

age: 38

current city: Springfield, VA (suburb of Washington DC)

living situation: I live with my husband Robert and my “blessed trinity” of children: Caroline (age seven), Margaret (almost five) and James (almost three). We have two geriatric cats, Maya and Willy, who’ve been with Robert and me since the beginning of our marriage 16 years ago.

Our neighborhood is classic suburbia in many ways—July 4 block parties and neighborhood yard sales. But it’s also wonderfully diverse. We see women wearing hijab pushing their kids in strollers in our neighborhood, and there are more than 100 languages spoken here in Fairfax County.

occupation: I am pastor of Idylwood Presbyterian Church, Falls Church, VA, and a writer. I just finished a three-year stint as a monthly columnist for Presbyterians Today, our denomination’s magazine, and am one of the founders of Fidelia’s Sisters, an e-zine which is by and for young clergy women. I’ve written for secular publications too; I even had a short piece published in the Washington Post Style section a few years back! And I am working on two book projects, although it fills me with anxiety to say that out loud, because I’m not sure whether they’ll ever get done.

how do you structure your time and space? I work part-time for Idylwood, which is a small congregation. When I tell this to fellow pastors, they usually look at me knowingly and say, “Oh come on, there’s no such thing as part-time ministry, right? You just get paid part-time for full-time work.” I am on a mission to prove them wrong! This is my second call at part-time status. I started out full-time as an associate pastor of a large church seven years ago, and when James was born I asked to move to half-time. The congregation was gracious to make the change. Now I work 2/3 time.

It’s a constant struggle to find the balance. I’ve had to make peace with being the “good-enough mother” and the “good-enough pastor.” But most days, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love the work I do, preaching, teaching and caring for this quirky congregation. Yet my schedule is flexible enough to take Margaret to “tap and tutu” class at the rec center and lead Caroline’s Brownie meeting from time to time. I work shortened days, which allows me to exercise in the mornings and still be homeafter the bus drop off in the afternoon. I work a lot of evenings too.

I have an office at the church, but I do a lot of work in my home office. It’s located in our dining room, which we converted into a creative space/study several months ago. In fact, I named my blog “The Blue Room” in honor of this room. You can read more about it here.

Our childcare situation is a dream come true. A neighbor who used to teach preschool began a daycare in her basement when her own daughter was born. She follows a curriculum but it’s more relaxed with the feeling of being at home. She’s half a block away, which makes mornings and evenings much less stressful. My mother lives downtown, which allows Robert and me to have date night a few times a month.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Our family is settling into what the church calls “ordinary time.” It’s not one of the high holy seasons, such as Christmas or Easter—things are just trucking along, and that’s OK. Green is the symbolic color of this season, implying growth, so I associate ordinary time with the summer months. We’re enjoying our kids at their current delightful stages of development, we like our jobs, our house feels like “home,” et cetera.

-what season(s) preceded this one? We’ve been through a lot of transition, which I associate with spring—planting seeds, watering and weeding, et cetera. There’s a lot of beauty in the spring but a LOT of work as well (so I’m told—I don’t garden, it’s enough to keep our kids and cats alive, and I can’t handle anything else!). I’ve been at my job almost a year, and my husband recently changed jobs as well, and that creates stress. Also, our kids manage to pick up every petty illness, fever and cold that’s out there, and they are NEVER sick at the same time. One gets better and the other one catches it. So our normally well-run household has been off the rails for several months.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Even as I live in the moment and try not to speed along my kids’ growing up, I admit I’m ready to get past the constant physical exertion of having young children—dressing them, feeding them, wiping their butts when they poop. I will not miss diapers and sippy cups.

That said, I know from parenting our second grader that the needs are still there as they age; in fact these needs only get more complex (homework, juggling activities, relationships with friends, et cetera). We don’t over-program our children but I’m a little freaked out to think about how I will get them from place to place. Even one activity a week per child adds up when there are three of them! However, I love watching our kids grow more and more fully into themselves. I guess I’m doing that too.

favorite family activities: We love to go downtown to do the DC stuff: museums, the zoo, pedal boating in the Tidal Basin next to the Jefferson Memorial. This summer we lived at the pool. We’ve started doing more hiking, with a recent trip to Shenandoah National Park. We eat dinner together most nights, but Sunday night is family night, which for us means a pizza “picnic” in the basement while watching a TV show everyone likes (currently Mythbusters). 

favorite solo activities: Reading, lunch with friends, blogging, wandering around downtown DC, visiting a museum, getting a massage or pedicure. My morning walk is really important to me. I’ve recently gotten into the online courses through the Abbey of the Arts which is a great outlet and something I can manage with my schedule.

source(s) of inspiration: I am inspired by artists whose lives and work speak of simplicity, wholeness and authenticity. David Wilcox’s music never ceases to inspire me, and Carrie Newcomer has provided my life’s soundtrack for almost 15 years. Mary Oliver’s poetry is a great inspiration, especially “The Journey,” which is a personal mission statement of sorts.

best MakeShift moment: Parenting is one big improvisation, no? I call it parenting parkour. There have been many MakeShift moments, but the first one I thought of was seven years ago, when I was being approved for ordination. I had to attend a big meeting of the presbytery (local district of Presbyterian churches) and give a short speech and answer any questions. Caroline was six weeks old, and I knew she would get hungry right when I was supposed to be “on,” so I ended up pumping in the backseat of the car while Robert drove us down the Capital Beltway. I always wondered whether the truck drivers said anything to one another about me on their CB radios…

find maryann on the web at http://theblueroomblog.org/ 

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Andrea Shelton

age: 41 

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband, Joe, my two children Spencer (age 14) and Abby (age 11), three dogs, and one cat. 

occupation: founder/president of a prison ministry called HeartBound Ministries; wife; mother; friend

how do you structure your time and space? Ah, striking a balance and structuring time and space is truly the trickiest part of motherhood! My office is at home, which is, for the most part, a good thing. However, there are moments when business and personal collide, such as when business calls come during dinner or family time.

As for childcare, both of my kids are middle schoolers, so I work like crazy when they are in school (8:45 – 3:45), and I try to focus on being a mom when they are at home. It doesn’t always work, but I try. Sometimes I even incorporate the kids into my work. For example, I’ll strike a deal – they can watch television if they agree to stuff or stamp envelopes! It lightens my load, gives them the opportunity to serve (and be entertained), and allows me to meet their physical needs (food, laundry, and house-cleaning) instead of working in my office.

We’ve all heard the phrase “quality vs. quantity,” and to some extent I think that’s true, but I do think there is a lot to be said for quantity – being physically present in the lives of my children. There were times early in my career as an assistant administrative law judge when I left my son with a nanny three days a week. We were a young married couple trying to save for our first home, so we did what we had to do. But my husband and I have always agreed that if we could financially afford it, I would be home. I’ve been extremely fortunate to have jobs that allowed me to earn a living while working at home. One of my bosses actually allowed me to bring my infant son to work for six weeks until I could find suitable child care! I eventually found a nanny I could share with another family. I continued that scenario until I felt it was financially feasible for me to become an independent contractor and work from home. It’s ALWAYS been my desire to be at home with my kids.

I pray, “Lord, please expand my time,” and He does. If I think too much about how I’m going to get it all done, I can get overwhelmed or sink into a feeling of self-pity. But when I remember that I am gifted with the same amount of hours as everyone else, and I ask God for help, I gain a new perspective.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having a teenage son and pre-teen daughter presents both highlights and challenges, but mostly highlights. I’ve loved every season of being a mom, but I really feel that I’m hitting my stride in the latter years. In the beginning when the kids were little, I was full of insecurities – was I doing it right? Now, I see these two lovely young people who are compassionate, intelligent, and fun, and I think, “So far, so good!” They are really such a pleasure!

Physically, I’ve never felt better. I’ve managed to find the time to work out three days a week for 30 minutes at a local sculpt and burn class. I’m not as tired because my kids sleep! Oh, those early years were exhausting! I’m not exactly sure what I’d call this season – we’re not in “the wonder years” any more. But whatever this season is, I’m loving it. What I’m not looking forward to is “the automobile age.” The thought of putting my beloved children into an automobile (or as my dad called it, when he handed me the keys to my first car, “a killing machine”), is almost too much to bear!

-what season(s) preceded this one? preceded this one? The years past were the wonder years, the sleepless years, the anxious years. While I LOVED being the mom of younger children, most of the time I felt like a crumpled up Capri Sun package on the floor of the car. I had all the juice sucked out of me and the kids just kept saying, “Can we have some more??!” 

-what season(s) might your future hold? “The automobile age” (see discussion above) is in my future, and so are the college years. And as funny as it may seem coming from a 41-year-old, I’m already thinking about grandchildren! Time goes SO fast. I really look forward to seeing my children happily married and starting their own families.

favorite family activities: We love to travel, especially to New York City. We try to get away to NYC at least once a year, usually in the fall. I’ve always liked traveling with my kids so that I can experience things through their eyes. My husband and I aren’t the types to leave the kids behind while we jet-set. We like doing things as a family. Another favorite family time is evening dinner. Having dinner together is a TOP priority in this family. If we miss a few dinners together due to sports, I start feeling disconnected. I believe there are two activities that almost guarantee a healthy family – praying and eating together.

favorite solo activities: working out (the Sculpt and Burn class I attend has been life-changing); tap dancing; scrapbooking

source(s) of inspiration: my faith, my family, my friends

best MakeShift moment: Just this week, I let the dog unroll an entire roll of toilet paper while I triedto help a friend. I used to set up a playpen in the bathroom so that I could shower without wondering if someone would choke, drink poison, fall down the stairs, et cetera. I’ve traded babysitting with friends so that each of us could enjoy a night out with our spouse. I’ll host about anything imaginable for my kids (Wyldlife Club, Girl Scouts, Sunday School parties, sleepovers, Domestic Diva Club), so that I can keep a pulse on what is happening in their lives. I am extremely active in their school – my husband and I have started three clubs there. We want our kids to know that we are invested in their lives and the lives of their friends. Sometimes that takes some juggling, but I believe that investment will reap positive returns. I’m already seeing that in the lives of my kids. Perhaps my best MakeShift moments are the countless times I’ve incorporated my kids into volunteer efforts. It could be anything from packing Christmas boxes for children in need to baking for a bake sale.

Also, I’m willing to give up some things to gain others. For example, I don’t have a house cleaning service. I clean my own home (with the help of my kids and husband), and then I can justify using the cost-savings on eating out with my family once or twice a week, or saving for a fantastic trip. MakeShift moments are often about trade offs – what am I willing to sacrifice for what is REALLY important. So what if my house doesn’t get cleaned in a day? Dinner at our favorite restaurant or a fun weekend in New York are more important to me.

find andrea on the web at http://www.heartboundministries.com/

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

[capri sun image is by kris d’amico]

name: Lane

age: 36

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of 13 years, Brian, our eight-year-old daughter Sophie, and our five-year-old son, Whit.

occupation: I am a Registered Nurse, working full-time at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, where I’ve worked since I completed nursing school 11 years ago. I got my foot in the door on the night shift but took a nine to five outpatient position around the time we wanted to start a family. My current job is in clinical research, which is not very nurse-y, but it is immensely challenging and intellectually satisfying. I assist the MD researchers in collecting, organizing, and analyzing data to answer the questions posed to improve clinical outcomes for our patients and beyond.

how do you structure your time and space? I would call our work-family life “modern traditional.” Our babies were in full-time workweek daycare from four months of age and now have transitioned to school life with full-time on-campus aftercare. Our children have had wonderful caregivers both in daycare and in aftercare, and we are so thankful that we have rarely had to question those choices. We also have very willing, loving, and helpful family in town, and have been blessed again with supervisors and coworkers along the journey who are flexible and understanding when a family’s little hiccups occur. Thankfully, the hiccups have been small and well timed. What good fortune we have had!

We divide pretty much every household task in our family 50/50. Bedtimes and dinner clean-up are alternating nights, hubs does carpool drop-off in the morning and I do afternoon pickup, et cetera. Other tasks are 50/50 in that I never do trash duty, laundry folding, or bug squashing (to name a few things), and he rarely has the weekly grocery job or bill minding. There are some chores that come down to the good old fashioned “Mexican stand off” – how long can one tolerate the dog fur tumbleweeds or ignore clean dishes waiting in the washer before one of us just caves. As they’ve become old enough, our children have inherited some tasks such as setting the table and putting folded clothes in their drawers. The hope is that as they grow, they will help more and more with their share.

There is a lot that just doesn’t get done in a timely manner, or at all!
 
Weekends are packed with errands, play dates, and general “getting-it-done;” I have lists of my lists and delight in crossing things off. I have admitted numerous times that I go to work to relax. We are also experts on anything and everything that can be accomplished/purchased online (and we are ready to support a local internet grocery service, hint hint!!). I think we also do a pretty good job of making sure we each have some time to spend however we choose, no questions asked.
 
When the kids were very small, we thought daily life was pretty hectic (and it was) but school-age has brought a new challenges and adjustments to our well oiled machine (did I mention I was type A?). Strict baby schedules have now relaxed to accommodate swim meets or ill-timed birthday parties, and more and more often we find ourselves splitting the kids and the errands/social opportunities down the middle. We have to juggle changes on the fly more often these days. Fortunately, we manage to have dinner as a family four or five times a week (frozen pizza definitely counts!), a habit that I hope we will be able to maintain as our kids wander farther from our nest. We have a pretty lengthy bedtime routine that strengthens our parent-child connections. Early bedtimes for the kids, and late ones for us allow my husband and me to have some quiet time that often takes the form of multi-tasking in front of favorite TV shows. Growing children also means that we can get out more easily or gather with similarly situated friends and lock ourselves (with the wine) in the dining room while the kids wreak havoc and stay up too late.

Each stage has definitely had its pros and cons.  

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I’ve often felt as if I am a woman transported in time from the Forties or Fifties. I have a vocation that has been historically held by women, and with my love of sewing, baking, and other domestic arts, I wonder if I’m channeling June Cleaver.

 I was raised in an intact traditional home with lots of love and plenty of advantages. (In fact, I recently moved across the street from my parents who still live in my childhood home.) Many of my childhood experiences are being shared almost verbatim with my children (choice of school, church, home, and some human values). I struggle with how to blend the “wholesomey goodness” I knew from childhood with the hard realities of this modern life and the opinions I have developed through study, experience, or happenstance. I am so thankful for the childhood I have known and the family who gave it to me. So why don’t I want to duplicate it completely for my family now that I am a parent? How do I construct a new iteration of family without following the pattern I know? How can I keep my favorite parts without passing judgement on the outdated, abandoned ways?
 
Thankfully I have some great role models around me, but largely I feel out of place in most circles because there’s just enough that is different about my situation that it seems like I’m always asking for exceptions or favors. Could we meet after six o’clock? Can’t we do this by phone instead of in person? May I take a two-hour lunch to “run” home and participate in my child’s class party? Will you have childcare available for this event? I know this is not unique, but in my mind, I always seem to be the one needing something more. I’m getting used to it, and some of these problems are getting easier because other parents with similar conflicts have opened the doors ahead of me, but I think about it a lot.
 
I feel like we have now reached the height of our summer season. Since shedding diapers, sippycups, naps, and the extra luggage that holds them, I feel like a kid who has stashed her school bag in the closet for a nice, long break. Our children are fun, expressive, imaginative, but still agreeable, easily entertained, and most importantly, they still enjoy being around us.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Early motherhood was a long, hard winter for me. Although we joyously anticipated the arrival of our first child, it took me over a year to completely submit to motherhood and the undeniable changes that accompanied it. I realize now that I much prefer my babies talking and self-feeding, thankyouverymuch, and that the post-partum period can last a very long time. Again, work was a refuge for me during this challenging time. I could come home from work and look forward to the time I had with my small children, knowing that I also had time in an adult world. I always knew my personality was not suited for staying home, even though working full time is not easy. Either way, it’s exhausting! Our strictly-defined schedules were simultaneously confining and comforting.

-what season(s) might your future hold? My daughter is approaching the pre-teen/tween stage all too fast. I don’t even want to start thinking about that season. Summer forever! 

favorite family activities: Wii games, board games, crafting, playing outside

favorite solo activities: creative arts of all types, especially sewing and paper crafting; baking when there’s time

source(s) of inspiration: I am constantly stealing ideas for crafts from any source (friends, etsy, lowe’s circular, and boutique clothing catalogs). I suffer from the delusion that I could replicate most beautiful things if I had enough time and money, and the proper tools. Never mind that it’s plagiarism or just not worth the trouble; I just love a creative challenge. 

best MakeShift moment: One day at work I found that I had forgotten to include the very important collection bottles that hook to the breast pump (regarding breastfeeding: I have never been so proud of myself for keeping it up for over six months with each baby, and also so thrilled to quit!). Knowing I couldn’t make it all day without pumping, I snagged some urine specimen cups from the supply cart, rigged them up to the pump, and stayed on schedule. They are sterile, after all! 
 
The first summer after our daughter was potty trained, we worried how this progress would affect the ten-hour drive to and from the beach for our family vacation. (Would we stop every 30 minutes versus every couple of hours?) That year, we packed the plastic training potty in the back and were glad to have it ! Several times, including on an exit ramp in Birmingham just blocks from several gas stations, we pulled out that potty and sat her on it, proud as we could be that Sophie had avoided an “accident”! I can’t imagine trying to help a newly-trained girl “go tee-tee” without giving her a place to sit.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Tootsie Bell

age: 45

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live in Memphis with my wife and partner, Jamie Russell-Bell, and our beautiful nine-month-old son, Miles.

occupation: I am an artist. I make my living predominately as a jeweler/silversmith. I have owned and operated Bell Fine Art Jewelers  for 16 years. And as of recent, I am expanding into the public art forum. I have a piece at the Memphis Brooks Museum of Art, the Memphis Botanic Gardens, and my current project is a sculpture for Legends Park across from the new Le Bonheur Children’s Hospital.

how do you structure your time and space? Ahhhh time and space…..where did you go my friends? It’s really very simple and goes sort of like this: the mornings and evenings are all about family; the time in between is all about work. I have an amazing partner and we both give all that we have to our son. But we also try to do things for each other when we can. We each have our responsibilities, but if one sees that the other is burning out and is about to short circuit, we try to step in and take up the slack and give the other a time out. On the weekends, we alternate who gets up with Miles and who gets to sleep in. And we also give each other the space to get away once a week with a friend or whatever the “me time” requires. I have found that for for both of us, the key is to take that time and make it happen. Luckily, that is getting easier and finally, so is making time for “us”.

I’m a new mother at 45, my child has two mommies, and my partner is the birth mother. These factors also influence how we structure our time and space. If others were to label my role in the family, it would be, in most peoples’ eyes, the role of the father. However, I see it nothing like that. I’m aware that I have more male traits. I am physically stronger, and I take on more traditionally male roles such as fixing the roof, digging fence post holes, climbing under the house to fix the plumbing, and watching football on Sundays. But other than these things, I am in every way a proud, doting, new mother. I have the same nurturing drive, the same emotional response, and the same instinct and bond that my partner does. These traits that come naturally to me are often the ones that male counterparts have to work hard to develop (unfair, as it is) as they struggle with what their roles are, what to do next, or where to fit in to the new scenario. I feel like I’m much more capable of being there for my son and my partner. It’s the law of nature, I guess, and I don’t completely understand it. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what season(s) preceded your current season? The season before this was the ME season. The last 27 years were all about me. I spent a lot of time imagining what my life could be and how I wanted to be defined as an artist. I worked hard to chasing that dream with long hours in the studio, smoking, drinking, painting, sculpting, late late nights, and very little sleep. Then it was easy.

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? My current season is the US season. My life now is about caring for what I have built and who I have become, but most of all, it’s about my family. I was 44 when Miles was born, so I’ve gotten a lot of my needs out of the way. Still, it is definitely a trade off. Having children when you are young, you have the energy it takes to go without sleep and still keep up. Having children when you are older, you don’t have that energy, but you do have the patience and the wisdom it takes to sit still and give them what they need. I spend a lot of time cultivating my home life and trying to live healthy.

Being two mommies has made things easier for Jamie and me, I feel certain. But I know that with the unconventional there are challenges. Our parenting has not been struggle-free by any means. Not being the breastfeeding mother has left me feeling on the outside at times. But for the most part, we have been able to stay more closely on the same page throughout this big life change.

I read this bit of insight somewhere and have made it my primary goal. If I can give my son these four things, then I will know I have done my job: the unselfishness to release him, the vision to encourage him, the faithfulness to pray for him, and the wisdom to be therefor him whenever and wherever that may be. God knows I am willing to do whatever. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? Whatever my next season is, I hope that it’s long and fruitful and full of good times and memories. As an older mother, worrying about whether or not I will be around long enough is a demon I have had to duel on a regular basis.

favorite family activities:  Among my favorite family activities are playing in the pool. I love watching the shear joy that come from Miles as he splashes like a crazy chimpanzee. I also really enjoy going to Music for Aardvarks. Miles loves music and dancing and banging on the drums. But I’d have to say that my absolute very favorite family activity would be family naps and that sweet giggle session that comes after waking. There really is  nothing sweeter in this life.

favorite solo activities: My favorite solo activity would have to be playing music. I played the drums for a little over a year with the band, Giant Bear. It was such a great outlet and amazing experience to be playing with such talented individuals. I miss it dearly, but juggling new motherhood and running my business just doesn’t allow me the time and commitment needed to continue.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Katie

age: 26

current city: Brandon, MS

living situation: In mi casa are my husband (Clayton), seven-year-old football card extraordinaire (Caedon), two-year-old little Dora the Explorer (Addie Kate), and two little pups, Bax and Mack. We live on a golf course in Brandon, MS and love it! We moved here in 2009 so that I could do my photography at home with the fabulous trees and greenery in the background. We are also now  closer to my husband’s work, which offers after school care for my son.

occupation: natural light portrait photographer for Mary Moment Photography

how do you structure your time and space? Structure is my dear old friend who tries to run far away from me despite my best efforts to keep him close at all times! Because I am a natural light photographer, there is no need for me to have a studio outside of the home. However, having an in-home studio makes it difficult to separate family from work. I have created a strict portrait schedule in order to balance my family life with my work life. I used to work every Saturday of the year, and sometimes I would work four to five shoots a day. I had to quickly take hold of my sanity and realize that I was missing a whole lot by shooting so much. I now schedule my sessions so that I shoot Mondays, Fridays, and one Saturday a month. This gives me time for soccer games and birthday parties, and energy for my family when I return from working. My husband also made a very important rule: I cannot shoot and edit in the same day. I used to tend to shoot all day and then edit until midnight. This practice left no time for me to see the fam. I love my husband’s rule! Speaking of my husband, I have an amazing one. He works in pharmacy at a local mental health clinic and is wonderful when it comes to watching the kiddos on the weekends while I am shooting. We put everything on a calendar so we can make sure that he has his free time, I have my shooting time, and we all have family time.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Right now my season is winter. I am in my busiest season and am busier than a bee in a flower garden. My son just started first grade, and I am a room mom and an active PTO member at his school. My son also has soccer, which my husband coaches, so we have practice twice a week along with games every Saturday morning. My daughter is only two, and though she has nothing recreational on the calendar, she still keeps me on my toes! My photography is growing super duper big, and my mom is in her last stages of research with her lung cancer. Right now, I may not be seeing sunshine all the time, but soon comes spring and everything will be bright as daises.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Let’s say I just emerged from fall. This past season wasn’t the best since it is when I found out that my mother has stage three lung cancer. For a little while last season, I had to put a halt on everything that didn’t involve my mother so we could deal with the news and pray and pray for guidance for the future. Also during the time, I shot seven weddings back-to-back. After a season like that, I would say that I felt like falling… so fall it is.

-what season(s) might your future hold?  Never will I EVER say that my future holds a cold season. I believe we will have sunny skies from here on out. From now on, we are going to only allow seasons like the Mississippi summer — bright, sunshiny, and happy! I believe my mom will hopefully have surgery to remove the tumor, my little ones will continue to grow and learn and be amazing people, and my husband and I will keep enjoying our children and loving each other. As for my photography, I leave that up to my clients. I love my clients, and I believe that the harder I work, the more they will come back and bring their friends. My future’s so bright, I gotta wear shades!

favorite family activities: We love taking spontaneous family trips! We love our annual trip to the beach. I have gone every year since I was 12, and my entire family goes, including my siblings, nieces, and nephews. Unfortunately, this past summer was the first time we did not go due to my mother’s illness, but we made a camping trip out of it and enjoyed each other so much! Family is my favorite. I love spending time with my family and seeing my children play with their cousins. It is honestly the best thing ever.

favorite solo activities: I love being an activist. I love raising awareness and funds for Heather’s T.R.E.E., which was founded when I lost my best friend due to domestic violence. I love speaking with young men and women regarding issues that they are facing and how they can get out of harm’s way. My friend was a beautiful, smart, college graduate who had her whole life ahead of her. She was surrounded by the best family and friends. We never dreamed this could happen to her. I believe that if I knew then the warning signs of domestic violence, I could have done something different. If others can know what I know now about the warning signs of domestic violence, maybe they can be saved or save a friend.

katie and heather

Heather also is the reason I am now a photographer. Her name was Mary Heather Spencer, and I created Mary Moment Photography a couple months after her death and several conversations I had with her family. Even before I became a professional photographer, I always had a camera around and took photographs of friends. Thankfully, I have many photographs of Heather and me together. I took one of the photographs at a friend’s wedding, and she said, “You really need to start charging people for this. You’re kind of good at this picture taking thing”. 

After Heather’s death, which was when I was eight months pregnant with my daughter, I realized that life is short, and we must do everything we can to be happy and help our loved-ones to be happy. I am now taking her advice as well making sure that her life and her death are not forgotten. I miss her every day.

source(s) of inspiration: My Mother. My mother is the reason I am who I am. She is the one that started my photography infatuation. She has taken pictures since I was born, and I remember growing up with a camera in my face. Her love for photography and great advice have made me the photographer I am today. Her outlook on life has made me the mother and women I am today. She is currently being treated at MD Anderson in Texas for a possible Lung Cancer removal. She was diagnosed in May of 2010 with stage three lung cancer and  has endured chemo and radiation, pneumonia, and blood transfusions. She has fought this cancer for her children and grandchildren, since we need her so much.  She inspires me to fully live and love life. I want to be the best mom in the world to my children, and it’s all because my mom is the best to me.

best MakeShift moment: This probably… Wait. Let me rephrase. This IS the craziest thing I have ever done, and I hope to never do it again! I had a bride switch her wedding date to a day when I already had another wedding scheduled. I shot both weddings in one day! I had enough time to get from one to the other since one was in the early morning and the other was in the late evening, but I was pushing it! I literally ran from the reception of the morning wedding to get ready for the evening wedding, and I made it just in time! Needless to say I will never do that again but I am proud to say that I pulled it off, and that I loved and enjoyed both weddings. Also, for both weddings, I had amazing second shooting assistants who saved my life. Phew, makes me sweat just remembering it!

find katie on the web:

• photography business: www.marymomentphotography.com
• photography blog: www.marymomentphotoblog.com
• heather’s T.R.E.E.: www.heathersree.org

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Betty

age: 56

current city: Atlanta

living situation: I live with my husband Larry. My daughter Lulu (19) lives with us when she’s not at college. My stepson Tyler (19) just moved back to PA with his mom, and my stepdaughter Lindsay (23) just moved out into her own apartment with her boyfriend.

occupation: I am a writer. I currently run a blog called What Gives 365. Every day for 365 days, I give $100 to causes, people, and organizations that I believe are doing good work and are worthy of support. And every day, I write about why I chose to give– which hopefully will inspire other people to give a few bucks of their hard-earned money, too. I’ve also written two tragi-comic books on motherhood: I’m Too Sexy For My Volvo: A Mom’s Guide to Staying Fabulous! and The Agony and The Agony: Raising Your Teenager without Losing Your Mind.

how do you structure your time and space? I work at home. I’ve converted the third floor bedroom into my writing lair. I love it because it’s far from the kitchen, and I can’t find anything to clean, eat or distract myself with up here – plus I have a great view of the trees. I generally come up here with coffee at about seven or eight a.m. I stay up here writing until I post my blog  (about noon). Then, I’ll go to tennis or just eat something. I return to work during the afternoon and sometimes at night as well. When my kids are home, I’m much less of a workaholic. When they’re not, I’m working pretty much all the time, at least for now.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I guess I’m in autumn. I am winding down in the parental role, having to figure out the next scenario with my husband, figuring out what to do with my talents and abilities in the next stage, wanting to earn money without being a slave to it, and negotiating my independence versus my need for intimacy. I spend time wondering who I am when I’m not a day-to-day mom anymore, and wondering if the best part of life is behind me. As I try to get okay with being older, I wonder if this is the stage of life when everybody starts to die on you. I am happy and often even exhilarated, but I also kind of wait for the ax to fall or the frost to come. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? Summer. It was the end of having the kids living at home. It was a time of a lot of activity, the frenzy of coming changes, sweetness, ripeness, and the sense of things ending. I wanted to hold on and not let go because I knew that things would soon be colder and emptier. I had the feeling of impending loneliness, but with this came a greater appreciation of the beauty of the moment. And there were a lot of episodes of feeling very hot. 

-what season(s) might your future hold? Winter, death, the end. The only good news is grandchildren! But, there is always the possibility of rebirth!!!

favorite family activities: traveling, entertaining, going to movies and college events, watching television, playing board games, going to church, getting together with friends, going shopping or to the movies with my daughter, visiting with my step-kids and seeing them grow, cooking, and talking, and laughing

favorite solo activities: gardening, tennis, reading, visiting with girlfriends and family, writing, traveling, and taking courses at the college where my husband works.

source(s) of inspiration: The New Yorker, the Bible, music, poetry, books, movies, the Internet, nature, my church, other people

best MakeShift moment: For some reason, a couple of years back, my home got chosen to be on the Tour of Homes in Brookhaven  in the “garden” category. Given all the ultra fancy backyards in this area with gobs of landscaping, ours is pathetic – no pool, no grand sculptures, no mazes or topiaries, nada. So my friend and I decided we were just going to go with the kitschy look – and since it was late October, I created a scary haunted house thing with hanging spiders; cobwebs; lots of skeletons; a sitting Freddy Krueger; a dried ice fire pit; creepy lighting; and tons of flowers, haystacks, and pumpkins. It ended up looking really cute and fun — not glam, for sure — but definitely creative, and entertaining, and cool. I was kind of proud of that.

find betty on the web:

• blog: http://whatgives365.wordpress.com/
• the agony and the agony: http://www.amazon.com/Agony-Raising-Teenager-without-Losing/dp/1600940749/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282134454&sr=1-1 
• i’m too sexy for my volvo: http://www.amazon.com/Im-Too-Sexy-My-Volvo/dp/1593375026/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1282135806&sr=1-1

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Elise McKinnon

age: 36 for a few more weeks

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live with my husband, Leonard; daughter, Audrey (age nine); son, Edward (age eight); needy Border Collie/Beagle mix, Dash; perfect cat, Anna; and foster puppy, Sammie.

how do you structure your time and space? Hah! I don’t. Any sense of organization I ever had went right out the window after my children were born. My house is a mess – everyday. Dinner is a surprise every night. Until recently, the only constants in our home were bedtimes, school times (for the kids), and morning exercise for me. In April I returned to work part-time, and I’ve tried to create some structure since then but I have found that the more I try to create a sense of order, the more the cosmos conspire to put a wrench in everything. In general, I do my very best each day to subvert society by refusing to multi-task.  This includes talking on the phone while I drive, doing anything while I eat, ironing clothes while I brush the dog with one foot, or anything else that sacrifices quality for quantity. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? I don’t think I was born to be a mother as some women were – or believe they were. I am an only child, so the sibling dynamic is something for which I have no frame of reference. The bickering, posturing and bartering can make for exasperating background noise, at times. But when they giggle together, and they don’t know I’m listening – that’s music. I love my children, and they surprise and delight me each and every day but my nurturing instincts aren’t always particularly strong. I spend a lot of time lost in the forest and, on the off-chance that I do happen to notice an individual tree, I usually go after it with an axe. So, I spend a lot of time saying, “I’m sorry.” I always said I’d never be one of those mothers who over-schedules her children, but I do love watching Audrey and Edward try new things and discover new talents. Even more than that, I enjoy watching them work hard for things that don’t come easily for them and being there when they succeed. The biggest challenge, and it seems to be getting bigger, is carving out time for Leonard and me to be alone. The best time of my life was when we were dating, and I miss the ability to spontaneously take off for the weekend or just lie around the house doing nothing.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Probably springtime. I loved being single and living alone with everything in front of me. Right after college, I moved to DC and worked on Capitol Hill for several years. It was electric! Most of my circle here in Memphis got married right out of college – something I can’t even imagine having done. I don’t know who I would be if I hadn’t had the opportunity to be just me– not someone’s daughter, wife, mother, et cetera.  When I was single, I felt strong – in bloom – just like spring’s promise.

-what season(s) might your future hold? Today the heat index is 117 degrees, so I can’t think of anything more pleasing than winter. BUT, if we remove the metaphor, what I hope the future holds is a chance to live someplace else. I miss being an easy drive from the beach or the mountains. I would love for my family to live in another country and experience another world-view. 

favorite family activities: going to the beach, hiking, riding bikes, going to the movies, eating out together

favorite solo activities: running, reading, traveling, playing the piano

source(s) of inspiration: good writing, dry humor, and waves crashing on a shore

best MakeShift moment: My life is one gi-normous makeshift moment. I couldn’t possibly narrow it down to one.

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]

name: Maria Bergius Krämer

age: 35

current city: Malmö, Sweden

living situation: I am married with one child, a daughter born in October of 2003.

occupation: Priest in the Church of Sweden

how do you structure your time and space? Both my husband and I work full time, but since my husband is a teacher, his days are shorter and less weird than mine are. I usually take our daughter to school, and he picks her up. In general, he is the primary parent. He is gone way less than I am, has shorter days (almost no evening work) and does not work on the weekends.

Our daughter also is enrolled in the after school program, since school ends at 1:00 p.m. She is picked up at 4:00. Sweden subsidizes this heavily. During her life we have never had to pay more than 150 dollars a month for daycare or kindergarten.

We have always been careful to give each other “own-time”. We see a lot of friends and do things together, but also make sure that both of us spend time on things we enjoy on our own. For example: I am off on Fridays, and even though the personnel at the daycare clearly state that when a parent is off, the child should be too, I have always claimed that time as reading/studying time, and let her be at the daycare center that day. On these days, I tend to pick her up a little earlier, but still. She is happy with her friends, and I get my space.

Since our daughter was four months old, we have always made sure that she is okay with being looked after by others, as long as the evening routine is observed. This has given us opportunities to go out to see movies, et cetera.

Regarding our space, we live in a small apartment right in the center of the city in a bohemian, multi-cultural neighborhood. We moved here when our daughter was four. It was a deliberate choice. Before, we lived in a big suburban semi-attached house with a garden. For many, that must be the ideal place to bring a child up, but not for us. We disliked the commute, which forced us to buy a car; we disliked being away from friends; and most of all, we disliked living somewhere where our child would only encounter one kind of people – semi-affluent ethnic Swedes. So we moved, and living here we are so close to everything that we do not need the car anymore. Our daughter sees different ethnicities every day, plays with friends from Lebanon and Bosnia, and we have a 24-hour pharmacy right around the corner. We had to throw away lots and lots of things to fit into our three-room apartment, but it works, and we are happy here.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This was a tricky one. Our daughter is becoming quite independent. They say that six-and-a-half-year-olds are mini teens, and that is very true. She argues with us, and rolls her eyes and stomps away, but at the same time, she is super inquisitive, helpful, and sweet. I would say I am still in the spring of motherhood. There are new things to be discovered every day, new growth and development. We do creative things, bike all over town, shop, and laugh a lot.

But to be sure, challenges abound too. I think I, along with most mothers, carry a lot of guilt for not spending enough time with our children. And yet, there has to be balance. There are mothers who find fulfilment in spending all of their waking hours (and some of the sleeping ones too) with their children, but I am not like that. And she is not like that either. It is difficult finding your own way when it clashes with many expectations and ideas about what is right. 

-what season(s) preceded this one? We have led a harmonious and peaceful life for quite some time. We found our places and roles after a period of winter, the long and difficult first three months of our daughter’s life. It was difficult getting used to being parents, and she was always ill. Never seriously, just constantly sniffling and coughing and unhappy. But it all changed. Provocatively enough for some, it changed when we stopped breast feeding and taught little baby to sleep through the night in her own bed. I know this is not for everyone, but it saved us.

-what season(s) might your future hold? I look forward to a lot of things. There will be stormy times and peaceful times. Our daughter will alienate herself and hopefully come back. It is all meant to be. I hope there will be a summer, a beautiful season when growth is not as explosive and turbulent as during spring, when there is time for conversation and relaxation and sipping lemonade in the shade. When she is old enough to enjoy being with us just because it is us, not because she has to.

And yes, I look forward to the autumn of motherhood too. Sometimes my daughter claims that she does not want children, and I hope she changes her mind. Whomever she meets in the future, I hope that person will love her as much as I do and give her security and fun and adventure and tenderness.

favorite family activities: We do a lot of creative things together. One day we build a tee pee for our daughter’s barbie dolls. another day, she and I make bead necklaces. The next day she wants our help with the bow and arrow she is making, and we often go to a couple of friends’ houses to play and have dinner. We live a very social life with friends visiting often. We play board games and go to the park.

favorite solo activities: When I am alone, I leave the house to walk the city. I go in and out of stores, gathering inspiration more than shopping, and I sit at cafés and watch people. At night, I am usually found in front of the computer, chatting with friends and reading blogs. Or my husband and I sit in our corners on the couch and read books, every now and then sharing something interesting, while drinking tea.

source(s) of inspiration: I draw inspiration for motherhood from friends, my mother, and the Swedish controversial mothering guru Anna Wahlgren. She is very outspoken, and sometimes I cringe when I read her books, but in many ways we have found that her advice has been sound and helpful.

best MakeShift moment: Sometimes, being a priest puts a lot of strain on families like mine that come from non-churchy backgrounds. It is difficult for our families to understand why I have to work each Christmas and Easter. We, too, want to spend that time together as much as possible, which has caused some interesting solutions to be worked out. One year, when I had enlisted my husband to be a reader in the Christmas midnight mass, we had our daughter sleeping in the vestry (priestly wardrobe). The year after, during the Easter vigil, she slept while we carried her from home, to my office, to the church and all through the vigil (where the organ played at it’s loudest and bells were ringing), and from the service to the Easter party afterwards. She was still asleep when we put her to bed at two in the morning, and had no recollection of it at all the day after. The things poor pastors’ kids are put through! *smiles*

find maria on the web:

• priest girl: http://prastflickan.blogspot.com/
• priest girls’ sermons and stories: http://prastflickealster.blogspot.com/
• clergy chicks traveling blog: http://clergychicksatraveling.blogspot.com/

[if you or someone you know would make a good “mother of invention,” please check out the nomination process and questionnaire located on the sidebar to your right.]