my apologies for for the infrequent posting lately. i’m enjoying the fellowship and insight (and wine) at the young clergy women’s conference in HOTlanta.

first name:Amie

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live in a cute house in midtown Memphis with my husband Eric and our two kids.  Phoebe is five and Frankie is two.

occupation: I teach Senior Kindergarten and just finished my first kids’ craft book, so I think I may be an author too!

Sewing School, published by Storey Books, will be on the shelves this fall.

how do you structure your time and space? Oh boy, this is the hard part – finding the balance between work, writing, family, play, household chores, and crafting. I work full-time and my youngest is at daycare while the five-year-old goes to the school where I teach. Weekdays are pretty hectic and normal. We go to work/school, come home by 5:00 p.m., eat dinner, play for about thirty minutes, and then get ready for bed. After that, I have about two hours of “me time,” which usually entails Eric and me sitting on the couch, watching bad TV, and gearing up for the next day. This is also the time I might do some crafting or catch up on work. 

The weekends are when we really have fun. Eric and I try to give the kids some great experiences and expose them to ideas and activities that mean a lot to us such as the Farmers Market, museums, baseball games, gardening, nature hikes, cooking together, garage sales, and live music.  During nap time, I get busy and use my two hours to craft and work on projects. It’s amazing that when you know you only have a short amount of time, you can make it happen. Eric and I also trade off time with the kids to make room for our own creative pursuits. We definitely have to prioritize our lives. My craft room is a perpetual mess, and I have usually forgotten to do about a million things, but we are happy!

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Recently, Sewing School, the children’s sewing book I co-wrote, has consumed me. This has been the season of “figuring it all out” for me — figuring out how to write a book in the first place; figuring out how to still be a mom, teacher, and now author; figuring out how to find ever-important time for myself; and figuring out how to give my kids what they need in order to be the kind of people I want them to be.

-what season(s) preceded this one? I was in the “I think I’m getting it!” season before I decided to write the book. I was getting how to be a mom and teacher, getting how to create interesting and creative experiences for my kids, and getting how to create sewing patterns for children (which then led to the book and my current craziness!).

-what season(s) might your future hold? I guess I’ll re-enter the “I think I’m getting it!” season again. Looking back, I realize that this seems to be my norm. I try something new, which turns everything upside down, and then finally “get it” before heading off on the next tangent. 

favorite family activity/activities: Right now, we all look forward to the local farmers market on Saturday mornings. And Eric’s Sunday morning pancakes are a family ritual. Everyone gets involved and helps him cook.

favorite solo activity: Sewing, definitely. I like to sew for my kids and myself and create new sewing patterns for children.

Source(s) of inspiration: I am lucky to work in such an amazing environment at my school. I work with a lot of working moms – moms who offer me advice, share stories, and sympathize with me. Without my workplace family, I would be a mess. I am also a big fan of craft blogs – some of my favorites are linked on my blog, http://sewingschool.blogspot.com. The Sewing School blog documents and shares ideas for sewing and crafting with kids as well as highlights some of my own crafting and family adventures.

Best MakeShift moment: I don’t think I’ve had my ultimate MakeShift moment yet. I’m sure it’s on the horizon, though!

I do my best to offer my kids some tools and ideas to promote independence and creativity. In the kitchen, the kids have a low drawer filled with their own cups, bowls, and plates. I also have some snacks (goldfish, pretzels, et cetera) that they can fix for themselves. While it doesn’t always work, it does keep me from making a million snacks a day!  We also have a great craft area set up for the kids with crayons, markers, paper, scissors, tape, and little recyclable containers and lids. Everything they can use is at their reach. I keep paints and glue high up so that I can control the mess. 

Recently, I helped Phoebe to wash all of her dress-up clothes outside. They were super dirty and needed some TLC. I was afraid that some of the fabric would not make it through the washer, so I got out a bucket with soapy water and she went to work! We hung them on the clothesline.  While she scrubbed away, I got some important weeding done in the garden. She had a blast and now her dress-up clothes are clean and smell fresh. 

find amie on the web:

• amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Sewing-School-Hand-Sewing-Projects-Kids/dp/1603425780/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1274385967&sr=8-3
• blog: http://sewingschool.blogspot.com

my friend and boss, jarad, came up with these few lines the other day. they came just in time to remind me that my work in the home is important. i hope they do the same thing for you.

it doesn’t take a whole village
or a new paradigm
or any other grand thing
to make the world better,
not if the world is sitting across the counter-
brown eyes over scrambled eggs-
looking at you.

(the world happens
just like that.)

last night marked our first return in three years to the familiar smell of rendezvous barbecue nachos and happy tunes such as “walking in memphis” playing between innings.

rendezvous bbq nachos

but this time, instead of heading to our old seats behind home plate, we packed up the monkey and bird and headed to the kid-friendly bluff.

image from the commercial appeal

the kids assumed normal outdoor family event behavior as they wandered from blanket to blanket, pilfered food from strangers, danced and clapped to music, and required andy and me to thwart their repeated efforts to toddle off into the sunset. there were, however, two incidents involving the almost-four-year-old-monkey that gave me a reluctant glimpse into my future.

the first involved a ride that essentially looked like this:

it broke my heart that the monkey wanted to ride this thing. i just knew he would get to the top, become overwhelmed and terrified, and have to endure complete and utter hell until the ride’s end. but i managed to quiet my over-protective mom voice long enough to load him onto the pleather bench with several kids who were twice his age.

he LOVED the ride, and this broke my heart even more. he’s getting so big, and he has such a high tolerance for things that others perceive to be dangerous and scary. when this child turns 16, i think i’ll just take up residence in some sort of home for chronic worriers.

the second bit of parenting insight gained at the redbirds game pertained to the monkey’s constant refrain that went like this:

“mommy… daddy… i WAAAANNT one of those pointy fingers!!!”

i responded to this request by explaining that if we purchased a “pointy finger,” we would not have enough money to buy our dinner. this seemed to make sense to him for an entire 15 minutes, and our whole family enjoyed a much-needed respite from the onslaught of monkey melancholy.

then, out of nowhere, the monkey stood before us and presented his case. he said that he would gladly go without food for the evening in order to allocate our resources toward the purchase of one pointy finger. he proceeded to suggest that his hunger could be satiated by foods from home that have been previously paid for.

after andy and i stopped laughing hysterically long enough to come up with a game plan, we told the monkey that we’d buy a pointy finger on the way out *IF* he could manage to stop the begging and negotiating madness.

look who left with a pointy finger:

i cannot say that last night’s parenting decisions were stellar. we were taken off guard. we were not ready for the inevitable stage in children’s lives that involves desperately needing to purchase bits of junk in every possible venue. next time we’ll have our wits about us. there will be a plan in place. there will be pre-event conversations with the monkey about realistic expectations.

i am beginning to see that the older my firstborn gets, the more humility this parenting thing requires and generates. parenting is not for wimps, and parenting in public places requires complete submission to fits of embarrassment.

i can tell you this much: next time i see a mom giving in to her negotiating and fit-pitching child, i will not be pointing any fingers.

first name: Cindi

age: 38

current city: Memphis, TN

living situation: I live with my husband of ten years, Mike, our five-year-old, Fifi (Sophie), and our two-year-old, Davis.

occupation: Director of the Buckman Performing and Fine Arts Center at St. Mary’s School

how do you structure your time and space?  Even though I work full-time, I want my kids to know they come first. It’s important that I drive them to and from school. I’m very protective of any time outside of work, since I often have an unpredictable schedule with evening and weekend engagements. Any time off is strictly reserved for my kiddos. I’ll take a Saturday night at Chick-fil-A over a pedi or a massage.

My husband works full time as a Multi-Media Developer and web designer and plays drums in a band on the weekends. We believe that the best way to be good for our kids is to be good to each other. So, Wednesday is date night; no exceptions. We also escape for a weekend alone in New York together once a year.

I wake up at 4:20 every weekday morning to run six and a half miles before the family gets up. It’s my only self-indulgent time when no one can bother me. With Mike’s help, I get the kids fed, dressed and strapped in the car by 7:20 a.m, and rush for Fifi’s school. My son goes to Parents Day Out two days a week and stays at home three days a week with Angelica, our nanny of five years, who might as well be a grandma to him. I do my office work at the theater between 7:45 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. When my kids get out of school, they take classes at the theater (violin and ballet) until I leave work at 4:30 p.m. Then it’s family time, with all of its necessary steps: homework, dinner, household chores, laundry, dishes, trash, pet care, baths, story time, bedtime and lights out by 8 p.m. I go back to work from my home laptop until the dryer and dishwasher stop. After folding and putting away laundry, I fall into bed by 11 p.m.

On weekends, I have my stage shows, art opening, independent film series and children’s events. Inevitably, my hubbie and I have overlaps with shows on the weekends. When that happens, we have to rely on a sitter or family. When all else fails, my theater occasionally adopts some very short ushers. We operate on a chaotic schedule in the school year, but have wonderful fall, winter and spring breaks and reduced hours and vacation in the summer.

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives,

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? This is my summer. My children are in full bloom! My greatest challenge is getting caught in the rush of today and losing perspective of the big picture of my children’s sweet lives. This is probably the busiest and most fulfilling my life will ever be. I don’t want to wish it away with the hectic climate we live in. I try to freeze moments in my mind, like swinging on my mother’s porch swing with my kids and singing last night. This is the best time when they are still happy to see and be seen with me and don’t talk back. I don’t want to forget a moment of it.

-what season(s) preceded this one? Spring! It was a time of preparing for and anticipating our little family, doing everything for the first time in my career, and adjusting to life as a newlywed and a mother-to-be.

-what season(s) might your future hold? In the next twenty years, it will be my fall. A time for harvest and reaping what I sew, my children will take on lives of their own, and my role as mother will shift from a daily caregiver to adviser, comforter, financier and taxi driver. It will be a time for new growth perhaps in my career and a time of renewal for my husband and me.

favorite family activity/activities: We love singing, dancing and listening to music together (not in a creepy Von Trap sort of way). Watching the kids choreograph and belt out their interpretations of songs and turn our fireplace into a stage is high art to us. We get a kick out of showing our kids the things that we loved when we were young and sharing it all again; Electric Company, Free to Be You and Me, Michael Jackson, the Muppet Show, Bugs Bunny. We love Hide and go Seek, walking to our neighborhood park and feeding the ducks, baking together, and reading (if I try to skip out on story time at night, Fifi is quick to remind say, “But Mommy, you’re supposed to read to your child AT LEAST 20 minutes a day!”

favorite solo activity/activities: My absolute guilty pleasure is Broadway musicals. I’m a contemporary dance junky, as well. If I’m not backstage at one of my shows, chances are I’m in someone else’s audience. For stress relief, I love running and yoga.

Source(s) of inspiration: My Mom–I talk to her every day. Her advice has never been wrong, and she’s so sensitive to the needs of others. She actually cries with me when I have a bad day. My closest friend and co-worker also inspires me. She is the most focused and balanced mother I’ve ever known. She gives me the skinny on how to do it all with grace and charm. And of course, God. I have to believe He is in control of all that is beautiful, good, bad and ugly on this earth.

Best MakeShift moment:In my office, I have a drawer filled with crayons, Mardi Gras beads, play dough, matchbox cars, and most importantly, a roll of bubble wrap. Not only does it occupy and entertain my children, it helps with other kids who find their way outside my office door. There is always a toddler waiting while “Big Sis” is taking ballet class. I also keep a kiddie movie or two with me at all times to be popped into a laptop for entertainment. And nothing beats and i-phone for shopping trips, car rides and general tot occupation!

my husband and i are avid fans of the bravo show top chef, for its emulsion of culinary inspiration, thrilling competition, world famous guest chef appearances, and reality tv drama. but when my husband asked me to order him an “i heart padma” t-shirt from the internet, i knew that there was something (or shall i say someONE) else drawing andy to the show:  the beloved host and judge, padma lakshmi.

i thought about being angry about this, but who can blame a man for recognizing beauty when he sees it?

since we were out of town for the show’s season seven premier, we settled in last night to “meet” this year’s competing chefs. but i had a difficult time concentrating on the show’s content because i was so thrilled to meet someone else: post-partum padma.

after years of struggling with endometriosis followed by a miraculous and much-celebrated ten months of pregnancy, padma was back on the show just three months after the birth of her daughter with an extra 25 pounds to show for it.

though she initially felt pressure to return to her lean pre-pregnancy size before the show’s taping, she allowed a healthier voice to take over. “women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes,” she explained, “and I wanted to show women that you can dress well, that you can still feel sexy, that you can still feel confident, and it was OK if my boobs were big because I was feeding another human being.”

so taken was i by padma’s courage to refrain from hiding her curves in tent-like layers of post-partum flowiness, that i noticed something else about her that had never registered with me before. on her upper arm, padma has a red seven-inch scar that she makes no effort to hide.

padma admits that she was once very self-conscious about this mark left by a terrible car accident when she was 14. but now she says, “i love my scar. it is so much a part of me. i’m not sure i would remove it even if a doctor could wave a magic wand and delete it from my arm.”

our bodies are markers of what we’ve been through. scars, wrinkles, and gray hairs are well-earned. we expand to hold new life and contract as we nurse those we love with all that we have. we are walking artifacts of tragedy and victory, and every minor or monumental thing that has ever happened to us. why shouldn’t we bear these things, as imperfect as they may seem, to one another? they’re the very things we have in common as human beings.

bravo for padma for proudly embodying her experiences of both darkness and light. i’m thinking about ordering myself an “i heart padma” shirt now. what do you think?

[the quotations in this post are from vogue  and babycenter.]

someone recently asked me what the most surprising thing about motherhood has been for me, and my immediate answer was that i had no idea how often this job would send me into hysterical fits of laughter.

apparently, i’m not the only one who lives with little comedians. my post on children’s bizarre sleeping accoutrements  promted one reader to send me a link to this picture:

yes, both of this reader’s children slept on foam, fold-out couches, like this one, IN their beds.

another reader’s younger child was once spotted sleeping amidst a veritable bouquet of plastic food, arranged carefully by her older child.

and finally, on the day that i confessed that my children have two different mothers, i received this shot from the proud mama of the above pictured food sleeper:

it’s nice to know that i’m not the only mother whose fierce protection of the first child was replaced by a strange willingness to allow the second child to get “pushed around.”

my children’s ages and need for regular naps, combined with the fact that i do most of my preparation for work in a home-office sometimes make for a lonely and stir-crazy existence. the best thing that has happened since i started this blog is that i now enjoy regular contact with friends, old and new. 

so, keep the crazy pictures coming. the opportunity to laugh out loud at the idiosyncrasies of other people’s children is just the plastic icing on the plastic cake!

if you’ve ever heard the song, “one voice” by the wailin’ jennys, you know that it’s the kind of music capable of convincing people, if but for a moment, that life is redemptive and beautiful, that the human community is an ever-flowing source of support and love, and that god is the best possible kind of mystery.

so, tonight (tuesday june 22nd), kimberly baker, katherine baldwin, steve berger, jarad bingham, martha kelly, john mcclure, and virginia murphy’s playback memphis improv theature ensemble are joining me in turning this beautiful song into a worship service.

pie in the sky
gathering and pie at 6:00 p.m.
worship and kids’ programming at 6:30
5530 shady grove road (at the corner of shady grove and yates)

whether you are spiritual, religious, or somewhere in between, this service is for you. come check out what happens when beautiful music and a crazy idea are coupled with soulful voices, and improv theatre. it will be pie in the sky…

first name: Sharon

age: 37

current city: Memphis

living situation: I live with my husband of almost 15 years and two daughters, ages nine and five.

occupation: I am a full-time mom and a part-time psychologist.

how do you structure your time and space? I work as a psychologist about 15 hours per week on Mondays and Wednesdays (while the kids are in school) and Friday afternoons (when my husband is off work and caring for the kids). I try to do most of the laundry, cleaning, de-cluttering, and other random household and personal tasks on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also meet with a group of friends most Tuesdays after lunch to discuss our dreams (both aspirational and nocturnal). Friday mornings I spend with my husband–running errands, having a lunch date, and just generally reconnecting. Weekends are family time. 

It’s a little harder during the summer. I hire a sitter for only the hours I need to see clients, which makes it challenging to keep up with paperwork and housework. But, in general, this schedule works well for our family. I’m happy to have found a rewarding way to stay involved in my profession and keep my license active while also being able to pick the kids up from school most days and chaperon the occasional field trip. 

using the metaphor of seasons to describe the phases of women’s lives, 

-what are the particular challenges and highlights of your current season? Having grown up in Texas, where the seasons are Hot, Hotter, and Slightly Less Hot, I’m having a hard time using the seasons metaphor for my life. But, whatever you want to call it, this is a really good season. We are all happy with our work/school arrangements; we have great friends; our church is a loving and nurturing environment for all of us; and we live within walking distance of our daughters’ school, a first-rate zoo, and several parks and playgrounds.

-What season(s) preceded this one? The previous season was a transitional one for me. I had spent some time as a stay-at-home mom and was ready to find a way to practice psychology again. I had always thought I would simply go back to working in a college counseling center again, but when I received an offer to work at one full-time, I had to face the reality that I just wasn’t willing to give up the flexibility of being able to be present for homework, after-school snacks, and periodic field trips. That was the most difficult “no” I have ever said. Even though I was absolutely certain that it was the right decision, I was terrified that I wouldn’t find a way to be a part-time psychologist and a full-time mom, and that I would lose an important part of who I was. At the time, I wasn’t ready to launch into private practice, but I did find a place where I could work part-time. That work environment ended up being unhealthy for me, but it did provide me the opportunity to learn the skills I needed to eventually go into private practice.

-What season(s) might your future hold? I’m sure the future holds another transitional phase for me, but I have no idea when that may come about. Until then, I’m just enjoying everything that is great about the current season. This living fully in the present is a new skill for me, but I like it.

favorite family activities: Wii because it allows everyone to participate despite varying skill levels, vacationing (and visiting family) in Texas, board games, going out for sorbet.

favorite solo activities: Reading is my most loved solo activity. I’m usually working my way through several books at the same time—a mixture of non-fiction (especially psychology, neuroscience, religion/spirituality), children’s literature (because it’s fun and provides a special connection with my daughter who reads the same books), and adult fiction. I also enjoy yoga and journaling (the low-tech variety), but I have to admit I am somewhat sporadic with those practices.

sources of inspiration: My friends, my dreams, books, my husband’s sermons and other writings.

best MakeShift moment: I agree with others who have pointed out that parenting is a never-ending series of makeshift moments. But one of my favorite such moments was when my oldest daughter was three. Several of her friends in the seminary housing complex we lived in had butterfly nets, and she really wanted one. We looked everywhere, and there were none to be found in any store. So I took a small needlework hoop, plastic netting some bath toys had come in, a smooth stick from the playground, and some duct tape, and I constructed a little net for her. She loved it and played with it for many months afterward. In fact, it outlasted her friends’ store-bought nets. And the best part is that, as a result of this and other similar moments, my daughter thinks of me as “the parent who fixes things”, which I overheard her telling our younger daughter recently. That is a much better title than “the mom who doesn’t cook”, which is also true, and once prompted my four-year-old to exclaim, “How will we eat?!” when she learned her dad would be out of town for a while.

[if you or someone you know would make a good feature on the MakeShift revolution, please check out the questionnaire and nomination process located on the sidebar to your right.]

my family has been vacationing in the same condominiums since before i was born, and among other amenities, the lost and found at this place has the BEST stuff!

my dad used to take us “shopping” in there for snorkeling equipment, various pool floats, and the occasional well-worn souvenir t-shirt from a crawfish boil in louisiana or a frat party at ole miss. we just never knew what we would find.

a few nights ago, while i was cooking dinner, i heard the bird trot off toward the door of the condo. i felt no need to chase him, since the door was closed, and i went about my business slicing a pear. after a couple of minutes, i asked the monkey if he had seen the bird, which, it turns out, he had not. so, the two of us stepped outside of our OPEN condo door (oops) and into the third story hallway just in time to greet the bird, happily situated in the arms of a teen-aged girl, with whom we were not yet acquainted.

“is this your child?” she asked.

“yes…” i answered, sheepishly.

she handed him over, and that was that.

the lost and found at this place has always had the BEST stuff!